


You Grew on Me

by TAPKACS



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Apocalypse, Archangels with benefits, Bottom!Gabriel, Canon Compliant, Case Fic, Dad!Castiel, Dad!Dean, Destiel - Freeform, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Horsemen, M/M, Mpreg, Near Death Experiences, Porn With Plot, Sabriel - Freeform, Season 5 AU, Season/Series 05, Top!Castiel, Top!Sam, bottom!Dean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-09 12:48:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 66
Words: 84,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7802461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TAPKACS/pseuds/TAPKACS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas was dying. This much he knew. But in a last attempt to get out his dying words, Castiel decides to anchor himself to Dean's soul to keep him there long enough to get them out. Little did he know what aftereffects this last, desperate action would have.</p><p>Season 5 AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Cas! No!"

Castiel still didn't know quite how it happened. One minute, he and the Winchester brothers were following a promising lead in Castiel's hunt to find his Father, the next thing he knew, they had been set upon by Beloniel. Castiel had barely registered his brother's arrival when he saw his blade descend towards the elder Winchester brother's chest. Castiel had been hit with an overwhelming sense of panic, when he suddenly found himself in front of Beloniel's blade, it slicing through his chest instead of the human he stood in front of.

When Beloniel's blade entered his chest, Castiel grabbed it and held. He was far too fixated on it to do much else. He didn't even feel it when Dean grabbed his own blade as he dropped it, and ran Beloniel through. He didn't see the flash of light or smell the ozone left behind by the death of his brother. All he saw was the silver blade in his chest, and the beginnings of his Grace leaking out around it.

"Cas! Cas! Look at me!"

Castiel forced himself to look away from his wound, to find green eyes staring down worriedly at him.

_Dean._

That was what he wanted to say, but instead it came out as a groan.

He felt, more than saw the hand Dean pressed to his chest around his wound, as though his mortal flesh could try to stem the flow of Castiel's Grace. Castiel would have told him that it was futile, but at that point, he was having enough trouble keeping his head upright, as Sam also entered his field of vision.

"Oh, shit."

It wasn't like the younger Winchester to swear. Castiel guessed now was as good a time as any to start.

"He's going to be fine," Dean snapped at his younger brother. "Aren't you, Cas? If you were going to go out in a blaze of glory, you'd be gone by now. It's not as bad as it looks."

Castiel wanted to correct him - to tell him that he was, in fact, dying, and it was only because he had prevented the blade from being pulled from his chest that his Grace leaked out slowly rather than in a fast torrent - but the look of panic stayed him.

"Dean..."

Castiel was surprised that he'd managed to form the word. He was ashamed by the look of hope it brought to Dean's face. Sam's remained in a tight mask. It was obvious he wouldn't let one word from Castiel to deny the inevitable.

"You're fine," Dean said. There was no room for disagreement in his tone. "All we have to do is figure out a way to plug up this whole, and you'll be fine. Right, Cas?"

Castiel felt a gentle tug at the blade, and gripped tightly. Castiel knew Dean meant well. That if they removed the blade, he could apply pressure to stop the leak of Grace while he sealed his wound, but Castiel's wound was no more a physical entity than he was. Beloniel's blade had used his vessel as a bridge to his form on the metaphysical plane. It was the reason why angel blades were one of the few things that could kill him. You needed a metaphysical weapon to damage a metaphysical form. If Dean removed the blade, Dean's hands were no more able to stem the flow of Castiel's Grace then they would have been to plug a hole in the Hoover Dam. At best, Castiel would die in a blaze of glory. At worst, Castiel would take the brothers with him.

"Dean, no."

Two words. A definite improvement. Now that Castiel had gotten over the shock of feeling a hole rend in his Grace, gotten used to the feeling of it seeping steadily from his vessel's chest, he found that he might speak.

"We can't fix it if it stays there..."

"You can't fix it at all," he said, holding Dean's eyes with his own. "Dean, it is not the hole in my vessel that will kill me. It's the hole in _me_ , and no human can fix that."

"Bullshit," Dean said. His eyes were bright with unshed tears, not that Dean would ever admit they were there. "How many times have you told me that something can't be done, just for us to prove you wrong? Why do you think this would be any different?"

Cas allowed himself the briefest of smiles. Trust Dean Winchester to stand up in front of fate and flip it the bird. Sadly, in this case, fate didn't care.

Castiel lifted his spare hand, and tried to reach Dean's face. He was appalled to find he was too weak to finish the motion. Thankfully, Dean grabbed his hand for him, and held.

"My Grace does not exist in the same plane as you," he explained softly. "If it were not for the tie I hold to this vessel, you would not even be able to see my Grace at all. I am thankful that this happened while I was in it. I'm glad that you are here with me."

"Cas, stop," Dean said. "You can't die on me. We still need you. We haven't found God yet. Lucifer is still free. You can't leave us to fix your mess on our own."

Cas tried to laugh, but it came out more as a moist choke.

"Saving you from perdition is my proudest achievement in my long existence," Cas said. It felt important to say, seeming his vision had started to grey. He could barely see Dean and Sam's physical forms now, only the bright lights shining from their souls reminding him they were still there. "I am glad that my last days were spent with you. Dean..."

"Cas!"

The words were fuzzy and barely there. Castiel felt himself slipping. But there had been one last thing he had wanted to say, wanted Dean to know that he had never told him in life. Cas used the last scraps of his Grace to reach out and hold Dean's soul, to tie him there just a moment longer, so he could get out just three more words.

_I love you._


	2. Chapter 2

"Cas!"

Dean shook Cas by the shoulders, but he knew it was no use. The hand Dean held went limp in his own, and he watched the light go out of Castiel's blue eyes. Even the light seeping from his chest faded away to nothing. Dean knew death well enough to know it when he saw it.

It didn't seem fair that Castiel, the angel who rebelled, would go out this way. Just fade away like that. Castiel deserved better. He should have gone out in a blaze of glory, his wings burning a permanent scar on the earth during some great battle that would go down in folklore. Not from taking a blade in Dean's stead - a lucky shot from them walking stupidly into an obvious trap.

Dean pulled Castiel's vessel into his arms and held him tight, barely holding back a sob. Dean Winchester didn't cry. He wouldn't stain Castiel's death by doing that now. If Castiel couldn't have a majestic death, at least he could have a dignified one. Dean shut his eyes and tried to console himself. At least Cas died from his own choice - even if that choice was to sacrifice his life for Dean's own. At least he died exerting the free will he had given so much for.

Dean felt Cas' loss like a punch to a chest. It wrapped around his heart like a vice and squeezed. 

_I never told him,_ he thought. _I never told him how much he meant to me._

__Dean gasp when the vice tightened._ _

__"Dean?" Sam asked, grabbing his brother's shoulder._ _

__All the colour had drained from Dean's face, as he crumpled into Cas' fallen form._ _

__"Dean!"_ _

__Sam grabbed Dean and rolled him over. Dean didn't fight him. Green eyes looked up into Sam's own in a panic, his chest rising and falling as he gasped like a fish._ _

__"What's happening?" Sam demanded, as the panic set in. "Dean, what is it?"_ _

__"I..." he said, trying to clutch his chest as tightly as he continued to hold Cas' hand. "I can't... Breathe..."_ _

__"What can I do?" Sam asked._ _

__"I can't breathe, Sammy."_ _

__It suddenly hit Sam then. Dean must be having a panic attack. Dean had always dealt with his emotions in the same way - by pretending he didn't have any. Obviously his brother had finally come up against a loss that was too great for him to bear, and didn't know how to process what he was feeling._ _

__"It's okay, Dean," Sam said, putting on his best soothing voice. "I understand, but you just have to slow your breathing down, okay?"_ _

__Dean looked confused._ _

__"Just take some nice, slow deep breaths with me," Sam coached, sucking in air through his nose in an exaggerated fashion, hoping his brother would copy._ _

__Dean's brows snapped together._ _

__"I'm not having a panic attack!" he snapped. "I'm dying. My heart is ripping out through my chest. Maybe... maybe when Cas pulled me from Hell he was the only thing anchoring me here. Maybe Hell is trying to take my soul back."_ _

__"Don't be stupid, Dean," Sam said. "Cas has died before - however briefly - and you were never sucked back to Hell."_ _

__"Don't ask me!" Dean growled, rending his shirt back. "Aargh!"_ _

__Dean curled inwards on himself again, as the next stab of pain attempted to pull him apart from the inside out. He couldn't explain the pain even if he tried. It wasn't just a physical pain - Dean had endured enough of that before, and he'd never acted like this. It was genuinely like someone was pulling him apart from the inside out. _Him_ \- not just his physical essence. Dean ground his teeth together as their was one more great pull, and he felt himself cleave in two._ _

__And then it was over._ _

__"Dean! Dean!"_ _

__The fog started to clear from his vision, as his brother's face came into view. Dean's body physically shook, his skin sticky with a fine film of sweat. The pain was gone, but he felt hollow, like something was missing. He allowed his brother to pull him into his arms. Dean couldn't have done it on his own._ _

__"It's okay," Dean said, as his brother checked him over. "It's over."_ _

__"What the Hell was that?" Sam asked._ _

__"Not a clue," Dean said. "But it's done."_ _

__"Can you sit?" Sam asked?_ _

__Dean nodded, even though he wasn't convinced that was the case._ _

__"Yeah, Sammy. I can sit."_ _

__It was through sheer force of will alone that Dean remained upright. The fine quivers that ran through his body refused to cease, but it seemed as long as long as he didn't try to move on his own, he would remain upright._ _

__"It must have been some kind of booby trap," Sam said. "Something that Beloniel had planned if his ambush didn't work."_ _

__"Then why was I the only one that got whammied?" Dean asked. "Don't you think that it should have affected all of us?"_ _

__"Maybe it was just meant to incapacitate Cas," Sam pointed out, swallowing hard after saying his name. "Maybe it's cause you were holding him when the trap sprung?"_ _

__"Yeah, maybe," Dean conceded. "Let's face it, Beloniel wasn't aiming for Cas when he got him. I don't think he expected him to go down so easy."_ _

__Sam grimaced._ _

__"...What?"_ _

__"Dean, Beloniel was aiming for _you_ ," Sam pointed out. "If it was any of us he should have been aiming for, it should have been me. After all, you're the Michael Sword."_ _

__Dean swore._ _

__"Beloniel knew Cas would try to save me," he said sourly._ _

__Sam nodded._ _

__"It's my fault Cas is dead."_ _

__"I'm not dead."_ _

__Dean and Sam's head spun to look at Cas, who groaned as he tried to pull himself from the ground and failed._ _

__"...Cas?"_ _

__"I'm not dead," he repeated, and sighed. He didn't even have the strength to open his eyes._ _

__And yet Dean finally had the strength to move himself, throwing himself onto Cas to embrace him._ _

__"You son of a bitch!" Dean said, his voice muffled by Cas' trenchcoat. "I thought... We thought you were dead!"_ _

__"So did I," Cas admitted, trying to lift a hand to pat Dean on the back, but failing at that as well._ _

__"But... how?" Sam demanded._ _

__"I don't know," Cas admitted. "Last thing I remembered, the last of my Grace was slipping away."_ _

__"Who cares why you're here! Let's just be glad that you are," Dean insisted, squeezing Cas tightly again just to prove to himself that he was still actually here._ _

__"Yes. Let's," Cas concurred. "Dean, could you please get off me now? I may not be dead, but I am still greatly fatigued, and you form on mine is heavy."_ _

__"Oh, yeah... Of course." Dean tried to lever himself up, but failed. He looked up at his brother, daring him to laugh. "Sammy, a bit of help?"_ _

__Sam was surprisingly gracious about helping Dean remove himself from Cas' chest. Cas grimaced slightly, finally managing to place a hand on his chest. He just couldn't work out why he was still alive. Beloniel had given him a mortal wound with his blade. There was no way to heal an injury that severe. Once your Grace was pierced severely enough, it would continue to leak from the wound until it was no more, and when that happened, Castiel should have died. Cas looked down at his chest and through it, to where his Grace rested in the metaphysical plane. It was there alright, weak and flickering like a candle. But there was also something else..._ _

__"Oh, dear."_ _

__Castiel looked across to where Dean rested in Sam's arms, as weak as Castiel felt, then back at his Grace. Dean noticed the movement and his words almost instantly._ _

__"What is it, Cas?" Dean asked, the worry evident in his voice._ _

__"...I think I have worked out why I am not dead," Castiel said. "It seems that, in my last desperate moments before my demise, I may have grabbed on to your soul and stolen a piece."_ _

__"...Say what now?" Dean asked, lifting a hand to place on his own chest. Dean remembered the tearing pain, so horrible because it stole something too central to himself, and it made sense. "You stole my soul?"_ _

__Castiel lifted his eyes to meet Dean's own._ _

__"I'm sorry," he said. "It was not my intention to do so."_ _

__"Wait - is that what stopped you from dying?" Dean asked._ _

__Castiel nodded._ _

__"I believe so. It seems that your soul managed to plug the hole that my Grace was leaking through," he admitted. "But I did not mean to take it. I... I shall endeavour to give it back, if I can."_ _

__"Hell, no," Dean snapped. "If that is the only thing that is plugging the Hoover Dam, you sure as Hell ain't giving it back."_ _

__"But I did not ask you to do this!" Castiel insisted. "It was not mine to take!"_ _

__"Dude, how many times have you saved my arse over the years?" Dean countered. "Hell, you _literally_ saved me from Hell. A little piece of my soul is the least I can give."_ _

__"Is taking Dean's soul going to have any consequences?" Sam asked._ _

__"I didn't take all his soul, only a piece of it," Castiel said. "It should have no further ill effects to him."_ _

__Sam's shoulders visibly relaxed._ _

__"Oh... good," Sam said. "...And to you?"_ _

__"I should be equally as fine. I think," Castiel said, his brows furrowing as he looked at the taint on his Grace. "It seems to act more like a plug than anything else. I cannot see my Grace mixing with it. If it remains long enough for my Grace to heal itself, I might even be able to return it in the future."_ _

__"Great!" Dean declared. "So I can be a real boy again, and you won't die. See? A win/win."_ _

__Castiel just nodded, still not looking sure about the entire situation._ _

__"Now, I don't know about you guys, but do you mind if we haul ass outta here?" Dean asked. "I don't want any of Beloniel's angel cronies turning up and taking advantage of us while we have our pants down."_ _

__Cas reflexively looked down at himself, and saw his pants remained in place._ _

__Dean rolled his eyes, noticing Cas' motion._ _

__"It's a saying, Cas," he said. "About being caught in a compromising position."_ _

__"...Oh," he replied. "Well, we do currently seem a bit compromised."_ _

__"So we're settled. Let's hit the road."_ _

__Dean tried to pull himself from Sam's grasp, but failed miserably._ _

__"Hey... A little help, here, Sammy?" Dean asked._ _

__Sam just sighed, before standing and lifting Dean onto his shoulder in a fireman's carry. Sometimes it was useful having a giant for a big brother._ _

__"Just remember, I'm only this weak cause I save Cas' life," Dean said, as Sam carried him to the car. "No bringing this up in the future, okay?"_ _

__"Wouldn't dream of it," Sam replied._ _


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel lay on the bed, staring at the spray concrete ceiling of the motel room that Sam had left him and Dean in. Sam had left about an hour ago to find something to eat, leaving Dean to sleep on the bed beside Castiel. Dean had barely hit the mattress when he'd fallen asleep, too exhausted by the day's activities to do anything else. 

In the time that had passed, Castiel had just laid on his own bed, listening to the rhythmic inhale and exhale of breath coming from Dean. He allowed himself to be lost in the sound, shutting his eyes and allowing a deep, almost meditative feeling of relaxation overtake him. In any other being, you might have described it as dozing, but Castiel was an angel, and angels never dozed, or napped, or slept.

Cas found himself looking inwards, towards his Grace and where he had accidentally patched it with a piece of Dean's soul. It stood out against the embers of his Grace, a bright patch of silver in a sea of flickering gold. Already Castiel could see where his Grace had started to bleed tendrils into Dean's soul, almost like it was welcoming a missing piece of itself. It was strange to see something that was so completely Dean knit in to himself like that, but at the same time, it almost felt like it belonged.

Patching his Grace like that should have never been possible, let alone with the soul of a human. No angel had ever survived such a brutal assault on their Grace before, and there was no way that a human soul should have been a compatible enough material to repair it. To borrow a human saying, souls and Grace were like chalk and cheese. His Grace should have rejected the incursion of foreign material, not accepted it like it was welcoming the prodigal son home.

Maybe it was only because it was Dean's soul, that it could have worked at all. After all, Castiel had long accepted that a profound bond had been forged between the pair when he raised Dean from perdition. It could have been the contact that Castiel's Grace had with Dean's soul on his resurrection from Hell had left as much of a mark on Castiel as it had on Dean, allowing his Grace to recognise it and make use of it when the need had arose. Maybe Castiel had changed Dean's soul somehow when he refashioned him a body, leaving the echo of his Grace written into the elder Winchester's DNA.

Castiel had to admit, it didn't really matter why. All that mattered was that he was still here, with Dean and Sam, and presuming the patch held, he could remain here a long time.

\--------------------------------------------------------------

Castiel didn't open his eyes again until Dean decided to open his, the following morning. As soon as he heard the waking groans from the elder Winchester, Castiel opened his eyes and pulled himself into a sitting position.

"Hey, sleepy head," Sam greeted, smiling at Castiel from where he sat, staring at his laptop screen. "Nice of you to join us."

Castiel grimaced.

"I was not sleeping," he informed Sam. "I was just resting my eyes."

Castiel didn't understand why the hint of a smile tugged at the corner of Sam's mouth when he said that.

"Goddamn, this is like the worst hangover ever," Dean groaned, from where he lay on his bed.

Castiel turned to look at the man who had saved his life, and found that Dean remained prostrate on the bed, one arm slung over his eyes as though to shield them from the light.

"I changed my mind, Cas. I want it back," Dean moaned.

Cas felt something clench in his chest.

"He's kidding!" Sam said in a rush, forcing himself in to Cas' field of vision. "Do _not_ go giving Dean his soul back, okay Cas?"

"Shit... Yeah, course I'm kidding," Dean said, alarmed when he realised Cas could have taken him at his word. "It's all yours. Now that I think about it, it's really not all that bad. I've definitely had worse..."

Dean tried to pull himself up into a sitting position, and went deathly pale. There was a concentrated look on Dean's face for a moment, and Castiel watched as his Adam's apple bobbed solidly up then down. After a couple deep breaths through his nose, Dean seemed to settle, nodding as though to indicate his triumph over something Castiel didn't quite understand.

"You okay, Dean?" Sam asked, coming to rest his hand on his brother's shoulder. "You look like you're about to hurl."

"I'm fine," he insisted. "Nothing that a little hair of the dog wouldn't fix. Or some good hangover food."

"You sure you want to eat?" Sam asked, looking slightly concerned.

"When do I ever _not_ want to eat?" he countered. "Now, if I said I'd pass on a meal, then you can be worried."

Dean pulled himself to his feet, wobbling slightly but otherwise remaining upright.

"What do you think, Cas? Wanna join us for breakfast?"

"You know I don't eat, Dean," Castiel reminded him.

"So? Then just watch us eat," he said. "It's not like you've never done it before."

Castiel just nodded, and followed the brothers out towards the car. He was slightly alarmed when Dean went and sat in the backseat instead of the driver's. Dean hated to play the passenger.

"Are you sure you're okay, Dean?" Castiel asked, when he joined him the backseat.

"I'm fine Cas," he said, reaching across to place a comforting hand on Cas' arm. A small electric shocked zapped them from the touch. Neither of them mentioned it. "Are you okay, though? Is it doing it's job well?"

"Yes, Dean," Cas said. "Your soul is doing it's job very well. My Grace should heal very soon, thanks to you."

"And then you can give it back," Dean said. "I wonder what it'll feel like, having a bit of soul that's had a holiday in an angel?"

Castiel grimaced slightly, thinking about the piece of Dean's soul and how his Grace was merrily absorbing it. For some reason, now didn't seem like the time to mention that he might not be able to give it back.

It didn't take long for them to reach the diner. Dean was a lot steadier on his feet this time, the promise of food too tempting to give in to his spiritual fatigue. Castiel just followed the two brothers in, sitting next to Dean in the booth as they looked over the menus and ordered.

"Yeah, I'll have the pancakes, a side of bacon, and a coffee," Dean said, when their waitress arrived. "Actually, make that two sides of bacon. Can you make sure it's extra crispy?"

"Sure thing, sweet cheeks," she said, winking at him.

"Can I have the fruit salad and a coffee?" Sam asked, handing her his laminated menu.

"Jeesh, Sammy. Can you try eating something without salad in the name for once?" Dean challenged.

"And how about you, sugar?" the waitress asking, ignoring the banter between the brothers.

"...I'll just have a coffee," he said, noncommittally. 

He didn't intend to drink it, but Castiel had discovered very early on in the piece that people seemed a lot less bothered about you not eating when you nursed a cup of coffee. 

The waitress returned with their three cups of coffee, before leaving again. The acrid smell reached Castiel's nose, and for a change, it didn't bother him as much as it usually did. In fact, it smelt quite nice. He lifted the cup and took a deeper breath in, enjoying the feel of the slightly burnt tones in his airways.

"Well, I guess that's getting closer," Dean said, watching Castiel sniff his coffee while he took a slurp out of his own.

"I guess we better start talking about what our plans are," Sam said. "I mean, obviously yesterday's lead turned out to be a complete bust."

"You mean trap," Dean corrected. "We got played, and you know it, Sammy."

Castiel grimaced, and sniffed his coffee again. It had been his plan to seek out the Sign they were looking for yesterday, and look where it got them? On reflection, it had been too good to be true. After all, what were the chances that a burning bush would have appeared in Wyoming, of all places?

"Yeah, we did," Sam agreed. "And we got reamed. Neither of you are gonna be fit to go hunting for awhile. I think we should just pack up and head back to Bobby's to recuperate."

"Not the worst idea you've had," Dean said, as the waitress returned with Sam and Dean's breakfasts. "It's not like it'll be a waste of time, either. Bobby can help us try and track down a new lead."

A new aroma reached Castiel's nose, making his head turn. Something sweet and smoky, and all-too alluring. Dean was surprised when Castiel leaned forward to sniff his plate.

"Hey, what's up with the sniffing, Cas?" he asked, leaning back to make room for Castiel's incursion.

"What is that smell?" he asked, taking another deep breath.

"...It's bacon," Dean supplied, picking up a rasher between his fingers when Cas finally leaned back and waved it under his nose. "Do you want to try some?"

"No," Castiel said, shaking his head. "I don't eat."

"Yeah, so you'll just rape my food with your nose instead?" he asked. "Since when did you become so focused on smells, anyway?"

Cas' brows furrowed.

"I don't know. For some reason, they just seem more vivid to me this morning."

"Maybe it's because you're fronting some of my soul," Dean said. "Maybe my taste is starting to rub off on you."

Cas grimaced.

"I hope not," he said.

"Hey, what's wrong with my sense of taste?" Dean asked, waving the bacon at him again. Castiel couldn't help the indrawing of air through his nostrils.

"Apart from the fact that it's going to give you a heart attack at forty?" Sam quipped. "Nothing."

"Shut up, Sammy. You don't see Cas huffing your breakfast," Dean said. "Come on, Cas. Give it a try. Who knows how long this interest in food will last, after your Grace recovers? Why don't you enjoy trying to be me, for a change."

Cas just sighed, surveying the piece of bacon in Dean's hand. After a moment, he reached out and took it, placing it in his mouth and biting down. His eyes widened at the explosion of flavour in his mouth.

"See, Sammy? He likes it!" Dean announced with triumph.

"This is what bacon tastes like?" Cas asked.

"Yeah. Awesome, isn't it?" Dean said. "Come on, Cas. Eat up. It's a diner. We can always get more."

Cas just nodded, before taking another bite.

"You just wait until I introduce you to pie," Dean said, and smiled.

Castiel couldn't help the small smile that formed in return.


	4. Chapter 4

It was an odd sensation for Castiel to be sitting next to Dean in the back of the Impala. Despite appearances when they were with Sam, neither man was particularly short, and they found themselves pressed up against each other, just to fit.

Castiel had been surprised when Dean once again chose to remain in the backseat, during their drive back to Bobby's. He reasoned to himself that Dean must have still been too tired to drive, but he did not really understand why Dean chose to retire to the backseat with him, as opposed to sitting up front beside his brother. Dean had never been fond of incursions into his personal space, as evidenced by his multiple attempts at teaching Castiel what the definition of personal space was. It seemed odd that he would suddenly not mind being plastered to Castiel's side, during the eight-hour drive to Bobby Singer's house.

Maybe the sudden change in Dean's behaviour was because Castiel now harboured a piece of his soul. Cas didn't even have to look now, to feel it burning there in the centre of his Grace, an island of humanity amongst his divinity. Maybe Dean was still drawn to what was once a part of him, and the proximity to Cas felt comforting because of it. Not that Castiel truly cared at all. He was always at his happiest when he was close to Dean. The addition of Dean's soul just meant that he still had a link to him, even when they were apart.

Castiel sighed, and allowed himself to get settled for a long car ride, his thigh pressing just that little bit harder against Dean while he readjusted his vessel for the prolonged drive again. Dean shoved back slightly against Cas' movement, as though to say 'this space is mine', but didn't say a word. Cas looked up at him for a moment, and saw a small smile tug at the edge of Dean's mouth, before he turned to look out the window. Castiel felt prompted to do the same.

Castiel didn't know how long they sat there like that for, staring out of their respective windows, as mile upon mile of Midwestern scenery passed them by. After awhile, he shut his eyes and leaned his head against the window, allowing the fine vibrations from the glass to run through his skin, while he watched his rapidly re-accumulating Grace try to adjust to the patch of soul now nested amongst it.

Castiel was jolted from his meditation, when he felt something slide up his thigh, and squeeze. 

His eyes jolted open, and he looked down at his lap, where a hand remained massaging the absolute apex of his thigh. His brows furrow as he follows the arm to it's source, to find Dean attached to the other end, still looking out of his window into the fog beyond.

"...Dean? What are you doing?" Cas asked, hesitantly.

Dean didn't answer him. He just turned his head and smiled as Cas, making more concentrated motions where he ground the skin of his hand into Cas' thigh.

Had he actually been human, his heart would have been racing from Dean's touch. As it was, his Grace seemed to buzz within his chest like a particularly large bee. Cas pressed his lips together, as he felt that buzzing descend into his stomach. As nice has having Dean touch him felt, all he could think about was...

"Sam might see."

Dean shook his head, and winked at Cas, who turned towards the front seat, and found it completely empty.

Cas was confused - where had Sam gone? Had they pulled over and he'd gone to refill the car with gas, or grab a cup of coffee? But Cas could still feel the purr of the engine, still see the blurry movement of trees in the fog that had wrapped around the car. Suddenly it occurred to him.

"This is a dream."

Castiel had never been in a dream before - at least not his own. To be able to dream, you must be able to sleep, and angels did not sleep. A brief wave of panic rushed through Castiel, as he struggled to think of how he could have fallen asleep, but that quickly washed away when dream-Dean chose that moment to pull himself from where he was seated, to straddle Castiel's lap.

Cas felt his chest freeze, as Dean placed his hands over his heart, right where a moment ago Cas had been aware of the thrum of his Grace. He looked down at the spot with an almost yearning look, like if he stared long enough, he could see the part of himself that Castiel had stolen. Dean leaned forward to lean his forehead against Castiel's, and shut his eyes. 

Being this close to Dean was intoxicating. Even though Castiel knew it was just a dream, he couldn't help but notice the way Dean's warm breath sprayed across his face with each breath, the gentle pressure of carrying another man on his lap, the pulse of blood the rushed under Dean's skin with each heart beat. His Grace hummed in delight from having him so close, pressing up against the skin of his vessel, trying to get as close to him as possible. It was like it wanted to reach out and wrap itself around Dean, welcome him as much as it had the fragment of his soul.

Cas would have been happy staying this way with Dean forever, dream or not. But Dean had to surprise Castiel again, as he wrapped a hand around the back of Castiel's neck and started to sway back and forth against him.

"Cas," Dean groaned, prompting a wave of tingles to rush through Castiel.

Castiel could feel it, Dean's soul surging out to try and join his own, as hard as his Grace tried to reach out to join his. Cas' head tilted back reflexively in response to the sensation, as every inch of his vessel burned where Dean touched it, and groaned. Each brush of Dean's skin against his own, each scrape of denim against pantsuit, intensified the sensations that were beginning to consume Castiel. And from the way Dean writhed and gasped and groaned, it seemed that he was as equally affected.

Cas didn't care that all this was just a dream. He didn't want it to stop. He reached out and grabbed Dean tightly by the arm, trying to increase the friction being generated between them as his hips bucked against his own will. He could feel beads of sweat begin to form against Dean's skin, as Dean bit his bottom lip and keened. 

"Don't stop," Cas begged. "Never stop."

But Dean just shook his head, before his body collapsed against Castiel in a shuddering mess.

Castiel's eyes snapped open, when the Impala ground to a halt. His arms flailed, as though he was trying to reestablish some equilibrium, his head spinning around to survey the scene. They had arrived at the junk yard that Bobby's house nested within. Sam spun around, a hand resting on the passenger seat as he looked back at where Dean and Cas sat.

"Hey! Have fun resting your eyes, again?" Sam teased.

Cas just blinked a couple times, trying to slow his breathing that remained affected by his dream.

"I'm fine," he insisted, but Sam just had a knowing smile. 

Cas turned to face Dean, and was surprised to see a slight flush to the hunter's face, as he crossed his legs and twisted away from where Castiel sat. Cas felt his stomach (at least, his metaphysical substitute for a stomach) twist - how much had the brother's been aware of while Castiel slept? But thankfully, neither brother mentioned Cas' nap again, and got out of the car and headed in to find Bobby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Just a _teensy_ bit of smut! It may have just been a wet dream, but I wanted to get some in before life became too busy. Guess I'm gonna have to check what the rating system actually means (whoops).
> 
> Two weeks until exams (sigh).


	5. Chapter 5

"So it was a trap, hey?"

Bobby sat at his desk, nursing his glass of whiskey as the boys explained just what happened during their trip to Wisconsin. Dust motes danced in the foggy beams of light from the late-afternoon sun that shone through windows that had probably not been cleaned since Bobby's wife died.

Dean just nodded, saying, "Yeah."

"You boys need to be more careful," Bobby said, every-bit sounding like the surrogate father. "What with you guys being marked as vessels for the big showdown, you've got massive targets painted on your backs. Don't make it any easier for the bastards to get you."

"We don't think it was actually us they were after this time," Sam said.

"I believe the target for the attack was me," Castiel admitted.

"Yeah... Well, if they were after you, it's only cause they know that they have snowball's chance in Hell of getting near the boys with you around," Bobby pointed out. "Ain't easy getting near them if they got themselves an attack angel. But you're okay, though? No after-effects from the patch job?"

"I think Cas is turning into me," Dean said. "Turns out he likes bacon and long naps."

Castiel grimaced.

"I am _not_ turning into you," he insisted. "My Grace is just drained from the assault yesterday, and while it re-accumulates, it seems that I will need to take care of some of the physical needs of this vessel myself."

"You sure?" Dean asked. "Cause you got a little bit of Winchester in you now, buddy. All I'm sayin' is I was a bad enough influence on you when you weren't rocking a bit of my soul."

Castiel couldn't help the small smile that tugged at the corner of his lips.

"So how long until your mojo is back at full strength?" Bobby asked.

"I don't know," Castiel admitted. "No angel has ever survived such an assault on their Grace. I don't know how long it will take my Grace to recover from such a depletion, or whether the patch will maintain it's current integrity."

"Wait, so you're saying there's still a chance that it'll fail and you'll die?" Dean said, panicked.

"I'm saying that it is hard to predict the outcome," Cas said. "No one has ever attempted to patch a Grace with a human soul before. It should not even be possible at all. All I can say is at this stage, my Grace is not rejecting the piece of your soul. As long as that remains the case, it seems that I will be fine."

"You know, you're just meant to say that everything's going to be fine," Dean said. "Come on, Cas. Lie to me, a bit."

"I'm sorry," he said, automatically. "I am still learning when you actually want to hear the truth versus wanting to hear a happy lie."

Dean smiled, and slapped Cas on the back.

"Hey, no probs, Cas," he said. "For future reference, if I ask if you're gonna die, you say no. Okay?"

Cas nodded.

"Okay."

"Well, if you two are done with your moment," Bobby interjected, "I think we gotta start looking at where we head from here. If angels are gonna start trying to assassinate your attack angel, you're gonna have to be a bit more slick from here on in while hunting Lucifer."

"I don't think we're going to be hunting Lucifer for awhile, Bobby," Dean admitted. "I'm still pretty stuffed from being a soul donor, and Cas is gonna take awhile getting back up to full speed. Sam's all good, but no offence, I don't want him out on his own while Lucifer and his cronies want him as a meat suit."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Dean," Sam said.

"Who said anything about lacking confidence in you?" Dean said. "I'm just not underestimating those bastards. Just because you have to say yes to let him in doesn't mean that they have to be nice to you to get you to do it."

"So it's settled, then. No more hunting until you're all up to joining in," Bobby said. "Dean, go to bed. You look like you've been run over by a truck. Sam, feel free to help me out with some research."

"Don't you want some lunch before you get to bed?" Castiel asked Dean, following him from Bobby's study.

Dean shook his head.

"Sam and I grabbed some on the trip while you had your siesta. We would have woke you, but you looked so comfy," Dean said. "There's still some time before dinner, though, and a nap doesn't sound like a bad idea. Wanna join me?"

"Excuse me?" Cas asked.

"Don't take it personally, Cas, but you look like shit," Dean said. "There's an extra bed in my room. Make use of it."

Cas thought about the contents of his last dream, and felt glad that angels didn't blush.

"I think I'll pass," he said.

"Don't be stupid, Cas," Dean said. "Have a nap. We're gonna need you back up to full power as soon as possible, you know? Can't hide out in Casa Singer forever. There's an Apocalypse to win."

Cas smiled slightly - he seemed to be doing that a lot recently.

"Okay, Dean," he said, and followed Dean up the stairs to the guest room.

Two single beds sat on either side of the room. Dean went and claimed his bed on the left of the room, pulling back the wool blanket and hopping in, throwing off his boots on the way. Castiel went and sat slightly more delicately on his own.

"Sweet dreams, Cas," Dean said, pulling up his blanket and rolling to face the wall.

"Sweet dreams, Dean," Cas replied.


	6. Chapter 6

Castiel sat at the table, absently chewing on a piece of bacon.

In the two weeks they had been at Bobby's house now, Dean seemed to have made a game of how much bacon he could get Castiel to eat in a single sitting. He'd always start by putting two or three rashers on Cas' plate, and then sneak extras on throughout the meal, just to see how many he could trick the angel into eating. At this point, he was no longer sure how many rashers he had eaten that morning.

Castiel didn't actually mind this game of Dean's. It was harmless, and it seemed to keep him amused during his forced isolation in Bobby's house while Castiel recovered. And if Dean found feeding bacon to Cas entertaining, then Cas was not going to discourage it.

The current record was twelve, as far as Castiel remembered.

It seemed Dean may have been right when he suggested the addition of some of his soul may have permanently affected some of Cas' appetites. Cas had been glad to find that his Grace had recovered well since his encounter with Beloniel's blade. His Grace had formed a callus of sorts around the part of Dean's soul used to heal it, a slight imperfection in the smooth surface of his newly recovered Grace. However, Cas' ability to sleep and eat had remained.

He'd definitely say ability, as opposed to need. A couple nights ago, Cas had stayed up through the entire night just to prove that he could and had been no worse for wear for the exercise. However, he found he actually missed the experience of sleeping when he went without, and seeming it seemed that the occasional lapses into unconsciousness were doing him no harm, he saw no reason not to keep it up.

Cas smiled when he heard Dean sneaking more bacon onto his plate, but said nothing to let on that he knew what Dean was doing.

Sam, however, was not so subtle.

"Quit it, Dean, or you're going to make him sick," Sam said from his side of the table, obscured slightly by his laptop screen.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Sammy," Dean said, taking a sip from his coffee and trying to look innocent.

"That's the fifteenth rasher of bacon you've snuck on to Cas' plate," he said. 

"Hey! New record!" Dean said, joyfully. "Look - I'm pretty sure Cas is a big enough boy that he'll stop eating when he's full."

"I'm pretty sure Cas is just eating that much to keep you entertained," Sam said.

"I am here, you know," Cas added.

"Oh, we know," Dean said, patting Cas' shoulder. "You just keep eating your bacon."

Cas just shook his head, and picked up another rasher.

"You could at least pick something else to feed him," Sam said. "Maybe try a grapefruit or something. Toast. Cereal."

"But he likes bacon," Dean insisted. "Don't you, Cas?"

"It does have a certain appeal," Cas admitted. "What are you looking at, Sam?"

Sam shut his laptop.

"Nothing."

"Uh, oh. I know that face," Dean said. "What's up, Sammy?"

Sam sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"It's nothing. Really." Dean just stared at him. "Oh, all right. I've just been reading some news articles about a small town in Yankton County. Supposedly they just held a hotdog eating contest there, and one of the participants popped from overeating."

"...Popped? As in..."

"Monty Python-style gut explosion," Sam explained. "Like he had just one little wafer too many."

"Okay, that's weird," Dean ceded. "Sounds like a case. So what's the name of the town?" 

"Gayville."

"...No! Seriously?" Dean asked.

Sam nodded.

"Oh, we gotta go there," Dean said, looking at Cas and smiling.

"But Cas is still recovering," Sam said.

"I am fine," Cas insisted. "My Grace has nearly completely recovered."

"You sure, dude?" Dean asked. "We don't wanna push you too hard too early. Don't want to pop the cork holding your Grace in or nothing."

"I don't think there's any risk of that 'cork' popping," Cas said. "My Grace has almost fully integrated your piece of soul into itself. I don't think I could remove it if I tried. Sorry, Dean."

"Hey, don't sweat it," Dean said, slapping Cas on the back again. "I actually _like_ the idea of you having a little bit of Winchester in you."

Sam cleared his throat.

"So it's settled, then," Dean said, smiling. "We're all heading off to Gayville."

Sam chuckled slightly, and Dean winked. Cas couldn't work out why the brothers seemed so amused by this at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is what happens when I allow myself to write immediately before bed - I write nearly an entire chapter around Dean feeding Cas bacon. 
> 
> Oh, well. It's a bit of fun, and this is my fun fic.


	7. Chapter 7

"I'm Agent Ehart. These are Agents Williams and Greer," Dean said, as they flashed their fake FBI badges at the local county sheriff. "We're here to look into the recent death at Hotdogapalooza."

The sheriff straightened from where he sat behind his desk.

"Why is the FBI interested in that death?" he asked. "Coroner's already chalked that one down to death by misadventure."

"Any and all deaths at a live event are subject to an investigation," Sam explained. "It is important to make sure that events are organised in such a way to minimise risk to the general public. Seeming Hotdogapalooza is a travelling event that crosses state lines, it comes under our jurisdiction."

The sheriff didn't look convinced.

"...Wouldn't that be occ health and safety more than FBI's jurisdiction?" he asked.

"I'm sure it will be, eventually," Sam said. "We just have to rule out any foul play before we can hand it over to the safety jockeys."

The sheriff shrugged.

"Okay, then. But don't say I didn't warn you," he said, handing over the case file to Sam. "Pretty simple case of misadventure. Billy Armstrong was a big wig on the competitive eating circuit. Hometown favourite for the competition. Managed to scarf thirty-eight hotdogs before his stomach gave out. Splashed the whole first row of spectators, too."

"Do participants in these competitions frequently explode?" Dean asked.

The sheriff scratched under his eye.

"Well, I ain't ever heard of it," he ceded. "A couple heart attacks, a couple bowel perforations, a couple asphyxiations, but this is the first time I've heard of someone actually exploding."

"So where is Mr Armstrong's body now?" Dean asked.

"Over at the coroners still," the sheriff said. "Due to be moved to the funeral home this afternoon. Guess I better put a halt on that, if you fellas are still looking into it."

"That'd be much appreciated," Dean said. "So where is the coroner's office?"

The sheriff threw his thumb over his shoulder.

"We ain't a big town, Agent Ehart. We have a small morgue at the back of the station, just to store bodies while they're waiting to be shipped out to Yankton," he explained. "Armstrong should still be there. Did you want me to call the Doc in to assist you fellows?"

"I think we'll manage," Dean said, slapping a hand on Castiel's shoulder. "Agent Greer here was a pathologist in a previous life. If this case really is as cut and dried as you say it is, no point bothering the good doctor."

The sheriff nodded.

"Okay, then. I guess we better get Charlene to show you back there," he said, standing. "Just make sure you put things back where you found them after, okay?"

Dean reached out to shake the sheriff's hand.

"You have my word, Sheriff."

Dean, Cas and Sam were led down the hall by the Charlene, the sheriff's secretary, to a small locked door at the end of the corridor, with _Morgue_ stencilled on it. Charlene was in her early twenties, and had that small-town type of charm - straw-blonde hair, a bit too much make-up, and walked with a swagger that said she was aware men would be watching.

"Okay, boys. Here you go," she said, winking as she turned the key and bumped the door open with a hip. "If I can do anything for you - anything at all - just let me know."

And then she winked - _very_ deliberately - at Dean.

Sam was surprised when Dean didn't flirt back. Normally he didn't have an issue with going for the low-hanging fruit.

The boys headed in to the morgue - just a single room, bare examination table, and a walk-in fridge at the back of the room like you'd see in a restaurant's kitchen. They walked over to the chrome door and pulled the handle, opening it to reveal a barouche with a rather large and rather full body bag on it, along with multiple tupperware containers that seemed to be filled to the gills with... mush.

"Lovely," Dean said, as Sam walked towards the body bag and unzipped it. 

The younger Winchester reeled back, when he was hit with the aroma of insides that were no longer _inside_ , almost gagging.

"Oh... God," Sam said, stepping away from the barouche.

"Hey, Cas," Dean said, remaining firmly planted where he stood at the door of the fridge. "How about you go have a look and see if your angel mojo tells you anything?"

Cas nodded, and walked towards the body bag, unfazed. He had never been bothered by the scent of human decay. It seemed the least he could do was to save the brothers from the trauma, seeming they were so affected.

Cas looked down at the contents of the body bag. In it lay a man of unusual girth. Glassy brown eyes were set in a balding head that was lacking in a neck, with some sort of putrid residue clinging to his cheeks. Cas allowed his eyes to scroll down the man's chest to his abdomen, where what was once a rather impressively sized abdomen had been nothing short of blown apart. Only bits and pieces of intestines and other organs remained in the cavity of what was once his peritoneum. Cas looked up at the tupperware containers, and their liquid contents, and surmised that that was probably the residue of what had previously been the internal organs of Mr Armstrong.

Cas felt something twist uncomfortably within his Grace.

"So, Cas. What you think?" Dean asked. "Is this a case, or what?"

Cas turned to look at Dean, but said nothing. He was too distracted by the sensation of his Grace twisting around the patch of Dean's soul. The peripheries of it throbbed in his vessel's ears, as though it was trying to escape the turmoil at the centre of it.

"Hey, Cas. You okay?" Dean asked, walking towards Cas, who was occupied taking deep breaths in and out through his nose as he willed his Grace to settle.

His Grace suddenly snapped back, like a rubber band, and next thing Cas knew, he was outside, bringing up the remnants of his breakfast of eighteen rashers of bacon into the alley behind the Sheriff's office.

It was only a couple of minutes later when Sam and Dean joined him. 

Strong arms wrapped around his shoulders, and helped Cas to sit in the alley. Dean knelt in front of him, placing a hand on his face as he tried to get Cas to focus on him.

"Hey, Cas. You okay, buddy?" Dean asked, the concern evident in his voice.

Cas nodded.

"I'm fine," he insisted. "I don't know what came over me."

"Yeah, well. Seeing a man splattered apart like that is sure to make even the strongest man hurl," Dean said comfortingly.

Cas noticed that Dean hadn't removed his hand from his face yet. Cas shut his eyes, and allowed the sensation of Dean's skin on his to calm him.

"Yes, of course," Cas said. "It was... a distressing sight."

That was a lie.

Cas had seen bodies damaged far worse than that of Mr Armstrong and had never been disgusted before. He had always had a degree of clinical detachment when it came to human flesh, like a chef handling animal meat. Cas didn't think he'd been that bothered by seeing the remains of their victim. What had been distressing was the way Dean's soul had fought against his for those moments, moving independently from the rest of Cas' soul as though it was trying to escape it.

Cas looked up into Dean's eyes, and knew he couldn't tell him what he feared - that maybe his Grace had not accepted Dean's soul as completely as he had originally thought. Because if he were to admit that, he would have to accept there was the possibility of it failing, and he would die. He couldn't have Dean worry about an outcome neither of them could prevent.

Cas sighed, and pulled away from Dean's touch.

"I'm sorry to have scared you both," Cas said. "I feel a lot better now."

"Are you sure?" Dean asked, watching as Cas pulled himself unsteadily to his feet.

Cas nodded.

"Yes," he said. "As to the fate of Mr Armstrong, his death is definitely not normal. There is no way that the consumption of that number of hot dogs could have resulted in that kind of carnage."

"So we have a case," Sam said.

Cas nodded.

"Definitely."

"Great," Dean said. "So you know where our next stop is, right?"

Cas shook his head.

"Hotdogapalooza!"


	8. Chapter 8

The Winchester brothers and their angels hit a small snag in their investigation when they reached the hall in Yanktonville where Hotdogapalooza had relocated. It turned out that Sam's assertion that any death at a live event had to be investigated was not so far fetched, and by the time they had reached there, FBI and occupational health and safety officials were already crawling all over the event.

"Well, there goes that plan," Dean said, stashing his FBI ID before any of the legitimate agents could spot it.

The boys headed outside and back into the Impala, to consider their next move.

"So what the Hell are we going to do now, Dean?" Sam asked.

"Only one thing we can do," Dean said. "We need to get into that event, and we need to talk to the hot dog jockeys to find the person responsible for this. Obviously, one of us is going to have to join the competition."

"Okay. I'll do it," Castiel said, from his position in the back seat.

"Excuse me?" Dean said, twisting to face Cas.

"Well, I am the obvious choice," he asserted.

"What makes you the obvious choice?" Dean asked. "You didn't even eat until a fortnight ago. Don't you think someone with a little bit more experience would be a better option?"

"Dean, you saw those athletes in there," Cas said. "Did you see how overdistended their stomachs were? And did you notice the decreased innervation of their oesophagus to assist with suppressing their gag reflex? It takes years of training to develop those kind of physiological adaptions. Your habitual eating to maintain homeostasis do not count.

"I, on the other hand, am not limited by hunger when I eat. Everything I eat is consumed by my Grace, so I have theoretically a limitless ability to consume food, should it be needed," Cas explained. "Then there are the further advantages that my being an angel would provide. Not only does it give me a good vantage point to help identify our perpetrator, but should they attempt to harm me as they did Mr Armstrong, they would be _very_ unlikely to achieve anything."

"He does have a point, Dean," Sam ceded. "Besides, you know Cas' mojo is great for spotting the supernatural. We could hide out in the crowd and wait for him to give us the signal on who we should be following."

Dean pouted, folding his arms across his chest.

"I don't like this," Dean said.

"You don't have to like it, Dean," Sam said, squeezing his brother's shoulder. "Besides, Cas is a big boy. He can take care of himself."

"Yeah, whatever," Dean said, shrugging Sam off along with his FBI jacket. "Let's get this over with."

They headed back inside the building, towards where the organisers sat under a large sign that announced 'Sign Ups'. A man in his 50s that they'd earlier seen having an argument with a man with a clipboard and safety helmet sat at the table, running a hand through his short, curly hair. A plate of hotdogs sans buns sat on the table.

"Hey," Dean said, walking up to the table and kicking it. "My buddy here would like to sign up."

The man sighed, running a hand over his face as he looked towards Cas.

"You're kidding me, right?"

"Don't let the whole tax accountant look fool you," Dean said. "Guy's a fiend when it comes to putting away hotdogs."

The man scoffed, and turned towards Cas.

"What's your name, son?" he asked.

Cas looked towards Dean for a moment. It occurred to him that _My name is Castiel. I am an angel of the Lord_ was probably not an appropriate alias.

"...Steve," Cas supplied, cautiously.

"You have a last name, Steve?" the man asked.

"Winchester?"

The organised smiled.

"Okay, Mr Winchester. Have you ever competed in a competitive eating competition before?" he challenged.

"No," he admitted. "But I understand the premise, and I think I'd cope under the physiological pressures well."

"This ain't as easy as it looks, you know," the organiser said. "Years of training goes into preparations for one of these competitions. People die at these things."

"Yes, I've heard," Cas replied. "I would still like to compete."

"Fine," the guy said, pushing a plate of hot dogs towards Castiel. "You finish all the hot dogs on this plate, and I'll let you enter."

Castiel just nodded and picked up a hot dog. The sausage flopped around like rubber between his fingers, before he tilted his head back, and swallowed it whole. He followed it with a further eleven hot dogs, finishing off the plate. The organiser looked stunned.

"Jee, boy!" he exclaimed. "Your boyfriend wasn't kidding when he said you knew how to put them away! Sign this disclaimer, and you're all set. Competition's tonight at 6pm sharp. Hope that hasn't ruined your appetite."

"I think I'll be recovered by then," Castiel said, being careful to sign his name as _Steve Winchester_ on the form, before turning and leaving.

The Winchester brothers followed him, Dean being genuinely stunned into silence by Cas' lack of gag reflex


	9. Chapter 9

Castiel was less than impressed with the outfit Dean chose for him to wear to the competition that evening. He pulled on the waistband of the sweatpants, watching as it pulled at least a foot from his vessel's muscular stomach.

"This is completely unnecessary, you know," Cas informed him. "My Grace literally vaporises everything my vessel eats upon consumption. There is no risk that I would be requiring elasticised pants."

"Ah," Dean said, lifting a finger along with his eyebrows. "But no one here is _meant_ to know that you're anything but another human, eating a shit tonne of hot dogs, and all that food needs to go _somewhere._ " 

Cas grimaced.

"Hey, it was you're idea that you be the one to compete," Dean said. "Could have been me. I'm not proud. I don't care who sees me in a tee and sweatpants."

"As evidenced by your attire most weekends," Sam quips. "Don't worry, Cas. You can get back into your trench as soon as the competition is over. Just consider this a disguise."

"A disguise," Cas repeated. "Like your suits when you pretend to be FBI agents."

"Exactly!"

"But those suits are a great deal more flattering than this," Cas said, tugging on the hem of his over-large t-shirt with the Hotdogapalooza logo on it, and sighed. "Fine. I shall endeavour to imagine that I am in disguise."

"Great!" Dean said. "Now, Cas. Can we practice what the signal is again if you spot the bad guy?"

Cas sighed again, and pumped his fist in the air and looked at Sam pointedly. Even without looking at him, Cas could feel Dean's grin.

"Awesome," Dean said, his voice lilting with barely suppressed mirth. "All you have to do is do that, and stare at the guy so Sam and I can catch him, and BAM! Job done!"

"This still does nothing to address what you plan on doing with him once I've identified him," Cas pointed out. "After all, you still don't even know what type of creature you are up against."

"That's easy, Cas. We do what we always do - improvise," Dean said.

"It's not like we've not pretty much faced the entire gamut of supernatural beings during our time hunting," Sam pointed out. "I'm sure we've got something in our boot of tricks to subdue them."

The grimace on Cas' face told them he wasn't convinced. 

"Okay, competiteaters! Time to take your places!" one of the organisers shouted.

And just like that, it was suddenly too late for Cas to back out. Dean watched as Cas joined the other contestants at a long table at the front of the hall, seated approximately two thirds of the way down. Dean had to hold back the laugh when he saw the look of concentration on Cas' face, every bit the warrior about to head in to battle, seated behind a platter of hot dogs. It was all the more amusing, because pretty much every other person at the table also had the same expression.

"Good evening, ladies and gentleman!" the MC announced, voice booming over the loud speakers. "And welcome to Hotdogapalooza - the nation's premiere travelling competitive eating competition! Tonight is our last night in South Dakota, as we travel across the fifty-one states to find America's greatest competitive eater!"

The crowd cheered.

"Now let's welcome our reigning champ for South Dakota - Merv Hendrickson!"

Another cheer. A morbidly obese man with a ginger beards stood for a moment at the centre of the table, waved, and sat down again.

"Merv currently holds the record for South Dakota, eating eighty-one hot dogs in ten minutes," the MC announced. "If he can just hold it together for one more night, he is going to be your state champion headed to the national Hotdogapalooza championship in Las Vegas!"

_Holy shit!_ Dean mouthed at Sam. Eighty-one hot dogs was a ridiculous amount. 

The MC walked up next to a digital monitor, as ten minutes flashed up on the counter.

"Ten minutes is on the clock!" he announced. "Competiteaters, on your marks, get set..."

The starter's pistol went off, and immediately the sixteen men at the table started shoving hot dogs into their mouths.

Cas started to eat his hot dogs at a much more sedate rate than his competitors. After all, eating the most hot dogs was not actually his goal. Blue eyes scanned the assembled crowd. He could see Dean and Sam at opposite sides of the room, having strategically placed themselves while they waited for the sign from Cas. Cas just continued to insert hot dogs into his mouth, one after the other, as he looked from sweaty face to sweaty face in the crowd, wondering how any of them could be so excited by watching sixteen grown men overfilling themselves on hot dogs.

Three minutes in, and the first competitor started to vomit.

Cas was methodical, sweeping his eyes from person to person one at a time. So far, no one seemed particularly out of place. Everytime he started to look at a new person, he inserted another hot dog into his mouth, feeling it slide greasily down his throat to be consumed by his Grace.

By five minutes in, six other challengers had been forced to bow out.

The longer the timer had the chance to tick down, the more urgent Castiel felt. Each minute that passed by, made the likelihood of another person exploding higher and higher. Cas started to increase the speed he reviewed each person in the crowd, desperate to make it through before any harm to come to his fellow competitors. Face after face he scanned, as he ate hot dog after hot dog. And then suddenly, he found him.

Gabriel.

Castiel froze as he laid eyes on his long-lost brother.

How many millennia had it been since he had last seen him? A thousand years? Two thousand? Castiel had never known his elder brother well - after all, he was only a lesser angel, whereas Gabriel was an archangel - but all the angels knew his face. His Grace was so bright it hurt Castiel's eyes, too much divinity to have been forced in to such a small mortal form.

Castiel was never one to believe in coincidences. If Gabriel was here, then it had to serve a purpose. And the only purpose Castiel could see was that he was behind the explosive end of Mr Armstrong in Gayville. Gabriel had always had a fondness for pranks. It seemed that he had continued this during his exile on Earth.

Cas felt a rising panic in his chest. While he was ready to confront any demon, witch or vengeful spirit you put in front of him, he knew better than to confront an archangel. Despite the hint of mirth that glinted in Gabriel's eye, Castiel was all to aware that when pushed, they were the embodiment of heavenly wrath.

Castiel watched as Gabriel's vessel lifted a finger to his lips, and winked.

_I'll see you soon, little brother,_ his voice rang out through Cas' head.

And just like that, he was gone.

Cas looked over to where Dean stood, who was waving at him like a mad thing. It was obvious Dean had noticed that Cas had stopped eating, and he was wondering what was up. Cas just shook his head, and lifted another hot dog to his mouth. He reached out for another, only to find his hand come back empty. He looked down at the platter, and it was empty.

"AMAZING!" the MC's voice rang out, as a loud buzzer sounded. "For the first time in Hotdogapalooza history, an entire platter of one hundred and twenty hot dogs has been eaten, and look at him, folks! He isn't even breaking a sweat!"

Cas was surprised when the MC grabbed his arm and pulled. For the sake of appearing human, Castiel allowed him to do so.

"Everyone, let's here a great big round of applause for South Dakota's champion, and NEW WORLD RECORD HOLDER, Steve Winchester!"


	10. Chapter 10

"Oh. My. Freaking. GOD, Cas! One hundred and twenty hot dogs!" Dean exclaimed, as they drove back towards their motel. "You know what, I ain't even mad that our trouble maker never showed. That was freaking awesome!"

"It was not that impressive," Castiel insisted. "You keep forgetting, Dean, that my Grace consumes what I eat as it enters me. There is no bulk to obstruct further ingress."

"Just accept the compliment, Cas," Dean said, turning back to face the road.

"So what now?" Sam asked. "As fun as it was watching Cas scarf a hundred-odd hot dogs, and as nice as the trophy is, where does it leave us? What do we do from here."

"It is possible that what happened to Mr Armstrong was a one-time-only event," Castiel said. "Maybe whoever murdered him had a personal vendetta against him, instead of against the competitive eating circuit as a whole?"

"Yeah, maybe like a witch with a hex bag," Dean said, grabbing on to the idea.

Cas felt his Grace twist slightly around the fragment of Dean's soul, with what could only be described as guilt, as he listening to Dean prattle on about the vengeful witch theory. Cas had lied to the brothers about who was responsible for Mr Armstrong's death, but he didn't feel like he any choice but to. As strong as Sam and Dean were, they were no match for an archangel. Castiel would do anything to protect them, even if it was by lying and misdirecting them while on a hunt.

By the time they arrived back at the motel, Sam and Dean were entirely convinced that they should be heading back to Gayville to go hunt for the witch they thought killed Billy Armstrong. There was a lot of shouting back and forth between closed doors, as the brothers methodically readied themselves for bed. Cas sat on his side of the double bed that he would share with Dean, as he waited for the hunter to join him. It had been decided that given that Cas slept most nights now, that while on the road he and Dean would share a bed, because, as Dean said, Sam was too freaking huge to share a bed with anyone, let alone a six-foot-tall angel. Dean also pointed out that Cas never moved when he slept, so was far less likely to kick him out of bed than his brother was.

Sam and Dean quickly went to sleep, but for the first night in ages, Cas was unable to sleep. He sighed as he lay there, staring at the ceiling, surprised by how weird it already felt to not be lapsing into unconsciousness.

Just then, he felt something shudder through his Grace, like the celestial equivalent of a rock hitting the window.

With a flap of his wings, he was outside. And there, leaning against the Impala, was Gabriel.

"Hey, bro," he said, with a sardonic smile. "Long time no see."

"Gabriel."

"What, no hug?" Gabriel asked, pulling himself from the car and holding his arms out to the side in mocking welcome. "It's not every day you're reunited with your long-lost big brother."

"You killed that man at the hot dog eating competition," Castiel said bluntly.

"Well, duh," Gabriel said, rolling his eyes as he walked towards Cas. "I mean, did you see him? The literal embodiment of gluttony being destroyed by his own hubris. It was _hilarious_! Although I have to admit, you did a quite admirable job of that, yourself, tonight."

Gabriel walked up and grasped Castiel by the shoulder. Even in his vessel's mortal shell, Castiel could feel the vibrations of power from within Gabriel.

He watched as Gabriel's eyes widened.

"Oh, Castiel," he said, his voice forlorn. "What has happened to you?"

Cas followed Gabriel's gaze to where the patch on his Grace was. He looked up at Gabriel with defiant eyes.

"That is none of your business," he said, sounding every bit like the petulant little brother he was.

"But your Grace," he said, leaning in to get a closer look. "Is that... a human soul? Is that _Dean Winchester's_ soul?!"

"What do you know of Dean Winchester?" Cas demanded, taking a step back.

"Oh, we've met, on occasion," Gabriel supplied vaguely. "But that doesn't explain why you've got a bit of his soul."

Castiel grimaced.

"Michael obviously decided that it would be easier to recruit Dean to be his vessel if he didn't have me around as a bad influence," Castiel explained, watching as his brother's face paled. "He sent Beloniel to murder me. He nearly succeeded."

"So you gaffa taped your Grace back together with a piece of Dean Winchester's soul?" Gabriel asked, horrified.

Cas nodded.

"It was either that, or die. I chose not to die."

"But don't you see what it's doing to you?" Gabriel asked, concerned, pacing around Castiel like trying to observe the damage from every angle.

"I don't know what you mean," Castiel said. "I have not suffered any particular ill effect from it so far."

_Apart from the sleeping, and the eating_ , he thought, but didn't share that with Gabriel.

"A human's soul is pure hunger," he said. "Can't you see that it's consuming your soul and your vessel both?"

Cas looked down at his Grace, at where the piece of Dean's soul sat. He looked at how the tendrils of his Grace wove through it, as though trying to make it a part of himself. Now that he looked closer, he saw that the patch had also started attaching itself to his vessel. Castiel pulled against it gently, and found that he was firmly tethered to Jimmy Novak's form.

He looked up at his brother with panicked blue eyes.

"You are grounded, brother," Gabriel said, resting a hand against Castiel's chest. "As long as that bit of soul is in there, you are stuck in that man's body."

Cas huffed.

"That is not such a bad thing," he insisted. "Jimmy gave much for me. It would be rude to abandon his body like so much used laundry."

Gabriel shook his head.

"I don't think you understand, Cas-baby," he said. "The more you are tied to that bit of Dean-o's soul and that body, the more you are tied to their fate. That piece of soul is just gonna keep consuming you. Eventually, it's going to kill you. It's like... it's like angel cancer."

Cas felt his Grace twist.

"What can I do?" Cas asked, sounding every bit like the little brother asking for his big brother's advice.

"Cut it out before it has the chance," Gabriel said.

Cas shook his head.

"If I did that, I would die immediately."

"But you'd die and end up in heaven, where you're meant to be," Gabriel said.

"Angels don't get to go to heaven," Cas said. "At least not like humans do."

Gabriel scoffed.

"Do you honestly think Dad would give us the ability to die but only give humans the chance to go to the great Disneyland in the sky?" he challenged. "Of course angels go to heaven. But I don't think you'd be able to if you let _that_ thing get you. You'd probably end up in limbo. Don't you think a swift death would be kinder?"

Cas shook his head.

"No. I don't," he said. "Besides, you don't even truly know if that would be my fate. No angel has ever had their Grace mixed with a human soul before. You can't possibly be certain of the outcome."

"Angels have not contaminated themselves with souls for a very good reason, Castiel," he said. "I can see what it's doing to you, already. It doesn't take a genius to work out where it goes from here."

"It doesn't matter," Castiel insisted. "If my days on Earth are limited, I am going to spend them fighting while I can. I am not going to let my friends go through the Apocalypse alone."

"Friends?" Gabriel scoffed. "You think the Winchesters are your friends? What about your brothers, Castiel? Are _they_ not in need of your assistance?"

"What about _your_ brothers, Gabriel?" Cas challenged. "Michael and Lucifer. How long have you been running from your family's troubles, distracting yourself by playing with humans?"

Gabriel scowled, the air around him humming with his fury.

"Do not talk to me about family, little brother," he said, he voice dark. "You know _nothing_ of it."

There was a crack of thunder, and suddenly the tension was broken.

"Forgive me for trying to help, Castiel," Gabriel said. "God-forbid I don't want to see you die a slow and painful death. But if that's how you want to play it, fine. Enjoy getting eaten from the inside out."

Gabriel turned and stormed off a few steps, before turning.

"Oh, and just to make your death just a _teensy_ bit less painful, I'm gonna promise you that I won't go blowing up any more gluttons. Don't say I never did anything for you."

And with that, he disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUN!!!
> 
> As a side note, God, I love Gabriel! I'm gonna have to find more excuses for him to pop up during this fic.


	11. Chapter 11

Cas sat at the diner table the following morning, as he stared despondently at the plate of bacon and eggs Dean had ordered him that morning.

"Come on, Cas. Eat up," Dean said, pointing at him with his fork. "Your breakfast is getting cold."

"I'm not hungry," Castiel said, which was true enough. Even though he felt compelled to eat now, he still didn't actually experience any hunger.

Dean just shrugged, and kept shoveling his pancakes into his mouth.

Cas could feel it now, where Dean's soul had started growing into his vessel's body. He could feel the tendrils of his Grace woven through it, as much a part of it as Dean's soul was. Cas brushed his hand over the slight swell of his abdomen, and grimaced. Gabriel had been correct in his assessment that the patch would continue to grow, unregulated and unchecked, until it consumed everything that Castiel was, vessel and angel alike.

_I am going to die_ , he thought. _And it is going to be this spark of humanity that kills me._

Not that he would ever tell Dean that. 

He couldn't. 

Castiel still remembered Dean's face when he had been stabbed by Beloniel. He remembered the pure desperation written into his features. Dean had so desperately wanted to save Castiel that he had given up a piece of his soul to do so. If Dean ever found out that the sacrifice he had made to save Castiel was now killing him, Cas knew Dean would blame himself for it. It would destroy him. And if there was one thing worse than the knowledge of his impending death, it would be the thought of hurting Dean Winchester. Castiel made a vow to himself that he would try to prevent that as long as possible.

"So I guess we're headed back to Gayville today," Dean said, obviously trying to make conversation.

"Really? I thought you never left," Sam teased, earning a kick from his brother from under the table.

Cas frowned, not really understanding what the brothers were going on about.

"Ow, Dean!" Sam said, rubbing his shin. "But, yeah. We're gonna head back and look at Billy Armstrong's house and the competition venue. See if we can find any hex bags that can lead us to our witch or something."

"Let's just hope we've got a sloppy witch who doesn't clean up after themselves," Dean said.

Cas sighed, knowing that their hunt would prove fruitless. After all, it was not a witch that killed Billy Armstrong.

Cas knew he should probably tell Sam and Dean that it was Gabriel who murdered their victim, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. It wasn't even really because he feared what would happen should they go after the archangel. After all, knowing Gabriel he had probably fled to the other side of the globe by now - not because he felt like the Winchester brothers would be a threat to him, but more because he had spent far too long hiding from the host of heaven to risk Castiel telling them where he was. 

No - what Cas feared was what telling Sam and Dean about his conversation with Gabriel would raise. Sam and Dean would not understand why his brother promised to play nice with the competitive eaters, just because his little brother had asked him to. They would poke, and they would prod, and eventually Castiel would have to explain just why Gabriel felt sorry for him. He would have to explain to them that he was dying. And then he would have to explain why.

"Hey! Earth to Cas," Dean said, snapping his fingers in front of Cas' face. "What's up? Didn't you get enough sleep last night, or something?"

"I didn't sleep at all last night," he admitted. "Though I don't see what that has to do with anything."

"So you're not eating, and you're not sleeping again?" Dean asked. "Maybe the Winchester effect is wearing off, after all."

"Maybe," Cas replied, noncommittally. Cas stood from the banquette, and looked down at the brothers. "So are we going to go to Gayville, or what?"

Sam made some weird grunting noise, a slight smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. Dean just looked concerned.

"Yeah, Cas. Let's go to Gayville," he said, digging some cash out of his pocket to pay for their meals.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG 40 kudos! Thank you guys all so much for the love! 
> 
> I would love to hear what you guys think about this fic! 
> 
> I hope I'm not flipping between the absurd and the angsty too much. As I said, this is just meant to be a fun, fast fic for me to write while I'm studying. I'm literally not doing any editing, so forgive me if there's any glaring errors!

Dean had come to the conclusion that there was something seriously wrong with Cas.

He'd felt hints of it when they were in Gayville. While Cas was never the most enthusiastic of hunters, he was downright withdrawn while they hunted down and dispatched the witch responsible for Billy Armstrong's death. Dean had put it down at the time to too little sleep and too many hot dogs - because despite what Cas said, it was _not_ possible to eat _that_ many hot dogs and walk away scot-free.

But since returning to Bobby's house, things had only gotten worse. Cas had been distracted, spending his days meandering around the house as though he was looking for purpose. On the few small hunts they had been on over the past couple months, Cas had been rushed and impatient. 

Cas's appearance had also started to suffer. Initially it was just that he was walking around with bedhead (which was not something Dean would usually complain about), his traditional clothes of suit, tie and trench coat unkempt. By the time he started wearing an old pair of jeans and t-shirt around the house, Dean was fully aware something was horribly wrong.

If Dean was not so emotionally constipated, he would have mentioned something before now. But instead he had watched as his angel had deteriorated in front of his eye, terrified by what he was seeing, yet too scared to try and stop it.

Cas was sitting on the couch, looking pensively over a book. That ugly, oversized shirt from Hotdogapalooza had made another appearance, swimming over Cas' lean form.

"Hey, Cas. Whatcha doing?" Dean asked, coming to sit on the arms rest near where Cas sat.

"Reading," he replied.

"...Okay," Dean said, running a slightly frustrated hand through his hair. " _What_ are you reading?"

Cas grimaced, and shut the book.

"It's not of import," he said, standing and placing the book back in the bookshelf. 

Dean's brows furrowed.

"What is up with you these days, anyway, Cas?" Dean demanded, standing to join Cas where he stood by the bookshelf.

"Nothing is 'up' with me, Dean."

"Bullshit," Dean snapped. "You've been nothing short of mopey for the past month. I didn't even know angels could get mopey. What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong," he insisted.

"You're lying."

Cas looked at Dean for a moment with those soulful blue eyes of his.

"You are the one that told me that sometimes it is better to lie."

Cas tried to turn and walk away, but Dean grabbed his arm and pulled. Cas allowed himself to be pulled towards Dean, until they were standing chest to chest. For someone who had always complained about personal space, Dean was far too comfortable having Cas this close.

"Jesus, Cas. Talk to me," he said. "How am I meant to help if I don't know what's wrong?"

Cas looked into Dean's eyes, and took a deep breath in. He watched as the emotions played out across Cas' face, until he finally relented.

"I'm dying, Dean," Cas said.

Dean felt like he'd been punched in the chest.

"What?"

"I'm dying," Cas repeated. "Probably fairly soon, if recent predictors are anything to go by."

"But... why? How?" Dean demanded.

A sad smile came to Cas' face, as he guided Dean's hand to his abdomen. Dean was surprised when he felt the swell there, looking back up at Cas' face.

"What the Hell..."

"It's your soul, Dean," Cas explained. "It does not know how to integrate with my Grace, so it is consuming everything. That includes this mortal vessel I'm inhabiting."

"You're saying my soul is... eating you?" Dean asked.

Dean was horrified when Cas nodded.

"It is fairly analogous to the cancer you humans suffer from," he said.

No, no, no. This was all wrong. Dean had given up a part of his soul to _save_ Cas, and now it was killing him? What sort of cosmic joke was that?

"There's gotta be something we can do," Dean insisted. "Like... remove it or something. You said so yourself - your Grace recovered. You wouldn't need the patch now to keep yourself from dying."

"Dean, your soul has formed a tumour from a mix of itself, my Grace, and the physical tissue of my vessel. If I were to remove it, it would leave a far greater hole than the one created by Beloniel's blade," he explained softly.

Dean hated that Cas said the words like he was trying to make _Dean_ feel better. Because wasn't that always the way? Even when Cas was the one dying, he was still trying to protect Dean. 

"Then we cut it out, and patch your Grace with something else," Dean insisted.

Cas smiled ruefully.

"The hole would be bigger than could be patched by your soul, Dean," Cas pointed out. "Besides, the same thing would just happen again."

"Screw my soul," Dean snapped. "We'll find something else. How about... how about an angel's Grace? You said all this happened cause my stupid soul didn't know how to integrate with your Grace. Surely if we patched you with the Grace of another angel, it could cohabitate. Right?"

Dean was desperate. He knew he was, grasping at Cas' arms like somehow if he held tight enough, Cas would stay with him. But he just couldn't bear the thought of Cas dying. He was a Goddamn angel! He was meant to be eternal! There was no way Dean should outlive him.

"No angel would donate their Grace to fix mine," Cas said, sadly. "I'm fallen, remember, Dean?"

"But..."

"No, Dean," Cas said. "Please. I'm so tired. I just... I don't want to spend my last days fighting when there is no chance of success. Please, don't make me."

"...But I can't lose you, Cas," Dean said, his voice hoarse.

Dean watched as Cas shut his eyes, as though Dean's words physically pained him. Dean reached up and grabbed Castiel's face, forcing him to open his eyes to look at him.

"You will never lose me, Dean Winchester," Cas said. "Even when I am gone, there will always be a part of me with you."

He reached out and placed his hand over where he had branded Dean when he saved him from Hell. His skin burned where they touched.

A million thoughts rushed through Dean's head, and yet he could find no words. He remained silent for a few fretful moments, before he let his body say the words that he couldn't.

Dean pressed his lips to Castiel's own, and he was surprised when Cas didn't push him away. Dean shut his eyes, as hot, frustrated tears ran down his cheeks.

_I love you,_ he thought. _Goddamn it, I love you._

And the way Cas reached up to cup Dean's face with his hand, as their lips slowly moved together, spelt out the words that Cas didn't say in return.

_I know._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG THE FEELS!!!
> 
> Sorry about the Star Wars reference at the end. Thought Dean would appreciate it, though, if he wasn't being such an angsty shit right now.


	13. Chapter 13

While Dean lay in bed that night, three things became clear to him.

1) He was in love with Castiel.

2) He had been for a long time now.

and, 3) He was _not_ going to let him die.

It all became so clear, when Dean had reached out to meet Castiel's mouth with his own. Their 'profound bound' was more than just the imprint from when Castiel saved them from Hell, it was love. And now that Dean had realised just how much he had come to care for his resident angel, there was no way in Hell he was going to let him go.

Dean and Cas had spent the afternoon talking - _really_ talking. About life and death, about love and hope and fear. It was the closest Dean had ever felt to another person - even including Sam. Dean had laughed and agreed when Cas asked if they could go to Disneyland. Hell, he even suggested they go on a road trip together, see all those sights that made America America, that Cas had never had a chance to experience. And if their road trip just happened to take them through Las Vegas, where was the harm? After all, what was Las Vegas, other than Disneyland for adults.

It was obvious that Cas thought their road trip would be a farewell tour, and in a way, it was going to be - just not for him.

Dean had been thinking on the issue of Cas' 'cancer', and the more he thought on it, the more he became convinced that they could use an angel's Grace to plug the hole created by it's removal. The only problem was, the way Cas described it was that the bigger the hole, the more Grace would be needed to plug it. The fact that Cas remained a persona non grata with his kin also hindered their options on which angel to make a bandaid from. It was lucky for Dean, then, that there was an obvious option.

Dean was the Michael Sword, and Michael would do just about anything for the opportunity to jump in Dean's pants so he could duke it out with his little brother. Dean was fairly sure that given Michael was an archangel, he'd have enough Grace to spare to fix Cas, and as long as Dean decided to hand over his meat suit in exchange for the angel's life, and the promised ongoing safety of Cas, Sam and Bobby, he was pretty sure Michael would go for the deal. 

Dean figured that seeming Lucifer had yet to inhabit his perfect vessel, that had to give Michael a good chance at beating him and saving the world. He felt good about the fact that his sacrifice might save the world for the people he loved, even if he ended up as a vegetable at the end of it.

Of course, he couldn't let Cas know his plans. He knew if Cas ever worked out his plan, he would try to stop it. And given that it was pretty clear that this was Dean's only chance at saving Cas, he wasn't going to let Cas ruin it.

Dean didn't know how long he lay in his bed for, staring at the ceiling, but no matter how hard he tried, he could not fall asleep. He couldn't ignore the ticking in his head, counting down his time remaining as Dean Winchester. Every second that he spent in bed felt like a second wasted.

Dean swore and pulled himself from his sheets, before walking down the hall to where they had set up Cas' own room. He opened the door and walked in, to find the angel asleep in his single bed. 

Dean didn't hesitate as he crossed the room and joined the angel in bed, wrapping his body around Cas and holding him tight. Cas just snuggled backwards into Dean's arms. Dean sighed, as he finally felt his body start to relax and shut his eyes. 

_I am doing this for him,_ Dean reminded himself. _If only he can survive, this will all be worth it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, yes. Exposition. After all, what good is a story if you don't understand the character's motivation. And hey, I've actually remembered there's an Apocalypse going on, so there's that.
> 
> I'd really love to hear what you guys think so far! 
> 
> To be honest, I really have to stop with the procrastinating and focusing on my study more, but I'm just enjoying writing this way too much.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Smut ahead!

Dean didn't waste any time on Operation Roadtrip. As soon as Cas woke the following morning, he told the angel to pack because they were heading off. Not that Cas actually had anything to pack, but it gave Dean a good excuse to leave Cas and go explain to Sam and Bobby that he was pissing off for awhile.

"What do you mean, you're taking Cas to Disneyland?" Bobby asked, as though it was some kind of euphemism.

"Just that," Dean said. "Cas wants to go to Disneyland, so we're going."

"In case you haven't noticed, you great eedjit, there's an Apocalypse going on," Bobby pointed out.

"Oddly enough, Bobby, it hasn't escaped my attention," Dean said. "But in case _you_ haven't noticed, all's been a little bit quiet on that front recently. Surely you guys can see that Cas has been in a bad way since the Fall. God forbid I try to cheer the guy up before the world comes to an end."

Sam just stared at Dean, with that look on his face that told him he didn't believe him.

"Besides, the dude's an angel," Dean continued. "If Lucifer should suddenly start arcing up, Cas can just zap us back here. You guys can hold the fort and keep an eye out, so what's the problem?"

"I think Dean's right," Sam said. "He and Cas should get away for awhile."

"...The Hell?" Bobby asked, obviously not expecting Sam to take Dean's side.

"Well, God only knows how many more quiet days we have left," Sam said. "Probably a good idea not to waste them. Besides, we don't need all four of us here, holding the fort. Let him take the angel out and show him a bit of the world we're trying to save."

"Thanks, Sammy," Dean said, slapping him on the shoulder.

With Sam on his side, there was nothing Bobby could do to prevent Dean and his angel from leaving. Dean convinced Sam to help Cas pack some supplies into the Impala for the road trip - mostly snacks and topping up the salt and holy water in the boot - while he went and packed his own bags. It was amazing how automatic it was, for Dean to throw his clothes and belongings into a gym bag. He finished packing less than five minutes after he started. The only thing he had to do was grab the book and hex bag he kept hidden under his bag, filled with the things he needed to summon Michael.

Bobby was surprised when Dean gave him a tight hug before he left. Dean was more surprised when he felt how tightly Sam squeezed him when it was his turn.

"Don't do anything stupid," Sam said as parting words, before Dean and Cas hopped into the Impala and headed out.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been a long day by the time they pulled in to the outskirts of Denver that evening. And yet, it had been one of the more peaceful days of Castiel's existence. 

It was a rare thing for Castiel to find himself alone with Dean. To be alone together, and not off on a mission or running for their lives was a unique experience. Cas had felt content just to ride shotgun with the hunter, watching as mile upon mile passed them by as Dean's hand, for some reason, kept finding his between gear changes. If it weren't for the knowledge of why they were going on this particular roadtrip, Cas would have described the day as perfect. And for a being that had lived as long as Castiel had, it was sad to realise how few perfect days he had had.

Dean chose a motel on the outskirts of Denver for them to stay in that night, much like any of the ones Cas knew the brothers had frequented during their many hunts. Dean insisted on carrying his bag and the small bag Cas had brought in for him, dumping them on the closest of the two single beds that filled the room. Cas felt strangely disappointed as he registered their sleeping arrangements. After he had woken up in Dean's arms unexpectedly that morning, Cas had to admit, he was hoping for something else.

"So, whatcha wanna do for dinner, Cas?" Dean asked, sitting on the end of one of the beds. "Eat out? Take away?"

He leaned across to the bedside table, to ruffle through the takeout menus that littered it.

"Hey, pizza," Dean said. "Remind me - have you tried pizza yet, Cas?"

"I'm happy with whatever you pick, Dean," Cas said. "I'm not particularly hungry."

"...Okay," Dean said, putting the menus down. "I guess dinner can wait. So what do you want to do? Your wish is my command, buddy."

Cas sat down on the other bed, looking away from Dean.

"Do you remember the last time we travelled alone, Dean?" he asked.

"Well, yeah. We went and hunted down Raphael, to see if he could tell us where the Big Daddy was hiding," Dean said.

"Do you remember what we did the night before?"

Dean chuckled.

"I tried to get you laid," Dean said.

Cas couldn't help the smile that ghosted his lips.

"You told me that you weren't going to let me die a virgin," Cas said. "Well, I _am_ dying now, and that condition still hasn't been rectified."

Dean turned to look at Cas, his brows furrowed.

"...You want me to take you to a brothel?" he asked, sounding vaguely affronted.

Cas shook his head.

"No, Dean," Cas said. "I realised that evening that I would never be one of those people who saw sex as a physical pursuit. I believe if I were to engage in such conduct, it would have to be someone who I felt a deep spiritual connection with."

Cas cleared his throat, feeling about as subtle as a brick.

"After last night," he said, "I think it's clear that the only person I share such a connection with is you."

"Oh," Dean said. " _Oh_."

Cas watched as the realisation dawned on Dean's face that he had just been propositioned. He watched as Dean straightened himself where he sat, uncomfortably.

"I...uh..." Dean said, rubbing the back of his neck. "...Are you sure? I mean, do you feel up to it? What with being sick and all..."

Cas nodded.

"It is something I have wanted for quite some time," Cas said. "But if you don't want to, please don't make me feel like I'm forcing this on you..."

"No!" Dean insisted, shifting himself onto Cas' bed and grabbing his arm. "God, no. You're not forcing this on me. I just thought that given everything, you might not be up to it."

Cas reached up to stroke Dean's neck.

"I have never wanted something so badly in my whole existence," Cas said, smiling shyly. "Well, apart from when you kissed me. I wanted _that_ very badly, indeed. But I do want, this, Dean. And I want it with you. I want to feel all facets of humanity before I die, and I want you to show me how."

Well, how could Dean say no to that?

Dean leaned in and kissed Castiel gently on the lips, the mattress squeaking as he leaned in to deepen the kiss.

"I love you, Cas," Dean said, when he pulled away.

"I love you, too, Dean," Cas said.

It was amazing the thrill he felt to be able to say that out loud.

Dean reached over to lift the hem of Castiel's shirt and pull it over his head. Cas grimaced as he looked down at his vessel's abdomen, where the once flat lines of his stomach had been distorted by the tumour in his Grace. Dean placed a finger under Cas' chin, to distract him from it as much as it was to bring Cas' lips to his once more. Cas felt his own hands reach out to try and undress the hunter. It was slightly more difficult, as he tried to shift the flannel shirt from Dean's shoulders, and it caught where Dean had rolled up the sleeves. Cas felt Dean laugh against his lips, as he helped Cas by shrugging out of his shirt, pushing Cas down onto the bed so he could straddle him and remove his own t-shirt. Cas felt his Grace start to thrum in his chest, as he had flashbacks to that first dream he had, all those months ago.

"Are you blushing?" Dean asked, amused, as he knelt over Castiel. "I didn't know angels could blush."

Cas felt himself grimace.

"It seems that particular human trait has also rubbed off on me," he conceded.

"Did you want something else to rub off on you?" Dean asked, teasingly, waggling his eyebrows suggestively, before he leaned in to kiss Castiel again.

This kiss was different to the ones Dean and Cas had shared previously. It was not gentle or hesitant, but urgent. Cas felt his chest begin to rise and fall as Dean's did, harsh breathing sending waves of energy through him as he tried to keep up with the movement of Dean's lips with his. He groaned when Dean snagged his bottom lip between his teeth and tugged.

"...Dean..."

"You're wearing too much clothes," Dean murmured, rubbing his stubbled chin against Cas' own.

Cas groaned when he felt Dean rub his crotch against his, and yes, it was abundantly clear to him that they were wearing too many clothes. And with that thought, they were gone.

Dean pulled away when he suddenly became naked, looking down at Castiel with a question in his eyes.

"I may be dying, but I'm still an angel," Cas teased. "Now, please. Come back here."

Cas reached up and pulled Dean to himself, forcing his tongue into his mouth like he wanted to crawl inside him.

It was amazing the change the lack of clothing made, as long-ignored parts of his vessel's anatomy suddenly became very hard to ignore. Cas groaned and arched his back as Dean rubbed his crotch against his, their semi-erect appendages connecting in such a delicious dance of friction that it sent waves through Cas' body.

"I don't," Dean panted, in the brief moments their mouths weren't connected. "I don't know what to do... I've never... I've never been gay before..."

Cas could have laughed, but just then Dean leaned down to bite his neck. Like Castiel had any better idea what to do?

"Just don't stop," was the only reply he could think of.

So Dean didn't. Together they ran on instinct, their bodies rubbing and bucking involuntarily against the other until they found some rhythm with the other. Every nerve in Castiel's vessel sang where it touched the hunter. There was just so much sensation, and Cas couldn't help but think the reason why it was so intense was because his Grace had now been firmly tethered to this physical form. Or it could have just been because it was with Dean.

Cas felt something building inside him, a ball of heat and energy and _oh, God, that feels good_. He felt his rhythm with Dean begin to falter, as the hunter grasped his hips desperately as he ground himself into Cas, his breath hitching. But that sensation kept building and building, until he couldn't contain it any longer.

"Dean!" Castiel cried, his name on his lips like a prayer, as the dam within him finally broke. Wave upon wave of ecstasy poured through his body, as something warm and sticky ejected from himself. It was only a couple of thrusts later when Dean joined him, collapsing on him in a heap as he shuddered with the aftershocks of his orgasm.

"I love you, Cas," Dean groaned, through his post-orgasm haze, burying his face in his angel's shoulder. "God, Cas. I love you."

Cas knew Dean couldn't see him, but he hoped Dean could feel his smile, as he reached up to rest a hand on his lover's head. Cas was covered in sweat and spit and other mysterious bodily fluids, but all he could feel was bliss, as he shut his eyes and kissed Dean's head.

It was a shame this moment had taken so long to reach. It was a bigger shame to know this moment could never last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um... wow. Looks like I'm going to have to check what rating system I'm in again.


	15. Chapter 15

Dean was surprised when he woke the next morning to find Cas sitting in front of the TV, staring with concentration at the screen. Dean rubbed a tired hand through his hair and got out of bed, wandering over to where the angel sat to see what he was watching.

"Hey, Cas. What are you... OH MY GOD!"

Dean is stunned when he sees two naked men on screen, engaged in an act that was _definitely_ costing him some money on pay per view. 

"Good morning, Dean," Cas said, still not averting his eyes from the screen. "Did you sleep well?"

"What the Hell are you watching?!" Dean exclaimed.

"Pornography," Cas replied, as if that was the most obvious thing in the world to be doing while your partner slept in another bed. "You mentioned last night that you had no idea how homosexual sex worked. I thought I would research the subject while you were unconscious."

"You... you thought..." Dean stammered.

Goddamn, it. How could Cas concentrate when there were two men covered in oil rolling around naked on screen?

"Cas, you can't just go around watching gay porn while you're in a room with another dude," Dean said, grabbing the remote and turning the TV off.

"Why not?" Cas asked. "I found it to be very informative."

"You just can't! Okay?" Dean said. "It's a rule."

"Would it be any different if it were heterosexual pornography?" Cas asked.

"No, Cas," Dean said. "All porn is a no-go when someone else is in the room with you... unless you ask first."

"Okay, so I'll ask," Cas said. "Would you like to watch homosexual pornography with me?"

"No, I would not like to watch homosexual pornography with you!" he exclaimed, running a hand through his hair as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"I don't understand why this seems to be such a great concern to you," Cas said. "After all, last night we were attempting something relatively similar."

"Fuck, I don't know," Dean said, rubbing the corner of his eye to relieve some of the tension. "I was just surprised, okay?"

"About the pornography or about us?" Cas asked.

Dean's head snapped up to look at Cas.

"About the porn, Cas," Dean insisted. "Not about... us."

Cas just stared at him.

"Look, I gotta admit this whole thing is still a bit... weird," Dean admitted. "I know I love you, but I never thought that I'd ever want to have sex with a dude. I never really saw myself as gay, you know?"

"Dean, you do realise I'm not actually 'a dude', as you put it," Cas supplied.

"What? So you're actually a lady angel hiding out in a dude?" Dean asked.

"Angels don't have a gender, Dean," Cas pointed out. "There is no need for it, given that we are immortal so have no need to procreate to continue our race."

"So in other words, you're saying that you're junkless," Dean said.

"In my celestial form, yes," Cas said. "I only currently possess genitalia because my vessel does so."

"...So does this mean angels don't have sex?" Dean asked.

"Not with other angels, no," Cas admitted. "Although they have been known to have physical relations with humans while in possession of a vessel. It was how the nephilim occurred."

Dean just nodded.

"...Does the fact that that you are not attracted to men mean that you are not able to be sexually attracted to me?" Cas asked.

"Fuck - no, Cas!" Dean insisted, gripping Cas' hand with his own. "Of course I'm attracted to you in that way. Jeesh - wasn't that pretty obvious last night? It's just that you're the only dude - or dude looking person - that I'm attracted to. Consider me... Cassexual, okay?"

Cas nodded thoughtfully.

"So you would like to engage in further sexual relations with me?" Cas asked, after a moment.

Dean laughed.

"Yeah, Cas. I'd like to screw you some more," Dean said. "But can it wait until after breakfast?"

Dean couldn't help but feeling a little warm and fuzzy from the shit-eating grin that came to Cas' face. Dean couldn't help himself when he leaned forward and kissed Cas. The way Cas almost purred in response to feeling Dean's lips on his definitely didn't help the warm-fuzzies, and Dean suddenly found himself not so concerned about his feelings towards his current sexual orientation.

Cas was the one to pull away.

"I think we need to go eat breakfast - _now_ ," Cas insisted.

Dean laughed.

"Yeah, Cas. Let's go eat some breakfast."

\-------------------------------------------------

Dean watched Cas, across the table from him, sipping on his coffee, and smiled. He watched the way his lips moved, red and moist, over the lip of the cup and couldn't help but think that barely an hour ago, those lips had been on his.

It was bittersweet, thinking about Cas in this way. Ever since Dean first kissed Cas two days ago, all he could think about was how right it felt. It didn't seem fair that what they had now was not going to be able to last long, especially given how much time they had both wasted up to this point.

"Dean, are the pancakes okay?" Cas asked. "You have stopped eating."

"Oh... what?" Dean said, looking back down at his plate. "Yeah, no, Cas. The pancakes are great."

"Then hurry up and finish eating, then," Cas instructed, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. 

Dean smiled, and lifted a fork full of pancake to his mouth. After all, who was he to argue?

Just then, Dean's cell started to ring. He looked down, and saw it was Sam ringing.

"Hey, Sammy," Dean said, answering the phone.

"Hey Dean," he replied. "How's the road trip going?"

"Oh, I'd say pretty good, so far," Dean said. "We're already in Denver. Hopefully we'll get to the border with Arizona by this evening, so we can get to the Grand Canyon tomorrow."

"Awesome," Sam said. "Look - I was wondering if you and Cas would mind taking a little detour? There's been a couple strange deaths in a town that's kinda on your way, and I was hoping you guys could check it out."

"That sounds dangerously close to you asking me to interrupt Cas' road trip for a case, Sammy," Dean warned.

Cas stared at Dean from his side of the table.

"You know I wouldn't ask unless it's important."

Dean sighed.

"Okay, Sammy. Hit me. What's the case?"

"A young couple ate each other after their first date."

"...Wait. Ate each other?"

"As in took large bites out of each other until they bled to death," Sam explained.

"Jesus," Dean said. "Yeah. Okay. That's weird. Okay, so tell me where we're headed?"

Dean sighed, and hung up the phone.

"Sorry, Cas. But looks like we're gonna have to put the road trip on hold for a couple days. Baby bro found us a case."

Cas nodded mutely, but didn't look surprised.

"Hey, at least it gives us something to do for Valentines Day," Dean insisted. 

"I already had something I wanted to do," Cas said. "Well... Someone."

Dean nearly choked on his pancake. Cas smiled, and winked deliberately at Dean.

Trust his angel to develop a sense of humour now...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I think it's about time I address my thoughts on Destiel in this fic.
> 
> I know in a lot of fics, as soon as Dean and Cas hook up, they're suddenly having mind-blowing gay sex, but for me, this has never been an entirely believable development.
> 
> Let's face it - Cas is an angel, who up until only about 18mo before this, had never even _been_ inside a human body. Given the fact that his lifespan is (usually) measured in eons as opposed to months, it's going to take him time to learn how to use his body and connect with it in a physical way, especially seeming that he has only just recently decided that maybe being human is not so bad.
> 
> Besides, Cas is also strictly a virgin at the point in time where this fic is set, which is briefly after Dean brings Cas to a brothel and he completely wigs out. Think about it - how many of us at that point of our sexual development were ready to go and act in a porno? Anyone?
> 
> So Cas is going to take time to learn about his sexuality, and he's going to be damned confused while he does it. 
> 
> As for Dean, whilst I've definitely never ascribed to him a purely heterosexual identity (let's face it, that man is about as straight as a circle), I do believe he tends to sail down the river Denial. Despite what attractions he's felt towards men in his life, I'm sure he's always ignored them up to this point, and he's going to take some time to work out that he appreciates Cas' male form, not just Cas himself. But don't worry - he's sure to get there!
> 
> This is also my first time writing smut, and I am lacking certain pieces of anatomy that are used here, so please bear with me. I'm trying!
> 
> Oh, and I'd also like to assure you guys that I am a HUGE fan of happy endings, so please bear with me whilst it's all a little bit angsty. Knowing me, it will probably get better.
> 
> Okay - that's it! Chat over! Sorry for unloading that on you guys, but I thought it was a good idea to actually get my thoughts and motivations down while I had them. As I've said, I'm writing this as very much an in-the-moment fic. No planning, no editing, no regrets.
> 
> I'd really love to hear your thoughts so far! As nice as the kudos is, I'd love to hear some opinions. Tell me what you need to see happen!


	16. Chapter 16

Dean felt lucky that he thought to bring his FBI suit and fake IDs along with him on their road trip. He felt even luckier that he had thought to bring two.

It turned out there was a very good reason why Cas had swapped from his standard Cas outfit of suit, tie and trench to jeans and a t-shirt - he no longer fit them. Cas had tried to get back into them, when they got changed at the motel before heading over to the coroner's office, but his pants were not even interested in being done up, and the less that could be said about the way his shirt buttons strained across his stomach like a fat man in a cheap suit, the better.

It was just as well that Dean was on the broader side. He loaned him his spare pants and dress shirt (as a hunter, you always learned to bring a spare change of clothes), and both mercifully managed to fit. Paired with Cas' jacket and trench, he looked almost passable. As long as you didn't look too close, you didn't notice that his pants and jacket were different colours.

If Sam were here, they would have split up to canvas the crime scene and the morgue at the same time. But Cas was still very much on his training wheels when it came to investigating, and Dean wasn't going to risk him going off and doing something weird like licking a heart or announcing that demons murdered their victims, so for now, they'd have to go slow and go it together.

Which was how they ended up at the morgue with Dr Corman, to examine the bodies.

"FBI?" Dr Corman asked, squinting at their badges. "You guys sure are quick. Only finished the autopsies an hour ago."

Cas and Dean looked at each other.

"I thought the young couple that went to town on each other happened a few days ago?" Dean asked. "Why are you only getting the bodies now?"

"Oh! I thought you were here about the murder/suicide," he said. "One of our local businesses had an employee and his girlfriend go postal. Shot one of his colleagues before they shot themselves. Very sad. Turns out, Romeo and Juliet had only been dating for about a week."

"You know what, doc? How about while we're here, you let us look over their bodies, too. Saves us having to send a second team down to investigate," Dean said.

"Hey, have at it," the doctor said, pulling his hat and coat from the rack. "Most of them are already in tupperware containers. Just remember to put them back in the fridge when you're done."

Cas and Dean enter the morgue on their own, Cas making a beeline for the fridge where the boxed entrails of their victims were kept. Dean headed over to the corpse cabinet, opening a door and pulling out the tray that contained one of their victim's bodies.

"Holy shit," Dean said, looking down at the mutilated corpse of a young woman. "Sammy wasn't kidding when he said she was what they were having for dinner."

Dean looks up and Cas, and finds him manhandling the heart of one of the victims. Dean grimaced, wondering if he should remind Cas next time to put on gloves before handing human organs.

"Dean, come and have a look at this," Cas said, holding out the heart to Dean.

"What, Cas? You asking to be my valentine?" he teased.

Cas tilted his head in that way he did when confused, and Dean felt his stomach flip.

"I was asking if you could see the sigil branded into this man's heart," he said, waving the heart at Dean.

Dean leaned in, and saw a very small mark right beneath the victim's left atria.

"What is that?" Dean asked.

"It's Enochian," Cas explained. "It's a mark of union. This man and woman were intended to mate."

"Okay," Dean said. "So who put that there?"

"Well... Your people call them cupid," Cas said.

"Wait... Cupid?"

"They're actually a lower order of angel - technically it's a cherub, third class."

"...Cherub?"

"Yes. They're actually all over the world, dozens of them," Cas said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"...You mean the little flying fat kid in diapers?" Dean clarified.

"...They're not incontinent," Cas said. "But this is bad - very bad. If a cupid has gone rogue, we need to stop him before he kills again."

"Hey, no arguments from me, Cas," Dean said. "So how do we go about catching a cupid?"

"Same way you go about catching anything, Dean," Cas said. "We go hunting."

So that was how Dean and Cas found themselves going out on their first date, on Valentines Day, of all days.

Dean and Cas sat at a table in a restaurant, complete with bright red table cloth and candles in a room filled with heart shaped decorations, as Cas scoped out the room for a cupid. Dean had expected himself to feel embarrassed, being so publicly out with a dude, but somehow that wasn't the case. Maybe it was because he had convinced himself that they were actually out hunting, rather than on a date. Or maybe it was just because he was out with Cas, and it was getting harder and harder for that to feel wrong.

"Hey, Cas," Dean said, trying to catch Cas' attention as he scanned the room. "Try to look a bit more happy to be here."

Cas sighed, reaching out to grab Dean's hand with his own.

"I'm sorry," he said. "But the whole purpose of this outing is to find a cupid. Had you wanted to engage in more intercourse, you could have declined Sam's request that we go on this hunt."

"You're a real poet, you know that, Cas," Dean said, rolling his eyes.

"Shh," Cas said, squeezing Dean's hand. "I've found him. There. Meet me in the back."

And with that, Cas disappeared.

Dean left a handful of bills on the table, before heading out back, to find Cas standing with his hand outstretched.

"...Cas?"

"I have him tethered," Cas explained, not turning to look at Dean. " _Zo-dah-kah-mah-mah-ran-mah_. Manifest yourself."

Dean was surprised when large arms grabbed him from behind.

"What the Hell?!"

"Relax, Dean," Cas warned. "It's just the cupid."

"...Just the cupid?" Dean asked.

"Hey, Dean!" it said, still squeezing Dean tightly as it jiggled.

"Why is it hugging me?" Dean asked.

"It's how they say hello," Cas explained.

"I don't like it."

"No one likes it."

"Castiel!" the cupid announced, releasing Dean to scoop Castiel up into a hug of his own. It was only then that Dean realised that the cupid was naked. "What can I do you for, brother?"

"Why are you doing this?" Cas demanded, when the cupid released him.

"...Doing what?" he asked, tilting his head to one side eerily like Castiel does.

"Killing your charges," Castiel said. "The ones that you mark."

Dean watched as the cupid's face paled.

"What?" he asked, looking horrified. "My charges are dead? You have to know, brother, that I would never do such a thing. I love my charges."

He walked up to Castiel, wrapping his arms around his neck and started to cry. As much as Dean had not liked the cupid hugging him, it turned out he liked him hugging Castiel even less.

"You have to believe I would never do something like that, brother," the cupid insisted. "Hey, read my mind, and you'll see for yourself."

Castiel pushed the cupid away to arms length, and looked steadily into his eyes. It turned out Dean liked Castiel staring at the cupid even less than he liked him hugging him. Finally, Cas' concentration broke, and he looked up at Dean.

"He's telling the truth," Cas ceded.

"Of course I'm telling the truth!" he insisted "I love love. Why would I harm those that I bring it to?"

"I believe you," Cas said.

"Great!" the cupid announced. "So now I can leave you two lovebirds alone for your romantic evening."

"Wait - does that mean you mojo'd us?" Dean asked, brows snapping together suspiciously.

The cupid laughed.

"Don't be silly," it said, waving it's hand. "I didn't have to. If I tried to add any extra love here, well.. BOOM!"

The cupid emulated an explosion with his hands, giggling.

"Besides, my Gift doesn't work on angels, silly," the cupid said. "You guys have managed this one all on your own."

For some reason, that made Dean feel a bit better.

"So go on!" it insisted, making shooing motions at them. "Go have some fun!"

Dean couldn't help but smile at the cupid's enthusiasm. He walked over to Cas and grabbed him by the hand, pleasantly surprised by the warm shiver that rushed up his arm in response. It was all the better for knowing that the feeling was his alone, not something forced on him by the angel of love.

"Come on, Cas. The cupid is right," he said. "This case can wait until tomorrow. Come have dinner with me."

Dean felt a rush of warmth, when his smile was matched by Cas' own.

"Okay," Cas ceded. "Let me be your valentine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooray for trying to link up this story into the show's timeline! I know it seems lazy to borrow large plot points from _My Bloody Valentine_ , but it's actually really hard conforming to someone else's story! But I thought it was important to ground this story in the timeline, and meeting up with Famine seemed like too big a moment for them to miss. Besides, how fun is it Dean and Cas encountering a cupid when they've only just hooked up?


	17. Chapter 17

Dean sat across the table from Castiel, watching him as he ate his fettuccini carbonara.

Well, while he was _supposed_ to be eating it. Cas seemed more concerned with staring at his lap than he did eating the romantic Valentine's day meal Dean would be paying for.

"Hey, Cas. You gonna eat that?" Dean asked, pointing his fork at Cas' meal.

"I'm sorry," Castiel said, still not raising his eyes. "I'm just a bit distracted by my erection."

Dean nearly spat out his beer.

"Cas!" he snapped, hoping the other diners didn't hear.

"I just don't understand why I have one now," he continued, unbothered. "And for some reason my skin feels all tingly."

Cas shifted uncomfortably. Dean had to reach out and grab Cas' arm, before he started rearranging himself in public. Cas' eyes snapped up to meet Dean's in response to his touch, his mouth forming a surprised little 'o' shape as his breathing started to race.

" Dean," Cas practically growled. "That is making it worse."

"Sorry, Cas," Dean said, pulling his arm back. "But you can't go around touching yourself in public."

"How do I make it go away?" Cas asked, clearly distressed.

The table moved slightly from the shift of Cas' legs, as he instinctively tried to apply some friction.

"Not here!" Dean said, grabbing his wallet as he waived the waiter over. "Just... Hold still for a minute. Okay? Don't mention your... problem again til we're out in the car."

Cas just nodded, pressing his lips together tightly as Dean pressed some bills into his hand to pay for their meal. Dean looked around the room, before spotting something.

"Wait here," he instructed.

Dean left Cas alone at the table, while he went over to the corner, where a man had set himself up selling flowers and gifts for Valentine's day. He spotted a toy gorilla holding a love heart and grimaced. That would probably be fit for his purpose.

Dean paid for the gorilla and headed back to Cas, shoving it into his hands.

"Here," he said.

Cas tilted his head to the side, clearly confused.

"Use it to cover your... you know," Dean said, waving vaguelly in the direction of Cas' crotch. "That way we can get to the Impala without anyone spotting it."

Cas just nodded, standing stiffly as he held the gorilla in front of the offending part of his anatomy. Dean couldn't help but smirk as he watched Cas walk awkwardly out of the restaurant, gorilla placed suspiciously in front of his legs.

"I thought cupids couldn't mojo angels," Dean said, when they were safely within the confines of the Impala.

" They can't," Cas insisted. "This is not of their doing."

"What? So you're just _really_ happy to see me?"

Dean tried to go for a joking tone, but inside he felt slightly panicked. Yup. Still not completely used to the idea of being gay for angel.

Cas shook his head.

"This is something else," he insisted. "Regardless of what attraction I feel for you, I should be able to retain complete control over this vessel, and I currently don't." 

Dean didn't understand why he felt slightly disappointed to hear that.

"I find my current state greatly discomforting," Cas said, rearranging himself in his seat. "What can I do to fix this?"

"Not in the car," Dean insisted. "Look - let's just get back to the motel, and you can fix it there."

"Hurry," Cas insisted.

Dean turned this ignition, and relished in the sound of the Impala purring to life, before driving back to the motel.

" Okay - we're here," Cas grunted, starting to sound desperate by now. "What do we do?"

"Uh... What do _you_ do," Dean clarified, wondering just how he was going to explain the concept of masturbation to an angel.

God, he was going to go back to Hell for this.

"Look, all you do is kinda what we did last night, but to yourself," he explained. "Use your hand to generate friction. Eventually it'll get better. Like last night."

Cas glared up at Dean.

"Why can't you help like last night?" he asked.

"Cause I'm not in the mood," Dean said. "Oddly enough, I don't find weird magical possession boners a turn on."

Cas grunted.

"But I _want_ you to," Cas groaned, and Dean would be damned if that growl didn't have some sort of effect on him.

"...Goddamnit," Dean said, coming to sit by Cas on his bed. " Okay, unzip your pants and let's see the damage."

"That's not very romantic, Dean," Cas said.

Dean laughed.

"Yeah, well, this isn't very romantic, is it?" he countered.

Cas just grunted again, reaching down to undo his pants and release his tumescent penis. Dean felt himself hiss with sympathy. Cas' penis had turned a horrible purple colour, from being far too erect for far too long. If anything was going to convince him that Cas' boner was supernatural in origin, it was that.

" Okay, buddy," Dean said, rubbing his hands together to warm them. "Let's see what we can do."

Dean grasped Cas' penis by the shaft and squeezed. Cas moaned loudly, back arching as he pushed himself up into Dean's hand. Dean grimaced as he started to move his hand up and down Cas' shaft, eliciting intermittent grunts and moans from Castiel. 

God, Dean wished he had some lubricant, but oddly enough it wasn't one of those items Dean automatically packed. Let's face it, when Dean wanted some 'me' time while out on a hunt, he tended to do that in the shower, where Sammy couldn't see, and used body wash for that. 

Dean thought about getting him and Cas into the shower, but decided against it. It was weird enough jacking off Cas without adding both of them naked into the mix. Not that Dean minded the thought of him and Cas in the shower together. Actually, he didn't mind it at all. It's just _he_ wanted to be the one to choose when they moved that way, not be forced into it by some sick hex or voodoo.

"Dean," Cas groaned, writhing under Dean's ministrations. "Oh, Dean. Oh, that feels... Oh, Dean."

"It's okay, Cas," Dean said, surprised by how hoarse his voice had gotten. "You're nearly there."

"DEAN!"

"Son of a bitch!" Dean exclaimed, as ejaculate spurted into his eye. He grimaced as he rubbed Cas' cum away. 

Goddamn, that hurt like a bitch!

"I'm sorry," Cas panted, reaching out a jello-like arm to stroke Dean's thigh.

"It's fine," Dean said, trying to put on his kindest voice. After all, Cas hadn't meant anything by it. "So, are you feeling better?"

Dean took Cas' responding hum to mean 'yes'.

"Great," Dean said. " Look - I'm gonna go have a shower, get myself cleaned up. You okay here?"

Another hum from Castiel.

Dean couldn't help but smile, before grabbing his bag and heading to the shower so he could clean up. And if he was planning on addressing the semitumescent swelling that was inhabiting _his_ pants, well, he wasn't going to tell Cas that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so can anyone guess what Cas' hunger is going to be? See! There was a reason I felt like adding Famine to the mix!
> 
> Also this chapter was written on my phone, so please forgive me for any glaring errors. Autocorrect is the work of the devil.


	18. Chapter 18

Dean hung up the phone on Dr Corman the following morning, and headed back to the motel room to find Cas.

"Hey! Rise and shine, sleepy head," Dean said, smacking Cas' foot from under the blanket. "There's been another murder. Time to get up."

"I'm not asleep," Cas replied, but didn't make a move to get out of bed.

"Then get up, then," Dean insisted. "Case ain't gonna solve itself, and until it does, we can't continue our roadtrip."

"Dean... It's happening again," Cas said.

"Seriously?" Dean said, running a frustrated hand through his hair. "Jesus, Cas. This whole thing with the boners is getting ridiculous."

Last night's erection was not the only one Cas had had. Ever since Dean helped him out with the first, it seemed like every couple hours or so, Cas would start complaining when his vessel became hard again. By Dean's count, this was the sixth of Cas' erections they'd had to deal with since coming home from dinner, and whilst Dean couldn't help but admiring Cas' vessel's stamina, it really was taking the romance out of the whole thing.

"Please don't use that name in this context," Cas grumbled. "It makes me uncomfortable."

"Yeah, well I'm getting uncomfortable with you constantly popping boners," Dean said. "Seriously - what the Hell whammied you?"

"If I knew that, I'd be able to fix it," Cas snapped.

Dean sighed.

"I know. I'm sorry. It's just... been a long night," Dean tried to explain.

"So are you going to help me?" Cas asked.

"Honestly, I think if I touch that thing one more time, it might fall off," Dean said. "Seriously, Cas. It must be really painful by now."

Cas nodded, grimacing.

"It is."

"Look - how about you go try to settle it by other means?" Dean asked. "Like, go have a cold shower, or something. If that doesn't work, there's some body wash in the shower. Use that and sort yourself out."

Cas nodded, getting out of bed to head to the shower. He froze when he saw Dean was about to leave the room.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Look, with the way this is going, you're gonna be stuck in that shower a lot," Dean explained. "Thought I'd try to make some headway on this case and go chat to the good doctor."

Cas nodded.

"That makes sense, given I don't know when I will be in a fit state to help you with the case," Cas conceded. "I am sorry, Dean."

"Hey," Dean said, clasping a hand on Cas' shoulder. "Don't be sorry. You just focus on getting better."

Dean leaned in to give Cas a gentle kiss on the lips. He felt Cas' purr in response radiate through his bones.

Dean pulled away, and looked directly into Cas' eyes.

"You know I love you, right?" he said.

Cas smiled.

"I know," Cas replied. "Now go get to work."

Dean paused at the door on his way out, turning back to Cas.

"Oh, and Cas? Go drink something with electrolytes in it," Dean suggested. "I think you're going to be needing it."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

Dean flashed his badge at the morgue attendant.

"I'm Agent Marley. I'm looking for Dr Cormon," Dean said. "We spoke on the phone about an hour ago."

Dean watched as the attendant's face paled.

"Oh, my God. Haven't you heard?" he asked.

"...Heard what?" 

"Dr Corman got into a car accident on the way in to work this morning," they said, their voice hitching. "He's dead."

"Oh, my God," Dean said. "I only talked to the guy an hour ago."

The attendant nodded his head slowly.

"They're saying he was drunk," he said. "I just... I can't understand how. I mean, the guy had been sober for over twenty years."

"All it takes is a moment's weakness, right?" Dean said, reaching out to place a hand on the morgue attendant's shoulder.

Goddamn - since when had Dean been all touchy/feely? Maybe this whole going gay thing was making him more sensitive?

"Look, I'd hate to ask, but I'd really like to know about the case Dr Corman called me in for," Dean said, trying to sound sympathetic about it.

"Yeah... Of course," the man said, rubbing an errant tear from his eye as he loaded up the computer to have a look.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

"Death by Twinkie," Dean announced over the phone to Cas.

"...What's a Twinkie?" Cas asked.

"It's a little cream filled bun thing," Dean tried to explain. "Look, if this whole Apocalypse thing really does pan out, the only things that are gonna be left are cockroaches and Twinkies."

"And people really eat something that is robust enough to survive the Apocalypse?" Cas asked.

"Yeah. They're actually pretty nice," Dean ceded. "But not nice enough to stuff yourself so full of them you choke to death. What with that, and the good doctor dying this morning, it's all getting pretty weird down here."

"Wait - Doctor Corman is dead?" Cas asked. "How?"

"Drunk driving," Dean explained. "Which supposedly is Hella weird. Sounds like he used to have a drinking problem, but got on the wagon about twenty years ago. Wonder what tipped him over the edge?"

Cas' voice sighed down the line.

"This is all starting to make sense."

"What about _any_ of this makes sense, Cas?" Dean demanded.

"First we have two couples who passion for each other leads to their demise," Cas said. "Then we have a man who gluttons himself to death, and another who imbibes a substance that he has eschewed due to issues with self-control around it. And then, of course, there's my current issue."

"You think your junk being the Energiser bunny is somehow linked with this?" Dean asked.

"Definitely," Cas said. "All of our victims - myself included - have been afflicted by what they hunger the most for. Sex. Food. Alcohol."

Dean couldn't help his shit-eating grin.

"So you're telling me, that what you most hunger for in all the world, is my fine piece of ass?" Dean asked.

"It would appear so," Cas said, clinically. "Since you left this morning, I have not had another erection. However, during this phone call, I appear to have acquired another."

"That still doesn't tell us who's doing this," Dean said, feeling slightly guilty and yet slightly proud for being the one to cause Cas discomfort.

"But it does," Cas said. "Dean - you remember how you and Sam previously confronted War, and how he was able to elicit rage and violence from the people surrounding him? I believe this may be the work of his brother, Famine."

"I don't understand, Cas," Dean said. "I thought Famine would make people starve?"

Dean could almost feel the shake of Cas' head.

"Famine makes those around him hunger for what they want most," Cas explained. "In another time, most people would be concerned regarding access to nutrients, but not now. America is a country of avarice and gluttony. It is only reasonable that the hungers Famine elicits would have to be directed towards other outlets."

"Alright," Dean ceded. "So how do we gank the fucker?"

"Well, how did you defeat War?" Cas asked.

"The dude had this ring," Dean explained. "When we cut it off his finger, he turned tail and ran. Do you think Famine would have something similar?"

"I'm sure that he does," Cas said, sounding slightly short of breath. "Now, all that we need to do is find him, and remove his ring. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go have another shower. We can discuss finding Famine when you return."

"Oh, no, buddy," Dean said. "I'm not coming near you while this Famine dude is still out and about."

"What? Why?"

"Because you're going to permanently damage your junk or die from dehydration or something if you get any more boners, dude," Dean said. "I'm not gonna be responsible for your dick falling off."

"My penis is not going to fall off, Dean," Cas insisted. "You're going to need some help. Maybe... maybe you should call Sam?"

Dean paled, thinking about how he'd explain Cas having a perpetual hard-on to his brother.

"Hell no," Dean said. "If Famine is putting the whammy on anyone with a hunger for something, Sam cannot be here. Remember what he was like with the demon's blood?"

Cas groaned.

"You have a point," Cas panted.

Dean's brows furrowed.

"...Are you touching yourself right now, Cas?" he asked.

"I can't help it," he replied.

Dean knew he should be grossed out, but he wasn't.

"Which begs the question - if I'm so affected by this, then why aren't you?"

Dean shrugged, even though Cas couldn't see it.

"I dunno, Cas. I'm a pretty simple guy. If I'm hungry, I eat. If I'm sad, I drink. If I want sex, I have sex," he explained. "I guess I'm just well-fed."

"Does that mean you don't want to have sex with me?" Cas groaned.

"Course I wanna have sex with you, Cas," Dean insisted. "I just... want it to mean something when we do. I mean, sex has never been a huge thing for me. I've never really associated it with feelings before. If I wanted it, I went out and got it, and I normally didn't remember her name the next day.

"But you're different, Cas," Dean replied. "It's not just sex that I want to have with you. A single kiss with you is so much more intimate than anything I've experienced with anyone else. I don't want to ruin that just because I wanna screw you. I wanna do things right this time."

Dean was blushing by now. He'd never been great at expressing his feelings.

Cas moaned down the phone.

"So... uh..." Dean said, running a hand through his hair. "What are you wearing?"

"...I'm sorry?" Cas asked.

Dean sighed.

"It's phone sex. Look - just go with it. What are you wearing?" he repeated.

"Nothing," Cas said. "I removed my clothing as I did not want to risk getting them dirty."

"Ooh, you'd like that. Wouldn't you?" Dean growled. "Getting dirty."

"...No. That's why I took them off."

Dean sighed. Of course Cas wasn't going to get this.

"Yeah, I know Cas," Dean said. "I was just trying to talk dirty."

"Why are you trying to talk dirty?" he demanded, panting.

"Cause I'm trying to get you off," Dean explained. "Look - let's try something different. Shut your eyes."

"What good would that do?"

"Just shut your goddamned eyes, Cas," Dean said, leaning his head back against the headrest in the Impala. "You doing that?"

"Mmhmm."

"Good. Okay, so I want you to imagine me being there. Can you do that?" he coached.

"...I think I can do that."

"Great. Now, imagine me naked," Dean said. "Are you doing that, Cas?"

"Mmhmm."

"Now imagine my hand around the base of your dick," he said. "You're allowed to touch it for me. Now imagine me squeezing it for you, like I did last night."

Cas groaned.

Good. It's a little bit more directed than he was used to, but Dean could work with this.

"God, Cas, I love the look of your dick," Dean said, trying to speak with a throaty growl. "I love the way it feels in my hand. I love the way it felt when it rubbed against mine. Can you rub it for me, Cas?"

"...Uhuh..."

"Can you imagine what it would feel like if I kissed it, Cas?" Dean said. "If I kissed your dick? Can you imagine the way I'd look if my lips were on it? If my tongue was on it? God, Cas, can you imagine what it would taste like?"

Cas groaned.

"Are you enjoying this, Cas? Thinking about my mouth on your dick?"

He groaned again.

"I'd be enjoying it more, if you stopped mentioning my Father," he said.

"Hmm... Well, I'm enjoying thinking about your dick in my mouth," Dean continued, making a mental note to stop mentioning God. "I like thinking about having your mouth on my dick, too, Cas."

Cas was panting loudly down the phone.

"You are so beautiful, you know that, Cas?" Dean said. "I love the way you feel in my hands. Like you're mine - only mine. Can you remember what my hand feels like on you? Stroking you tightly, faster and faster..."

And with that, a large, guttural moan echoed down the line. Dean was glad he didn't have the phone on speaker phone.

"Feeling better, Cas?" Dean asked, after giving Cas a minute to collect himself.

Cas mumbled something incoherently in response.

"Great. Look, I'll call you later. Let you know how I'm going with the whole hunt for Famine," he promised. "Oh, and Cas? I was serious about wanting your dick in my mouth later."

And with that, Dean hung up.


	19. Chapter 19

Things all started happening pretty quickly after that. Knowing what he was hunting made things much easier for Dean.

Another Horseman. _Awesome_. And it's Famine. _Great_. 

All he had to do now was track him down, cut his ring off, and then he and Cas could get back on their road trip to Disneyland.

It turned out that's Dean's interlude of phone sex with Castiel in the Impala was more useful that he thought. Dean was about to start his car, when he noticed a bald man in a black suit enter the morgue with a briefcase - which wouldn't have been so weird, except that he was certain that he'd seen the guy somewhere before.

Dean thought over his steps over the last two days - skipping over some bits for obvious reasons - when he finally placed him. Dean had spotted the same guy leaving the morgue yesterday, with the same briefcase in hand.

Now, it could have been that the guy just worked there, and Dean just happened to be around while he was heading to and from his place of work. But Dean had never been a huge fan of coincidences, especially not in a town where one of the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse was currently calling home. 

Dean sat in the Impala and waited, and sure enough, about five minutes later, the man with the briefcase was leaving again, walking with a purpose in the same direction from which he came.

Dean started the car and followed slowly, watching as the man reached the corner and got into an unmarked black van and drove away.

Dean smiled. Looked like this was going to be interesting after-all.

Dean followed the van, careful to keep a non-suspicious gap between them, as it drove out to a diner on the outskirts of town. Dean was surprised that three other large, black vans were out front, and most of all, he was surprised by how little activity there was in the diner. He could feel the hairs on his arms stand on end, an instinctive response to the fight he knew was coming.

Yup. This was definitely the right place.

God, Dean wished Sam was here. Or Cas. Or anyone who was capable of forming a plan better than 'let's just storm in and see what happens'. Dean had never had a mind for strategy, but he was well-aware of his own limitations, and tried to ignore his instinctual urge to go barging in and let the dominoes fall where they may.

 _What would Sam do?_ Dean asked himself.

It wouldn't have been useful asking himself was Cas would do. Cas was an angel. He would have just blinked into the room, sliced off a finger and blinked back to the car. No, what he needed right now was what his sensible, _human_ brother would do. How would Sam approach this situation, and how would that prevent him from getting himself killed? Because Dean knew he couldn't risk getting himself killed right now. He needed to stay alive so he could use his body as a bargaining piece to convince Michael to fix Cas up.

 _Goddamn, I'm an idiot,_ Dean thought. _I should just frigging ask him._

Dean pulled out his cell, and called his brother back in South Dakota. Sam picked up on the third ring.

"Hey, Dean! How's the case going?" Sam asked, sounding genuinely relieved to be hearing from his brother.

"Oh, the case is awesome," Dean said. "It's another Horseman - Famine."

Dean was nothing, if not direct and to the point.

"Damn," Sam said. "Do you need me to come?"

"Nah. Not enough time," Dean said. "Look - I've cornered Famine in this diner on the outskirts of town. I'm just trying to work out how to take him down."

"Sounds like you need some back-up," Sam said. "Look - get Cas to fly back here and grab me. Then we can figure this out."

"Can't. Cas is down for the count," Dean said.

"What? You haven't got Cas, either? What happened?" Sam asked, alarmed.

"He got mojo'd," Dean said, unwilling to go into Cas' predicament any further. "Don't worry, he'll be fine once we take this son of a bitch down. He's just not up to helping anyone at the moment."

"Do you really think it's the best idea to be confronting a Horseman on your own, Dean?" Sam said. "Look - I'll drive down. Just wait for me to get there."

"Can't, Sammy," Dean said. "Horseman will be long-gone before you get here. Can't risk him getting away. So what do I do?"

"...You're asking _me_ for advice?" Sam asked, surprised.

"Well, yeah," Dean said. "Why else would I be calling?"

"You - asking for advice," he clarified.

"Good to see my little brother thinks so highly of me," Dean snapped. "So you gonna help or what?"

"Do we even know how to defeat a Horseman?" Sam asked.

"Cas seems to think cutting his finger off like we did War will do the trick," Dean said. "Problem is, I'm guessing the dude is pretty well defended."

"Why do you think that? War was all Lone Ranger."

"There's all these unmarked black vans pulled up outside of this diner. I followed one of his henchmen here. Have a feeling this guy likes to travel in a pack," Dean explained.

"Well, that makes it difficult," Sam said. "So what's his MO? I know War could influence people's fear and aggression. How does Famine do his trick?"

"Makes them hunger for whatever they want most," Dean said. "So love, food, sex... That kind of stuff."

"Is that what happened to Cas?" Sam asked.

"Yeah," Dean admitted.

"And what does Cas hunger for?" Sam asked.

"...Red meat."

Well... he wasn't lying.

Sam laughed.

"And you're telling me _you're_ not having a problem? I thought you'd be the first one to hit the bar and try to pick up as many chicks as possible," Sam said.

"Yeah... Well... I'm getting more responsible in my old age, Sammy," Dean said. "So hurry up - how do I defeat Famine?"

"How the Hell should I know?" Sam said. "Looks like you got one up on him if you can't be influenced, but you're still gonna have to get close to him to chop off his finger, which isn't gonna be easy if he's surrounded by a posse."

Dean sighed.

"Great. Some help you are," Dean said. "So Plan A it is then..."

"No... wait..."

"Bye, Sammy."

Dean hung up on Sam, placing his cell pocket as he took a deliberately slow breath in and out. He pulled Ruby's knife from his jacket, and fingered the blade.

"Okay," he said. "Let's do this shit."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm putting the breaks on the smut for the moment, and trying to inject some plot into this book. Trust me - it was never my intention when I started to have porn without plot! However, seems to be the only way for me to do that is to keep Cas out of the picture. He and Dean just can't seem to keep their hands off each other...
> 
> Can't wait until I get out of the plot for _My Bloody Valentine_ and can get back to _my_ story again. I want these boys to get to Disneyland!


	20. Chapter 20

Okay, so Plan A was stupid. So very, very stupid.

What the Hell had Dean been thinking, when he decided to storm the place on his own like Seal Team Six? He'd barely broken in the back door into the kitchen, when he'd been confronted by a bunch of Famine's lackeys. His bloody _demon_ lackeys. 

Dean managed to dispatch two of them with Ruby's knife before he was taken down, face pressed into the cold linoleum floor as he waited for the demons to finish him off. It was only that Famine had told them to wait that he currently remained not dead - not that he saw that lasting much longer.

Famine was an old man, frail and thin in a wheelchair, with oxygen specs in his nose. To anyone else looking at him, he'd seem vulnerable, but the way his eyes burned with a feral, ancient power told Dean there was more to the old guy then met the eye.

"Dean Winchester," Famine said, using the lever on his wheelchair to advance himself towards him. "How wonderful to finally meet you."

"Yeah, wish I could say the same," Dean said. "But really, not sure you live up to the hype."

"Where is your brother, Sam, and that angel of yours?" Famine wheezed. "I thought that you always liked to travel with an entourage?"

"Decided to leave them home this time," Dean said. "Didn't think you were worth the effort to call the cavalry in."

Famine laughed.

"And what do you think now, Mr Winchester?" Famine asked. "Have I managed to impress you yet?"

The air around Dean suddenly felt thicker, weighted with something he couldn't put his finger on.

"Yeah... That whole making people coo coo for cocoa puffs doesn't work on me," Dean said. 

The creases in Famine's forehead deepened further at that.

"Interesting," Famine said, bringing himself ever closer. "Have you wondered why that is? How you could even walk in my presence."

"I like to think it's because of my strength of character," Dean quipped, winking at the Horseman.

"I disagree."

Famine reached a hand forward and placed it over Dean's chest. It felt like someone had poured molten iron into Dean's chest. It was both burning and freezing at the same time. Dean groaned, and his knees buckled. If it weren't for the two demon henchmen holding him up, he would have fallen.

"Oh, I see," Famine whispered. "How amazing - for a man who has nothing to be convinced he has everything, just because one silly angel chose to smile at him. You think having a purpose gives you meaning, but it doesn't. It is all smoke and mirrors, Mr Winchester. You have nothing."

"What, just because I won't buy what you're selling, you're convinced that I'm wrong?" Dean demanded. 

"You can't lie to me, Mr Winchester. I can see inside you. I see the emptiness that rests in there. All your life, you've just gone through the motions. Doing what you have to because it's what's expected of you. Always your father's faithful soldier," Famine said. "You can't fill that emptiness with love. Give it time, and it will crack, and it will break, and you will be alone again."

"Yeah... Well... We'll just see about that," Dean said, all bravado even in the face of certain death.

"Yes. We shall see."

Famine placed his hand back on Dean's chest, and that freezing heat started anew. But this time he felt as it wrapped and pulled around something deep inside himself. The pain was surprisingly familiar to Dean. He had felt it when Cas had grabbed his soul. But where Cas had only grabbed the smallest piece, out of an act of final desperation, Dean could feel Famine dig his hungry claws into all of it, desperately dragging it to pull it back into himself.

_I'm gonna die_ , Dean realised. _Famine is gonna eat my soul._

_But what about Cas? Who is gonna save Cas?_ Dean thought, frantically.

Cas was still dying, and it was all Dean's fault. How could he leave him to face that on his own?

"Yes! Yes!" the Horseman cried, as he felt Dean's soul begin to give in to his pull.

_Cas, I'm so sorry,_ Dean prayed. _Cas, I love you..._

A feral yell rang out through the diner, and suddenly the pressure from Famine's hand disappeared from Dean's chest. Dean crumpled in a heap, unable to hold himself up, as bright light after bright light flashed through the diner.

"Dean," a frantic voice said, shaking his shoulder when it was all done. "Dean! Are you okay?"

"...Cas?"

"Oh, thank God," Cas said, his shoulders visibly slumping as Dean opened his eyes to look up at him.

"I don't think he's listening, Cas," Dean said, groaning as Cas pulled him into a seated position.

Dean looked around the diner. Demons lay dead, eyes burned out of their sockets with heavenly fire. Famine lay on the ground, unmoving. His hand lay on the floor next to Dean, detached from the rest of his body.

"...What the Hell, Cas?"

"I'm sorry," Cas said. "I know we had only planned on taking the finger, but Famine was about to consume your soul. I wasn't going to let that happen."

"How did you know I needed help?" Dean asked.

"...I heard your prayer," Cas said, as though it was obvious. "Of course, _finding_ you was slightly more problematic, given the runes on your ribs. But I had spoken to Sam earlier in the evening, and he said you said you were at a diner. I would have been here sooner, but it turns out there are a surprisingly large amount of diners in town and..."

Cas would have kept babbling, except that Dean pressed his lips to his. Cas made a sharp noise of surprise, before allowing himself to melt into Dean's embrace.

"Thank you, Cas," Dean said, when he finally decided to pull away.

"Of course," Cas said. "I would never stand by, idle, when you are in peril."

"I'm not talking about tonight, Cas," Dean clarified, watching as Cas' head tilted in confusion. "Come on, Cas. Take me home."

Dean struggled to get off the floor, but failed. It turned out having a Horseman touch-up your soul took a lot out of you.

"...I might need some help," Dean admitted.

Cas just nodded, sliding an arm behind Dean's shoulders and one under his knees. Dean was surprised when Cas stood, lifting Dean in his arms as you would a child. Cas walked steadily out towards the Impala, as though Dean was not an impediment at all except for it being more difficult to open doors.

Dean was thoroughly impressed.

"Have to say, I've never been manhandled before," Dean admitted, as Cas lowered him to his feet so he could hop into his car. "But, seriously. Sammy is never to know this happened, okay?"

Cas chuckled.

"Of course, Dean."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank Chuck! We're at the end of the _My Bloody Valentine_ interlude!
> 
> So I've learned my lesson - do _not_ attempt to tie the story line in with the show. It's a pain in the butt trying to make it match but not copying line for line.
> 
> Mind you, it wasn't all bad. We got Cas carrying Dean.
> 
> Anyway, back to _my_ story now!


	21. Chapter 21

Cas and Dean sat on the hood of the Impala, looking out over the massive canyon ahead of them. The sun was setting, making the stone and surrounding earth glow. The walls of the canyon cast shadows the deeper the sun crept, making it simultaneously the brightest and darkest thing on the landscape. And it was beautiful.

It was a bitter sweet moment for Castiel, being back at the Grand Canyon. It was very different from the last time he was there, four or five million years ago. Back then, no one would have thought much of the river that wound it's way through what would eventually become Arizona. But the steady march of water over the millennia had created something much grander than it's humble start.

Wasn't it interesting, how the most wonderful things always had the most unassuming beginnings?

Cas had spent millennia watching the Earth. He had watched as his Father had moulded the detritus of space into a spinning mass that would eventually coalesce into the ground they now stood upon. He had seen it go through it's violent birth, from a violent spinning ball of molten earth to desolate wasteland. He'd watched as it was beaten to a pulp by asteroids, bits of it breaking off to form the moon. Then it began to accumulate an atmosphere - just whisps of gas that refused to leave it's surface - as it began to collect water. And in that water, the most amazing things had happened. 

Atoms clutched at each other, driven by divine purpose, to make proteins, who banded together to make cells - these amazing little machines, that had their own heat and _life_ , who forced the world to bend to their will, creating oxygen and carbon dioxide to make a more hospitable world for them to live in.

How many millennia had Castiel watched those cells, as they created and replicated and died? To a bystander, it had seemed these cells had no purpose. They only existed for a speck of time, and achieved so little with the time they had, but the actions of generations created so much.

_Be patient_ , his Father had told him, and Castiel had been. He had watched as the Earth grew green, and creatures of His own making began to inhabit every inch of the planet Castiel watched. Castiel had been amazed by the beauty of it. But Castiel had never understood the purpose of his Father's creation until he had come down to Earth and walked among them. 

Castiel looked across at Dean, where he sat next to next to him on the hood of the Impala. The way the late afternoon sunlight shone through his hair brought out hints of gold, laced through his hair like threads to Castiel's Grace. Cas smiled as he felt Dean's hand creep across the boot of the car to find his own, his fingers entwining his own and squeezing.

"So, Cas. What do you think?" Dean asked. "Was it worth the trip."

Cas smiled.

"Yes, Dean," he said. "It was definitely worth the trip."

Dean leaned in to kiss Castiel. He shut his eyes, savouring the feeling of Dean's lips on his and the gentle brush of stubble on his skin.

Yes, the most wonderful things had the most unassuming beginnings. 

When Castiel had been given his mission to save Dean from Hell, he had no idea that he would end up where he was today. He had never predicted that the broken soul he had raised from the Pit and pieced back together would be the one to give Cas reason. For millennia, Cas had been a bystander, willing to do as asked, but not challenge what was. Dean had taught him about free will, and gave him something to fight for. Cas had lived so much more in the past eighteen months than he had in an eternity.

Cas purred as Dean rested his forehead against his, a gentle hand brushing the side of his face.

"I love you, Cas," Dean said, rubbing his nose against his for a moment, before pulling away.

Green eyes looked into his, the surrounding umber of the Earth failing to pull all the colour from them. 

"Cas... I was thinking," Dean said, his eyebrow twitching in the way it always did when he was uncertain about something. "About what you were saying about experiencing all facets of humanity, and I think... I think it's time we explored them some more."

Cas raised an eyebrow.

"Dean Winchester - are you propositioning me?"

Dean laughed.

"Yeah, Cas. I'm propositioning you," Dean said. "So what do you think?"

Cas smiled.

"I think the Grand Canyon will still be here tomorrow," he said, pulling himself to his feet and smiling, as he tugged Dean's hand. "Let's explore humanity."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One...Two...Three - aww!
> 
> So I may have written this chapter with Rob Benedict singing _Fare Thee Well_ on repeat in the background. Probably why I was pretending to be all insightful.
> 
> Have delayed the smut that is probably incoming next chapter. Didn't want to ruin the moment here.
> 
> Thanks for all the comments so far! I'm loving hearing what you guys think!


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut alert!
> 
> Don't say I didn't warn you.

Dean turned the key to their motel room, the door creaking as it allowed them admittance.

It wasn't the fanciest of motel rooms. Grey speckled lino covered the floor, and the walls were an off-putting khaki colour. But there was one important difference to the thousands of motel rooms Dean had stayed in over the years - there was only one bed.

Dean dumped the bags he carried next to the bed, before turning to face Castiel, who stood unassumingly by the door. Cas didn't move. He just stood there, waiting, doing that immovable statue thing he did when he didn't understand human social cues. He wondered if Cas could hear how fast his heart was beating. 

Dean felt ridiculous, as he stood there and ran a nervous hand through his hair. Goddamn it - he was Dean _freaking_ Winchester! He did _not_ get coy, especially not when it came to sex. So why was he acting like a freaking teenager trying to lose his virginity?

_Fuck it_ , Dean thought, gathering his courage as he walked to where Cas stood, and placed his hands on his shoulders.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Dean asked, his throat dry.

Cas just nodded.

"Okay," Dean said, his heart beating just that little bit harder in his chest. "Well, you better get your clothes off and get your ass in to bed."

And Cas, ever the dutiful soldier, did exactly as he was told. Dean watched as the angel stripped down and hopped into bed, being careful to pull the bed covers back before he did so. Dean swallowed hard.

_Goddamn it, Dean. Get a grip_ , Dean coached himself. After all, this was _not_ the first time Dean had seen Cas naked in the past week. It wasn't even going to be the first time he'd touched his dick. But tonight they were going to go further than just a bit of rutting and handjobs, and as much as Dean wanted that, he was still a bit scared by the idea of gay sex. 

Who was on top? Who was on bottom? How did you get that to fit there, anyway? And what happened with the other dick while you were doing it?

"Dean. Aren't you going to disrobe?" Cas asked, from where he sat on the bed.

It was only from Cas' stillness that Dean got a sense that maybe his angel was just as nervous about all this as he was. And somehow, knowing that made it easier.

_Okay, Dean. Time to man up,_ Dean thought. _You're gonna take Cas' virginity, so you gotta make this good. No stuffing it up just because you're chicken shit._

Dean pulled his shirt over his head, deliberately slow with the action so Cas could watch the pull of his muscles. Dean smiled when he lowered his arms, at the small 'o' shape of Cas' mouth. Dean unbuckled his belt and lowered his jeans, kicking them along with his briefs off, before he went to join Cas at the bed.

"Oh - wait! Almost forgot something," Dean said, rushing back to his bag and unzipping it, before pulling out a bottle of lube that he'd bought after Cas' mojo with Famine. He smiled proudly as he deposited it on the bedside table. "Thought we might be needing this."

"That is a very good idea, Dean," Cas said. "From my research into the subject, it seems that copious amounts of lubricant will be necessary."

Dean had to physically prevent his eye roll. He'd almost forgotten about Cas' research.

"So. What now?" Cas asked.

Dean laughed.

"You're asking me? You're the one who researched it," Dean teased.

Cas nodded.

"True," he replied. "So... I'm going to kiss you now."

Dean laughed.

"Yeah, Cas. Come on and kiss me."

So Cas did.

Cas leaned in and pressed his lips to Dean's, prompting a startled moan from the hunter. Cas' tongue pressed in to his mouth, as one hand gripped Dean tightly by the neck and the other palmed Dean's dick.

Holy shit. Cas had never tried to take control of their kisses before, but _damn_ didn't Dean enjoy it.

Dean was panting by the time Cas began to trail kisses along his cheek and down his neck, gently sucking and nipping a trail to Dean's collarbone. Cas shifted himself to straddle Dean, gently rubbing himself against the hunter and wasn't the friction delicious?

"Cas," Dean groaned, as Cas bit his neck and growled. "Oh, God, Cas."

"Don't use that name," Cas warned.

_Oh, right. Don't talk about Daddy during sex_ , Dean reminded himself. He'd have to keep an eye on that.

Cas returned his lips to Dean's for a moment, before pulling away. Dean felt bereft from the sudden lack of friction. He was about to ask Cas what the Hell when Cas started to shuffle backwards, a knowing grin on his face.

_Where the Hell was this going?_ Dean thought, as Cas brought his lips to Dean's nipple and bit.

_Holy shit!_

Dean couldn't remember how much Cas' porno had cost him, but if this was the result of watching it, Dean had to say it was worth the investment. Dean writhed for a moment, under the ministrations of Cas suckling on his nipple while he pinched the other, before Cas discarded that endeavour as well as he continued his journey south, trailing kisses down Dean's chest and abdomen along the way.

By now, Dean knew where Cas was headed, and Dean would be damned if he was gonna stop him reaching his destination. Dean _knew_ it should be him taking control, him taking Cas to pieces with his lips and hands, but there was something way too sexy about his innocent angel doing such things for Dean to want to interrupt.

Dean watched as Cas grabbed the base of his shaft with a hand, and squeezed. Dean grunted loudly, trying to hold back the instinct of bucking into Cas' hand. Dean watched as Cas licked his lips, blue eyes staring earnestly up at him, before he opened his mouth and lowered it on to Dean's dick.

Dean made an inpolite noise, his head jerking back as he stared up at the ceiling, trying to settle his breathing as Cas sucked on his cock. Dean looked back down at Cas, and watched as his length disappeared down the other man's throat.

_Oh, that's right. Cas doesn't have a gag reflex,_ Dean thought, almost academically. How could he have almost forgotten about the hot dogs?

Dean ran his fingers through Cas' hair, allowing his hand to guide him as he moved his mouth back and forth down his dick.

"Ow! Cas," Dean warned. "Teeth."

Cas tried to mumble an apology, but given that his mouth was otherwise occupied, it did nothing more than send delicious vibrations through Dean.

Dean had no idea where Cas planned on going with this, but by this point, he didn't care. He'd be perfectly content coming apart in Cas' mouth. Which is why Dean was surprised when he felt a gentle pressure around his arsehole.

"Woah! Hey, Cas! Whatcha doing?" Dean said, pulling back as Cas finally released his cock.

"I'm preparing you," Cas informed him, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I am led to understand that if you are not sufficiently relaxed, then it can be quite painful."

Dean just sat there, mouth opening and shutting like a fish.

_Oh. My. God. Cas wants me to bottom!_

Jesus Christ. What is Dean meant to do with that? In all the ways that Dean saw this evening playing out, he never imagined that he would be the one catching, so to speak. But now that the idea was suggested, was it such a bad thing? After all, this was Cas' first time. It should go the way he wants it to. Besides, Dean's dick by this point in time was well-used. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad experiencing something like this for the first time, so it would be something new for him, as well.

_Oh, what the Hell._

"Oh... Yeah," Dean managed to stammer. "Sorry, Cas. You're right. Continue."

_Continue? Fucking smooth, Dean_ , Dean chided himself. But Cas didn't seem offput at all by the instruction, as he reached out to grab a bottle of lube and pour some over Dean's perineum.

Goddamn, that was cold. Dean shuddered as the cold goop ran between his legs, and Cas' mouth found his dick again. He tried to relax as he felt Cas' finger try to gain admittance again, and now that he was expecting it, it really wasn't that bad. Actually, it felt pretty damn good. When Cas finally inserted a second finger, he felt a slight sting from the stretch, but other than that, he found he was more concerned with what Cas' mouth was doing to him than his fingers.

That was until Cas found Dean's prostrate.

A sudden electric sensation shot through Dean's body, and his back arched involuntarily off the bed. And Cas didn't stop, pressing into it again and again, now that he knew where it was and that Dean clearly enjoyed it.

"Cas," Dean groaned. "I swear to... FUCK! If you don't start fucking me soon, I'm gonna lose it."

_Don't mention God. Don't mention God. Don't mention God...._

"Are you sure?" Cas asked, releasing Dean from his mouth once more. "You have to be completely ready, or it will not be pleasant."

"Fuck, Cas. I'm ready," Dean insisted. "So please, fuck me in to next Thursday."

Cas smiled.

"Okay, Dean."

Dean had gotten used to Cas taking control by now, so he just lay there and awaited instruction. He was surprised that instead of being forced to roll over, that Cas just pulled himself up and on top of him, pushing Dean's legs aside as he came to rest between them.

"You will tell me to stop, if this is uncomfortable," Cas warned, blue eyes serious.

"Yes, Cas," Dean said. "Now, just get on with it."

Cas pushed gently against Dean's entrance, and Dean groaned. It was a weird sensation, but not uncomfortable. Cas took his time, pushing a little bit harder with each thrust, as he waited for Dean to fully relax. Dean gasped when Cas finally gained admittance. It was a strange sensation - a burning, full sensation - but it wasn't unpleasant. In fact, the more that Cas was in him, the better it felt.

"Are you okay, Dean?" Cas asked, panting, when he finally bottomed out.

Dean looked down, through knees that were pulled up into his chest, at where he and Cas connected, and goddamn, wasn't that the most erotic sight he'd ever seen?

"Seriously, Cas. I'm amazing," Dean insisted. "So hurry up and fuck me."

Now that Cas was convinced that Dean was fine, he started to move, his hips snapping back and forth in time with the hunter's grunts. Dean saw stars when Cas hit his prostate again, and he found himself wondering how he could have been missing out on this his whole life.

It only took two or three more thrusts against his prostate for Dean to come, his cum spraying against his and Castiel's chests. Dean would have been embarrassed by how quick he was, except for Cas coming a couple seconds later, a wet heat filling Dean as Cas collapsed against him, a grunting, sweating mess.

Cas pulled out and lay on Dean's chest, quivering. Dean stroked his arm gently, before pulling him in for a gentle kiss. It would never cease to amaze Dean the way his chest lit up when Cas purred in response to his touch.

_So this is what love feels like,_ Dean thought to himself, closing his eyes as he allowed himself to relax in to his partner's embrace. And the way that Cas squeezed Dean tightly just then, seemed like Cas was silently saying yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so it's a lot harder writing M/M sex when you're a girl than I expected. Hope it wasn't too unrealistic :-/


	23. Chapter 23

Cas woke suddenly the following morning.

Castiel gasped, his hand grasping at his stomach as it contorted with a sharp pain that threatened to tear Castiel apart. Cas looked inwards towards his Grace, and saw the tumour attempt to twist away from his Grace. He groaned as it gave another twist, curling in to a ball, as he struggled to breathe through the pain.

"Cas? Cas!"

Dean had woken to Cas' cries, suddenly alert as his partner writhed in pain beside him. He grabbed Cas by the shoulder, squeezing his arm as he tried to get his attention.

"Cas! What is it? What can I do?" Dean begged.

Cas just groaned, as he attempted to pant through the pain.

And just like that, it was over.

Cas slumped backwards onto his back, as the pain that had threatened to tear him in two disappeared as quickly as it came. He gasped for breath as he stared at the ceiling, his pupils blown wide by pain.

"Cas - are you okay?" Dean asked.

Cas grasped Dean's forearm with his hand and squeezed.

"I'm fine, Dean," he insisted. "It's... it's over."

"What the Hell, Cas?" Dean demanded, as his shoulders slumped in relief. "What happened?"

Cas shook his head.

"It was the tumour," he tried to explain. "It... moved."

"It moved?" Dean asked. "That thing can move?"

"It appears that it is getting too large for the physical confines of my vessel," he said, wishing that the tremors that still rushed through his body would subside.

"Oh, great. Is that all?" Dean asked sarcastically, folding his arms across his chest defensively.

They both went quiet for a moment, neither really wanting to broach the obvious - if the tumour formed by Dean's soul and Cas' Grace was starting to act up now, how long did Cas actually have left?

"How much warning will we have, before 'it' actually happens?" Dean asked.

"I don't know," Cas admitted, frowning as he rubbed his abdomen.

Dean swore, standing suddenly as he rubbed both hands through his hair, desperately to stop the tears that threatened him from coming to his eyes.

Wasn't it typical, that just as his life started going the way he wanted it to, that it had to be stolen away from him? If Dean ever did get to meet God, he was going to tell him what a cock tease he was - promising Dean something wonderful, only to steal it away just as fast. He had wanted so much more than just one night with Cas. 

As much as Cas was unsure that today might be his last day, Dean was not going to take that chance. He'd already made the decision that if only one of them made it out of this alive, it was going to be Cas. Dean thought about the materials he had brought to summon Michael, hidden in the boot of the Impala, and he knew it was time. As much as Dean had never wanted to say 'yes', he always suspected one day he would be forced to. At least this way, he was saying 'yes' for love.

"...I think I need to get some air," Dean said, turning to face Cas. 

Cas looked worried, his eyes ultra blue while they were set under furrowed brows.

"...Dean."

"How about I go get us some breakfast in bed?" Dean asked. "Save you from having to exert yourself. We'll have a rest day today, and continue our trip tomorrow. How does that sound?"

Cas didn't look convinced.

"I can come with you," he insisted.

"Don't worry about it," Dean insisted. "I'll be back in like... half an hour. You rest up, okay?"

Dean didn't broker more discussion. He grabbed his wallet from the bedside table, and headed straight for the door. Dean felt something pull in his chest, as he turned back to look at Cas. He desperately wanted to throw himself back in to bed, to kiss Cas and tell him he loved him. But Dean couldn't risk Cas becoming suspicious from his actions. Even though he was sick, he was still an angel, and still more than capable of kicking Dean's ass. Besides, Dean always hated chick flick moments.

"Come back soon," Cas called.

Dean just smiled back.

"Yeah, Cas. I'll be back soon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh, Michael is incoming!


	24. Chapter 24

Dean sat on the hood of the Impala, looking out over a remote stretch of the Grand Canyon, with a glass of whiskey in his hand.

He supposed as far as last days go, it hadn't been too bad. Starting with waking up in bed with the man he loved. Ending with a beautiful vista and a glass of good whiskey. He'd been keeping this bottle in the Impala for as long as he could remember, a gift from his father he'd been told to set aside for the 'right day'. Well, if his last day on Earth as him didn't count as the right day, it never would be.

He only wished that he got to speak to Sam and Bobby one more time. Wished he had a chance to say goodbye. But he knew his brother and surrogate father too well. If he rang, they'd know something was up, and they would tear down heaven and earth to prevent Dean from doing what he knew needed to be done.

Dean looked down at the notepad that was pinned under the whiskey bottle. He looked at the hurriedly scrawled letters, and he hoped that they'd be enough to get across what he needed to say. That Dean loved them, and would have never survived this long without them. Then, of course, there was the letter he wrote Cas, which consisted of only a few lines.

_I did what I had to do to save you. That's what you do for the ones you love. You save them even when they don't want saving. So don't waste it. Go to Disneyland. Enjoy the life I never could have. And never forget I love you._

Dean sighed, as he placed his empty glass on the bonnet. He guessed he better get this show on the road. He'd promised Cas he'd only be half an hour, and it had already been forty-five minutes since he'd left.

Dean slid off the hood, and looked at the circle of holy oil surrounded by artefacts he'd already laid next to the Impala, Enochian script drawn into the earth surrounding it. All he had to do was spill a bit of blood, chant a few words and hey, presto! He'd have himself an archangel. 

Dean pulled the silver knife from his jacket, and ran it across his hand. He hissed at the feel of silver cutting flesh, and watched as it dripped into the centre of the circle. He lit the holy oil, forming the ring of fire that would protect him from the archangel while Dean made his deal.

Dean began to chant.

" _Soh-rah-day-mi-roh-kah_..."

"Dean."

Dean spun around.

"...Cas?"

"What are you doing?" Cas asked, the horror evident on his voice. 

Cas walked forward, and looked at Dean's handiwork. Dean watched as his face paled, and confused eyes looked up at him.

"...You're saying Yes?" Cas asked, even though it was obvious he already knew. "But why?"

"Cas..."

"Tell me why!"

Dean didn't know if angels could cry, but Cas looked damned close right about now.

"I gave up _everything_ for you, Dean. I gave up Heaven. I gave up my _family_ ," Cas growled, grabbing Dean by his jacket. 

"All because I _loved_ you, and _trusted_ you. I am _dying_ because of you. Because I chose to save _you_ from Beloniel's blade. Doesn't that mean _anything_ to you? Don't _I_ mean anything to you?"

"You mean _everything_ to me, Cas," Dean said. "Can't you see? I'm doing this for _you_. I couldn't give a rats ass about the Apocalypse. Lucifer can kiss my ass - Michael too. I don't give a shit about them and their war. 

"But Michael could _save_ you, Cas. I know he could. He can cut that thing out of you, and then use his mojo to patch you back up. He's an angel, Cas. His Grace isn't gonna to kill you."

Cas looked horrified.

"You're going to say Yes to _save me_?" Cas asked. "Are you insane? Why would you do that?"

"Because I love you, you idiot," Dean snapped. "This is all my fault. This is happening to you because you tried to save my life, and I did a shitty job of piecing you back together. I can't have you die, Cas. It'd kill me, anyway."

Cas just shook his head, pulling Dean forward to kiss him roughly.

"I fell in love with an idiot," Cas said, pulling away.

"It's about time you worked that out," Dean said. "So you're gonna let me do this?"

"No, Dean," Cas said. "Never."

"...I can't let you die, Cas," Dean said.

"I know," Cas said. "I'm not asking you to."

"...Well, that's a new one," Dean said, confused.

"Dean, you have no idea if it is even possible to piece me back together with a piece of an archangel," he said. "I don't want you sacrificing yourself to Michael when it might not work. But Michael is not the only archangel we can ask for help."

"...What? You think Raphael would help out? After you handed him his ass on a platter, last time?" Dean asked.

"No. Not Raphael," Cas said. "Gabriel."

Dean raised an eyebrow.

"Gabriel? As in heavenly birth announcer Gabriel?"

Cas nodded.

"Gabriel is the Messenger of God," Cas concurred. "But... much like myself, he has gone rogue. He left the Host shortly after announcing to Mary that she carried God's child. Since then his whereabouts have remained unknown."

"So you want us to go searching for the angel equivalent of Where's Waldo?" Dean asked.

"We don't have to go searching," Cas explained. "I have recently seen him, and he knows of my condition. I believe if we were to summon him, he would at least listen to our request."

"Awesome! So what are we waiting for?" Dean asked, when it suddenly clicked. "Wait - when did you see him recently?"

Cas grimaced.

"In Yanktonville, after the hot dog eating contest," Cas said. 

"What? Why was he there?" Dean demanded.

"Because he was the one that killed the competiteater," Cas confessed. "I'm sorry, Dean."

"What?" Dean asked, confused. "But he was killed by that witch. Remember, we ganked her?"

Cas shook his head.

"That was an illusion, presumably created by Gabriel to cover his tracks," Cas admitted.

"Son of a bitch," Dean snapped. "Why did you keep this from me, Cas?"

"Cause I didn't want you being killed by my brother," Cas insisted. "Dean, had you known Gabriel was behind the murder, you would have gone after him. And I'm sorry, Dean, but but you can't take on an archangel."

Dean found it hard to argue with that, but he'd be damned if he wouldn't try.

"You still should have told me, Cas," Dean said. "Might have saved the need for this whole farewell tour."

Cas frowned.

"That's what this trip was?" Cas asked. "You were always planning on sacrificing yourself?"

"Well... Yeah," Dean said. "I wasn't gonna lose you, Cas."

Dean was surprised when Cas flung his arms around his neck and squeezed him tight.

"Human, Cas," Dean reminded him, as he tried to pry Cas' arms from his neck.

"Don't you _ever_ think of doing something so stupid again, you hear me?" Cas demanded, voice hitching as he released Dean.

"Alright, Cas," Dean said, slightly choked up. "So are we gonna wrangle ourselves up an archangel, or what?"


	25. Chapter 25

Gabriel was in a hot spring in Iceland when he received his brother's call, occupied by two blonde, Nordic beauties.

_Gabriel. It's Castiel. I need to see you._

Gabriel snorted - as though a call from his little bro justified interrupting his current plans - and continued to nuzzle his face into leggy-and-blonde-number-one's neck.

_Gabriel, please,_ the call came again. _Gabriel, I'm... I'm dying. Please, do not make me do this alone._

Gabriel sighed, as he pulled away from his blonde beauties. He was a selfish ass, but even he wasn't going to let his brother die alone.

"Sorry, babe," Gabriel said in perfect Icelandic, as he withdrew himself from the women's grasps. "Family emergency. I'll be back as soon as I can, so entertain each other while I'm gone."

He winked salaciously at them, before getting out of the hot spring and walking into the nearby copse of trees, so he could disappear without being seen.

Gabriel was surprised when he reappeared on the edge of the Grand Canyon. It was just as well angels were insensitive to heat, cause the sudden switch from the frozen north to here would have been a bit of a shock. 

He turned and spotted his brother, standing by a car. He wore a loose t-shirt and jeans, but that couldn't distract Gabriel from the distorted mass in his abdomen.

"Cassie, baby!" Gabriel announced, arms spread in welcome. "Long time, no see!"

It was only then, that he noted the human shadow standing next to his brother. 

"And Dean Winchester - while I live and breathe," Gabe said, although he glared slightly at Cas. "I thought you said you were alone, brother."

Dean looked shocked by his sudden appearance, his face flushing slightly.

"...You son of a bitch!" Dean snapped. "You're a goddamned archangel?"

"Well, I don't know about goddamned, but an archangel, yes," Gabe replied. "On my birth certificate and everything."

Cas looked confused.

"...You two have met?" Cas asked.

"He's the goddamned trickster that killed me, like, a thousand times at the mystery spot," Dean spat.

"Hey," Gabe said, pointing at Dean with his finger. "In my defence, I didn't _really_ kill you. I just put you and Sam inside of a small time loop, where each day ended with your untimely demise. It doesn't really count if you don't stay dead - although not staying dead is becoming a bit of a thing for you."

"That was not very nice, Gabriel," Cas warned, brows furrowing.

"But it was funny," he countered. "Look - gotta do something to entertain myself during my exile. Besides, it's their fault! They tried to kill me by staking me through the heart!"

"A steak through the heart cannot kill you, Gabriel," Cas pointed out.

"No - of course not," Gabe ceded. "But it's the thought that counts, and they wanted me dead. I was just giving them a taste of their own medicine."

"What are you, an oversized two year old?" Dean demanded. 

"Dean," Cas warned, placing a hand on Dean's shoulder. "We need his help, remember."

Dean sighed, lifting a hand to place on Cas'.

"Woah - wait up," Gabe said, as gears started to turn in his head. "You're shtupping a Winchester? Way to go native, baby bro."

"It;s not important," Cas said brusquely. 

"Really? My baby brother shacking up with a human is not important?" Gabe challenged. "And not just a human, but the Michael sword? Oh, Cassie - big bro is going to have something to say about that. Especially when he eventually gets his meatsuit. Can you imagine how awkward the family gatherings are gonna be, with them knowing that you've tapped Michael's ass?"

"Dean is _not_ going to say yes to Michael," Cas growled.

It was kind of cute the fury in Cas' eyes - like a little puppy facing down a dragon, and thinking he was going to win. If anyone else talked to Gabriel like that, he might feel the need to teach them a lesson, but... well... Cas was currently in a delicate situation, and he could hardly blame him for getting angry that anyone apart from him was going to get a piece of his boyfriend's ass, regardless of whether or not he lived long enough to see it.

Which reminded Gabriel...

"Look - as interesting as all this drama around your love life is, you did ask for me to come," Gabe said. "Something about you dying..."

"Yes," Cas replied, nodding. "It seems that your assessment about what the part of Dean's soul was doing to my Grace and vessel were correct. It has continued to grow in an uncontrolled mass, and I fear that with my recent discomfort, that it may become a threat to my life soon."

"...And?" Gabe said. "I thought you were perfectly happy having your Grace destroyed so you could continue playing happy families with your hunter here until you died."

"Cas is not going to die," Dean snapped. "Because you're going to fix him."

Gabe laughed.

"Oh, really? What makes you think I can fix him?" Gabe demanded. "And just when did you become an expert on angel Grace tumours?"

"Because I've already fixed him once before," Dean said. "And I'm just a human. We only got into this problem because I'm made out of the wrong stuff. You're an angel. If we cut that thing out and patch it up with a bit of you, he should be fine."

"I'm an _archangel_ , you moron," Gabe snapped. "Just presuming - for a moment - that I'd be willing to sacrifice a bit of my Grace to fix up old Cas here, why do you think it would be any less disastrous than using a bit of you? My Grace is made from primordial creation. If anything, it would be more likely to make Cas explode than fix him."

Dean looked gutted. Cas looked unsurprised.

"You knew this, Cassie," Gabe said sadly. "So why did you call me?"

Cas sighed.

"Because otherwise Dean was going to say Yes."

If Gabriel had a heart, he would have felt it twist from the way Cas looked at Dean right then. The love in that gaze was palpable, as was the look of despair on the elder Winchester's face. 

"There has to be a way," Dean insisted, although the look on his face told Gabe that he was starting to lose hope.

Gabe sighed.

"Look - I'm not a doctor," he cautioned. "But I'm happy to take another look. Maybe something has changed in the past three months, and there's something more we can do."

The way the angel and his lover's faces lit up, to even that slightest hope, was worth it. Gabriel just hoped he could live up to their expectations.

"Thank you, Gabriel," Cas said reverently.

"Yeah, thank me after I stop your ass from dying," Gabe said. "Now, as pretty as a spot this is, how bout we find somewhere slightly more private if I'm expected to do an angel medical exam? Or don't you mind the idea of having your prostate checked with an audience?"

Dean was about to say something, but Cas silenced him with a hand placed on his chest.

"We have a motel room nearby," Cas informed him.

"Great!" Gabe announced. "Onwards to the motel - the premiere location for underground doctors to work!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, I love Gabriel.
> 
> So I know my fic is kind of all over the timeline. I'd like to imagine it started after the confrontation with Raphael, and then because of everything that happened they didn't do most of the middle bit, including _Changing Channels_ (which is a shame, because it is my favourite ep), and now we're just after where they defeat famine.
> 
> Oh, well. At least it makes sense in my head.
> 
> Also we're now at above 60 kudos! That is so amazing! Thanks for all the love so far, and I'm loving reading your comments. Good to see my procrastination seems to be being enjoyed.
> 
> T-6 days until my exam. Eep!


	26. Chapter 26

"Okay, Cassie - get your shirt off and let's see what's under the hood," Gabriel announced, rubbing his hands together.

Dean just pouted, folding his arms over his chest where he stood, leaning against a wall, as Cas took his shirt off and lay down on the bed. Dean didn't like how big Cas' stomach was getting. It had gone from looking like just a little bit of middle aged spread to full-on swallowed a bowling ball in the last few weeks. It just looked so... unnatural, as the remainder of Cas' form kept it's lean physique.

Dean watched as Gabriel lay his hands on Cas' abdomen. He had to remind himself while watching Gabriel's hands run over Cas' skin that they were _brothers_ , and the only hope Cas had of getting out of this alive. There was no reason for Dean to feel jealous.

"Oh, hey. This doesn't look too bad," Gabriel said, surprised. "It's actually walled itself off in here pretty well. In fact, it's pretty much not connected to your Grace at all now. Should be pretty easy to just..."

"...Just what?" Dean asked when Gabriel suddenly went silent. The way the archangel's body language had suddenly shifted didn't bode well.

"What is it?" Cas asked, propping himself up on his elbows so he could look at his brother.

Gabriel's eyes were serious when they met Cas', his brows furrowed.

"Well... I guess congratulations are in order," Gabriel said, forcing a light tone to his voice. "It's a boy."

"Oh, haha," Dean said. "Very funny. Now - can you tell us if you can get rid of the tumour or not?"

"I'm not joking, Deano," Gabriel replied. "You better get ready, cause you're gonna be a daddy."

"That's impossible," Castiel said.

"Is it?" Gabriel challenged. "Cause I'm gonna bet that you've probably felt _something_ from that over the past couple of weeks. Like wriggling, or movement..."

"Quit kidding around. Cas is a dude," Dean said. "He can't get pregnant. Besides, we hadn't even... you know... when this happened."

"Cas is no more a dude than I am a songbird," Gabriel said. "He's an angel. We are no more gendered than different types of salt. Besides - who do you think you're talking to? Do you really think the archangel Gabriel would joke when it came to announcing miraculous pregnancies?"

"Maybe back in Jesus-days, but you've seemed pretty damned happy to be the Trickster for God-knows how long," Dean pointed out. "Come on Cas, tell him to quit it. The joke's not funny anymore."

Cas just grimaced, rubbing a gentle hand across his abdomen, as he wondered if it could be true. It was true that he had felt the tumour move on multiple occasions - this morning just being one of the more obvious times. But he had always attributed such sensations to it becoming more invasive in his vessel's form. And he had to admit, he had not been able to look at it as closely as his brother was able to. Given that it had anchored his Grace so firmly, he couldn't fully examine his vessel as he would otherwise had been able to.

"...Cas?" Dean asked, when Cas remained silent.

"I... I think what Gabriel has suggested may be a possibility," he ceded.

Gabriel fist pumped the air in celebration.

"You're not helping, brother," Cas snapped, looking at Dean, where he had gone as white as a sheet.

"But... how?" Dean demanded.

"The same way we thought the tumour had been formed," Cas suggested. "Your soul and my Grace mixed, and it seems like it has created life."

Dean rubbed his face with his hands, as he slid slowly down the wall to the floor.

"...Dean?" Cas asked, alarmed, sitting up so he could go check on his partner.

"I'm fine, Cas," Dean insisted. "It's just... I'm going to be a dad?"

"Sometime in the next week or so," Gabriel supplied.

"A week?" Dean asked, alarmed. "Cas didn't even get stabbed four months ago!"

"This is not a human pregnancy," Gabriel pointed out, wondering why this was so hard for Dean to grasp. "It's not like you guys got your bad thing on and you have to wait nine months for it to cook. We don't have a point of reference when it comes to what happens when humans and angels mix their spiritual mojos. All I can say, is that turkey is very nearly cooked."

"So what happens now?" Cas asked, when Dean remained silent.

"Well, you're still gonna need some help from yours truly when that thing decides it's time to say hello," Gabriel pointed out. "Unless you've recently grown a vagina I don't know about."

"And you would be willing to assist with such a thing?" Cas asked, ignoring his brother's crass remark.

"Of course. I love babies," Gabriel said, standing as he walked back towards the door. "Besides, I wanna see what the little abomination ends up looking like. Might have two heads and flippers, for all I know."

Dean swore under his breath.

"So how about I leave you two lovebirds to get used to the idea of becoming a trio, and you call me when you think the big event is starting, okay?" Gabriel said. "Cause I really _hate_ drama, and I have a feeling there is gonna be a whole lot of it up in here in about ten minutes, okay?"

Gabriel didn't even wait for an answer. He just snapped his fingers, and disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a gold star to miravisu and Umbreon for guessing my plot twist - it's an mpreg fic!
> 
> To be honest, I'm quite surprised it's taken to chapter 25 for someone to mention something. After all, I've been hinting pretty loudly since... oh... chapter one!
> 
> Now, I'm not a huge fan of the mpreg genre, but I have to say that I'm a huge fan of _The Shattered One_ by MissAnnThropic. If you haven't read it, do it! It's really well written, and it's plot makes a hell of a lot more sense than most mpregs, where they just go "angel magic!" and expect Dean or Cas to get pregnant. Or lay eggs. Or whatever.
> 
> That fic is actually what inspired me to start writing this one in the first place, cause it felt like a huge tease when at the end of it, Cas and Dean didn't seal the deal (sorry - spoilers!). So I was going to write my _own_ fic, and it would have relationship, and kissing, and angst and... babies? Not really my style, but it felt right this time.
> 
> So, yeah... Hope no one feels too bad about being tricked onto the mpreg train. It's still not too late for you to get off!


	27. Chapter 27

The silence that filled the room on Gabriel's exit was deafening.

Cas remained seated on the edge of the bed, watching Dean as he waged a quiet war within his own head. Every now and then, he took a step forward, before taking a step or two back, like he couldn't quiet make up his mind on what his next move should be. Cas didn't want to interrupt him, knowing how volatile Dean could be with his emotions at the best of times, let alone when being faced with an unplanned pregnancy.

Not that Dean was the only one shocked by this turn of events. Castiel had been alive for millennia, and not once had he ever heard of another angel getting pregnant. It should not have been possible. As immortal beings, angels had no need to reproduce. On the few occasions were angels had spawned offspring, it had always required a human female to bear the child, and it had required his brethren to inhabit a human male vessel to complete the task.

Cas brought a hand up to rest on his stomach, and grimaced when he felt it move. A baby. He was having a baby. He kept repeating that to himself in his head, as he tried to convert the swelling in his abdomen from threat that was going to kill him into what would one day be his child. His and Dean's child.

Cas felt emotion swell in his chest at that thought - that this child that he was carrying inside himself was as much a part of Dean as it was him. And like anything to do with Dean Winchester, Cas felt himself overwhelmed by a sense of fierce protectiveness. He would protect this child as much as he had ever protected Dean. He would not let any harm come to it.

Dean swore then, like something had finally clicked in his head as well, before storming over and picking their bags up, throwing them on to the bed.

"Come on, Cas. Get packed. We're going," Dean snapped, storming into the bathroom to collect their gear.

"Going where?" Cas asked.

"Bobby's," Dean said, throwing an arm full of stuff into the nearest bag. "If you've got less than a week until you pop, then I'll be damned if it's gonna happen in some flea-bitten motel room."

Dean grabbed something off the kitchen counter, and headed towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Cas asked, slightly panicked. Last time Dean had left him, he was going to go say Yes to Michael.

"To call Sam and let him know we're coming home," he explained. "Guess it's probably an idea to let them know what's going on. Give them a chance to get their head around things."

Cas had to suppress his sigh of relief. Dean only ever had two responses to life-changing events - get angry, or get practical. Cas was relieved that at least in this case, it appeared to be the latter.

"Okay, Dean," Cas said. "You go call Sam, and I'll finish packing here."

He gave Dean a hopeful smile. He wasn't naive enough to expect to get one in return, but he was glad when Dean sighed, allowing his shoulders to relax just ever so slightly.

"I'll be back in a minute, yeah?" Dean said, before exiting the room to call his brother.

Even as he was dialling his brother's cell, Dean had no idea what exactly he was going to tell him.

_Sorry, bro. Knocked up an angel. Be ready with Pampers and bottles by the time we get home..._

"Dean?" Sam's voice came down the line.

"Hey, Sammy," Dean said. "Just ringing to let you know Cas and I are coming home."

"What? I thought you guys only just got to the Grand Canyon?" Sam asked. "What happened to Disneyland?"

"Disneyland's been postponed indefinitely," Dean said. "Something came up, and we gotta go home."

"Dean - what's wrong? What's happened?" Sam asked, sounding alarmed.

"It's nothing bad," Dean insisted, even though he wasn't sure how right that was. "It's just... Look - there's no easy way to say this, and I don't want you to laugh and make a joke out of this, you hear me? Cause Cas is pregnant."

The line went silent for a moment.

"...What?"

"You heard me," Dean said. "Cas is pregnant. So we gotta come home and work out what we're gonna do."

"...Did you forget to wear a condom, or something?"

"Dammit, Sam! It's not funny," Dean said, feeling like he was going to cry. "Look - turns out there was a slight complication with using a bit of my soul to fix Cas' Grace. Turns out it's decided to create a life of it's own, so we're going to have a baby."

"Oh my God, you're being serious," Sam said, sounding shocked.

"As a heart attack," Dean said. "Which, funnily enough, it feels like I'm going to have."

"How's Cas taking it?" Sam asked, ignoring his brother's concerns for his health.

"Hell should I know," Dean said. "We only just found out like half an hour ago. Haven't really had the chance to talk it through."

"Then why the Hell are you talking about it with me?" Sam challenged. "Go talk to your angel and see how he's doing! He's going to be just as freaked out as you are, if not more, given I don't think he's ever had to worry about the risk of accidental pregnancy before."

"But I don't know what to say!" Dean said. "Jesus, it was bad enough when I thought I'd killed him. Now I've saddled him with a kid for the rest of eternity. What the Hell am I supposed to say about that? Sorry?"

"How about just that you'll be there for him," Sam said. "Man up like you would if any one of your one night stands turned up on your doorstep saying they were going to have your baby."

"Goddamn it," Dean said, running a hand through his hair. "One of the bonuses on having sex with a dude is that they're not meant to get knocked up."

"Wait... You had sex with Cas?" Sam asked, not missing the implication of Dean's words.

"...That's not how he got pregnant," Dean said, hoping he let it go.

"That's not a no, Dean," Sam pointed out. "Did you have sex with Cas?"

Dean sighed.

"Yes - okay? I am officially gay-for-angel. _Only angel_ ," he insisted. "You're not going to see me hanging out at any gay bars any time soon."

"Oh my God," Sam said.

"I don't think he really cares," Dean said.

"I mean... I always knew there was something between you and Cas - I mean, the whole 'profound bond' thing was a bit of a giveaway - but still... Oh my God."

Dean grimaced.

"Glad to see my love life is amusing for you," Dean said.

"Look - if you and Cas have finally gotten together and done the nasty, then you better get your ass back in there and apologise to him," Sam said. "It's bad enough that you're freaked out about becoming a dad, but now you're talking to your brother about it instead of your partner?"

"But I've always talked to you about everything!" Dean insisted.

"This is different!" Sam said. "Look - go talk to Cas. I'll go and let Bobby know what's going on. We'll see you in a couple days, okay?"

"Yeah, Sammy. We'll see you then."

"Go. Angel. Now," Sam said, and hung up.


	28. Chapter 28

By the time Dean joined Castiel back in their motel room, Castiel was certain of a few things. Castiel knew there was a chance that Dean would not feel the same level of protectiveness over their child as he had suddenly found himself to have. At the same time, he knew he would never turn his back on this child, as surely as he ever had never been able to turn his back on Dean.

Castiel had decided he was not going to force Dean to be a part of their child's life. Dean had never planned on being a parent, and if the universe was kinder than it had been, he never would have had to be. If that meant that their burgeoning relationship was to end as quickly as it started, so be it.

Castiel braced himself for the worst, when Dean came back in to the room. He had the beginnings of a little speech ready, and everything. But Cas never got to deliver that speech, as Dean came up and wrapped his arms around Cas' neck, and squeezed him tight.

"I love you," was all he said. 

It was all that was needed to be said. Cas felt all the tension he had no idea he was carrying melt away from him, as he allowed himself to be enveloped by his lover's embrace.

They stood that way for a few minutes, before Dean finally pulled away and held Cas at arms length.

"I'm sorry," Dean said. "I just... was a bit freaked out for a moment there."

Cas smiled.

"It's okay," he said. "I was, too. I know that you never wanted to be a father, Dean."

"It's not that I never wanted to be a father, it's that I knew I shouldn't be." Dean sighed. "Cas, the world is going to hell in a hand basket. It's the freaking Apocalypse, for God's sake. It's not the type of world you should be bringing a kid into, especially when my job description consists of 'kill or be killed'."

"My dad was a hunter, Cas. And while he was a great hunter, he was a really shitty father," Dean explained. "I don't want to risk ending up like him and screwing my kid's life over, as well."

"You'll be a wonderful father, Dean," Cas insisted.

"How do you know that?" Dean said. "I'm a pretty shitty human being. Why would this be any different?"

"Because you already are," Cas insisted. "Dean, you've raised your brother since you were four years old, effectively on your own. And despite a few mistakes here and there, he's grown up to be a good man. Not to mention that you've been like a father to me, since I came to Earth. You've taught me everything I know about being a man. I know you can do the same thing with our child."

"That's a bit of creepy imagery there, Cas," Dean said. "Maybe you could have said I was like a brother, rather than a father."

Cas shook his head.

"Oh... You know what I mean," Cas said. "But Dean, I just want to let you know that you can be as much or as little a part of this child's life as you choose. I understand that this was not your choice that this happened the way it did. I don't want you to feel compelled..."

"What? No, Cas!" Dean insisted. "Look - this is all coming out wrong. I wasn't saying that I didn't want to be a dad. What I wanted to say was that even though this isn't the most conventional way for us to have a kid, is that I'm in - a hundred percent."

Cas smiled.

"...Really?" he asked. "Are you sure?"

"Of course, you idiot," Dean said. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

Cas pulled Dean into his arms then and kissed him, partly because he could but mostly because he couldn't think of anything else to say. Dean allowed himself to focus on the way he felt in Cas' arms, trying to distract himself from the panic that still threatened to overwhelm him. He was going to be a dad!

Eventually, though, they both pulled away.

"We better get a move on, if we're going to be back at Bobby's by the time you pop," Dean said, trying to sound nonchalant. "I wasn't kidding about not letting my kid be born in a motel."

"You know, I could probably manage to transport both of us back right now," Cas said. 

"I'd rather not take the chance," Dean said. "Especially not in your condition. Besides, I ain't leaving Baby behind for nothing. Not even for an actual baby."

Cas smiled.

"Okay, Dean. Let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Seventy kudos! Thanks for all the love, guys! Glad that this fic devolving into an mpreg hasn't scared any of you off.


	29. Chapter 29

Sam was waiting on the porch of Bobby's house when Cas and Dean arrived at the junkyard. 

Sam wrapped his arms around his smaller brother's neck when Dean got out of the car, and squeezed him tight.

"Jeesh, Sam. We've only been gone two weeks," Dean said, when his brother finally released him.

"Yeah, well it seems longer," Sam said, before turning his attention to Cas when he got out of the car. He walked over and gave the angel a hug.

"...Why are you hugging me?" Cas asked, confused.

"Because that's what you do with family," Sam said. "And I hear you're family now. Like, in the physical sense."

Sam took a step back, to have a better look at Cas and his bump.

"You know, when Dean told me what was going on over the phone, I don't think I a hundred percent believed it. But, there you go," Sam said, waving at Cas' abdomen.

"Yeah, I'm still not convinced that's not where the hundred and twenty hot dogs ended up," Dean teased. 

"I'm joking!" Dean added, when it looked like Cas was about to object. "So, Sam. How much does Bobby know?"

"Well, I told him about the baby," Sam said. "And, boy. Wasn't he freaked by that one. But I haven't told him about... you know... your 'special relationship'. I didn't know how much you wanted Bobby to know about that one."

Dean groaned at Sam's air quotes around 'special relationship'.

"Sammy, look. We're fine. Cas and I are together and I'm totally cool about it," Dean said, reaching out to grab Cas' hand as though to prove a point. "I am not ashamed about our relationship, and I don't care who finds out about it. Hell, it's gonna make this whole sudden shared parenting thing a whole lot easier to explain."

Over the past few days they had spent driving back to Bobby's house, Dean had had an epiphany. Dean had been so worried when he had first accepted that he was in love with Cas that it somehow changed him. Dean had always been a man's man, and he didn't like the idea of being gay somehow affecting his masculinity. But he had come to realise that being in love with Cas did not change his identity in the slightest. He was still Dean. Being in love with a dude didn't mean he suddenly developed an affinity for glitter and all things Cher. He could still gank demons and drink at bars and drive around with classic rock playing on the Impala, and at night he could go home and fall asleep in Cas' arms and that was okay.

"So, yeah. We're gonna tell Bobby," Dean insisted. "And share a bed, and all that other lovey-dovey stuff that's gonna make you wanna puke. And you and Bobby are just gonna have to get used to it."

Dean was pretty sure if Cas smiled any harder, his face might split.

"O...kay," Sam said, raising his eyebrows. "You know, you don't have to explain any of this to me. I saw this whole thing coming a mile away."

"So you're okay with this?" Dean asked, just to check.

"Uh... My brother being in a loving relationship with a guy who can actually kick his ass and the asses of anyone who tries to harm him? Let me see... Yup. Pretty sure I'm fine with that."

This time it was Dean's turn to pull Sam into a hug.

"You know, if this whole going gay thing was going to get you in touch with your sensitive side, you should have done it years ago," Sam said.

Dean punched his shoulder.

"...Ass."

"Bitch."

And both brothers smiled.

"...Okay," Dean said. "Let's go tell Bobby the happy news."

\--------------------------------------------------

"And?"

"...And what?" Dean asked.

"Is that it?" Bobby demanded.

Of all the ways Dean saw telling his surrogate father that he was in love with an angel going, he hadn't predicted Bobby's complete lack of surprise.

"You do realise that when I say that Cas and I are in a relationship, I'm saying that we're bumping uglies," Dean said. "Not just that we're super tight friends or something."

"Well, duh," Bobby replied shaking his head. "I've known that for ages. You guys have spent most of what... the past year making bedroom eyes at each other. Besides, you idjit, I rolled in on you two making out just before you hightailed it out of here on your honeymoon. Or I guess I should be calling it a babymoon now, huh?"

Dean was surprised.

"...You what?"

"Yeah. You two looked a little bit occupied, so I thought I'd leave you two alone," Bobby said.

Dean turned to Cas.

"...Cas?"

Cas rubbed the back of his hand.

"I was aware of Bobby's presence that evening," he admitted. "I was just a bit more concerned with other matters at the time."

"Okay - for future reference, Cas. If someone walks in on us when we're being... intimate, you pull away and let me know, okay?"

"I didn't want to make things awkward," Cas said.

Sam laughed.

"Yeah, Cas. Well, you see this here? This is awkward," he said.

"Oh, leave the angel alone," Bobby said, wheeling over to where he and Dean were standing. "I think we've got more pressing issues to discuss. Don't you?"

He turned to have a look at Cas.

"So you're pregnant," Bobby said.

Cas nodded.

"Yes."

"And I'm told this is from that whole soul-patch thing you and Dean attempted, as opposed to you boys forgetting to use a condom."

"Goddamn it, Bobby," Dean grunted.

"Yes. It was an unforseen side effect," Cas said. "Although even if Dean and I had used a condom, it would not have reduced the chance of myself falling pregnant."

"Cas!" Dean snapped. "Remember our discussion about private topics?"

"Oh," Cas said. "So prophylaxis counts as a private topic?"

"Yes, Cas!" Dean said, face flushing with embarrassment. "Stop laughing, Sam!"

"I'm sorry! It's just... you two are kinda cute," Sam said. "Disgusting, but cute."

"So have either of you boys considered any of the practicalities of your impending arrival?" Bobby asked.

"We have already enlisted the services of the archangel Gabriel to assist with delivery," Cas said.

"Oh, yeah, Sam," Dean said. "I forgot to mention. Turns out the Trickster is an archangel."

"...Seriously?" Sam asked.

Dean nodded.

"Great. So you know how you're going to get junior out," Bobby said, ignoring them. "But what about all the stuff after? Like cots and diapers and clothes and how you're going to feed the little sucker. Cause last time I checked, neither of you have boobs."

"Ah," Dean said, realisation hitting.

"Let me guess - you haven't thought about it," Bobby said. "Idjit. From what I hear, you haven't exactly got a great deal of time left before the bundle of joy arrives. Just when were you planning on actually getting organised?"

"...Um..."

Bobby sighed, and wheeled over to his desk and grabbed a notepad.

"Here's a list of all the things you should need for junior," Bobby said, thrusting the notepad at Dean. "How about you and Sam go drive in to town and get some shopping done? I've written the address of the nearest baby goods store at the top of the page."

"Yeah, Bobby," Dean said. "Thanks. I'll get on that."

"And what about me?" Cas asked.

"You go put your feet up," Bobby insisted. 

"But why?" Cas asked. "I am more than capable to assist Sam and Dean on this mission."

"Oh, trust me," Bobby said. "You are _not_ gonna want to be anywhere near this mess when it happens. Go grab a book and relax."

Cas just nodded, before going and taking a seat in the lounge.

"So what are you boys waiting for?" Bobby snapped, when the angel was firmly ensconced. "Go!"


	30. Chapter 30

Castiel watched as Bobby sat by the window in his wheelchair, watching as the Impala drove out of the junkyard.

"I still don't see why I couldn't go with them," Castiel said. "The effect that carrying this child has on my vessel is minimal. I believe I could have been of some help while carrying goods."

"You're a great, feathered idjit, you know that, right?" Bobby said. "The reason why I didn't want you to go had nothing to do with you being up the duff and more with giving the boys some alone time."

"Why would they need some alone time?" Castiel asked, confused.

"So they can talk," Bobby said, wheeling his chair over to where Castiel sat. "Those boys can barely fart without sharing it with each other. Dean's gonna want to talk to Sam about how he feels about shacking up with an angel."

"But I don't see how my presence would affect their ability to converse," Castiel countered. "They do speak to each other while I'm around. All the time."

Bobby sighed.

"Look - let's just say there are some things that you can't talk to your brother about when you boyfriend is hovering over you," Bobby said. "Quite literally, in your case. You have to admit, things with you and Dean are moving pretty fast, and that boy ain't the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to dealing with feelings. He's gonna need to nut a few things out with his brother."

Castiel frowned, although he accepted what Bobby said about Dean to be correct.

"So what you're saying is that to allow open conversation with Sam regarding Dean's and my relationship, that it is better if I am not there, so he won't feel hindered in what he can say," Castiel clarified.

"Exactly," Bobby agreed. "So... If you don't mind me asking, how serious are things between you and Dean? Is this more of a friends with benefits thing or a soulmate kind of deal?"

"Well, I don't actually have a soul," Castiel pointed out. "But Dean and I are very serious."

"Good," Bobby said. "Because you know Dean. He doesn't form attachments easy, and he does even worse losing them. I'm not even sure if the boy has ever actually been in love before. So I don't care if you're an angel of God. If you ever hurt him, I'm going to hunt you down and kick your ass."

"...But you're a paraplegic," Castiel pointed out.

"I know that. It's a phrase, dumbass."

"Oh. Like raining cats and dogs," Cas said. "I must admit I was disappointed when that just turned out to be a euphemism... Although I guess it is kinder to the cats and dogs."

Bobby shook his head.

"It's beginning to make sense why you and Dean are made for each other. You're both bloody idjits," Bobby said.

Castiel couldn't help the small smile that came to his face at that. But it was short-lived, as Castiel felt something tug inside his Grace.

Castiel gasped, as he lifted a hand to his abdomen.

"Hey, are you okay?" Bobby asked, wheeling closer.

Castiel nodded heavily.

"I'm... fine," he insisted, as he felt the tension relax. "It was just the baby moving. Nothing to be... argh!"

The armrest under Castiel's fingers crumpled at the strength of his grip, as yet another wave of pain rolled through him. Even though it went as quickly as the first, it left him panting.

"Do you want me to call Dean?" Bobby asked, concerned.

"No," Castiel grunted through his teeth. "I'll be... fine. It's just..."

Castiel didn't get to finish his sentence, as another wave of pain rolled through him. He crumpled forward, as something hot and metallic rushed up his throat.

"Oh, balls!" Bobby yelled, as Castiel vomited blood. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and dialled.

Castiel just keened from the pain that refused to subside, as he lay on the floor beside the hunter's wheelchair. He knew he should be calling Gabriel, but right now it was too hard to think through the pain. And every time he almost managed to form a word on his lips, it was always the wrong one.

_...Dean..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! 80 kudos! Serious, guys. Thanks for all the love! I've never had a fic as popular before, so it means the world to me.
> 
> And I'm sorry, miravisu, but it looks like they won't manage to get their baby shower, after all. Let's face it, these guys never do things the traditional way, anyway.


	31. Chapter 31

Dean may have fought wendigos, decapitated vampires and defied holy prophecy, yet he had never felt quite as overwhelmed as he did being in the baby goods story.

"Dean - wait," Sam said, holding an arm out. "Those are the wrong diapers."

"How can you have wrong diapers?" Dean asked. "All they have to do is catch poop."

"You gotta get ones that fit, Dean," Sam said, grabbing a more appropriate pack to throw in the trolley. "Those are for 3-6 month olds. You put one of those on junior, and you're gonna have a leak."

Dean grimaced, picturing such an outcome.

"Gross," he said.

"Yeah, well. It's what you've signed yourself up for, for the next God-knows how many years," Sam said, throwing a couple of packs of baby wipes in.

"God - don't remind me," Dean groaned, rolling his head back. "Totally is _not_ something I ever saw myself doing."

"What? Being a dad?" Sam asked, pushing the trolley down the aisle.

"Well, yeah. It's not like our lifestyle really scream Pampers and play dates." 

Dean sighed.

"Really? Cause I always thought you're the type to settle down one day and be a family man," Sam said.

Dean scoffed.

"You'd be the only one," Dean said. "Besides, when have I ever shown an interest in having a relationship that lasts longer than a night?"

Sam shook his head, as Dean picked up a binkie. Sam retrieved it from his hands and put it back on the shelf.

"Apart from Cas?" Sam pointed out. "You and I both know the only reason you've never had a long-term relationship is cause you've always been on the hunt and you didn't want anyone else around as collateral damage. Seriously, dude. You're all about family. I think fatherhood is gonna suit you."

"Oh, yeah? Cause nappy changes and the Apocalypse go so well together," Dean quipped.

"Yeah... about that," Sam said, rubbing a hand through his hair. "What are we gonna do about the whole Apocalypse thing?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's not like you're going to be able to go running off into battle with a newborn strapped to your chest," Sam said.

"That's because I won't be," Dean said. "I am _not_ gonna be Dad and bring my kid on hunts. If that means I'm gonna have to say out of the fight, so be it. No child of mine is gonna be a hunter's orphan."

"We might not have a choice," Sam warned.

"There's always a choice," Dean said, picking up a blue onesie and throwing it into the trolley. "Family comes first."

"You make it sound so easy," Sam said.

"That's cause it is," Dean insisted, throwing a few more onesies in the trolley, all some variance on the theme of blue. "Screw Michael, screw Lucifer and screw their Apocalypse."

"Um... Dean? Don't you think maybe you should pick out something that's not in blue?" Sam asked. "After all, you don't know what you're having yet."

"It's gonna be a boy," he said with certainty. "Let's face it - I'm a dude, Cas is a dude. Where is it supposed to inherit lady bits from?"

Sam raised an eyebrow.

"You really don't know anything about genetics, do you?" he challenged.

"Don't need to," Dean said. " I don't think genetics has too much to say about human/angel hybrids, anyway. Besides, Gabriel said it was going to be a boy."

"And you're gonna trust the Trickster when it comes to gender identification?" Sam asked.

Dean just sighed, and threw a single white onesie in the trolley.

"There. Happy?"

Sam smiled.

"I still can't see how a baby could possibly need this much crap," Dean said, as they turned down yet another aisle of baby goods. "Jesus Christ. All they do is sleep, eat and poop."

"Pretty sure it's _because_ all they do is sleep, eat and poop," Sam said. "Takes a bit more preparation when you have to look after all their needs for them."

"I guess," Dean said, as the phone in his pocket began to ring. "Gimme a min... Hey, Bobby. Did you forget to add something to the list... Woah, wait up a sec. What?"

Sam watched as his brother's face paled. Dean didn't say anything, he just turned and ran.

"Dean - wait! What happened?" Sam asked, their trolley of baby goods forgotten.

"It's Cas," Dean said, barely breaking pace as he reached the car, unlocked the door and slid in. "Something's gone wrong."

"Is he gonna be alright?" Sam asked.

"He has to be," Dean said through gritted teeth, dropping the clutch, flooring the accelerator and speeding away.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

An unholy wail greeted Sam and Dean when they arrived back at Bobby's house. The sound came in waves, every now and then breaking off sharply before starting again.

"Thank God you're here," Bobby said, wheeling out to greet the brothers.

"Where's Cas?" Dean demanded, pushing past him into the house.

"Oh, you mean the holy smoke alarm? He's in the lounge," Bobby said.

Dean found Cas laying on the floor, where he fallen. He was on his back, hands pressed tightly to his abdomen. Dried blood caked his chin, and his clothes were plastered to his skin with sweat.

Dean didn't even think as he threw himself down to the ground, and grabbed Cas' hand.

"Hey, Cas. You alright?" he asked.

"...Dean..." Cas groaned.

"What's going on?" Dean demanded, running a hand across Cas' fevered brow. "What can I do?"

Cas' head flexed back, as he was caught in another wave of pain. The high-pitched squeal returned, and it took everything in Dean's power to not try to cover his ears.

"Where's Gabriel?" Dean demanded, when the noise stopped.

"I... I can't call him," Cas said. "It hurts too much."

"Dude, you have to call him," Dean said. "He's the only one who can make the pain go away."

"I tried," Cas cried. Dean felt his stomach go cold - Cas never cried. Cas never even felt pain. "I just... It hurts too much. I can't concentrate."

Another wave of pain, another earth shattering wail.

"Hey, Cas. Easy on the Enochian," Dean said, propping Cas up and rubbing his hand in small circles on his back. "It's okay. I'm here. We'll get Gabriel, okay?"

Cas bit his bottom lip and nodded.

"Sam!" Dean shouted.

"I'm here," Sam's voice came from immediately behind him.

"Sam - I need you to call Gabriel," Dean said.

"But I don't know how," Sam said.

"Prayer," Cas said. "Just pray. He knows you. He'll know to listen for you."

"Okay. Prayer. I can do that," Sam said, glad to be given a task to complete.

Sam scrunched his eyes shut, and prayed.

_Hey Trickster... I mean... Gabriel... Archangel Gabriel... Your holiness... Look - whatever. It's happening. Cas is in bad shape. We need you. Get your ass here..._

"My ass is here," Gabriel announced, appearing by Sam's shoulder. "What's the 4-1-1?"

Gabriel quickly surveyed the scene, and spotted his brother writhing in agony on the floor. He knelt down on the side opposite Dean.

"Hey, Cassie. It's okay. Big brother's here."

Cas reached up and grabbed Gabriel's arm, squeezing tight. If the angel were human, it would have shattered bones.

"Get it out," he demanded, pupils blown wide with pain.

"It's okay, Cassie. We'll get it out," he said calmly. "Everything's going to be just fine."

Cas' face contorted, as he screamed in Enochian again.

"Stop talking and do it!" he demanded.

"Okay. No need to be pushy," Gabriel said, standing up. "Although, I guess being pushy is kind of your problem right now. Okay, no jokes?" he said, appropriately reading Cas' glare. "So we'll just get this show on the road, then."

Gabriel clapped his hands, and suddenly Bobby's lounge was transformed, as Cas was suddenly transported on to an operating table that had appeared in the centre of the room, as quickly as the rest of the furniture had disappeared.

"Okay, tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum. Time to vamoose."

"I'm not going anywhere," Dean insisted, still holding Cas' hands.

"Oh, yes you are," he said. "You are not gonna be in here for this."

"It's my kid, that's my boyfriend. Why shouldn't I be here?" Dean demanded.

"Cause you'll get vaporised," Gabriel snapped.

"Oh," Dean said.

"Yes - so andele," Gabriel said, turning to face Cas on the table. "It's gonna get pretty bright in here pretty soon."

Sam grabbed his brothers by the shoulders.

"We'll go boil some water and get some towels," he said, pulling Dean towards the door.

"Great. I could do with some wet wraps when all this is said and done," Gabriel teased. "Now go!"

Sam pushed Dean through the door, and closed it behind them, and Dean collapsed to the floor, head held in his hands.

"He's gotta be okay," Dean said, rocking himself back and forth. "He's just gotta."

"He's gonna be fine," Sam said comfortingly, patting Dean's shoulder. "You've got yourself an archangel looking after him."

"The most damned irresponsible and untrustworthy archangel there is," Dean snapped.

"Yeah, well. Given our luck, that's probably for the best," Sam said. "It's not like we're exactly role models, either. An unconventional archangel is a good fit for us."

Dean just shook his head, looking away from the door and where a bright light started to leak under it. He hoped against hope that Sam was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't think I was going to put you out of your misery that fast, did you? I always did like myself a bit of drama.
> 
> Also, over 90 kudos! We're getting so close to the big-100! So never thought we'd get close to that. Thanks for all the love so far!


	32. Chapter 32

"Here. Drink this," Sam said, pushing a mug into Dean's hands.

Dean looked down at the cup and it's contents, confused.

"Tea?" he said, still not quite able to believe it. "You think I need tea? Where did you even find tea?"

"Well, you need something," Sam said. "And seeming I was boiling the kettle, anyway."

"Yeah. Not convinced Gabriel needs the hot water and towels," Bobby said, wheeling over to where Dean remained, sitting against the door. "You holding up okay?"

Dean shrugged.

"I gotta be, don't I?" Dean said. "It's just hard, when you're completely useless."

"Hey - you're not useless," Sam insisted, coming to sit by Dean on the floor.

"Oh, yeah? So why am I on this side of the door, then?" Dean asked.

"Cause no one wants you to turn into a great big piece of toast, you bloody idjit," Bobby said, restraining himself from the urge to slap Dean upside the head. "Your angel knows you're here. That's what matters."

Dean sighed, tilting his head back against the door.

"Yeah. Whatever."

"How long has it been now?" Bobby asked.

Sam checked his watch.

"About twenty minutes," he said.

"What's taking so long?" Dean demanded, craning around so he can face the door.

The bright light that had initially shone from under the door had long since faded, and as far as Dean could hear, there were no obvious signs of activity from within. He couldn't work out if this was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Oh, I dunno. Maybe removing a living child from a great big ball of celestial energy is slightly more complicated than scraping the cheese off of a pizza?" Gabriel said, appearing suddenly in front of the group of hunters. "Although why you'd want to scrape cheese off of a pizza, I wouldn't know. That stuff's delicious."

"Gabriel," Dean growled, pulling himself to his feet. "What's going on?"

"Hey, cool your shorts, kiddo," he said, raising his hands placatingly. "Everything's fine."

"If it's fine, then what are you doing out here and not with Cas?" Dean asked.

"Getting you, numb nuts," Gabriel said. "Or don't you want to meet the little abomination?"

Dean felt his heart squeeze.

"It's here?"

"Mazel tov," Gabriel said, slapping Dean on the shoulder. "Has a bill and webbed feet and everything, just like a platypus should."

"...What?!"

"Just kidding!" he said. "She's perfectly human looking. So how about you come and meet your daughter?"

"My daughter?" Dean asked, confused. "How can we have a daughter?"

Gabriel raised an eyebrow.

"You do know genetics, right?" he asked. "Boys have an X and a Y, girls have two Xs. Junior only inherited half your human DNA, so needed the X cause she needs mitochondria to survive?"

The way Gabriel said it made Dean sound like an idiot.

"Oh," Dean said, still not completely understanding, but not wanting to push it further.

"So do you want to meet your daughter or do you want to stand here while I teach you the birds and the bees?" Gabriel asked.

Dean just shook his head at Gabriel, before turning and trying to open the door. It didn't budge.

"Yeah... kiddo. There was a reason why I teleported," Gabriel explained. "Door kind of... melted shut. It's okay - I'll fix it. I'm just a bit too tired right now."

"So how do we get in?" Dean asked.

"Easy," Gabriel said, clapping a hand on Dean's shoulder.

And just like that, Dean was inside the lounge.

The lounge looked very different to the last time Dean was in there. The best description of it would be... charred. Every surface - floor, walls, ceiling - was black as a crisp, cracks showing from where the severe heat had scorched it. Which was what made the incongruous hospital bed with the white sheets that Cas sat on in the middle of the room even more surreal.

Cas sat bolt-upright in bed, legs crossed, with a soft bundle resting in his lap. He was staring down at the object when Dean arrived, only to turn and look at Dean, a nervous smile coming to his face.

"Hey, Cas," Dean said, walking over to where Cas sat on the bed.

It turned out the bundle that Cas held on his lap contained the baby - the smallest baby Dean had ever seen. A bright red face poked out through the folds of fabrics, eyes scrunched shut against the light. It was so surreal, to look down at someone and see so much of himself. Dean could see himself in that small face, in the shape of her nose and chin. At the same time, there was so much of Cas as well, and not just in her physical appearance, which, admittedly, she would have taken from Jimmy Novak. Dean chuckled when he spotted her pout. The action was so Cas.

Cas remained rigidly still, as Dean surveyed his daughter for the first time.

"I... I don't really know what I'm meant to do," Cas admitted, when Dean finally looked up at him. "I've never held a human child before."

"It's okay, Cas," Dean said. "You've done enough. She's perfect."

Dean leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. He wanted to do so much more, but he didn't want to disturb the bundle on Cas' lap.

"You know what, Cas? We make a pretty cute kid," Dean said, smiling.

Cas chuckled.

"I'm glad you enjoy her. Cause we are _not_ having another one," Cas joked.

Dean smiled.

"It's okay, Cas. I'll keep a condom on my soul from now on," Dean said.

He wrapped an arm around Cas' shoulders, and leaned his head against his.

"So what do we do now?" Cas asked, after a few moments of silence.

"Well, I'd like to introduce her to the family, if your brother can ever get that door open..."

"I'm getting there!" Gabriel said, shouldering the door.

"Aren't you a damned angel?" Dean said, pulling himself upright. "Mojo it."

"Kinda burned through my mojo making sure that one didn't blow up the midwest," Gabriel said. "Even an archangel has it's limits. Ah, screw it."

Gabriel made a pistol action at the door, and it exploded. Sam and Bobby looked stunned where they stood on the other side of the door, but no worse for wear. It seemed like their resident archangel had enough mojo left to direct where the shrapnel went.

"Behold! A baby!" Gabriel announced, directing the way into the room.

Bobby grimaced. There was too much debris to get his chair through.

"What are you waiting for?" he demanded. "Come on in."

"I'd love to, but I can't. Can't you clean up some of this mess?" Bobby demanded.

Gabriel shook his head, and stalked towards Bobby. 

"I don't know. Humans. _Deliver this baby. Open this door. Clean up the mess._ Jeesh. You guys don't want a lot, do you?"

Gabriel grabbed Bobby by the arm and yanked him out of the chair. Bobby was amazed when he remained standing.

"Ta da!" Gabriel cheered.

"I thought you were out of juice?" Dean asked, from where he remained beside Cas.

Gabriel waved him off.

"Seriously, something like that is so easy a seraph could do it," he said. "Now, go. Meet the baby. Don't make me regret giving you your legs back."

Bobby didn't have to be told twice. Together he and Sam made their way over to the bed, crowding around it to get their first view of the baby.

Dean took in the sight, of him, his surrogate father, his brother and his angel, gathered around his baby, and felt his heart swell.

_I have a daughter_ , Dean thought. _And this is her family._

And despite all the stresses of the previous months, Dean felt something he hadn't felt in a very long time. He felt happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww... A happy chapter to celebrate getting over 100 kudos. Seriously, still can't believe you guys like it.
> 
> Anyway, word of warning there is a high risk of me going AWOL for a few days. My exam is on Sat *eek!*. But seeming I've been pretty attached to this fic so far, there's still a risk I'll just keep on writing anyway.
> 
> Oh, well. Who cares about passing? *cries softly into my textbook*


	33. Chapter 33

It was official. Dean Winchester was in love.

Dean walked around the room, rocking the small baby he held in his arms, as she stared up at him with those big blue eyes of hers, the serious expression so closely matching Cas' that it made Dean smile.

"Oh, you are gonna cause me some troubles when you hit the teenage years, with eyes like that," Dean said. "Just as well Daddy owns a lot of guns. Yes, it is."

"Why are her eyes going to give you trouble when she is an adolescent?" Cas asked, from where he rested in bed, now that they'd moved back upstairs to Dean's room. Sam and Bobby had headed out to finish the shopping Sam and Dean didn't get to, earlier.

"Because of all the boys that will be chasing after her, cause they're so pretty," Dean said. "But Daddy won't let them anywhere near you. No, he won't."

"Dean! She's only three hours old!" Castiel protested. "It's far too early to be talking about boyfriends!"

"Hey, well. She might have a girlfriend," Dean ceded. "After all, her daddies hardly have your average relationship."

"Do you mind delaying discussions regarding our daughter's future romantic exploits until she's older?" Cas asked. "At least until she has a name."

"Yeah, that's right," Dean said, coming and sitting on the edge of the bed with Cas. "We should probably get on that. Any ideas? I'm kinda a bit stumped, seeming I thought she was going to be a boy, and all. That, and cause we had no idea she'd even exist until a few days ago."

Cas shook his head.

"I had wanted to name her James, if she was a boy," Castiel said. "As a tribute to Jimmy Novak. She wouldn't be here at all, had he not given me his body as a vessel."

"Jeesh, Cas. I didn't even think about that. What does Jimmy think of all this?" Dean asked.

Seriously, how had it not occurred to Dean before that the body Cas wore was only on loan? Worse - how much of what was going on was Jimmy aware of? Had Dean been butt-fucked by a heterosexual, God-fearing family man? He felt kind of sick.

"Jimmy Novak is dead, Dean," Cas said. "He was not resurrected when I was, after Raphael killed me. It was why I thought it would be nice to name the baby after him, in his memory."

"Oh," Dean said. 

He didn't add his internal _good_. Seemed a bit tasteless to be glad someone was dead just so they weren't spying on you.

"I'm sorry, Cas. As trendy as it is naming girls with boy names these days, I don't think we can name her James," Dean said. "I'm not going to match with Ryan Reynolds. Not ever."

Cas grimaced.

"Is there a female adaption of James?" he asked.

"I dunno. Maybe Jaime?" Dean said. "Just feels a little bit too trailer park for me, though."

The way Castiel frowned at that showed this conversation was _definitely_ going the wrong way.

"Hey - what do you think of Nova?" Dean asked, desperate to salvage the situation.

Cas' head tilted to the side.

"...Nova?" he asked.

"Yeah - it's kinda like Novak," Dean said. "But it's a bit edgy and sounds sort of rock and roll, which suits me. And Nova sounds short for supanova, which is accurate cause she's made out of heaven, too."

Cas held his arms out, and Dean passed the baby into them willingly. He tilted his head to the side, like he was weighing something up.

"Nova," Cas repeated. "Nova Winchester. I like it."

Dean smiled.

"So she gets to have my last name?" Dean asked, chuffed.

"It's only practical," Cas said. "Given that I don't have a last name."

Dean shook his head.

"Thanks for taking the romance out of that one, Cas," he said.

"...Can her middle name be Mary?" Cas asked, after looking at her further. "For your mother?"

Dean felt all warm and fuzzy for a moment.

"Yeah, Cas. I'd love that," he said, burying his face in Cas' neck and staying there. And if having his face there happened to hide the tears welling up in his eyes, well, Dean wasn't going to tell Cas that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Help me. I'm stuck in this fic and can't get out.
> 
> Also, naming babies is hard. Just as well I don't have any kids yet.


	34. Chapter 34

Sam and Bobby split up as soon as they reached town - Sam heading back to the baby goods store to get the essentials, now that they had a baby, while Bobby started to collect the materials he would need to repair his destroyed lounge.

"Hey! You're back," the shop assistant behind the counter announced when Sam entered the shop. "You and your friend hightailed it out of here pretty fast before. Is everything okay?"

Sam smiled.

"Yeah, sorry. My brother just got a phone call from his partner saying the baby was coming," Sam explained.

"Ooh! And?"

"And it's a girl," Sam said, unable to suppress the smile that came to his face.

"Congrats, uncle!" the shop assistant said, almost bouncing. "Is it your first niece?"

Sam nodded.

"Well, if you need any help with your shopping, just let me know," she said. 

"Thanks," Sam said, grabbing a trolley and heading back out into the shop.

Somehow having a baby at home made Sam feel more rushed than he had done earlier that day. He went from aisle to aisle, grabbing the immediate basics needed for caring for a baby. He smiled as he reached the clothing aisle, as he grabbed a few pink and white onesies. As sudden and traumatic as her sudden arrival had been, it was at least lucky insofar as they now knew what colour clothes to buy her.

Sam reached the baby formula aisle - his most pressing concern that afternoon - and picked up a can to read.

"Ooh, I don't think you want that one. I hear it doesn't mix well with rum."

Sam turned around, and found the archangel Gabriel standing by his shoulder.

"Hey, Samosa!" he greeted.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asked.

"Got bored," he said, leaning over to grab a different brand of formula. "Hey! This one has a bunny on it!"

Sam just shook his head, placing the can of formula he was holding into the trolley.

"You've been barely gone an hour," Sam pointed out, pushing his trolley further down the aisle.

"What can I say? Short attention span," Gabriel said, following, as Sam started to grab baby bottles from the shelf. "Ooh! Get the ones shaped like a banana."

"Any reason why?" Sam asked, turning back towards the angel.

Gabriel shrugged.

"Cause they look like bananas?" he asked. "Can you imagine drinking a banana daiquiri out of one of those?"

"They're for the baby," Sam pointed out, getting irritated.

"Well, she's related to Dean," Gabriel said. "Sure it won't be that long til she's downing cocktails."

"You're really not being helpful," Sam said, throwing a bottle brush into the trolley.

"Wasn't aiming to be," Gabriel said. "Let's face it - I've kind of fulfilled my useful quota for the day."

Sam just shook his head, stalking off down the aisle. Gabriel followed.

"Who put the stick up your ass?" he demanded.

Sam stopped, turning to face the archangel.

"Really? You wanna go there?" Sam asked. "Or have you forgotten the _thousand_ times you made me watch my brother die a couple years ago?"

"Seriously? That's what you've got your knickers in a twist about?" Gabriel asked. "Dude - didn't I just save big bro's daughter _and_ boyfriend's lives today? Not to mention I threw in pseudo-dad's legs as a bonus."

"And you think that undoes anything that you've done in the past?" Sam demanded. "You _killed_ people, Gabriel. You really think one day of being the good guy is going to erase all that?"

"Hey - I brought Dean back," he pointed out. "Again, and again, and again..."

"What about the others?" Sam interrupted, not caring that they were having this conversation in a public place. "What about the guy you threw into a wormhole? Or the one that you fed to a sewer gator? Or how many others over the years?"

"They weren't good people," Gabriel insisted. "The world is better off without them."

"Who cares if they weren't the best people? They were still people," Sam insisted. "No one has a right to choose who lives and who dies."

"Don't you boys do that all the time?" Gabriel countered. "Isn't that a bit like the pot calling the kettle black?"

"What Dean and I do is different," Sam insisted. "We don't kill humans."

"I'm not human," Gabriel pointed out. "So how is it any different?"

Sam opened and shut his mouth for a moment, as he tried to think of what to say.

"Yeah... Well..." Sam rubbed the back of his neck. "We only hunt those that have already killed. You just go around killing people cause they annoy you."

In spite of his size, the way Gabriel stared at Sam just then kind of frightened him. It could have been because of the way the air hummed around him, a reminder that there was more to the man than his outward appearance.

"You know _nothing_ about why I do the things I do," Gabriel spat, Sam taking a step backwards as the angel advanced. "How dare you presume to understand my motives? It must be wonderful to be human - to spend a speck of time on Earth and be convinced that you know all there is to know."

Sam swallowed hard. It had never been his intention to offend an archangel. And Sam wasn't stupid enough to think that just because that archangel was worn out at the moment, that he wouldn't be able to kick Sam's ass.

""Well! Gabriel announced, the atmosphere suddenly lightening. "In spite of how much fun this has been, I think it's about time I go rest my wings and all that. You have fun shopping for your brother's spawn."

And with that, he disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exams. Are. Over.
> 
> Now, back to the fic. Sorry if the writing is a bit grumpy. I kind of am as well. I hate exams!


	35. Chapter 35

Dean was sitting in the lounge, Nova sleeping on his shoulder, when Sam walked into the room.

"I swear to God, if you do anything to wake her, I'm gonna kill you," Dean warned in a whisper. "I've only just got her off to sleep."

In the nearly six weeks since Nova's dramatic arrival, a few things had become clear to Dean. The most pressing at the moment being that Nova didn't just inherit her chin from him. She also inherited his temper. 

Even though most of the time she stared at the world with those big blue eyes of hers, with a degree of quiet patience that could only have come from Castiel, when something did push her buttons, there was nothing that could be done to calm her down. And being a baby, it didn't take a lot to push her buttons. This morning, it was Bobby working on a car in the junkyard and it backfiring. That was over an hour ago now, and Dean had only just managed to stop the crying.

Sam just sighed, and came and sat next to Dean on the couch, a small smile coming to his face as he looked at his niece asleep on her father's shoulder. He lifted a finger and gently brushed it across her head.

"Hey. What's up?" Dean asked. "You've got that constipated look you get when something's bothering you."

"I don't look constipated," Sam said.

"...Sammy."

"Where's Cas?" Sam asked.

"Sleeping," Dean said.

"Cas doesn't sleep," Sam pointed out.

"But he does sometimes need a break from the baby," Dean pointed out. "Give him a break. It's allowed."

Cas had found the adjustment to parenthood difficult. Not because he didn't love Nova - in fact, he loved that child more than anything. It was just that Castiel had no point of reference when it came to children, given the fact that angels never had any. 

_Dean, what is she doing?_ had become Castiel's catch phrase, every time the baby did something unexpected - which for the first few weeks of life, was every time she cried, soiled herself or refluxed. Dean thought it was actually kind of cute watching his angel get flustered with the baby, and was kind of sad that it was happening less and less as time went on.

Having an angel for a parent did have one distinct advantage, though. Since Nova's birth, Castiel had gone back to his previous angelic lifestyle - specifically that he no longer enjoyed eating or sleeping. It meant that Dean had one thing he didn't have to worry about that most new parents did. He always got to sleep through the night, as Castiel looked after their child.

That's not to say that looking after a baby didn't wear the angel out. It did, which was why Dean had negotiated with Cas that he have 'nap time', which was when Dean would take Nova while Cas had a break. Frequently he just lay in their bed with his eyes shut for a couple hours while he contemplated the universe. Sometimes he read a book. But it was still a good chance for him to recuperate.

"Seriously, though. Don't distract me," Dean said. "What's with the stick up your ass?"

Sam grimaced. He looked at Dean contemplatively for a moment.

"I think I've found Crowley," he said.

Dean raised an eyebrow.

"Crowley? The demon who has the Colt?" Dean asked.

Sam nodded.

"The gun that can kill Lucifer," Sam reminded him.

"How good's the intel?" Dean asked.

"Pretty solid," Sam said. "Roy and Wal been tracking a string of big crossroads deals down in Minneapolis. Turns out, Crowley's been the one hitting the streets. Seeming we put out that BOLO on him a while back, they tracked him back to his mansion and called us."

Dean frowned, patting Nova's back as she stirred slightly.

"No."

"...What?"

"You heard me. No. You're not going after Crowley," Dean said, still whispering but firm.

"But he's got the Colt," Sam said. "If we're going to kill Lucifer..."

"We're not going to kill Lucifer," Dean said. "Someone else can do it. Don't get me wrong, Sammy. The thought of leaving this to someone else makes me sick, but we have other priorities now."

Dean patted the baby's back again, as though to emphasise the point.

"I wasn't asking you to go, Dean," Sam said. "I can go on my own."

"Over my dead body," Dean said.

"So, what? We're just gonna sit the Apocalypse out?" Sam asked. "Look, I get you and Cas bowing out. You guys have Nova now. You have to put her safety first. But you can't expect me to sit here and watch as the world comes to an end, just cause you're scared that I'll get hurt. Besides, if we just sit back and let the Apocalypse happen, then we'll all end up dead. Let me do this for you so you don't have to."

"I can't let you do this alone," Dean said.

"You can't stop me from going," Sam said.

"I know."

Dean sighed, and stood.

"Where are you going?" Sam asked.

"Gonna go give Nova to Cas," Dean said. "Look like we've got ourselves a crossroads demon to gank."

"Dean..."

"No, Sam. I can't let you go storming that place on your own. You'll get yourself killed," Dean said. "At least with both of us there, we have a decent chance of getting out alive. After all, he's just a crossroads demon. We can talk more about what to do with the Colt after we get it back."


	36. Chapter 36

It was late when Dean and Sam returned from what had to be one of the most surreal outings they'd ever had.

The brothers had turned up at the stately manor in Minneapolis, armed to the gills and expecting a fight. They had quickly dispatched the two demon guards at the gate, working in perfect unison that was borne out of a lifetime's experience. They had made their way in to the house, only to find the demon, Crowley, waiting for them.

"Well, it's about blood time you got here," the demon had announced upon their arrival. "I have been leaving enough freaking breadcrumbs. I've even been slumming it by going out and doing deals myself. I haven't had to do that in centuries. What's taken you so long?"

It had turned out that Crowley, much like every other supernatural being they had met of late, had plans for the Winchester brothers and the Apocalypse. Crowley's involved a coup to take over Hell, which it seemed required Sam and Dean to kill Lucifer for him. The demon had gladly handed over the Colt, pressing it into Dean's hand like it was some kind of prize, before sending them on their way.

Dean knew he should have been excited to have the Colt back in their possession - after all, it held the promise of killing Lucifer - but all it did was fill him with a sense of dread. Without it, Dean had been able to justify their inactivity on the whole Apocalypse thing cause there had been nothing that they _could_ do. As good as hunters as they were, there was nothing they could do to defeat an archangel and the devil. 

But now that they had the Colt, he knew Sam would want to do something. He always had to be the first to offer to sacrifice himself, especially when it came to saving the world. Dean knew it probably was because Sam felt responsible for the Apocalypse, and blamed himself for being tricked by Ruby and releasing Lucifer from the Pit. Dean knew there was no way that Sam was going to sit by when they had a chance to fix the mistakes he had made, and the thought of his brother sacrificing himself like that scared Dean rigid. It was only worse now that he and Cas had Nova, as he felt the need to protect his brother war with the need he had to keep his daughter safe. 

Honestly, Dean just wanted to put the whole night behind him, fully intending on curling up in bed with Cas and pretending that nothing had changed. But when Dean entered the room he shared with Cas and Nova, he found Cas sitting on the edge of their bed, blue eyes burning in the low light.

"Hey, Cas," Dean said, gently shutting the door behind him so as not to disturb the baby.

"Where have you been?" Cas demanded.

Cas' voice was as quiet as Dean's own, but there was still a distinct growl to it.

"I told you - I had to go help Sam with something..." Dean said.

"You said you were going out for a small errand," Cas said. "That was twelve hours ago."

Cas was very still as he spoke. This did not fill Dean with confidence. Cas had a bad habit that the more emotion he felt, the less he moved, probably because he didn't know how to express what he was feeling. He was damn-near statuesque now.

"I'm sorry," Dean said. "I didn't think we would be gone so long."

"What were you doing?" he demanded.

Dean sighed, as all thoughts of ignoring things for the evening went out the window.

"We've got the Colt, Cas," Dean admitted.

Cas froze.

"The Colt?"

Dean nodded.

"Some hunter mates of ours tracked Crowley down," Dean explained. "So Sam and I paid him a visit."

"You went and tracked down the demon Crowley?" Cas demanded, his voice raising slightly. "And you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't want you to be worried..."

"You thought I wouldn't be worried when you went missing for twelve hours?" he demanded. "Dean - you haven't left the house since Nova was born. You then announce you're going out with your brother and then you _disappear_ , to go demon hunting _without me_?"

"You couldn't come," Dean insisted. "Someone had to stay and look after Nova."

"And why couldn't it have been _you_?" Cas snapped, standing.

"I couldn't let Sam go on his own, Cas."

"So you would leave me and your daughter?" Cas demanded. "Do we mean so little to you?"

"You mean everything to me!" Dean insisted. "I was trying to protect you..."

"You had _no right_ to make that decision for me!" Cas snapped, walking closer to Dean.

"I know..."

"You know what I thought..."

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Cas said, pushing against Dean's chest with his hands. Dean stumbled backwards into the door. "Is that the best you can say?"

Cas' vessel hummed with an energy that Dean couldn't see, making the hairs on his arms stand erect. Cas' eyes glowed silently with heavenly wrath.

"What would have happened if you got yourself killed today?" Cas demanded, when Dean remained silent.

"But I didn't..."

"Good luck, not good planning," Cas said. "You had no idea what sort of threat Crowley would be, and you went storming in there, anyway."

"Look - I know I screwed up. Okay, Cas?" Dean said. "I promise I won't do it again."

"No. You won't," Cas said. "Cause I swear - you do that to me again, and it will be the last time you will have the chance to."

"Cas..."

Cas shook his head, his body quivering. He shut his eyes, trying to calm himself.

"We both have responsibilities now, Dean," Cas said. "As much as I love you, I know who I have to put first, and it's not you anymore. I had hoped you realised that, too."

"I do," he insisted, lifting a hand to place on Cas' face. His fingers tingled where his skin touched Cas. "God, Cas - you have to know that you and Nova are the most important things in my life. I wouldn't have left today if I didn't know that you were here looking after her. It was selfish - I know that. But I have spent my life protecting Sam. I couldn't let him go on his own and risk getting himself killed. Please, Cas. Don't be angry at me."

"I'm not angry," Cas said, opening his eyes to look at Dean. Dean was glad to see that they no longer glowed. "I was scared."

"I'm sorry," Dean insisted, pulling Cas' face to his own and kissing him.

Cas pulled away.

"Don't try to distract me," Cas insisted.

"I'm not trying to distract you," Dean said. "I just want to kiss you. It's all I've wanted to do, since I left this morning. To bury myself in you and forget about the world and this stupid Apocalypse."

Dean pulled Cas' lips back to his, eliciting an involuntary purr from Cas in response. Dean took this as encouragement, and wrapped his arms around the smaller man and pulled him closer. Cas' resistance faltered, as he wrapped himself around the hunter in response. He pressed them against the door, forcing his tongue further into Dean's mouth. Every inch of Cas' body was pressed against Dean, and yet it felt like it was not enough. He wanted to climb inside Dean's skin, much like he had with Jimmy Novak. He wanted to possess him and keep him safe.

"Cas," Dean groaned, as Cas left his mouth and started to suck and bite at his neck.

Cas just growled in response, rubbing himself against the hunter again. Dean struggled to remember the last time he and Cas kissed like this, as Cas dragged his teeth against his collar bone. God, it must have been before Nova had been born, over six weeks ago. It felt more like an eternity.

Dean dragged Cas' face up to meet his, grasping Cas by the back of the neck as their lips moved together much like their pelvis' ground into each other. Their breathing became heavy with the threat of promised intimacy, and Dean found himself struggling not to rip Cas' clothes of there and then. Dean swung Cas around and slammed him into the door with a thud. That was a bad idea, as a cry promptly came from the cot in the corner of the room.

Dean sighed, leaning his forehead against Cas' shoulder.

"Sorry," Dean mumbled into Cas' shoulder, before pulling away. "I've got it."

He walked over to the cot, where Nova was currently screaming, bending over to take his irritable child in his arms. He sighed again and shut his eyes, trying to calm himself as much as he was trying to calm the baby he held in his arms, and rocked backwards and forwards. Cas came and joined him where they stood.

"I think she might be hungry," Cas said. "I'll go grab a bottle."

Dean smiled at him, and watched Cas leave the room.

"You know what, Nov?" Dean asked. "It's not nice to cockblock your daddies. I hope this isn't gonna become a habit of yours."

Nova just continued to cry, rubbing her face into Dean's chest, looking for a part of Dean's anatomy that he didn't have. Looked like Cas had been right about her being hungry.

"Okay, Nova. Let's go find daddy," Dean said, rearranging his daughter in his arms as he went to find Cas and the formula.


	37. Chapter 37

The following morning, they all gathered around the dining table to discuss what they would do with the Colt. The gun itself sat on the table, an ominous presence that demanded attention.

"I still can't believe Crowley would just hand the damn thing over like that," Bobby said, appreciating the filigree engraving.

"Well, it seems that he's more interested in bumping off Lucifer than he is scared of us," Sam said, running a hand through his hair. "Besides, he only gave us six bullets. It's hardly enough to go waging war against Hell, now, is it?"

"More importantly, is it enough to go waging war against Lucifer?" Bobby asked, ever the pragmatist.

"I think if we miss that first short, there's not a huge chance of us getting in another. So, yeah. I think we're good," Sam said.

Bobby looked over at Dean, where he sat conspicuously quietly by his angel's side. He was slouched in his chair, arms crossed against his chest. Having known Dean for as long as he had, Bobby knew all too well what that body language meant.

"...Dean?" Bobby prompted, trying to get Dean engaged in the conversation. "You're being awfully quiet over there."

"Yeah... Well, maybe I just don't have a lot to say on the topic," Dean said.

Bobby raised an eyebrow.

"Son, I've known you since you were six years old. When has Dean Winchester ever _not_ had an opinion on something?"

"When it's not Dean Winchester who's going to be risking his ass," Dean said. "Bobby - you know on most days I'd be the first to line up for the chance to gank the Devil. But I don't see how us having the Colt improves our chances of that at all. We still don't know where the bastard is hiding out, and we don't even know if the damn thing works. I'm not gonna risk making Nova an orphan on a maybe."

Bobby sighed. Despite how still Castiel sat, Bobby had a feeling those two were in collusion.

"Crowley seems to think the Pistol will work," Sam pointed out. "So it's a little more than a maybe."

"I don't think Crowley knows either way," Dean pointed out. "Let's face it - he's not exactly lining up to take the shot himself. He's using us as his freaking kamikazes."

"Regardless of whether or not the Colt will kill Lucifer, Crowley is correct that you would stand a better chance of getting near Lucifer," Castiel added. "Especially Sam, given that he requires him as a vessel."

Bobby was shocked. He had thought from the way Dean was singing, that Castiel was against the idea entirely.

"See? All I gotta do is let Lucifer know that I want to be his vessel, he turns up, and I shoot him in the head," Sam said.

"No," Dean snapped. "Not happening."

"Why the Hell not?"

"Cause you'll get yourself killed, jackass," Dean replied. "There ain't no way that Lucifer would meet with you and not expect to get double crossed like that."

"You have any better ideas?" Sam demanded. "Cause right now, I'm not seeing it."

"Sounds like someone needs some glasses."

The unexpectedly voice that came from behind them made the brothers, Cas and Bobby turn around, only to find Gabriel standing behind them.

"Hey, guys!" he announced, cheesy smile on his face like him suddenly appearing there was the most natural thing in the world to occur. "How's it hanging?"

"Gabriel. What are you doing here?" Castiel asked, frowning.

"Nice to see you too, brother," he said, swaggering towards the table. "I just came to visit my favourite little niece, is all. Check and see how badly you and Deano are screwing up as parents, already."

Cas placed a hand on Dean's thigh, to silence his comeback. Gabriel ignored the lover's unspoken communication, head tilting to the side, as he considered the gun on the table.

"Nice pistol," Gabriel said.

"It's slightly more than just a pistol," Bobby said. "That's Samuel Colt's revolver."

"Oooh," Gabriel said, leaning down to get a closer look. "The demon-killing pistol. Looks a whole lot less impressive than I imagined it would."

"It does more than just kill demons," Sam said.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I guess it'd also kill a human in a pinch," he ceded. "Unless there's some other supernatural being that you're Hell-bent on killing?"

"Yeah. Lucifer."

Gabriel laughed.

"Yeah - you think you're going to kill big bro with _that_?" he scoffed.

"Why not?" Sam asked. "The demon Crowley seems to think it could kill him."

"That thing wouldn't even give him a bad bug bite," Gabriel said.

"How would you know?" Sam demanded.

"Uh, hello?" Gabriel said, pointing at his chest. "Archangel."

"Has anyone ever tried shooting Lucifer with it before?" Sam continued, unable to be so willingly dissuaded.

"Well, seeming the last time Lucifer was stomping around town was a few hundred thousand years ago, uh, no," Gabriel said.

"So you _don't_ know," Sam said.

"Well, no. But it's an educated guess," Gabriel ceded. "You go after Lucifer with _that_ , and you'll end up goo."

Sam looked at his brother, who pointed forcefully at the archangel, as though to say, _see_?

"Look - if you _really_ want to know, how about you shoot me with it?" Gabriel said. 

"What?"

Gabriel shrugged.

"Look - if that thing can't kill me, then it ain't gonna kill Lucy," he said.

"But you're an archangel and he's the Devil," Sam said.

"Just because you guys have given him a fancy title, doesn't mean that he's changed," Gabriel said. "He's as much an archangel as I am. Just because he happens to rule Hell, doesn't make him a demon. So shoot me. If I die, then _maybe_ you can top big bro with it. If not, no point in trying."

"But it could kill you!" Sam said.

Gabriel grinned.

"Yeah. Not that worried," he said, spreading his arms out wide. "So go on, Sammy. Shoot me. You've tried to kill me enough times. What's once more?"

Sam folded his arms across his chest.

"I'm not going to shoot you, Gabriel."

"Well, isn't that one for the books?" Gabriel said. "Fine, then. I'll shoot myself."

Gabriel lunged forward, grabbing the gun and pressing it to his head faster than his audience could counter, and pulled the trigger. There was a loud bang, and the archangel hit the floor.

"Gabriel!"

Dean, Sam and Cas threw themselves down to the floor, even as the cries started erupting from the baby that had been sleeping upstairs. It was Sam that dragged the archangel into his arms, body limp and eyes closed.

"Gabriel... Gabriel...?" Sam said, shaking him.

A groan slipped from the archangel's lips, as his eyes scrunched shut. He lifted a hand to his head, and rubbed his forehead, before pulling himself from Sam's arms. Sam was surprised when he leaned over and spat into his hand, a shiny silver bullet landing in his palm.

"Goddamn, that packs a punch," Gabriel said. "I'm gonna have a headache for a week."

"You're freaking insane!" Sam spat, before anyone had a chance to say anything.

Gabriel just raised a single eyebrow.

"Well, at least you believe me now when I say ain't no one killing Lucy with this," he said, pressing the bullet into Sam's hand and standing up. "So - now that the suicide mission is cancelled for the day, how about someone go and stop the baby from crying? My head is killing me, and that's not helping."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been awhile since I've updated. Now that exams are over, back at work, and 12hr+ days make it hard to find time to write anything!


	38. Chapter 38

"You know what, Cassie? I'm surprised. Parenthood seems to suit you," Gabriel said, leaning against the wall as Castiel sat on the bed, Nova propped up on his knees as she sucked on her bottle.

Castiel just lifted his eyes to look at his brother, remaining silent.

"Wow. Seriously, bro? The cold shoulder?" Gabriel asked, pushing off from the wall and walking towards the bed. "Sorry for not instantly assuming that you're parent-material, given that _no_ angel has ever been a parent before. Well, not really. Nephilim don't count. We were always the deadbeat dads, never around..."

Castiel sighed.

"What are you doing here, Gabriel?" Castiel asked, picking Nova up to rest on his shoulder, tea towel already strategically placed to catch any reflux, as he patted her back.

"I told you. I came to visit the baby."

Castiel just raised his eyebrow at him.

"This baby has been around for nearly seven weeks now, and you haven't visited yet," Castiel pointed out.

"Yeah, well. I've been around 14 billion years or so. Seven weeks isn't a big deal to me," Gabriel said.

Castiel stood, Nova still on his shoulder, and began to rock gently from side to side.

"Forgive me for not believing you," Castiel said. He pulled Nova from his shoulder, and offered her to Gabriel. "Here."

Gabriel's eyes widened, and took a step back.

"I thought you wanted to visit Nova?" Castiel asked, continuing to rock his child as Gabriel squirmed uncomfortably. "Don't you want to hold her?"

"Alright!" Gabriel relented, throwing his hands up in defeat. "Maybe visiting the baby was an excuse. I might have heard on the grapevine that tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumb had managed to get their hands on Colt's revolver, and I didn't want those two bozos getting themselves killed."

"Oh, don't give me the sappy blue eyes!" Gabriel said, turning away from his brother. "I wasn't doing it for them. I was doing it for you. Didn't want to leave you stuck with bubs on your own."

"...I never said you were doing it for them," Castiel pointed out. "But thank you, Gabriel. Your assistance was appreciated."

"Good," he said, rolling his shoulders. "I was starting to feel taken for granted."

Cas shook his head.

"Never, brother," he said. "Although I am surprised that you choose to continue helping me and my family."

"Of course I help. You're my brother," Gabriel insisted, returning to leaning against the wall as Castiel went and sat in the rocking chair Dean had got for their room. 

"We have a lot of family, brother," Castiel insisted. "Including two who are causing considerable disruption at the moment."

Gabriel sighed, head tilting.

"I don't want to talk about Michael and Lucifer," Gabriel warned.

"I know," Castiel said, returning Nova to rest on his knees as he rocked the chair back and forth. It was one of her favourite positions. "It is one of your defining features."

"Damn straight," Gabriel said. "I'm Switzerland. Those two are welcome to have their beef, but I'm not getting involved."

"We may not have a choice," Castiel said, wiggling his finger above Nova's face, as her eyes followed their movements. "Gabriel, I know they are your brothers - much more so than they are mine - but if things keep going the way they're headed, they'll bring the world down around their ears. At some point you will have to decide where your loyalties lie - with the brothers you abandoned millennia ago, or with the planet you made your home."

Gabriel raised an eyebrow, arms folded across his chest defensively.

"What? Like you did?" Gabriel asked. "Don't think I don't realise the only reason why you gave the big finger to Heaven was because you had the hots for a Winchester, Cassie. You can pretend to be all noble, but we all know you did what you did cause of desire."

Castiel glared at his brother.

"I did what I did because it was the right thing to do," Castiel insisted. "The Host _wants_ our brothers to fight - to destroy each other. They want the world taken out along with it. It may have been Dean who opened my eyes, but that does _not_ make my decision any less noble."

"Yeah. You keep telling yourself that," Gabriel said, pulling himself from the wall. "Stop pretending to be a martyr, Cassie. You do what you do for yourself alone. You're just as greedy and selfish as the rest of us."

"That could be true," Castiel said. "I cannot possibly know what Father's intention is for me. All I can do is continue to follow whichever path seems the right to me. And at the moment, that is to protect the ones that I love and the world that they live in."

A slight smile came to Gabriel's face.

"It must be nice," he observed. "To have people that you love."

Castiel nodded, running his fingers along his daughter's head.

"It gives me more meaning than I ever found whilst part of the Host," he said. He looked up at his brother. "You could have that too, you know."

Gabriel snorted.

"What? Think I should find some lucky lady, settle down and pop out a few rugrats?" Gabriel said. "I am _way_ too selfish to be anything other than the centre of attention at all times."

Castiel shook his head.

"You don't need to have a family, Gabriel," he said. "You just need to find someone who makes you happy."

"I do have someone who makes me happy - me," Gabriel said, thumbing his chest. "Now, as lovely as this whole touchy-feely crap has been, I think I'm going to retire the vagina and get back to the real world while there's still a real world to enjoy."

And with that, Gabriel disappeared.

Castiel just smiled to himself.

"Goodbye, Gabriel."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Gabriel. All he wants to do is belong.


	39. Chapter 39

Dean headed to bed that evening with one thing on his mind. The baby was asleep, there was a hot angel in his bed, and it had been _two months_ since he and Cas had done anything other than the occasional kiss. Time was of the essence, and he intended to take it.

Cas lay on his side of the bed, face to the wall as he read from a book. He wore a tee and boxers - normal fare for the angel, seeming he now spent what time he could at night in bed with Dean, and didn't want to crease his suit. Dean lifted up the quilt and crawled into bed, shuffling over to Cas and wrapping an arm around his waist as he pressed his mouth into his neck. Cas raised a lazy hand to rub Dean's hair, but didn't put his book down. Dean just tried to pull him closer, as he sucked and nipped along his neck.

"Put the damned book down, Cas," Dean growled into his neck, rolling the angel over.

Cas looked up at him with startled blue eyes, one arm flung out to the side holding his book. He must have seen the lascivious look on Dean's face, cause he suddenly dropped the book and smiled, before wrapping his arms around the hunter's neck and pulling him in for a kiss.

Their kiss was slower and sweeter than Dean had intended it to be, but he was glad for Cas to take the lead - for now. Dean shut his eyes and allowed his mouth to move with Cas', tongues and lips worshipping the the other man. Dean's chest ached when he heard the purr that came from Cas when he straddled him - how the Hell the angel even purred, he didn't know, but _damn_ it was hot. 

"Dean," the angel growled, Dean's name on his lips like a prayer. "We can't. Nova..."

"Is asleep," Dean insisted, sucking on Cas' earlobe. "If we're quiet, we'll be fine."

"When have you ever been quiet?"

Dean chuckled.

"Well, there's a first time for everything. Now, shh..."

Dean pulled Cas' shirt over his head and discarded it. He looked down at his lover for a moment, at the light and shadow created by the dips in his muscular frame from the light cast by their bedside lamp, before leaning forward to claim Cas' mouth again, tugging at his bottom lip with his teeth as he ground into him. 

Dean had missed this - the feel of his skin against his angel's. It was amazing how familiar every inch of Cas felt, especially given that they had not had that long to explore each other's bodies prior to Nova's arrival. His heart ached when he thought of all that time wasted. He wanted to spend this evening relearning Cas' body. He wanted to taste and feel every inch of it. And as Dean nipped and sucked his way down the other man's body, that was exactly what he intended to do.

Cas was panting by the time Dean reached the waistband of his boxers, which were suspiciously tented. Dean hooked his thumbs into them and gently pulled them down, freeing Cas' erection. He leaned forward, wrapping his lips around the head and sucking. He was strangely proud of the strangled groan that escaped from Cas' lips, as the angel reached forward to run his fingers through Dean's hair. 

Dean allowed Cas to gently guide his head up and down, as Dean used his hand to grasp Cas' shaft and match the movements of his mouth. Cas couldn't help gently thrusting into Dean's mouth, as his vessel responded to the hunter's ministrations. 

"Oh... Dean..." he panted, back arching under the building tension.

Dean would have chuckled, but his mouth was otherwise occupied. As was his hand, as he started to circle Cas' entrance with a lubricated finger. Ever so gently, he pressed into Cas, which earned him a loud, "Oh! Dean!"

It was then the crying started.

Nothing kills the mood faster than a crying baby. Dean pulled off Cas, as the angel propped himself up on his elbows, and looked over towards the crib behind the screen in the corner of the room.

"Maybe she'll go back to sleep," Dean said, hopefully, but Nova just responded to that by wailing louder.

Dean sighed, and pulled himself from the bed. Cas remained on the bed, boxers around his knees and his erection quickly fading.

"Dean, I'm so sorry," he said.

"It's fine, Cas," he insisted. "I got this."

Dean crossed around the room behind the screen that hid Nova's half of the room. She had kicked off her blanket, her legs curled up above her and her small fists shaking as she demanded attention.

"Hey, baby girl," Dean said, leaning down and scooping his daughter into his arms. "It's okay. Daddy's here."

He rocked her back and forth and sang _Wild Thing_ to her - the one song he found always settled her. And, like always, she quickly quietened, looking up at him with her angel-daddy's baby blues and smiling.

Dean smiled back.

"It's just as well you're cute, Nova. Cause otherwise I might be mad about you ruining yet another good evening," Dean said, as Cas joined them - now redressed. "Don't you realise your daddies need some alone time?"

"Dean... I'm so sorry," Cas said. "I didn't mean to be so loud."

"It's fine," Dean repeated. "Had I been on the other end, it would have been me shouting your name."

Cas pouted. That obviously didn't make him feel any better.

"You know what, Cas," Dean said, continuing to rock back and forth like Nova liked. "You and I need a holiday. Just the two of us."

"But what about Nova?" Cas asked.

"She's nearly two months old now, Cas," Dean pointed out. "I'm sure Bobby and Sammy could manage to babysit for twenty-four hours while we got some alone time."

Cas grimaced.

"I don't feel comfortable leaving Nova alone with just them," Cas said.

"Why?" Dean asked. "Dude, how many times have I trusted those guys with my life? Why wouldn't I trust them with my daughter?"

Cas shook his head.

"It's not that, Dean," he said. "I do trust Bobby and Sam. But they're just humans, and the Apocalypse is not entirely the safest time to be looking after a baby. What would happen if they were attacked and we weren't here to help?"

"You're worried about them being attacked and not having your angel mojo around to kick ass," Dean said. "Well, then that's easy. We just enlist an angel babysitter."

Cas raised an eyebrow.

"Dean, I am no longer in contact with the Host of heaven," he pointed out. "Even if I were, I would not trust any of the Host with Nova."

"Dude, I wasn't talking about the Host," Dean said, shaking his head. "As if I'd trust any of those douches with my daughter?"

"...Then who?"

"Gabriel!" Dean announced. "After all, you trusted him enough to deliver her. And he hasn't done anything too disastrous to us in awhile now. I think he's starting to like us."

Cas just frowned.

"So what do you say?" Dean prodded, when Cas remained silent. "Does big bro get your seal of approval?"

Cas reached out and pulled Nova from Dean's arms, rocking her gently against his chest as he contemplated things. Dean remained silent as he watched Cas' body relax from the proximity of their daughter.

"...Okay," Cas said, nodding. "One day wouldn't hurt. Besides, Sam can always pray to us if something does happen."

"Great!" Dean said, smiling. "Guess we better ask, then. Okay, Gabriel. You got your listening ears on?"

There was a flap of wings, and suddenly Gabriel was standing in the room with them - for some reason, wearing a kimono and not much else.

"No," Gabriel said, appraising the half-naked state of his brother and his partner. "I am _not_ gonna have a threesome with you two."

"Good, cause we weren't asking," Dean said. "Seriously, didn't you notice the baby?"

"Then why call me over here when it's obvious you two had planned on bumping uglies?" Gabriel said, folding his arms across his chest.

"Cause we _want_ to bump uglies," Dean said, refusing to be embarrassed by the archangel, "but a certain little someone keeps interrupting. We were wondering if you'd be up for babysitting duty so we could get some alone time?"

Gabriel raised an eyebrow.

"I'm a freaking archangel, you doofus," he said. "You can't just call me up cause you want to get nasty with my little bro."

"Can and will," Dean said. "So are you in or out?"

Gabriel turned to his brother.

"Seriously, Cas?" he asked. "You okayed this?"

Castiel shrugged.

"You are my brother," he said. "You are the only one who I would trust to take care of my child."

"You mean I'm the only super-powered archangel you'd trust to take care of your kid," he corrected. "Don't get me wrong, but I don't think anyone would confuse me with child friendly under any other circumstance."

Castiel nodded.

"Your Grace is definitely of benefit," Cas admitted. "Please, Gabriel. Nova is precious to me. I would be unable to leave her if I was not perfectly sure that she would be protected."

Gabriel sighed, and stretched out his hands.

"Fine," he said, sounding very put upon. "Hand over the little abomination. You guys can go get freaky without us."

"Uh, not right now," Dean said, stepping forward slightly to shield his child from the angel's grasp. "We gotta wait until Sam's awake."

"Why?"

"Cause you're gonna be sharing babysitting duties," Dean said. "Cas may insist on having an angel around, but I insist on having my brother around."

"You want me to share with Samantha?" Gabriel asked, affronted. "You don't trust me with your child alone."

"God, no," Dean said. "Let's face it - you haven't exactly been the most trustworthy angel in the past. And given most of the angels I've met, that's saying something."

Gabriel grimaced.

"So when is your romantic rendezvous planned for, then?" he asked, folding his arms across his chest. "Cause I have a life, you know. I'm not going to cancel any plans for this."

"How bout tomorrow morning?" Dean asked. "We'll leave around nine, be back by nine the next day."

Gabriel sighed.

"Fine," he said. "But until then, I'm gonna get back to my hot spring. Looks like I'm gonna need to get as much relaxation as I can before tomorrow."

And with that, he disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I've been a bit lax updating this fic, but I was not going to miss Supernatural Day! (I'm in Australia - it comes a day early).
> 
> Hope it's worth the update!


	40. Chapter 40

"So you've got everything you need? Bottles, formula, diapers..."

"Cas - it's okay. We're good," Sam said, shouldering the baby bag Cas had packed for them, Nova tucked into the crook of his arm. "Besides - you guys live here. _All_ of her stuff is here."

"And do you know the correct temperature to heat her formula to?" Cas asked. "You heat it to one hundred and fifty-eight degrees and then cool it under running water. There is a thermometer in the bag so you can check."

"Hey - Cas. It's okay. Sammy's got this," Dean insisted, squeezing Cas' shoulder. "It's only twenty-four hours. We have an archangel on babysitting duty, and Sam's got an angel blade in case the archangel acts up." - Gabriel snorted - "Besides, if anything happens, Sam will pray to you and we'll zap back in a jiffy."

Cas grimaced, reaching up to rest a hand on Dean's. Dean leaned in and kissed his cheek.

"Disneyland, Cas," he said. "We're going to Disneyland. Think about Disneyland."

Cas turned to face Sam and Gabriel.

"You will call us if anything happens," he warned, blue eyes serious.

"Yeah, yeah," Gabriel said, pulling himself from the wall where he'd been leaning. "Cause you're so much more capable of kicking someone's ass then... oh... _an archangel_."

"It's all about the motivation," Cas said, folding his arms across his chest again.

"Hey, Cas," Dean said, turning Cas to face him. "You know I'd normally be all for picking a fight with an archangel, but the longer we spend here arguing, the longer the lines are gonna be at Disneyland and the later we will be getting to our hotel tonight."

Cas sighed.

"Okay, Dean. Let's go to Disneyland," he said.

He grabbed Dean's shoulder, and they disappeared.

"So," Gabriel said, turning to face Sam and the baby. "What first? Hookers or blackjack? What? I'm kidding! So where do you guys keep the TV? I think there is meant to be a _Doctor Sexy, MD_ marathon on..."

\---------------------------------------

The day Sam and Gabriel had spent together watching Nova had been surprisingly uneventful so far.

Sam had looked after most of the day-to-day activities - the feeding, nappy changes and bathing - and hadn't really expected Gabriel to get involved in her care beyond physically just being there in case of emergency. But the archangel had surprised Sam when he'd decided to play with Nova when she was spending time on her playmat, conjuring bright lights and bubbles for her to play with.

Sam had just settled Nova down for a nap after her afternoon feed, and had somehow found himself sliding onto the couch beside the Trickster to watch TV - a rather large, flat screen TV that had _not_ been in Bobby's house that morning when he'd arrived.

Gabriel had refused to watch _Doctor Sexy, MD_ on Bobby's TV, saying that his TV was almost as old as he was, and had conjured his own. He did promise to remove the TV before Bobby arrived home from the Hunt he was on with Rufus, so Sam had figured the temporary addition was okay. Besides, the resolution on it was phenomenal.

"Dude, get it right!" Gabriel shouted at the screen, as the TV doctor slice into their patient's chest. "That's not how you perform a thoracostomy!"

"As if you'd know," Sam said, looking at the angel.

"Damn straight I would," Gabriel said. "I've dabbled."

"At being a cardiothoracic surgeon?" he challenged.

Gabriel nodded.

"I've been on Earth for over two millennia now. You gotta do something to keep yourself entertained," he said. "Besides, being a cardiothoracic surgeon is a _great_ way to pick up chicks. Much better than being a gynaecologist."

Sam lifted an eyebrow.

"Oh, really? I thought you just conjured the women you spent time with," he said.

"It's more fun when they're real," Gabriel said. "Like with boobs."

He made squishing motions with his hands.

"Oh, I know," Sam said. "I'm just surprised a real woman would want to spend time with you."

Gabriel grasped his chest.

"Ouch, Samboy," he said. "That one hit. How is my fragile ego gonna cope with a burn like that?"

"I'm sure you'll cope," he said, turning back to face the screen, where the fictional patient had died.

"You know," Gabriel said, continuing to stare at the screen. "I was also a God there for awhile there, too."

"What are you trying to do? Impress me?" Sam asked.

Gabriel shrugged.

"Why would I do that? I know you don't like me," he said, turning to look at Sam. "Just thought you might find it interesting to know you have a God in your midst."

Sam shuffled to face the angel.

"How does that work, anyway? Calling yourself a God," Sam said. "Cause you know, there's only like, one God. Your dad."

"Well... Yeah... I mean, Pops is _the_ God, but, like, there's other kinda... demi Gods. You know, like Ganesh or Zeus or Odin. They're powerful beings that have taken a role in caring for their particular part of the world. They're just as legitimate as Pops is, and a damn-sight more involved."

"So who were you, then?" Sam asked, genuinely interested by this point.

"Loki," he said.

"You're shitting me," Sam said. "You're not Loki."

"Uh, hello - the Trickster god?" Gabriel pointed out. "I got myself adopted by Odin, and he bestowed the title on me. Thought it suited my personality. I could hardly give him my real name, given that demi Gods have a chip on their shoulder when it comes to angels, so I chose the name Loki."

"Seriously?" Sam asked.

Gabriel nodded.

"So, yeah. Next time you and your brother get all bitchy about me and my tricks, you should understand that you're standing in front of divine will," he said. "...Actually, scrap that. You dudes enjoy ignoring God's will way too much."

"Oh, come on. I call bullshit," Sam said. "You don't go around 'tricking' people because you're a god so you have to do it. You do it cause you like it."

"Which came first? The chicken or the egg?" Gabriel countered. "How long have a watched you humans being a shit and getting no comeuppance for it? All I chose to do is level the playing field."

"Who gave you the right to do that? Cause it certainly wasn't God," Sam said. "Cas told us. You ran away from home, and not even daddy could find you."

Gabriel's face clouded over.

"I didn't run away. I chose to leave," he said.

"But why? The life of an angel was too hard? Decided to become a God instead?" Sam poked.

"You have no idea what my existence was like in Heaven. I was a good son - and not even the favourite son. Hell, I was pretty much forgotten. But I loved my Father, and I would do whatever I had to to make Him happy. But Dad was not content with the love of myself or my brothers. He kept going out and making new things to play with," Gabriel said bitterly. 

"It shouldn't have been surprising when Lucifer became malcontent. He gave you free will, but expected us to be obedient. And then when Lucifer challenged Father, He banished him instead of addressing the reason Lucifer was upset in the first place. Father may have loved us first, but He did not love us best. We were his family, but he wanted us to be his servants. His messengers. When Lucifer was sent to the Pit, I made a decision. I was not going to be His messenger any longer."

There was a sad look in Gabriel's eyes when he spoke. It was not the usual arrogance Sam had come to expect from the Trickster. Sam didn't know quite what to do with that.

"You love Lucifer, don't you?" was the only thing he could come up with.

"Of course," Gabriel said, eyes not shying away from this fact. "He's my brother."

"But he's the Devil," Sam pointed out.

"That's just a title someone else gave him," Gabriel said. "Underneath, he's still just Lucy to me. He's my big brother. He's the one who showed me how to cast illusions. Who would cover up for my mistakes when Michael was being particularly wrathful. He was Father's favourite son, and the brother that I always looked up to and wanted to be. You can't undo an eternity of love because of one mistake."

Sam shook his head.

"I guess I don't understand," he said.

"If it were Dean, wouldn't you feel the same way?" Gabriel challenged. "Would anything stop you from loving him?"

"Well, no," Sam ceded. "But my brother isn't a super-powered archangel Hell-bent on destroying the world."

"He's close enough to," Gabriel said. "His refusal to accept Michael could be the end of you all."

"So you think Dean should just give in and be Michael's vessel?" Sam asked. "What? Should I just give in and say Yes to Lucifer?"

"I didn't say that," Gabriel said, reaching out to grab Sam by the arm. "I don't want that. I don't want this fight."

"Well, I don't think you can stop it. Regardless of whether or not Dean and I say yes," Sam said.

"Whatever happens, I am always going to be the one that loses," Gabriel snapped, the air starting to hum around him. "My brother's fight, and one of them will lose. I will watch a brother die, and for what? Some stupid planet that neither of them really give a shit about, anyway. They're just doing this to prove a point, and they're willing to destroy the Earth to do so."

"Then help us," Sam said, the hairs on his arms standing on end as he reached up to place a hand over the angel's that gripped his arm. "Help us end this war. Help us save the Earth."

"I can't!" Gabriel said, standing up. "I can't hurt my brothers."

"Well, they'll just do it themselves, then. You know that," Sam said.

"Stop it," Gabriel warned, standing.

"Michael and Lucifer are going to destroy the world, and they are going to destroy each other," Sam said. "And you're going to let it happen."

"Stop it!"

There was a sudden bang, as the TV exploded along with the glass from the windows. Sam covered his head to shield himself from the shower of sparks from the light bulbs shattering above his head. The high-pitched whine that had started when Gabriel got upset just intensified, the ground under their feet vibrating from the energy.

"Jesus Christ, Gabriel, get a hold of yourself!" Sam shouted above the din.

"It's not me!" Gabriel insisted, turning and running through the room, feet as steady as they would be on solid ground. 

Sam tried to follow, but kept stumbling unsteadily. He finally reached where Gabriel had scooped Nova into his arms, who continued to scream with an inhuman high-pitched wail.

"What's wrong with her?" Sam asked, covering her ears. "Is this her?"

Gabriel just rocked her back and forth, mumbling in Enochian to her until she calmed and the shaking stopped. When he was convinced that she had fully settled, he looked up at Sam, who was not entirely convinced his ears were not bleeding.

"She was upset that we were fighting," he said, shoving the child into Sam's arms. "Take her. I gotta go."

"Go where?" Sam asked.

"I gotta go blow some shit up," Gabriel said, looking panicked. "Sam, that baby just released a HELL of a lot of energy. Any angel or demon on Heaven or Earth is gonna have felt that, and they're gonna want to come looking for what caused it. If I'm fast enough, I can discharge enough energy to mask her aura, and they might buy that it was just me being a shit. Be ready. There's gonna be incoming."

And with that, he disappeared.

Sam almost fell over when the ground literally shook under his feet. He clutched his niece to his chest, trying to make sure that he didn't drop her. The vibrations settled after a moment, and Sam found himself stumbling towards the desk where he left the angel blade, and grasping it.

Nova started to grumble again, and Sam started to rock her and make shushing noises, hoping to prevent another outburst.

"It's okay, Nova," he said, every nerve in his body humming with a nervous energy. "It's okay. Uncle Sam is here."

Sam spun when he heard the sound of wings around him, angel blade at the ready. Someone caught his arm and twisted, causing him to drop the blade. It was only then that he recognised the shapes that had joined him in the dark, one of them wearing a trenchcoat and Mickey Mouse ears.

"Sam - what the Hell?" his brother asked. "What happened?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit - 40 chapters? How did I even get here? This was meant to be a short fic...
> 
> Speaking of not-short, I'm breaking this chapter into two, otherwise it's just gonna go on forever. This is where the plot starts moving again, and hopefully is heading towards an ending.


	41. Chapter 41

"Sam - what the Hell?" Dean asked, grasping the hilt of the angel blade that Sam had tried to stab him with. "What happened?"

It had all happened so fast. He and Cas had been heading down the down-slope of Big Thunder Mountain, when suddenly Cas had grabbed his shoulder and they had been transported home. It was just as well Dean had fast reflexes, otherwise the angel blade his brother had aimed at him might have met it's mark.

"...Dean?"

"Where's Nova?" Cas demanded, pushing Dean aside as he claimed their child from Sam's arms. "Is she okay?"

"Nova's fine," Sam insisted, willingly handing the infant over.

"Seriously - what the Hell happened to the room?" Dean demanded.

"Nova happened," Sam said. "She got upset, then next thing you know, everything started breaking."

"You sure it wasn't just Gabriel playing a trick?" Dean asked.

"It was Nova," Cas confirmed, as he lovingly checked the infant over for injuries that didn't exist. He looked up at Dean with blue eyes. "I could feel her aura from the ride."

"But Nova's a _baby_ ," Dean said. "She can't do... this."

He waved at the carnage around her.

"Can and did, sugarplum," Gabriel added, reappearing in the room, looking slightly haggard.

"What did you do to my baby?" Dean demanded, turning on the angel. 

He didn't care if he _was_ an archangel. If he had done anything to hurt Nova...

"You feel them coming, don't you?" Gabriel said, completely ignoring Dean as he addressed his brother. "You guy's gotta go."

Cas clutched his daughter closer to his chest.

"But Gabriel..."

"I'll hold them off," he said, walking towards where Dean and Cas stood side-by-side. "Go."

Gabriel slapped a hand on either man's shoulder, and they disappeared. He turned to face Sam, his face tense.

"Where did they go?" Sam demanded.

"As far away from here as I could send them," Gabriel insisted. "Look - Sam. Shit is about to go down. I did my best to cover up Nova's temper tantrum, but a burst of energy that large is gonna draw attention. My brother is coming, and I need you to be with me when he does. Can you do that?"

"You don't mean..."

"Lucy!" Gabriel announced, smile suddenly plastered to his face as Sam spun around to find the Devil in Bobby's lounge.

Lucifer did not look well. His skin was sallow, face pocked with sores as his vessel crumbled under the intensity of his Grace. 

"Gabriel," Lucifer said. "Long time, no see, little brother. I had heard that you were dead."

"Yeah, well, the rumours of my demise have been greatly exaggerated," Gabriel said jovially, walking towards where his brother stood. 

Lucifer kicked a book that had fallen to the floor.

"Evidently. I felt your little outburst from Pittsburgh," he said, folding his arms across his chest. "You feeling okay, little brother?"

"Yeah, no. I'm fine," Gabriel said. "Sorry. Just got caught up in the heat of the moment. Let my emotions get the best of me."

"You blacked out a third of the United States because you were in a bad mood?" Lucifer asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well... You know how temperamental I can be," he said. Sam was surprised when he felt Gabriel's hand land on his shoulder. He shook him off. "Sam and I were watching TV when I went to make a move, and the ass completely turned me down."

It was then that Lucifer finally turned to look at Sam, his eyes widening like he had only just realised that he was there.

"Sam Winchester," he said. "Where is your brother?"

"Off on his honeymoon," Gabriel interrupted, trying to draw the attention back to himself. "Given the whole Apocalypse thing, he decided to grab life by the balls... Well, by Cas' balls."

"Honeymoon? With Castiel?"

"Yeah. Didn't you get the invite?" Gabriel asked. "Didn't think I saw you there. And I had a pretty good view, seeming I was the one that walked Cassie down the aisle."

"Our brother has... coupled with the Michael sword?" Lucifer asked.

"Yeah, I know," Gabriel laughed. "Michael is gonna be so pissed when he hears little bro has already taken his vessel for a ride, if you know what I mean?"

Lucifer shook his head.

"Wait," he said. "What do you mean that you made a move on Sam and he turned you down?"

Gabriel raised an eyebrow at him.

"Means exactly what I said, Lucy," Gabriel said. "Come on - your vessel is a fine piece of ass. Why wouldn't I try to tap that? Just a shame gay panic got the better of him."

Sam looked at the archangel, wide-eyed.

"You... tried to have intercourse with my vessel?"

Lucifer looked horrified. The fact that his face was decaying didn't help the look.

"Sex is great!" Gabriel insisted. "You should try it sometime. Actually... probably not. With that vessel, something important would probably fall off."

Gabriel made a face, and wiggled a finger at his brother to indicate which piece of his anatomy would fall off.

"You _CANNOT_ have intercourse with my true vessel!" Lucifer snapped, sounding very much like the annoyed big brother.

"Are you just upset that he'd say Yes to me and not to you?" Gabriel asked lasciviously, before turning to Sam. "Cause just so you know, Samosa, I would make you say Yes. Over, and over, and over again."

Even though Sam knew Gabriel was just saying it to rile Lucifer up, he couldn't help the blush that came to his face.

Gabriel sighed, and shook his head forlornly. 

"Don't get your knickers in a twist, Lucy. Old Sammy here is so far in the closet he is the new Prince of Narnia," Gabriel said. "So don't worry. His sphincter is firmly intact."

Gabriel turned to look at Sam and winked.

"For now."

"I had forgotten how impulsive you were, little brother," Lucifer said. "And here I was coming to visit to see if you would join my side. Given that you have also rebelled against the Host of Heaven."

"Yeah, not a chance in Hell, bro," Gabriel said. "I left Heaven to get away from all the family politics. You should know better than to think I'd pick sides."

"Michael never respected you," Lucifer said. 

"The feeling's mutual," Gabriel said. "Still doesn't mean I'm gonna help you kill him."

Lucifer shook his head.

"As long as that same decision applies to me as well, I can cope with that," he said. "It would be a shame to kill you, Gabriel. You were always my favourite brother."

"You have good taste," Gabriel said. "Shame it can't be said for your other lifestyle choices."

Lucifer turned to face Sam, then, evidently finished with his conversation with his brother. 

"I hope my brother has not been too bothersome this evening," Lucifer said. "It would be a shame if the good will we'd developed was ruined by my brother's indiscretions."

"We _have_ no good will," Sam snapped, folding his arms across his chest. 

Lucifer smiled.

"You say that now. But one day, you are going to say Yes to me," he said. "And Gabriel - if I find out that you have done anything to desecrate my vessel before that day, I _am_ going to kill you."

"Good to know," Gabriel said. "Sex is always more fun when paired with a sense of danger."

"I'm not having sex with you, Gabriel," Sam snapped, feeling the need to add something to the conversation.

"Of course not, sweet cheeks," Gabriel said, patting Sam on the ass. "Don't get your panties in a twist. You know it makes Daddy sad when you do that."

"Ugh!" Lucifer announced, throwing his head back and covering his face with his hands. "Gabriel!"

"If you don't like it, you don't have to watch," Gabriel snapped. "So how about you go vamoose, while I feel up my moose?"

"Gabriel!" Lucifer and Sam shouted in unison.

Lucifer pointed at Gabriel.

"I'm beginning to think I preferred it when I thought you were dead," Lucifer said.

"I think I preferred it when you thought I was dead, too," Gabriel said. "Goodbye, Lucy. Hope you don't end the world before I see you next."

Lucifer just shook his head and vanished.

Gabriel gave a loud sigh of relief, as he turned to face Sam.

"Damn, that was close," the angel said, laughing. "Look - Samboy. Sorry about the whole joking about having sex with you. I needed something that would distract Lucy and..."

Sam didn't know who was more surprised - him or Gabriel - when he pulled Gabriel into his arms and kissed him. He just pressed his lips hard to the archangel's for a moment, before pulling away, cheeks reddening. Gabriel just looked stunned.

"Uh... Yeah..." Sam said, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's fine."

He turned and headed up the stairs, tripping over a coffee table as he tried to put as much space between himself and the archangel as possible.

Seriously, what the Hell was that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously - how did I end up flirting with the idea of Sabriel? I've never been that kind of girl.


	42. Chapter 42

Dean stumbled as his feet hit the ground that hadn't been there a moment ago. He stood on a tree lined avenue, old brick terraces and heritage street lights lining both sides of the street. Wherever he was, it very much was not South Dakota. Didn't look like anywhere is the Midwest, even.

"Cas?"

"I'm here, Dean."

Dean swung around, and found Cas - still wearing his Mickey Mouse ears - standing beside him, Nova still held tight to his chest. He felt his chest relax as his daughter's eyes met his own, eyes a vivid blue under the pink of the setting sun. He reached out and retrieved his daughter from Cas' grasp, his body relaxing further from her proximity.

"Do you mind losing the ears, Cas?" Dean asked. "Kinda out of place now we're not at Disneyland anymore. Speaking of which - where are we?"

"Oh. Sorry," he said, pulling the ears from his head. Dean didn't fail to notice how the ears disappeared. Cas' eyes narrowed as he inspected the street they stood on, and he turned in a circle slowly. "I believe it might be Vancouver."

"Vancouver!" Dean exclaimed. "Why the Hell did your brother send us to Vancouver?"

"I believe Gabriel was trying to put as much distance between ourselves and Lucifer as he could whilst keeping us on the continental US," Cas said.

"Yeah, well he made a mess out of that, then," Dean snapped. "Cause we're on the wrong side of the border, and none of us have passports."

Dean looked around quickly, to see if anyone was around to hear him. Thankfully, whatever street they had landed on, was completely deserted at this time of day.

Dean frowned.

"Where's Sam?" Dean asked, finally noticing his brother's absence.

"I believe he remains in Sioux Falls," Castiel said. "I don't think Gabriel had enough time to transport him as well before Lucifer's arrival."

"You mean my brother is stuck back there with Lucifer?" Dean demanded, starting to bounce Nova to relieve some of his nervous energy.

"Out of all of us, Sam is probably the safest in Lucifer's presence," Castiel said. "After all, he requires Sam's consent to acquire his vessel. Up til now, he has not pushed the issue."

Dean swore.

"How are we gonna get home?" Dean asked.

"We can't." 

Cas reached out to place a hand on Dean's arm. 

"At least, not yet. Dean - Lucifer can never know of Nova's existence," Cas said, his eyes urgent. 

"Why?" Dean asked cautiously. 

The way Cas had said it, it sounded that it was more important than just not wanting him around their child, which Dean understood.

"You remember Jesse, the demon spawn," Cas said. "You remember the strength that he had from his mixed parentage."

"...Yeah?"

"Nova is part angel and part human," Cas pointed out. "Even if she was just a normal nephilim, her powers would be far greater than that of Jesse. But Nova was not created by conventional means. She was produced by the mixing of an angel's Grace and a human soul. One cannot predict the strength that she will come to have as she grows. That is something Lucifer would be greatly interested in procuring."

Dean reflexively gripped his daughter tighter. He looked down at where he cradled her in his arms, as she waved a chubby fist at him and smiled.

"But she's just a baby," Dean said.

"Lucifer will see her as a weapon," Cas said. "He would do anything he needed to to use her as such."

"I'd like to see the fucker try," Dean growled. "I don't care if he's the Devil. If he so much looks at Nova, I'll _destroy_ him."

Cas smiled warmly, and squeezed Dean's shoulder.

"I know," Cas said, his voice weighted with love.

Dean sighed, trying to release some of the tension he was feeling.

"So where do we go from here?" he asked, looking around the street they stood on.

"Well, we don't have any of Nova's belongings," Cas pointed out. "We will have to procure some necessities - like formula and bottles and diapers. We also have to find somewhere to base ourselves while we figure out our next steps from here. Do you have your wallet with you?"

"Well, yeah," Dean said, patting his pocket to check that it was still there. "Thank God for ATMs. We should have enough money to keep us solvent for now. Here - take Nova."

He passed the child over to Cas, and retrieved his mobile from his pocket.

"What are you doing?" Cas asked. 

"Calling us an Uber," he said, inwardly cursing how high his phone bill was going to be with the international roaming. "We can't keep standing here on the street all night. Besides, we got some shopping to do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I forgot to add - I'm probably going to be AWOL for a few days because IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!
> 
> SO close to sharing with Castiel, but not quite!
> 
> Anyway, so I'm headed off for the next 5 days to spend time with family + friends, so I'm not going to have time for fic writing. I hope you guys survive the hiatus!
> 
> I'd love to hear about your thoughts in the interim, especially where you think this fic will be going. I want to see if it line up with my vision! So let me know!


	43. Chapter 43

"What in blazes happened here?!"

Bobby had been gone three days - _three_ days! - and he had come home to find his home - and most of the surrounding town - for want of a better word, smote to Hell.

The towers of junkers that surrounded his house had fallen like dominoes, radiating outwards from it like a flower. Or maybe a dandelion was a better metaphor, seeming some cars had been blown away entirely, scattered around the previously clear spaces of the yard. The house itself was like a bomb went off. The better part of his roof was missing, as was both his chimneys. Every single window in the house only had shards of glass remaining. Glass mixed with the gravel outside, making the ground he walked upon look like glitter.

The inside of his house didn't fare much better. Even before trying, Bobby knew the lights wouldn't turn on. Yet for some reason he still felt the need to flick them on and off pointlessly.

"Balls," he said, shaking his head before walking into the lounge.

"Sam? Dean?" he shouted. "Where the Hell are you boys?"

Bobby heard some stomping above his head, the Sam appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Hey, Bobby," he said sheepishly, running a hand through his long locks.

"Don't you _hey, Bobby_ me, boy. What the Hell have you boys done to my house?" he demanded.

"We didn't do anything!" Sam insisted, rushing down the final stairs to meet Bobby. "Well, not us specifically."

"You better start talking, boy, or I don't care how freakishly big you are, you're getting an ass-whooping."

Sam raised an eyebrow.

"Look - basically Dean and Cas decided to have a bit of alone time, so they left me and Gabriel with the baby..."

"Wait - that winged bastard was here?" Bobby interrupted. "Was he the one who destroyed my house?"

"No!" Sam said. "Well, mostly not..."

"Explaining!" Bobby snapped.

"So Gabriel and I was babysitting Nova when she got upset. Was kinda like an earthquake happening. Ground shaking, things falling, glass breaking..."

"You're telling me the _baby_ did this?" Bobby asked, surprised.

"Well, mostly," Sam said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Gabriel then helped out and smashed the rest to cover up the tantrum from other angels."

"The baby," he repeated.

"She is made out of angel stuff, Bobby," Sam explained. "Only makes sense that she picks up _some_ of their skills. Not her fault she's only two months old and doesn't know how to use it yet."

Bobby sighed.

"So where is the little cherub and her daddies now?" Bobby asked.

"No idea. Gabriel zapped them somewhere when Lucifer was incoming."

"Wait - Lucifer was here?" Bobby asked, horrified.

Sam nodded.

"He felt the wave of power and came to investigate. Gabriel managed to scare him off, though," he explained.

Sam thought of his impulsive kiss of the archangel, and blushed. He hoped his surrogate father wouldn't notice.

"Seriously, Sam. I've only been gone three days," Bobby repeated.

Just then, Sam's mobile started ringing.

"Dean," Sam breathed with relief down the line. "Are you guys okay?"

"Hey, Sammy. Yeah, we're fine. Everything's cool," Dean said. "We've just bunkered down in a hotel for the night."

"Oh, that's good... Wait - a hotel?" Sam asked, not missing the subtle change in Dean's usual pattern.

Sam could almost hear Dean rubbing his neck.

"Yeah... well... We got Nova now. Can hardly keep hanging out in skeezy motels," Dean explained. "Besides, we're on the lam. Gotta change our pattern somehow."

"So where did Gabriel end up zapping you guys, anyway?" Sam asked.

"Can't say."

"You haven't figured it out yet?" Sam asked. "Dude - seriously. Find some hotel stationary. There will be an address on it..."

"I know where I am," Dean snapped. "I just can't tell you where we are."

"...Why?"

"Dude, the freaking _Devil_ is sniffing around there trying to find us," Dean said. "I'm not gonna tell you where we are so he can zap here."

Sam was stunned.

"You think I'm gonna tell _Lucifer_ where you guys are hiding out?!" Sam asked, affronted.

"No, of course not. But given that he's now been at Bobby's, it's no longer a good safe house," Dean said. "So you're gonna do us a solid, and come here."

"How am I meant to do that, when you won't tell me where you are?" Sam demanded.

"Baby steps," Dean said. "Seriously, Sammy - you think I don't trust you? It's the location you're in that I'm having trouble with. God only knows what Lucifer mojo'd it with while he was there. So are you gonna come and join us, or what?"

"...Yeah, well... Of course," Sam said.

"Great," Dean said. "Now - I'm really sorry, but I've got some work for you before you can come and join us. Do you remember where I keep my actual passport?"

Sam raised an eyebrow, even though he knew Dean couldn't see it.

"...You're _actual_ passport," Sam said. "The one you never use, cause you hate flying. That passport."

"Yes, Sam," Dean said, irritably. "That passport."

"Why the Hell do you need your passport?" Sam asked.

"Cause I'm not currently in the US, that's why," Dean snapped. "And Cas seems to think it's not a great idea for us to go zapping around at the moment, given Nova's recent light show, so we're going to need a way to get back into the country, dammit."

"You're not in the US?" Sam exclaimed.

Bobby turned to look at him, frowning.

"Keep it down!" Dean snapped. "But, yes. And I'm gonna have to get you to go visit our ID guy and get some documents made up for Nova."

"What about Cas?" Sam asked.

"Turns out Cas has Jimmy's passport stashed away somewhere. You'll need to go pick that up on your travels at some point, too."

Sam sighed.

"Great. It sounds like this is gonna take awhile," he said.

"Yeah... Sorry bout that," Dean said, sounding genuinely apologetic. "Good news is, I'll let you drive Baby."

Sam rolled his eyes.

"Oh, joy," he said. "Anything else I need to know about this road trip?"

"Yeah. Cas has had a chat to his brother, and Gabriel says he's free to tag along and keep you safe."

Sam instantly went bright red.

"No," he said.

"What?"

"I am _not_ having the goddamned Trickster follow me around," Sam said, ears burning.

"Well, I'm not having you traipsing all over the goddamned continent while the goddamned Devil is out to jump your bones, on your own," Dean said. "Besides, Gabriel actually knows where he dumped us, so it's the easiest way for you to know how to get here.So grow a set and deal with it."

"Dean..." Sam whined, not caring that he sounded like a child.

"Bye, Sam," he said, and hung up.

Sam spun when he heard the flap of wings.

"Why helloooooooooo, Samsquatch!" Gabriel announced, as carefree as he'd ever been, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts. "I hear we're going on a holiday."

Sam looked at the Trickster, to see if there was any tell that he might have been even half as embarrassed as he was by the events of yesterday. But he seemed his usual anarchic self, as he walked further into the lounge to rub Bobby's head, knocking the cap of his surrogate father's head.

"What in blazes!" Bobby said, waving his hands above his hand to displace the archangel.

"Sorry," Gabriel said, making that face he does when he's being sarcastic. "I thought you pet something to make it feel better."

"That's dogs, you moron," Bobby snapped.

Gabriel shrugged.

"Was just trying to say I was sorry about the house," he said.

"Sorry don't make it better, you idjit," Bobby snapped. "It's gonna take me months to fix all this."

"Or... I could just fix it while Sam packs for our road trip," Gabriel said, striding into the centre of the room and looking around. "You wouldn't let me redecorate while I was at it, would you? This whole place has a whole serial killer kind of vibe that might make it a bit hard for you to convince lady friends to come home to."

"I _like_ my house," Bobby said. "Well, I did before you let a _baby_ trash it."

"Hey - I didn't _let_ that baby do anything," Gabriel said, pointing at Bobby. "Like to have seen you do any better."

Gabriel's brows snapped together, and he turned to look at Sam.

"So, you gonna go pack, or what? Cause I'm gonna want to leave as soon as I'm done here," he said. "I don't have all the time in the world to go delivering you to your brother, you know."

Sam just nodded, a lump in his throat preventing him from actually talking.

"Good," Gabriel said, evidently happy with their communication. He turned back towards Bobby, slinging an arm around his shoulders. "Now, let's talk pain colours..."


	44. Chapter 44

Sam sat silently across from Gabriel, watching as the archangel poured even more maple syrup onto his stack of pancakes.

The silence was becoming a pervasive feature of the road trip Sam and the archangel were taking, as they made their way across the country together to rescue their respective brothers and niece. 

They had been on the road for nearly three days now, and apart from the occasional discussion about where they should stop for the day or what turn Sam had to make, the pair hadn't really spoken at all. Which was weird, given that Gabriel had proved himself to be one of the more verbose creatures Sam had ever encountered.

Sam had put their silence down to the fact that Gabriel must have felt as Sam did about their... moment... after Lucifer's departure. Okay - their kiss. The one that Sam precipitated, and that the angel hadn't returned.

Seriously - what the Hell had that been about?

Sam still couldn't quite figure out why he had decided to kiss the archangel. Let's face it - he hated the guy. Not only he was a pain in the arse, he was a certified murderer. Hell, the amount of times he killed Dean alone was enough to put him in that category. 

But in the heat of the moment, heart pounding in his chest as his body was swamped with relief by Lucifer's peaceful departure, Sam had found himself grabbing the smaller man and pressing his lips to his.

He had tried to explain the episode away by saying it was nothing. That he had just over-responded to a stressful situation. But somehow that hadn't made Sam feel any better about the situation. Evidently, it hadn't helped with Gabriel, either, if the uncharacteristic quiet of the archangel was anything to go by.

Sam watched as Gabriel shovelled another forkful of maple syrup-soaked pancake into his mouth.

"Did you seriously pour the whole jug of maple syrup on your pancakes?" Sam asked, watching as a trail of syrup ran down Gabriel's chin.

Gabriel looked up at Sam, lifting his thumb to wipe the escaped topping from his chin, before sucking his thumb to clean it. Sam felt his stomach twist.

"I like syrup," the angel said, like that explained anything. "If they didn't want me to use so much, then they shouldn't have given it to me."

"I don't think they were expecting you to drink a gallon of syrup," Sam said. "Seriously - you don't even need to eat."

Gabriel raised an eyebrow at him.

"But I like to eat," he said.

"But why?" Sam challenged. "I mean, Cas doesn't. He just says everything tastes like molecules."

"Everything does taste like molecules," Gabriel said. "What do you think you're tasting when you eat? It's just some molecules taste better than others."

"What - like sugar?" Sam asked. "You know, if you were human, you'd definitely have diabetes by now."

"Then hooray for not being human," Gabriel said, twirling a finger in the air in mock celebration.

Sam pouted, before digging his spoon back in to his bowl of oatmeal.

"Can I ask just why you're offended by my eating habits this morning?" Gabriel asked, after a moment.

"I'm not," Sam said, scooping another spoonful into his mouth.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow at him. He opened his mouth to speak, when his head suddenly cocked to the side, and he swung around to face the TV. Sam was surprised when the volume on the TV suddenly increased.

_"This is Ashley Peters, reporting to you live from St John of God's Hospital, where a hundredth case of swine flu was confirmed this morning..."_

Sam sat and watched the news reports, discussing the latest swine flu outbreak in Wyoming. With a hundred confirmed cases and over thirty more suspected, it was shaping up to be the largest flu outbreak in the US in over a decade. There were already the first signs of a mass panic, as the anticipated release of a vaccine to cover the outbreak was still over a month away.

"It's an odd time of the year for a flu outbreak," Sam commented, when Gabriel turned around to face him again.

"That's cause it's not a natural outbreak, Samboy," Gabriel said, none of the natural levity he normally had gracing his features.

"What do you mean, it's not a natural outbreak?" Sam asked

"Do you remember who the third Horseman is?" Gabriel asked.

"...Pestilence?" Sam asked, leaning in towards the angel. "You think this is Pestilence's work?"

Gabriel nodded.

"How do you know?" Sam asked. "I mean, flu outbreaks happen all the time. Besides, if you have all the diseases in the world in your arsenal, why would you pick the flu?"

Gabriel raised a judging eyebrow at Sam.

"I'm an angel, Samantha," he said. "Trust me, I know what the work of a Horseman feels like. But you're right - the flu is a little bit boring for Pestilence - although he did do a pretty good job with it in 1918..."

Gabriel snapped his fingers, and there was suddenly a stack of newspapers on the table in front of them. Sam watched as the angel browsed through a couple, before slamming a paper down on the table and pointing at it with a finger.

"There."

Sam spun the paper around, to read the article. It was about two biochemists who worked for a large pharmaceutical company who were found dead in their animal testing facility a couple days before. It sounded like one had gone mad and ripped the others to shreds, before dying themselves.

"Croatoan," Sam whispered.

"Bingo," Gabriel said, snapping his fingers as the papers disappeared from the table again, except for the newspaper Sam still held.

"If Pestilence has the Croatoan virus in their arsenal, then why are they fooling around with the flu?" Sam asked.

"Didn't you notice where they died?" Gabriel asked.

"At a pharmaceutical company," Sam said.

"And what do pharmaceutical companies make?" Gabriel prompted.

That was when it finally hit Sam.

"Vaccines," he said, looking up at the angel. "This is very bad."

Gabriel nodded.

"That generally describes the Apocalypse," Gabriel said.

"We've got to do something," Sam said. "We can't let them release the Croatoan virus."

"Hey - I'm Switzerland, remember?" Gabriel said, leaning back into his booth. "I only agreed to help you go fetch our brother's and Nova."

"Screw Switzerland," Sam said, reaching out to grab Gabriel's hand. "What's the point of trying to help out Cas, Dean and the baby if there's not going to be a world for them to come back to? The fact that you've already helped us out this far proves that you're involved. So be involved."

Sam stared at Gabriel for a moment, before the angel groaned and rubbed a hand over his face.

"Ah, screw it," Gabriel said. "Fine - I'll help put down Pestilence. But I'm still not gonna go fight against my big brothers."

Sam couldn't help but smile.

"You're not going to kiss me again, are you?" Gabriel asked, completely ruining the warm mood between them. 

Sam groaned, releasing the angel's hand.

"That was a mistake," Sam said. "Trust me, it's not happening again."

"Oh, I don't mind if it does," Gabriel insisted, following Sam as he stood from the table. "It's just I'd like you to shave first before you do it again. I got a rash from your stubble last time you felt the need to rub it against my face."

"Not gonna happen, Gabriel," Sam insisted, walking towards the front counter to pay for their meal.

"Hey, no reason to panic, Samwise," Gabriel insisted. "I know how confusing it can be, to have your first gay crush."

"I don't have a gay crush," Sam snapped. "What?" he demanded, as one of the diners at the bench turned to look at him.

"I'm hurt that you would try to deny our love like that," Gabriel said, pressing a hand over his heart. 

"Do you see how he treats me?" Gabriel asked the confused diner. "It's like he's ashamed of me."

Sam grabs Gabriel by his shirt sleeve, and swings him out of the diner. He watched as the angel stumbled down the couple stairs to outside.

"Hey, watch it!" the angel snapped.

"Four days," Sam snapped. "It's been four days, and you want to bring 'it' up now?"

Gabriel shrugged.

"Seemed as good a time as any," Gabriel said.

"No. It's not a good time," Sam said. "It'll never be a good time. Look - I don't know what possessed me to do something stupid like kiss you, but it's not going to happen again."

"Well, that's a shame," Gabriel said. "Cause if you weren't so uptight about the damned thing, could have turned out to be a good kiss."

Sam couldn't help but blush.

"Look - can we just agree to pretend it never happened and get to hunting ourselves a Horseman?" Sam asked.

Gabriel shrugged.

"As you wish, Buttercup," he said, walking over to the Impala and hopping in.

Sam ran a hand through his hair, trying to calm himself before going and joining the archangel in the car. They had bigger things to focus on, and he couldn't let himself get distracted by an angel with a sweet tooth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, all!
> 
> Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to updating this fic. I've been sick - bloody flu! Mind you, it was the perfect reminder that I've been ignoring Pestilence up to this point!
> 
> Still not sure where I'm headed on the whole possible-Sabriel aspect of this fic. We'll just have to wait and see.
> 
> Let me know what you guys think!


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we are back!
> 
> Note: I know officially, it seems the abbreviated form of Castiel is spelled 'Cass' (seriously - wtf), but given this is my AU, in my AU it's spelled 'Cas'.
> 
> Sorry, Misha. I still love you.

Dean was woken by the sensation of gentle fingers stroking his arm.

Dean opened his eyes groggily and rolled over, and found Cas sitting next to him in bed, in his customary t-shirt and boxers. A warm smile lit his face when Dean's eyes finally met his. 

A languid arm reached up to cradle Cas' neck, pulling him down to press his lips against Dean's own. Their kiss was slow and sweet, as they enjoyed the momentary peace that the first glow of dawn gave.

Cas was still smiling when he pulled away, and rolled onto his own pillow. Dean couldn't help but smile back.

"Hello, Dean."

"Hey, Cas," Dean chuckled. "What's with the wake-up call?"

"I've just fed Nova," he replied. "And she has just gone back to sleep. Hopefully it will be some time before she wakes again."

"Oh," Dean said, propping himself up with an elbow. "Well, we better not waste the opportunity, then."

Dean pulled himself up, before straddling Cas and kissing him again. The angel craned his neck forward briefly when Dean pulled away again, his head thumping against the pillow when he gave up, as Dean sat up and pulled off his shirt. 

"Arms," Dean instructed.

Cas grinned but dutifully did as he was told, lifting his arms up so Dean could remove his shirt. Dean carelessly discarded the offending item of clothing on the floor, before capturing Cas' lips with his own again.

The touch of skin on skin was intoxicating. The sensation was all the more encompassing when their boxers joined their shirts on the floor.

It was hard to feel rushed, cocooned in the early morning light that ebbed and flowed as it passed through the leaves on the elm outside their window. Dean mimicked that gentle rhythm as he slowly ground into Cas again and again. 

This was enough for him - just the press of his skin against Cas' own. Everywhere they touched, his skin tingled, as though his cells strained to return to the man that had recreated them. 

It was overwhelming, that knowledge of the love that Castiel had shown when he had pieced Dean back together. Dean still couldn't understand what he could have done to deserve Cas' love. 

For Dean, it was easy. Cas had rescued him from Hell. He had built Dean a body for his soul to reside in. He gave up Heaven and his family for him. He threw himself in front of Beloniel's blade, to save his life. Time and time again, Cas had given _everything_ for Dean. 

Dean was surprised when Cas halted their kiss, gently but firmly pushing him away when Dean tried to continue. 

"Dean, are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, Cas. I'm fine," Dean said.

"It's just... you're crying," Cas pointed out.

Dean lifted a hand up, to wipe his cheek. Sure enough, it came away damp.

"I'm fine, Cas," Dean insisted. "It's just... I was just thinking."

Cas tilted his head to the side.

"About what?"

"About how much I'm in love with you," Dean said.

Dean felt his heart swell, as a toothy smile broke out across Cas' face.

"I love you too, Dean," Cas replied, pulling Dean back towards himself so he could meet his lips with his own again.

Their kiss was interrupted when Dean's phone started to ring.

Dean sighed, as he pulled away and looked towards where his phone vibrated on the bedside table.

"You better get that," Cas said, tracing a pattern on Dean's chest. "It could be from our brothers. It could be important."

Dean just shook his head, as he reached across and grabbed the offending phone and lifting it to his ear.

"Hello?" Dean said irritably.

" _Hey, Dean. It's me,_ " Sam said.

"Yeah, I guessed that," Dean said, rolling off of Cas and on to his side of the bed. "It's 6am. Why you calling?"

" _Oh, sorry! I forgot about timezones,_ " Sam apologised.

"It's fine," Dean insisted, rubbing his face to try and relieve some unresolved tension. Being able to see Cas and his bedroom hair definitely didn't help with that. "What do you want?"

" _Look - You and Cas might be stuck in Canada for a little bit longer than expected_ ," Sam said. " _Gabriel and I think we found signs of Pestilence._ "

"The third Horseman?" Dean asked, his interest peaked. "Where?"

" _Not sure,_ " Sam lied. " _But we thought it was probably a good idea to hang around and see if we can find any more clues._ "

Dean frowned.

"Sammy, do you think that's a good idea, going Horseman hunting without me?" Dean asked, worry laden in his voice.

" _I'm not hunting Pestilence, Dean,_ " Sam insisted. " _Just researching. I promise we'll let you know as soon as we have anything more concrete._ "

"I'm serious, Sammy," Dean said, in full big brother mode. "A Horseman is not something you can just stuff around with. You'll need all the help you can get."

" _I know, Dean,_ " Sam said, sounding irritated. " _I swear I won't do anything without letting you know first._ "

"You better not," Dean warned. "Cause otherwise I'll have to come down there and kick your arse."

" _Like to see you try, seeming I'm the one with your passport,_ " Sam said. " _Anyway - I gotta get going. The sooner I find out whether this is a bust or not, the sooner I can come and rescue you guys from the canucks._ "

"Okay, Sam," Dean said. "I'll here from you soon."

" _Bye._ "

Dean sighed, rolling his head back on his pillow. 

"You seem stressed, Dean," Cas said, placing a hand on Dean's naked chest. Dean reached up to grab it.

"I just hate feeling useless," Dean said. "We're stuck here, and my brother's off hunting a Horseman without me."

"You're not useless, Dean," Cas said, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to the corner of his jaw. "Besides, Sam is accompanied by an Archangel. He is far more powerful than a Horseman."

"But that Archangel is _Gabriel_ ," Dean insisted, trying to ignore the flutter in his chest as Cas started to kiss down his neck.

"Even so," Cas said, when he reached Dean's collarbone. "He is more than capable of looking after your brother."

"He might be capable, but is he willing?"

Dean gasped when Cas' lips wrapped around a nipple.

"I wish you would try to relax," Cas said, when he relinquished Dean's nipple from his grasp. He lifted his head to look at Dean, his eyes a startling blue in the morning light. 

"How can I relax?" Dean asked. "What happens if Sam gets himself killed?"

"Sam is a vessel and part of Heaven's plan," Cas pointed out. "Should he die, he will just be returned to his body. And as to how you can relax, I think I can help with that."

A cheeky grin graced Cas' face, as he slid down the bed between Dean's leg, before wrapping his lips around Dean's dick and drawing down. Dean groaned, as his head tilted back reflexively. He reached out to run his fingers through Cas' hair, as he began to bob up and down along Dean's length.

"Yeah, Cas," Dean said. "I think that might work."

Dean gasped when Cas chuckled, sending delicious vibrations through Dean's body.

Oh, yes. This was going to work very, very well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, all!
> 
> So sorry about the hiatus. You see, I passed my September exam (yay!), which means... I got to sit a second one (sigh.) yesterday. And seeming my brain has been completely melted by the study experience this time around, I just haven't had the imagination required to focus on writing this fic. *Hopefully* now the exam is done (last one ever - yay! - ... well... if I pass...) I'll be able to focus on this a bit more.
> 
> However, I must admit that I haven't been entirely idle during my hiatus. I've started a Tumblr blog, starring my crochet Cas and Dean. So if you like photos of toys recreating scenes from Supernatural, go check it out - http://adestielyarn.tumblr.com/ - and if there are any scenes you'd like me to recreate, let me know! And if I get enough followers, I might make a Sam, or a Gabriel ;-)
> 
> If you want to contact me through my personal Tumblr blog, I'm to be found at http://caitiespace.tumblr.com/


	46. Chapter 46

Sam groaned as he collapsed on the motel bed that evening.

It had been a long day, but a productive one. Sam had spent the day sitting in the backseat of the Impala, while Gabriel drove - something that Dean was _never_ to find out about - so he could continue researching the probable location of Pestilence, and organise a plan to defeat him.

Through his research, Sam had discovered the name and location of the pharmaceutical company, where the researchers with Croatoan had worked. He had since worked out which building in the complex would contain the virus as it was being prepared for shipment, the best ingress and egress to the facility. The only thing he was actually missing at this point was the schematics to the main building, and hopefully that would be rectified soon. That way, he and Gabriel could get down to business tomorrow, and eliminate Pestilence and the Croatoan virus as a threat.

Sam had not told his brother that they planned on confronting Pestilence tomorrow. Dean was currently firmly stuck in Canada, and as far as Sam was concerned, that was for the best. But he knew if Dean knew about his little excursion tomorrow, he would want to be there. Dean would never be convinced that there was anyone better able to look after his not-so-little-brother than himself - not even a damned Archangel.

The Archangel in question was only just joining Sam in their motel room - not that Gabriel ever actually stayed the night, thank God. Given the tension between them that had been there since yesterday (that Sam may or may not have been imagining), it was a relief to know that Gabriel didn't have his little brother's inclination for watching humans sleep.

"Hey, Samwich," Gabriel greeted. "I'm back from my reconnaissance mission."

Sam struggled to catch the wad of papers that Gabriel threw at him, that had apparently appeared from nowhere.

"Floorplans, as requested," Gabriel supplied, as Sam struggled to right himself with an arm full of paper. "So now you'll know where to go when you go confront Pestilence."

During the day, Gabriel had made it abundantly clear that while he was willing to help destroy the vials of the Croatoan virus masquerading as vaccines, it would be up to Sam to face Pestilence alone. Gabriel still had some reservations about showing preference to one brother over the other, but apparently had decided that the threat of a global plague of violence wiping out the human race was enough for him to at least get involved in preventing that. And given that was the more pressing of the two issues (at least today), Sam couldn't really complain. Well, at least about that.

"You couldn't have gotten a digital copy of these?" Sam asked, spreading out the A0 pieces of paper across the bed and tried to make sense of the layout.

"I'm an old man, Samuel," Gabriel said, mockingly hunching over and bracing himself by pressing his fist into his hip. "I don't understand no damned new-fangled computers."

Sam just sighed, and shook his head.

It looked like th pharmaceutical company that they would be raiding tomorrow had a fairly standard layout. Large lobby, banks of elevators, the CEO's office located on the top floor. That was where - presumably - he'd find Pestilence tomorrow. Sam carefully committed the layout to memory. Shouldn't be too hard to get there.

"Thanks," Sam said, folding the papers away and looking back up towards Gabriel.

"You're welcome," he said, lifting an eyebrow expectantly while he leaned back against the bench of their kitchenette.

"Why are you helping us?"

The words were out of Sam's mouth, before he even knew that he was going to ask them.

Sam didn't think Gabriel was going to answer, or was going to make a joke out of his answer, like he normally would. He was surprised when the Archangel's lips pressed together and his eyes darkened with something approaching sadness.

"Because of Castiel," Gabriel replied.

Sam wasn't expecting that to be his answer, and didn't understand why his stomach twisted unpleasantly at the thought.

"Castiel," Sam repeated, confused.

Gabriel sighed.

"Sam - you must have realised by now that angels are not like humans. We were created as absolutes. We never had a childhood, and we were born with all the knowledge in existence crammed into our celestial-equivalents for brains. We never had to learn anything for ourselves, a because of that, we lack the ability to change.

"I think that was why Dad made humans in the first place. I think He realised that knowing everything had limited us in ways He had not predicted. When He created humans, He forced you to gather knowledge for yourselves. You had to grow and learn and adapt, and it's made you all the more interesting for it. And then your lives would end, and the next generation had to go through it all again. And look at what you've been able to create as a result!

"Compare that to us angels, who have managed to do absolutely ziltch, when we've had literally forever to do so. We're stagnant, following the same old plans that were given to us at the beginning of time.

"But Castiel - Castiel is different," Gabriel said, his eyes lighting up. "He has learned and he has challenged and he has rejected divine will to follow his own path. He has fallen, and he has fallen in love. He has created _life_. Out of all of our brethren, he is truly the only one of us with anything that could be approximated to a soul, and that is an amazing thing.

"I don't know why Castiel has managed to break the mould, where others of us have not. Maybe it's cause he was the last angel made, and Dad wasn't paying attention and there are small flaws in his make-up. Maybe it's because of his exposure to you and your brother. I don't know. But Castiel is a miracle, and I am willing to protect this life and this family that he has managed to create."

Sam was stunned.

"But... What about you?" Sam asked. "Haven't you broken the mould? What about Lucifer?"

Gabriel shook his head.

"Lucifer is different. He was... damaged..." Gabriel said, cryptically, "quite some time ago. Besides, I can't help but think having a bad guy was kind of central to Dad's narrative. You know, chaotic bad, and all that jazz. And me? I'm how I've always been. Even while I was part of the Host, I was always chaotic neutral. I didn't break the mould when I ran away. I just tucked myself further into the one that was made for me."

"That's bullshit," Sam challenged. "You've never done anything that you didn't want to do."

Gabriel raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh, really?" Gabriel asked. "Look at it this way. Dad needed a bad guy, so Lucy went bad. Dad needed a hero to confront Lucy, and Michael steps up to the plate. Dad obviously needed a clown, so I exist. Why do you think I'm allowing my brothers to kill each other, without intervening? Even after all these years, I'm still just Dad's pawn."

"Then why don't you do something about it?" Sam asked. 

"Cause I don't know whose side I'd choose," Gabriel replied, shocking Sam.

"...But Lucifer wants to end the world," Sam pointed out.

"Lucy might be mad, and he might want to destroy the world, but he's still my favourite brother," Gabriel explained. "He's the one who accepted me for who I was, who encouraged me in my trickery. He taught me how to do my illusions - the only real thing I've ever learned in my existence. 

"Whereas Michael has always been a pretty severe and unforgiving older brother. He always chastised me for being a screw-up. Sure, he might seem to be on the side of all-that-is-good, standing in at Earth's saviour, but he's not doing it out of the goodness of his heart. He's doing it because he is the Faithful Son, and that's what he's meant to do. From a purely selfish stand-point, Lucy is equally as entitled to my favour. 

"So tell me, Sam," Gabriel asked. "Who do I side with - the brother I loathe but acts the hero, or the brother that I love that's headed down the wrong path?"

Sam was surprised that it seemed Gabriel was genuinely asking.

"...Dude, I'm not gonna encourage you to help your psycho brother end the human race," Sam said. "But I get your point that you don't want to hurt him, either. If I were in your shoes and it was Dean doing all that crazy shit, I'm not sure I could stop him, either. So I guess I'm gonna have to be content with you just helping us stop the release of the Croatoan virus."

It was a surprisingly warm smile that came to Gabriel's face.

"Thanks, Sam. Now," Gabriel said, his mood suddenly lightening as he clapped his hands together. "I think it's time for the humans to go to bed, if they have a play date with a Horseman in the morning. So - which side of the bed do you want? I better warn you - I like to be the big spoon, but in this case, I can understand that I might have to compromise."

Sam just rolled his eyes at him.

"Goodnight, Gabriel," he said. "I'll see you in the morning."

Gabriel just winked at Sam, then disappeared. Sam shook his bed, and allowed himself to collapse back on to his bed. He didn't know if he would ever get used to having the Trickster as a companion, and he didn't understand why some days, that didn't feel like a bad thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exposition!
> 
> Seriously - if you told me at the beginning of this fic that I'd be spending so much time writing about Sam and Gabriel, I wouldn't have believed you.


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG we've passed 200 kudos! That's so amazing!
> 
> Seriously, when I started this fic, I didn't think anyone was going to read it. This was just meant to be a fun, fast, spur-of-the-moment thing to write while I was procrastinating before my exams. I can't believe it's now over 58 000 words long, with over 200 kudos. Totally exceeded my expectations.
> 
> So a big thanks to everyone who has read it so far. I truly hope that you're enjoying it. And really, leave a comment! I'd love to hear your thoughts.
> 
> Anyway, on with the show!

Sam gripped the steering wheel tightly, leaning forward to look out the windscreen of the Impala. His lips pressed together tightly as he stared at the front gate of Niveus Pharmaceuticals in front of them - the probable location of Pestilence, and a humanity-ending amount of the Croatoan virus. 

It was always the same before a Hunt, that nervous excitement that hummed away just under his skin, making the hair on Sam's arms stand on end. Sam knew that there was a real possibility that he might die today, but oddly enough, that was not why he was worried. It had been quite some time since Sam had been concerned about his own death. No, what he feared was what would happen if he failed. They may have only ever encountered it once, but Sam had seen enough of the Croatoan virus to understand what devastation it could wreak, should it be released on to the Earth. 

Sam turned his head, to look at the Archangel that sat on the bench seat next to him. It seemed ironic that potentially the fate of the human race rested on their shoulders - a screw-up of an excuse for a human, and a screw-up of an excuse for an Archangel.

Gabriel raised a single eyebrow at Sam, questioning.

"...So..." Gabriel said. "Are you gonna sit there all day, making doe eyes at me, or are we gonna go save the world?"

Sam sighed, shaking his head.

"It's not a race, Gabriel," Sam snapped. "We're getting there. No point running in there half-cocked."

"Oh, no. I'm definitely a full-cocked kind of guy," Gabriel quipped.

"So do you wanna go over the plan one last time?" Sam asked, completely ignoring Gabriel's innuendo.

"I'm an angel, Sam. I remember everything that's ever happened since the literal beginning of time," he pointed out.

"Humour me."

Gabriel sighed.

"I go find the stores of the Croatoan virus, while you make your way into the CEO's office to face down the big baddie. I get my smite on any demons who happen to be in the warehouse, and zap away the civilians before making all of the Croatoan go boom. Hopefully, you've managed to cut a ring off a Horseman by then without getting yourself killed, and we meet back up at the Impala," Gabriel parroted, obediently. "Sounds about right?"

Sam just nodded.

"Great," Gabriel said, rubbing his hands together. "So, now can we get on with it?"

Sam sighed, looking back towards the complex again.

"Yeah... fine," he said. "Just... Can you give me a few minutes head start, so I can actually get in the building before you go all avenging angel and send the place into lock down?"

Gabriel rolled his eyes, gave an exaggerated sigh as he leaned his head back against the back of the chair.

"Fine! Ten minutes," he said. "So you better start moving that fine ass of yours."

Sam didn't have to be told twice. He got out of the car, and walked purposefully towards the front door of Niveus Pharmaceuticals. Sam scanned the surroundings, as he walked into the lobby, checking to see if anyone recognised him. It wasn't outside the realms of possibility that Pestilence had demons planted in the lobby, on the lookout for people that could be a threat to their plan - like certain famous vessels of Satan. But no one even looked at Sam twice as he strode up to the bank of elevators, and took a lift to the top floor where he knew the CEO's office was located.

Sam stepped in time with the beat of his heart, as he made his way to the office, following the mental map he had created from Gabriel's schematics. It was then that he heard an alarm begin to go off somewhere in the complex. He grinned, but didn't change his path. His angel had obviously reached his target, and was getting his groove on.

Well, it looked like Sam better start pulling his weight.

Sam didn't knock. He just opened the door and walked in. And then he froze. Because sitting at the CEO's desk was not a Horseman, like he had presumed, but someone he had never expected to see.

"...Brady?"

What could only be described as a smug smile came to his former college friend's face.

"Why, if it isn't Sammy Winchester," Brady said, obviously not surprised by his sudden appearance. "I take it you're the one to thank for the current commotion in my warehouse?"

"What are you doing here?" Sam asked, taking a few confused steps further into the room.

"What do you think I'm doing here, Sam?" Brady asked. "I run this operation."

"Brady, look," Sam said, striding forward towards his old friend. "You gotta get out of here. Someone's infiltrated the company, and they've poisoned the vaccines you're about to ship out."

Brady snorted.

"Well, duh," Brady said. "That was me."

"...What?"

"Oh, Sam. Are you really that thick?" Brady asked. "It's not by chance that you found me here. Hell, it's not even by chance that we ever met at all."

Brady's eyes flash black. He smirks when he sees the look of horror that comes to Sam's face.

"There we go."

"You're a demon?" Sam asks.

"Yup," Brady smiles, blinking as his eyes return to their human shade. "Have been since our freshman year."

"But... You were my friend," Sam insisted. "You introduced me to Jessica..."

"All part of the plan, I'm sorry to say," Brady said, even though his voice sounded anything but. "Old Azazel assigned me to keep an eye on you. When it turned out that you were going soft, we had to do something about it. I got the idea that seeming it worked so well for your dad, having the love of his life die horrifically in front of him, that the same would work for you, too. Have to say, I was pretty right about that."

"So you introduce me to Jessica, allow me to fall in love with her, then get Azazel to kill her?"

Sam felt stupid, basically repeating what Brady was saying back at him, but it still hadn't sunk in yet. This was Brady - his college best friend, Brady - and it turned out that he was just a demon masquerading as his friend the whole time?

"Oh no, Sam," Brady said, looking concerned. "It wasn't Azazel that killed Jessica. It was me."

The world went silent for a moment - at least to Sam - as his brain processed that revelation. All Sam could hear was the rush of blood in his ears, as his world focused down onto that single truth - that Brady had killed Jessica. Sam could still see her on the ceiling, could still hear the hiss of the blood that dripped from her abdomen being consumed by the flames that enveloped her, the perfect reconstruction of his own mother's demise that even though he could not remember, still lived visibly in his mind. 

It was the perfect trauma, and had been what had truly convinced Sam that he could never live a 'normal' life. And it had all been staged - his friendship, his love, his loss - by the man standing in front of him. A man he had once considered his friend.

A feral yell tore from Sam's chest, as he threw himself on Brady. The room shook as they connected, falling to the floor in a bundle of limbs, as Sam's fist connected with Brady's face over and over and over again.

"I'll kill you!" Sam shouted again and again, even as the echoes of the explosion that had shaken the building faded. "I'll kill you!"

Brady just laughed, and that made things all the worse. Sam's knuckles had long-since split, and he couldn't tell if the blood that covered his fist was his or the demon's. He didn't care. 

"Yo, yo, yo! Sam! Wait!"

Sam ignored the sudden addition of a voice to the room, and punched Brady again, the cartilage in Brady's nose giving away under his assault with a satisfying crunch.

"Sam!"

Sam spun around, when someone surprisingly strong grabbed his arm and prevented it from impacting Brady's face again, only to find Gabriel. The Archangel smoked slightly, his clothes tinged with soot from where he had obviously exploded the warehouse.

"Let me go," Sam growled, tugging against the Archangel's hold, in spite of knowing how pointless such an attempt was.

"That's not a Horseman, Sam," Gabriel said. "And I don't think it's going to lead you to one if it no longer has a jaw to speak with."

"I don't care!" Sam snapped, yanking his arm again, to no avail. "That... thing! He killed Jessica!"

"And just exactly what is a Jessica?" Gabriel asked, tilting his head slightly. In any other circumstance, it would have been quite funny how similar the action was to a certain brother of his.

"His... fiancee," the demon gurgled, in a piteous attempt at laughter.

Gabriel's eyes finally turned to the half-pulped demon on the floor, before he reached a hand out towards him.

"No... wait...!" Sam shouted, but it was too late, as Gabriel's hand connected with Brady's forehead, bright light pouring from the demon's eyes and mouth at their connection, as he was burned away to nothing.

"No!" Sam wailed, struggling against the arms that had suddenly found themselves wrapped around him as he tried to fling himself on the demon again. 

It wasn't fair! _He_ wanted to kill Brady!

Sam struggled against Gabriel's grasp, but it was no use. His arms were an immovable cage around the much larger man. There was a sudden rush of wind, and then suddenly, Sam found themselves back in their motel room. He stumbled slightly, as Gabriel released him as soon as they'd landed.

"What the Hell did you do that for?" Sam demanded, rounding on the other man.

"Saving you from yourself," Gabriel said. "You were wasting time, and that demon knew it. You would have kept beating the shit out of him until his cronies had the chance to sneak up on you and kill you."

"I don't care!" Sam said. "He killed..."

"...Jessica. Yeah, I heard," Gabriel said, taking two steps towards Sam. "She's dead, Sam. For quite some time, given I've never heard you talk about having a fiancee before. Do you think you'd be doing her a favour, if you got yourself killed. Hell, what about the world? Or did you forget that we were in the middle of an Apocalypse, and you are the only man standing between the Devil and world domination?"

"As if you care," Sam spat.

"I care a lot," Gabriel snapped.

Sam snorted.

"I thought you were all about being Switzerland," Sam scoffed.

Gabriel shook his head.

"Not about the Apocalypse, you idiot," he said, shaking his head as he grasped Sam by the cheeks and pulled his face to his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to leave you hanging, but this chapter is way past long enough. 
> 
> Warning: Sabriel smut incoming in our next instalment ;-)


	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: smut, smut and more smut.

Their mouths met with a clash of teeth, insistent lips pushing and sucking against Sam's own, as they tried to goad the younger Winchester into a response. Sam felt himself freeze against the unexpected assault, his muscles going tense as he pushed the Trickster away.

"What the fuck?" Sam demanded, eyes boring in to Gabriel's own.

Gabriel raises an eyebrow at him.

"What? You think you got a monopoly on surprise kisses?" he challenged.

"Is this your idea of a fucking joke?" Sam asks, anger thrumming through his body with each heart beat. "You think it's fair to tease me about this stupid fucking crush _now_?"

"You really think that's what I'm doing?" Gabriel asked, shaking his head. "Humans - are you all this stupid?"

"Well, we can't all be giant celestial balls of absolute knowledge," Sam snapped. "How else would you manage to feel superior if you didn't have us stupid ants to look down upon to remind you about how omniscient you all are?"

Sam was surprised when Gabriel grabbed him by his shirt and pulled his mouth back to his again. Sam gasped in surprise, allowing Gabriel to force his tongue into the younger Winchester's mouth. Sam moaned at the sensation, as tingles of electricity shot down all his nerve endings in response to the archangel's touch. Gabriel obviously took this response as encouragement, as he wrapped his arm around the much larger man's waist and pulled him towards himself as he deepened their kiss.

Sam didn't really understand what was going on here. He didn't really care. All he knew was that there were too many emotions swirling around his head to deal with, and right now he was more than happy to distract himself from them with the archangel's touch.

Sam pushed back against the angel, 'forcing' him to walk backwards until his back impacted the wall. Sam chose to ignore the knowledge that if Gabriel had done as Sam had asked, it was by his choice alone, enjoying the sensation of control he was attempting to exert of the situation. 

Gabriel was not the first man Sam had ever kissed, but it had been a long time since college. He had almost forgotten about what it felt like to have stubble scrape across his chin, or the effect that the low-pitched growls that erupted from his partner's chest would have on him. That wasn't even to mention how it felt to rub his burgeoning erection against it's mirror image in another man's pants, a point of friction he could target for his own satisfaction.

"You better not be teasing me," Gabriel growled into Sam's ear, as the larger man sucked on his earlobe.

"I'm not the one who calls myself the Trickster," Sam pointed out, grinding against Gabriel, causing the other man to tilt his head back with a groan.

"Point taken," Gabriel ceded.

Gabriel pushed against Sam's chest, causing Sam to fall backwards. He half expected to hit the floor, but there was a sudden scraping noise as the motel bed dragged itself across the room to catch Sam as he fell. Sam barely had a chance to exhale his breath in a sharp 'oof', when Gabriel climbed onto his lap, hands on Sam's chest as he kissed his neck and ground against him again and again.

Sam was embarrassed by how aroused he was right now. His erection strained against the denim confines of his jeans, and even with the limited contact they'd had so far, he felt dangerously close to completion. He tried to think of something - anything - other than the angel in his lap, who continued to exert such delicious friction with unyielding exuberance. He didn't want to be the first one to finish. He didn't want the Trickster to win.

"Tell me," Gabriel panted between kisses, "how far do you want to go?"

Sam couldn't help the snort that escaped his mouth - it sounded like such a middle school question, to have come from an immortal being's lips.

"How far _can_ you take it?" Sam asked, hoping that Gabriel would take it as a challenge, rather than the actual concern Sam was expressing. 

Whilst Sam had fooled around with guys in college (and was desperately trying to ignore those memories tied to Brady), he had never actually gone all the way with any of them. Sam was surprised that there still was a genuine hint of fear attached to the thought - not that he would ever admit that to the angel. As far as Gabriel was concerned, Sam Winchester feared nothing. Not God, not the devil - and definitely not gay sex.

"Well, then we better hurry up, then, cause otherwise I'm not going to last long enough to get to the good stuff," Gabriel said.

With a snap of Gabriel's fingers, both men suddenly found themselves naked. Sam barely had a chance to register this change to his dress, when Gabriel slammed himself down on Sam's now-proud erection. Sam gasped and his body shook, as he felt the sudden tight heat around him. His fingers dug into the angel's hips, staring up at Gabriel in shock as the angel cocked an eyebrow.

"Angel, remember?" Gabriel teased, with a roll of the hips, which drew out a guttural moan from Sam. "No mortal weapon can hurt me - not even your cock."

And with that, Gabriel drew himself up to almost release Sam, before slamming himself down again.

Sam bit down on his lip as Gabriel started up a punishing rhythm, too focused on trying not to blow his load too soon to really focus on anything else. He dug his fingers into Gabriel's hips, guiding the smaller man up and down. It was just as well Gabriel was an angel, because Sam gripped him hard enough to have left bruised on anyone else.

"Oh, Sam!" Gabriel moaned, forcing Sam to look up at him.

It was only then that Sam remembered Gabriel's long-ignored erection, dark and throbbing and covered in pre-cum as it bobbed up and down in front of him. Sam reached out and grabbed it, allowing Gabriel to thrust into his grasp as he rode Sam. The lights started to flicker above them as Gabriel approached climax. Sam could hear a high-pitched wail in his ears, and there was a pressure building there that made his ears feel like they needed to pop. 

The sensation just kept building and building, until Gabriel came, lights shattering in a shower of sparks, as Sam's chest was bathed in warm strings of cum. Sam came seconds later, shuddering as he felt the waves of contractions roll through Gabriel's body. Sam groaned, reflexively tilting his head back as he emptied himself into Gabriel's vessel, who then promptly collapsed on the bed beside him. 

Sam was surprised to find his chest clean, when he lifted a tired hand to rest on his heaving chest. He rolled his head to the side to look at Gabriel, who just winked at him tiredly from his side of the bed.

"Not bad, Samsquatch," Gabriel said, still panting in spite of not needing the air.

"Not bad, yourself," Sam replied. "Anyone would have thought you'd done that before."

"Well, I normally would prefer to be batting, rather than catching," Gabriel admitted, "but I didn't think I'd last long enough to get you through the prep, so sacrifices needed to be made."

He gave Sam a shit-eating grin, which made Sam feel surprisingly warm in the pit of his stomach. As much as Sam desperately wanted to find something witty to say in return, his brain was too exhausted to come up with anything, so he made do with giving Gabriel an indulgent shake of his head.

"Maybe next time," Sam said, surprised that those words came out his mouth when they did.

"You mean there's going to be a next time?" Gabriel asked.

"...Maybe," Sam conceded.

Gabriel whistled.

"Wow - don't you just get all agreeable after you get laid," Gabriel said. "Go to sleep, Sam. Don't want you doing something stupid in your current state like agreeing to be Big Bro's meat suit."

Sam just shook his head again, too tired to argue. Gabriel watched as Sam shut his eyes with the motion, and was asleep by the time his head had stilled. A small smile tugged at the edge of the archangel's mouth, as he reached out to brush a strand of hair out of the hunter's face.

"Sleep well, Sam-derella," he whispered, rolling onto his side to do something more in his little brother's wheelhouse than his own, and watch Sam sleep.


	49. Chapter 49

Sam groaned when he woke up the following morning, as the events of the night before began to filter through his consciousness.

Punching Brady... Gabriel pulling him off... Them arguing... Gabriel kissing him... Then...

Oh, God...

Sam sat bolt upright in bed, eyes springing open to survey an unfamiliar room. Wherever he was, it was not the motel room he had passed out in the night before. He was also alone. The room was sleek and modern, flat screen TV mounted on a tasteful wood feature wall across from the large and comfortable bed he had found himself lying on, white sheets pooling at his waist.

"What the Hell?" Sam whispered to himself.

Just at that moment, Gabriel decided to make an entrance - and in a surprisingly human fashion, too, entering through the door balancing a tray of coffees and what smelt suspiciously like a bag of bagels.

"Where the Hell are we?" Sam demanded, as Gabriel walked over to the small table in the corner of the room to deposit their breakfast.

"Good morning to you, too, sunshine," Gabriel said, slightly irately, leaning against the table slightly when he turned to face Sam.

"Seriously, Gabriel. Where are we?" Sam asked.

"Vancouver," Gabriel replied, folding his arms across his chest. "I was getting sick of the whole road trip thing. Thought I'd hurry up the process."

"Seriously? If Dean finds out you left his car at some skeezy motel..."

"Woah - calm your horses, cowboy. That old hunk of junk is safely parked in the carpark outside," Gabriel said.

Sam couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped from his lips, as he reached up to rub his tired face.

"Thanks," Sam said, meeting Gabriel's golden eyes with his own.

"No probs," Gabriel replied. "So are you gonna hurry up, so we can go meet our bros?"

"Yeah, no. Of course," Sam said, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and getting up.

Sam was only mildly surprised to find he was wearing pyjama pants. He walked over to the table, opening the bag to find bagels inside. He picked one out and took a bite, before turning back towards Gabriel, who was remaining uncharacteristically quiet.

"So... Do you want to talk about what happened last night?" Sam asked, even though he was loathe to bring it up.

"Not particularly," Gabriel replied, reaching across Sam to grab a bagel of his own. Sam shuddered slightly at the brush of Gabriel's skin against his own. "Why? Do you want to."

"Not particularly," Sam admitted. 

"Look - I know you humans like to over analyse these things, but do you mind if we don't?" Gabriel asked, slightly grumpily. "So we had sex? You're a consenting adult, I'm a consenting adult, we had fun - where's the harm?"

Sam's stomach twisted slightly for some reason, but he just nodded.

"Yeah... Of course," he concurred. 

"Good - so why don't you go get that cute ass of yours in the shower, so we can get a shuffle on? Cassie and Dean will be waiting for us," Gabriel said.

Sam couldn't help but smile. Seriously - he was a grown man. Why did Gabriel complimenting his ass give him the giggles?

"Hey, Gabriel?" Sam asked, realising something. "Is Cas gonna know that we um..."

"What? Got in on? Bumped uglies? Made the beast with two backs? Had us some bow-chicka-wow-wow? Did some aggressive cuddling? Had ourselves a bedroom rodeo?"

"...Gabriel..." Sam warned.

"Wait! I'm not finished!" Gabriel insisted. "We did the horizontal greased weasel tango. Oh! Oh! The four-legged foxtrot! How about - locking legs and swapping gravy?"

"Gabriel!"

"Fine!" Gabriel said, holding his hands up in defeat. "Jeesh - I thought getting laid was meant to put you in a good mood. Hey! There's another one - getting laid."

Sam just raised an eyebrow at Gabriel, unimpressed.

"Anyway - to answer your question: No. They shouldn't work out that we 'did it'," Gabriel said, imitating his brother with the use of finger quotes. "The only reason why I know when Cassie and Dean have been busy is because Cassie _insists_ on healing him afterwards, and there's a limited amount of reasons for there to be residual grace floating around here."

Gabriel waved a hand around the vicinity of his arse.

"Given you were batting last night, you should be okay."

"Oh. My. God - Gabriel! Too much information!" Sam groaned. "There are some things you _don't_ want to know about your brother."

"What? You asked," he said, innocently. "Besides, what did you think they were doing?"

"It doesn't mean I have to think about it!" Sam insisted, stomping over to the end of the bed to grab his duffel from where Gabriel had obviously deposited it when he had moved them to Vancouver.

"What are you doing?" Gabriel asked.

"Going to have that damned shower," Sam snapped, grabbing his bag of toiletries and clean clothes. "Hopefully the water is hot enough that it can burn that mental image out of my head."

Sam stomped past Gabriel and towards the bathroom. He was unimpressed by the cheeky smirk on the archangel's face.

"Oh! I got another one!" Gabriel announced, as Sam slammed the door behind him. "Quimsticking! Come on - even you have to admit that that one is pretty awesome... Sam? ...Sam?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken me so long to update this! Just finished 12 days of work in a row - most of them being 24hrs on call. My brain has been mush!
> 
> Anyway, I'm probably just gonna post short chapters for awhile, just so I update more regularly and move this fic along. Seriously - it's gonna have to end soon!


	50. Chapter 50

Dean was still asleep by the time Cas had finished packing Nova's belongings the following morning. Cas didn't mean to be inpatient, but he knew that Dean would be when he woke, and heard that Gabriel and Sam had finally arrived to take them home - or whatever equivalent of a home they were headed to.

Cas had been surprised when Gabriel had materialised in their hotel bedroom some hours before, dramatically covering his eyes when he spotted the state of undress of both Cas and an unconscious Dean.

"Woah! A little warning would be nice!" Gabriel had exclaimed. "Haven't you ever heard of sticking a sock on the door or something?"

"I don't understand what that would achieve," Cas said, head listing slightly to the side in confusion. "Besides, you hardly gave warning of your arrival. You can't expect us to always presume you're about to appear."

"Yeah... I guess that would put a dampener on your sex life if you did," Gabriel concurred, sitting on the edge of the bed. Castiel glared at him, hoping the movement wouldn't wake Dean. He never got enough sleep, as it was, without being woken by a rogue archangel in the middle of the night.

"Look - I just came to let you know that Sam and I have reached Vancouver. We can come collect you once the humans have finished their beauty sleep," Gabriel said.

"Thank you, Gabriel," Cas said. "Your efforts are much appreciated."

"Hey - if you want me to leave you and lover-boy alone in your love nest for a few more days, that can be arranged," Gabriel offered. "I just don't think Sam would be too chuffed about it, seeming he has plans for hunting down a Horseman. Although I could just knock him out for a few days..."

"No. It's fine," Castiel insisted. "I believe Dean would feel better, being back in his brother's presence."

"Yeah... They are disturbingly codependant, that pair," Gabriel said. "I don't know how you put up with it."

"I find their relationship admirable," Castiel insisted.

"Yeah, well I find it kinda creepy," Gabriel said, standing. "Anyway, I'm gonna leave you and your afterglow to it. There's a park around the corner from here. I'll meet you and your spawn there around 11ish?"

Castiel nodded.

"Thank you, Gabriel. I'll see you then."

And then Gabriel had vanished. 

Cas couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something had changed with his older brother. He tried not to dwell on it, as he had decided to spend the time before Dean had woken cleaning their hotel room and packing for their inevitable exit once he woke.

Just then, Nova started to cry. Cas shook his head at his own stupidity, as he went and collected his daughter from the bassinet the hotel provided them with. It was getting near 6am. She would undoubtedly be hungry - and Castiel had just packed away all her formula and bottles. He crooned at her as he picked her up, rocking her as Dean had taught him to do while he headed over to the packed bag and began retrieving what he needed to feed her one-handed - something he was becoming strangely adept at.

Castiel loved being a parent, but even after all these weeks, it was still such a learning curve. There was just so much to think about, when dealing with a semi-human infant. It wasn't just the feeding and the burping and the changing of nappies. It was the little things, like how she liked to be kept in perpetual motion while being held, or how singing to her would soothe her, despite not serving any real purpose. 

Dean had been a natural when it came to such things, but Castiel had needed to actively learn them. He had needed Dean to tell him that Nova liked to be rocked for him to do so, given Castiel was rarely prone to movement unless it served a purpose. He didn't know any songs to sing her, so would instead mumble strings of Enochian hymns to her, that they used to chant back when he was part of the Heavenly Host. It was a bittersweet thing, watching his daughter settle to the language of his people, knowing that she would never be allowed to join the chorus of heaven.

Castiel guessed that was all part and parcel of being a mother. And yes, he saw himself as Nova's mother. After all, he had carried her and birthed her. It was his deserved title, in spite of how much such a label disturbed Dean. Cas did not want to give up that title, when he had gone through so much to earn it.

"Hey, Cas," Dean said tiredly, wrapping his arms around Cas' waist and rocking back and forth with him, as he fed Nova. "How are my angels going?"

"Hungry," Cas supplied, pulling from Dean's arms so he could turn and pass him his daughter to feed. He kissed Dean on the cheek, as he went to repack Nova's belongings, now she was being fed.

"Hey, Cas? Why have you been packing?" Dean asked, continuing to bob from side to side as Nova fed.

"Because our brothers have finally arrived," Cas supplied. "I thought you would be keen to meet back up with them."

"Sammy's here?" Dean asked, his voice brightening. "Since when?"

"They arrived sometime last night. Gabriel asked if we could meet him in the park down the street at eleven," Cas supplied.

"Can it be sooner?" Dean asked. "I mean, we're all up. No reason to delay."

"We might be up, but I'm not sure that your brother is," Cas said. "They've travelled a long way. I think we should allow him the sleep in. Besides, you still have to eat, and shower, and pack."

Dean smiled.

"You know, Cas, you're kinda turning into a wife, with this whole trying to look after me thing," Dean said.

"Dean, I've always tried to look after you," Cas said. "It's why I fell from Heaven, remember?"

"Yeah, but that was trying to save me from heavenly will and death, not from whether or not I was wearing clean underwear," Dean said.

Cas smirked.

"I believe it's equally important," Cas said, reaching out to take Nova from Dean's arms. "So how about you go shower?"

"Yes, dear," Dean said, kissing Cas on the cheek before sauntering off to the bathroom to wash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow - it's been a long time since I posted here!
> 
> So, my laptop died. It is extinct. It is an ex-laptop. Well, an ex-laptop that is currently at the computer repairers, so I can't give it a decent funeral or buy a new one, in case they manage to resurrect it, or they decide to replace it cause it's still under warranty.
> 
> Finally given up on waiting, and wrote this chapter from my iPad. So I'm sorry if there's any bad auto correct or problems with formatting. I genuinely can't help it.
> 
> Also, 50 chapters! I really need to start wrapping this up. But I still have two Horseman and Lucifer to deal with. Sigh!


	51. Chapter 51

"Sam!"

Dean doesn't even try to stop himself from wrapping his brother in a hug, when they are finally reunited at the park. He just shuts his eyes as he squeezes him tight for a moment, imagining that he was still the little brother Dean had always tried to protect, rather than the giant of a man that he was. Sam just pats Dean's shoulder awkwardly for a moment, waiting out this surge in protectiveness.

"Hey, Dean," Sam says, when Dean finally pulls away. "It's nice to see you, too."

Dean holds Sam at arms length for a moment, brows furrowing as he inspects his brother's features.

"What happened?" Dean challenged.

"What? Nothing happened - apart from me being forced to haul ass across the continent with a sarcastic dick of an archangel cause you and your family managed to get yourselves stuck on the wrong side of the border," Sam deflected.

"Excuse me - it's that dick of an archangel that got us stuck on the wrong side of the border," Dean said.

"So sorry that I didn't pay closer attention when I was busy _saving your lives from Lucifer,_ " Gabriel said, folding his arms across his chest.

"Besides, that's not what has your panties in a twist, so spill," Dean continued, ignoring Gabriel. 

Sam desperately tried not to glance at the Trickster, in spite of how he wanted to at that moment. He didn't know how, but Dean always had this weird big brother fifth sense that always told him when Sam was hiding something, and right now, he didn't want his brother finding out that he had a one night stand with an archangel the night before. 

"Um..." 

Gabriel sighed dramatically. 

"The gig's up, Sam," he said. "Do you want to tell him the truth, or do you want me to do it?" 

"Gabriel, no..." 

"Truth about what?" Dean asked, focusing on the archangel. 

Gabriel sighed again. 

"Sam and I went to confront Pestilence yesterday. Our raid didn't turn out quite as planned," Gabriel said. 

"What?" Dean snapped. "Sam - you promised me you wouldn't do anything without letting me know!" 

Sam's shoulders slumped with relief. He hoped his brother would interpret that as defeat, as he silently thanked the archangel in his head. 

"I'm sorry, Dean. It was a bit time sensitive," Sam explained. "Pestilence was going to release the Croatoan virus. We couldn't let that happen." 

"You should have told me!" Dean insisted. 

"It would have just worried you," Sam said. "Besides, I had an archangel there. I had more than enough fire power for that little excursion." 

"It's freaking Gabriel, man!" Dean said. "The only thing you can trust him for is to be a colossal dick." 

"Hey! I'm standing right here!" Gabriel said, falsely hurt. 

"What? Am I wrong?" Dean challenged. 

"Well, no," Gabriel ceded. "Still not polite to point it out, though." 

"So what did you mean when you said your confrontation with Pestilence didn't go to plan?" Cas asked, finally joining the conversation. He had a hand resting gently over Nova's head where she was strapped to his chest. 

Dean turned to look at Cas briefly, panic sparking in his eyes. 

"Yeah. They didn't manage to release the Croatoan virus, did they..." 

"No!" Sam insisted. "No. Gabriel took care of that." 

"Then what happened?" 

"Pestilence wasn't there," Sam said, eyes darkening as he remembered his confrontation with Brady. 

"Sam..." Dean cautioned. 

Sam lifted his eyes to look at his brother, and spotted the concern there. 

_Goddamn it. How does he do that?_ Sam wondered, and not for the first time. 

__"He had a demon there, okay?" Sam said, hoping his brother would drop it._ _

__"...And?"_ _

__Sam sighed, rubbing a hand through his mane of hair._ _

__"And I knew him, okay?" Sam admitted. "It was a friend of mine from college. Turns out he was always a demon, sent by Azazel to keep me under control."_ _

__"Oh, Sammy," Dean said, concern weighted in his voice._ _

__Sam grimaced ruefully._ _

__"You don't even know the best part," he continued, wanting to get it off his chest now that he'd started. "Not only was he the one who introduced me to Jessica, he's the one who killed her."_ _

__Sam's eyes blurred with unshed tears, as his brother scooped him back into a hug and held him tight. Sam shut his eyes and buried his face in Dean's shoulders, taking comfort from his brother as you would from a parent's embrace - because, let's face it, that was the role Dean had always played in his brother's life. Dean didn't say a word, while he let his brother cry silently into his shoulder, and for that Sam was thankful. Dean always knew what his brother needed, and it wasn't an apology that would serve no purpose but make Sam feel pitied._ _

__Sam allowed himself this indulgence for a minute before pulling away._ _

__"Thanks," he said gruffly, as far into chick flick territory that his brother would let him venture._ _

__"No probs," Dean replied. "So, what are we gonna do now?"_ _

__"I was thinking lunch," Gabriel said, turning. "I hear there's this great little restaurant down the street where you can get dessert all day..."_ _

__"I meant about Pestilence," Dean interrupted._ _

__"Nothing to do," Sam said. "We have no idea where he is."_ _

__"Well, that's not entirely true..." Gabriel said._ _

__Everyone turned to face Gabriel._ _

__"What?" Sam asked, eyes boring into the archangel._ _

__"...I may have rifled through his thoughts while I smote the demon and pilfered where Pestilence is hiding out," Gabriel admitted. "Seemed like information you might want at the time._ _

__"What? Why didn't you tell me?" Sam demanded, briefly forgetting that he and Gabriel had an audience before he shut himself up._ _

__"In case you don't remember, you were a bit distraught at the time," Gabriel said. "The you distracted me."_ _

__"Oh? I distracted you?" Sam challenged. He forced himself to shut up, before any other admissions came tumbling out his mouth._ _

__Sam looked back towards his brother, whose brows were furrowed but not too suspicious. However, Sam noticed that Cas had his head canted to one side, questioningly. Sam felt his stomach twist, feeling like the angel saw something his brother didn't._ _

__"Awesome. So we know where another Horseman is," Dean said. "But unless he's hiding out in downtown Vancouver, we don't need to deal with that right now. So, Gabriel - tell me about this dessert bar of yours? Does it have pie?"_ _

__Sam continued to hold Cas' gaze, as Dean and Gabriel started to walk off, still discussing the merits of different varieties of pie. Sam made a show of walking over to Cas and leaning in to kiss Nova on the head._ _

__"You copulated with Gabriel," Cas said, finally._ _

__"Shit, Cas! Just come out and say it, why don't you," Sam said, flushing with embarrassment as he looked around to make sure Dean didn't hear._ _

__"I thought I just did..." Cas said, confused. "I don't understand. You seem upset by the entire thing. I thought engaging in intercourse with someone made you more comfortable with them, but you still seem rather irked by Gabriel's presence."_ _

__"It was just sex, Cas," Sam insisted, not believing that he needed to explain this to an angel. "It's not like what you have with Dean. I don't love him. It was just a one night stand because we were both upset and needed to vent our frustrations."_ _

__Cas tilted his head again._ _

__"You mean like when Dean engaged in intercourse with random women to fulfil his physical urges?" Cas asked._ _

__"Yes! Just like that."_ _

__"But Dean wasn't angry with them in the morning," Cas pointed out. "In fact, it always tended to improve his mood."_ _

__Sam shook his head._ _

__"It's different with Gabriel," he tried to explain. "We drive each other nuts. It was either beat the shit out of each other or screw each other. So we decided on the latter."_ _

__Cas was silent for a moment, blue eyes staring at Sam intently._ _

__"...I don't understand."_ _

__Sam laughed._ _

__"Yeah? Well, neither do I," Sam admitted. "Look - can you do me a solid, and don't tell Dean about this?"_ _

__"Why?"_ _

__"Because I don't want him trying to kill Gabriel. I think we're gonna need him soon, and I don't want Dean scaring him off," Sam said._ _

__Cas nodded._ _

__"Hey, what's the hold up, guys?" Dean called back at them, where he stood at the other side of the park with Gabriel._ _

__"Just saying hi to Nova!" Sam called back._ _

__"Well, you can do that at lunch! Hurry up! I'm starving!"_ _

__"Okay! Jeesh!" Sam said, turning back to Cas. "I guess we better hurry up."_ _

__"Yes, we better," Cas said, starting to walk towards his lover and brother. "And Sam? I will not tell Dean about your relationship with my brother for now. Although I do hope that you will tell him yourself."_ _

__"No need, cause I don't have a relationship with your brother," Sam insisted._ _

__Sam could have sworn that Cas smirked at that, but it was gone so quick he wasn't sure. He followed Cas in shortened strides so he could keep pace with the angel, as they went and joined their brothers to head to lunch,_ _


	52. Chapter 52

Dean held Nova on his lap, as they waited for their lunch of pancakes and pies to be brought over. Nova looked around the room with wide blue eyes that were desperately trying to take in everything that was surrounding her, as Dean was busy talking with Gabriel about Pestilence, and how they would go about finding him. Sam sat sullenly in the corner of the booth, evidently still not over his bad mood from earlier.

"He's in an old folks home?" Dean asked, surprised. "Seems a little bit of an anticlimactic place for a Horseman to be hanging out. Shouldn't he be engaging in mass slaughter somewhere?"

"You've never been to war, have you?" Gabriel challenged, lifting an eyebrow. "You never send your generals out to the front line. You keep them somewhere safe and sound, cause you don't want to risk the brains of your outfit dying."

"Gabriel's right," Cas concurred, as he slid into the booth beside Dean, returning with the bottle of formula he'd gone to heat for Nova. "Think about where you have encountered the other Horsemen. Both were in small towns, out of the way of the main battle. It's likely that they were being sequestered there while bigger plans were being implemented elsewhere. It makes perfect sense that Pestilence would be hiding out in a retirement village."

Cas scoops Nova from Dean's arms, and begins to feed her.

"Yeah. But there must be better places to hang out than an old folks home," Dean insisted.

"Seems like a perfectly logical location to me," Cas said, while Nova fed. "It is in Pestilence's nature to want to induce illness and death. No one would look askance at residents becoming ill and dying there."

"So he's there so he can entertain himself killing the oldies. Awesome," Dean said, sighing and rubbing his face. "Alright, then. So how do we go about killing the bastard?"

"Hey, don't look at me! I'm Switzerland," Gabriel insisted. "Just because I got you guys some information, doesn't mean I'm down for fighting an Apocalypse for you."

"Stow your crap, Gabriel," Sam snapped, arms held tightly across his chest from his location in the corner of the booth. "You and I both know you're involved, so quit your bitching and be useful."

Sam and Gabriel glared at each other for a moment, before Gabriel threw his hands up in defeat.

"Fine!" he ceded, leaning back into the booth besides Sam. "Just don't expect me to go all wrath of heaven for this. I'm just gonna help out enough that you guys don't get turned into toast."

"Thank you," Sam said, in a very sarcastic manner.

Dean's brows furrowed as he looked between his brother and the archangel, trying to work out what was going on. He turned to Cas, to see if he could help, but he was busily focusing all his attention on holding Nova's bottle at just the right angle so she could feed.

Dean opened his mouth to say something, but just then they were interrupted.

"Okay! I've got your cherry pie, your apple pie, your banoffee pie, your pecan pie, your short stack of pancakes with extra cream and strawberries, and your buckwheat pancake with cinnamon sugar," the waitress said cheerily, as she placed the array in front of the men.

"And thank you!" Gabriel announced, reaching out to drag the plate of pancakes towards himself. He picked up the jar of maple syrup, and began pouring it over his already over-toppinged lunch.

"You know, Dean, we don't actually need to kill Pestilence," Cas pointed out, as Dean stuck his fork into the first of his four slices of pie. "We just need to remove his ring."

"Yeah. It's actually better if you don't kill him," Gabriel concurred, around a mouthful of pancake. "Don't want to risk ending the world, or anything."

"...What?" Dean asked.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow.

"You guys do know what the four Horsemen are, right?" Gabriel asked, looking as the brothers. "They're the embodiment of universal suffering."

"Well, that sounds cheery," Dean said. "Wouldn't want to destroy that."

Gabriel sighed, looking at Dean like he was trying to explain something to a four year old.

"Dad created the Horsemen to represent the evils that would befall the universe should suffering ever reign supreme," Gabriel explained. "Once Lucie fell, he bound their essences to their rings, and bound their rings to the Cage, to symbolise the consequences should Lucie ever escape. The Cage can only continue to exist as long as they continue to exist. Not to mention, that the suffering that each represent will only be able to be contained as long as they are there to contain it. You kill Pestilence, and uncontrollable disease will break out on this planet."

"Well, that would have been nice to know earlier," Dean said, looking at Cas.

"Don't blame Cassie," Gabriel insisted. "I'm not even sure if he'd been created when the Horsemen were. They might be tied to the Cage, but they existed long before it."

"What do you mean, the Horsemen are tied to the Cage?" Sam asked, pulling himself straighter from where he'd been slouching in the corner.

"Just that their rings are the keys to the Cage," Gabriel said, nonchalantly, as he scooped more pancake into his mouth. "I think Dad meant it as some sort of symbolism that whoever opened the Cage had to accept each of the horrors that they'd be unleashing to do so. Sad you guys had to go the sixty-six seals route."

"Wait - the rings open the Cage?" Sam asked.

Gabriel nodded.

"Does that mean they can close it again, if we get Lucifer back in it?"

"Well, yeah," Gabriel said, like it should be obvious.

"How did I not know this?" Cas asked, looking disappointed in himself.

"Well, it wasn't exactly something that Dad wanted getting out. Getting four rings is a lot easier than opening sixty-six seals," Gabriel pointed out.

Sam leaned across the table, to look at his brother intently.

"We only need two more rings, and then we have a way of defeating Lucifer."

"Only if we figure out a way of tricking him back into the Cage, so we can lock it," Dean pointedly out.

"I'm sure we can figure that out, once we get the rings," Sam insisted, although his mind was already whirling around some ideas.

"It's the best idea we got so far," Dean agreed. "So all we have to do is get two more rings."

"Without killing Pestilence in the process," Sam added.

Dean nodded.

"Definitely," he concurred. "So I think we're gonna have to be a bit more careful with our planning, in this case. I think it's time we called in the cavalry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still hate typing on my iPad, but it's the only way I'm ever going to get this done.
> 
> Also thanks for all the comments, guys! I'm loving seeing your thoughts on the fic so far! Makes the irritation of writing on an iPad worth it!


	53. Chapter 53

"Alright!" Dean announced, throwing the door open and walking into the room Sam got adjacent to Dean and Cas'. "Just got off the phone with Jo. She and Ellen are down to come join us to hunt Pestilence."

Sam startled, almost knocking the laptop he had onto the floor.

"Jesus, Dean! Don't you knock?" Sam demanded, righting himself as he tried to regain some dignity.

"Dude - Apocalypse," Dean said, like it somehow excused his lack of manners. "Don't have time to waste on knocking."

"But what if I'd been busy?" Sam asked.

"Doing what?" Dean asked, tilting his head to the left. Sam wondered if Dean even knew he'd picked up that trait from Cas. "Or should I ask, whom?"

The cheeky brow raise was far more in keeping with his brother's normal mannerisms.

"Not like that!" Sam insisted, wanting to steer the conversation as far away from his sex life as possible. "I was just saying it'd be nice if you'd knock, just in case I don't want you in here."

"In case you're watching a bit of Casa Erotica or something - gotcha," Dean said, winking while pointing a finger gun at Sam. "Anyway - as much as I love talking to my little brother about him spanking the monkey, I was wondering if we could be back to talking about the end of the world for just a moment."

Sam sighed, leaning back onto his bed.

"So - Jo and Ellen are in?" Sam asked. "And we've already got Bobby and two angels on board."

" _One_ angel," Dean corrected. "Cas is gonna sit this one out with Nova."

Sam's brows furrowed.

"And Cas is okay with you going marching off to war without him?" Sam asked.

"I think okay is an overstatement," Dean ceded, coming to sit on the edge of Sam's bed. "But it's not like we have much of a choice. Can hardly leave a four-month old baby home on her own. Has to have one of her parents with her. Better to have the one with superpowers."

"You know, Dean, you don't have to come with us to the showdown with Pestilence," Sam said. "No one is going to judge you for sitting this one out."

"And let you have all the fun?" Dean joked, punching his brother lightly in the shoulder. "No way I'm letting you have all the glory."

In spite of his brother's jocular tone, Sam could see the tension he carried in the corner of his eyes and in the set of his shoulders. He couldn't help but remember back when Dean had announced he was sitting out on confronting Lucifer with the Colt (thank God they didn't end up doing that!), when he said he never wanted to make Nova a Hunter's orphan. 

Sam couldn't help but feel guilty, knowing Dean was doing this more so he could keep Sam safe than it was to defeat Lucifer. But even though Sam had given lip service to the idea of Dean missing the showdown, he was glad Dean dismissed the idea. As much as he hated himself for it, he wanted his brother there. It didn't matter that he had an archangel on his side. Sam always had, and always will feel safer knowing that his big brother had his back.

"Hey, I'm gonna have all the glory, whether you come along or not," Sam teased, poking his brother in the stomach. "Fatherhood has made you go soft - literally."

Dean smiled warmly at his little brother.

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

Dean sighed, standing.

"Well, I guess I better go get some shut eye, seeming we're gonna get heading off at the ass-crack of dawn," Dean said.

"See? Soft," Sam said, teasingly.

"Hey - you try having a four-month-old waking you up every couple hours, and _you_ see how much you begin to appreciate sleep," Dean said, pointing his finger at him.

"Just as well I use condoms, then," Sam teased, ignoring last night's indiscretion.

"Whatever. Some day, it's gonna happen to you too," Dean said. "When this Apocalypse is all said and done and Lucifer is tucked back into his cage. you're eventually gonna meet some girl and settle down and have yourself a whole little league team, and then you'll know what it's like."

Sam felt the corner of his mouth pull tight.

"Yeah... Sure, Dean," he said, forcing a smile to his face. "And then you'll spend the next eighteen years reminding me of this conversation and how you were right."

"Damn straight!" Dean said, rubbing his hand through Sam's mop of hair. "Night, Sammy."

"Night, Dean."

Sam forced his smile to stay on his face until his brother had left the room. He took a deep breath in, and sighed, allowing the uncomfortable feeling he had trying to hide be felt.

As much as Dean had always tried to deny it, he had always wanted the apple-pie kind of life - partner, kids, a home to call his own. Sam figured it was because Dean actually _remembered_ what that kind of life was like. Sam didn't. As much as Dean always projected that dream onto Sam, it wasn't actually something that Sam wanted, or could even imagine. Even when he had gone to Stanford and pretended to be 'normal', it had never sat quite right. It always felt like another disguise to Sam, a thinly veiled illusion that would inevitably crack. But Sam had allowed Dean to project him dreams onto him, knowing that his brother would never actively seek them out for himself as he did what Dean always did and gave up his dreams for others - in this case, being their dad's dutiful little soldier.

But somehow, in the shit storm of their lives, Dean had managed to stumble into the very thing that he had always wanted but never thought he'd be allowed to have - even if that came in the form of a holy tax accountant and a child made out of off-cuts of their spiritual essences. And somehow, knowing that, made Sam feel better about the fact that it was a life he would never lead - especially seeming he knew he wasn't even going to have a life for much longer.

As excited as everyone was when they found out that they could use the four Horsemen's rings to open the Cage, what none of them had actually voiced was how they planned to get Lucifer back in it. It wasn't like they could just open the door, stand by it and lure the Devil back in with carrots and sugar cubes. There was no way Lucifer was going down without a fight, and even the entirety of Team Free Will - even with the addition of their very own archangel - would not be a match for him. That meant that the only way they were going to get Lucifer back in the Cage was to trick him in, and Sam could only see one way of doing that.

Sam was Lucifer's true vessel. That put him in a very unique place to manipulate the fallen angel. Sam had seen Bobby overcome demonic possession - however briefly - to save Dean's life. Sam _knew_ \- just knew - that if he was in the same situation, he could overcome even the Devil himself if it meant saving his family from the end of the world. And then Dean and Cas could move to Sioux Fall near Bobby. Dean could work with Bobby in the scrap yard. Maybe Cas could get a job at a library or something (because how useful would an angel be there, giving that they literally knew everything about the entire history of the universe?) and together they could watch Nova grow up. It was a future Sam thought was worth sacrificing himself for.

Not that Sam was going to tell Dean that. He wasn't going to tell anyone his plans for getting rid of Lucifer. He knew that even though it was the only possible option, no one else in his dysfunctional family would even consider allowing himself to sacrifice himself, even if it meant saving the world. Hell, they would go out of their way to prevent it.

Sam's musings were interrupted when an archangel suddenly appeared at the end of his bed.

"Goddamn it! Doesn't anyone knock any more?" Sam asked, shifting his laptop to the side.

"What's the matter, Samboy? Watching porn?" Gabriel asked, raising a lascivious eyebrow.

_Why does everyone keep asking me that?_ Sam thought, but didn't voice it, instead replying with, "No."

"...Do you want to make some instead?" Gabriel asked, smirking.

Sam sighed, shifting his laptop to the beside table.

"Sure. Why not?" Sam said, figuring that seeming his days on earth were numbered, he might as well enjoy them. "But you're not filming it!"

"I never took you for a prude," Gabriel said, pulling his pants off in a decidedly human fashion.

"I'm not. Would just hate to think what you'd do with something like that."

"Sam, I'm hurt!" Gabriel said, placing an offended hand over his chest. "You think I would share something so private just to get a few cheap laughs?"

"Yes."

"Yeah... I would," Gabriel ceded, a smile cracking across his face. "Oh - but could you imagine the look on your brother's face?"

"If you want to get in my pants, that better be the last time my brother is mentioned tonight," Sam warned.

"Aye, aye, Captain!" Gabriel said, giving a mock salute before jumping onto the bed.

Sam couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips before they were claimed by the angel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know - it's been forever since I've posted here. I'm sorry! Forgive me?
> 
> As luck would have it, I got sick and ended up in hospital for quite some time. I'm all better now, but it took some time before getting back to my creative self.
> 
> The worst part is, I can't promise that I'm going to be better at updating from here on out. Free time is fairly short on hand at the moment, what with work and moving and changing jobs and I have a holiday next month! But I'm going to try my best to get this damned thing finished. I know how frustrated I would be if I got 60k+ words through a fic, only to have it never finish. You guys just have to be patient with me while I do so.


	54. Chapter 54

Dean never thought he'd ever say this, but he missed Angel Air.

Then again, he never thought he'd be stuck in his beloved Baby on a five-day road trip across the country with his brother, two angels and a squalling four-month-old in the backseat. Although as it turned out, the baby was proving to be less problematic than a certain archangel.

"I'm hot! Can we pull over for ice-cream?" Gabriel whined, leaning forward to shove his head between where Dean and Sam sat in the front seat.

"You're an archangel," Dean sighed, rolling his eyes. "You can't feel the heat."

"That's not strictly true," Cas corrected, from where he sat beside Nova in her car seat in the back. "Angels - even archangels - are able to sense temperature. It's just that we are not discomfited by it, like humans are, given that it is unlikely to hurt us."

"...unless it's holy fire," Cas added as an afterthought.

"Yeah... well... I may not be _discomfited_ by it, but it doesn't mean I like it," Gabriel whined. "Ice-cream. Now."

"No," Dean said. "We only pulled over an hour ago. If we keep up like this, we're never going to get back to Bobby's today."

"But that was for Nova," Gabriel whined. "Now _I_ wanna stop for ice-cream."

"Nova is a baby, and she has human needs. Sometimes that means stopping for a diaper change," Cas said.

"And she's been less hassle than you are," Dean added, turning his head to look at the pouting celestial being. "Seriously, man. Why don't you just wing out and go wait for us at Bobby's if the trip is bothering you so much?"

"What? And feel left out when you guys bond on your Great American Road Trip and don't want me around anymore?"

"I don't want you around now!" Dean snapped, exasperated. "Besides, he's my brother that I literally went to Hell for, he's my lover that pulled me back out of Hell, and that's my baby. I think we're about as bonded as we can be."

"Whatever," Gabriel said, sounding every bit like the petulant teenager as he leaned back into his seat and folded his arms across his chest. "Still think it'd be better with ice-cream."

Suddenly, an ice-cream cone appeared in Gabriel's hand. For some reason, one appeared in Sam's hand, too.

"Hey! Why does Sam get ice-cream?" Dean demanded, turning around to watch the archangel lick the ice-cream that had already started to melt onto his fingers. (Okay - maybe he _was_ right about it being hot.)

"Because _he_ was on my side," Gabriel said, taking another lick.

"I was not!" Sam insisted.

"Well, you weren't against it," Gabriel said. "Unlike my brother, Mister Mom over there and Grumpy McGrumpipants."

Dean groaned.

"When is this going to be over?" Dean asked.

"It's not much longer," Cas comforted, leaning forward to place a hand on Dean's shoulder and squeeze. "Only another seven hours. We're nearly at the border."

Dean groaned again, as Cas started to card his fingers through his hair in an attempt to soothe him. Dean couldn't see that the other angel also leaned forward, to blow his ice-cream cooled breath onto his brother's neck. Sam tried his best not to flinch.

"I told you things are better with ice-cream," the archangel whispered into his ear, before leaning back into his seat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look! Two chapters in two days! I'm on a roll!
> 
> Yes, yes. This one is very short, but at least it's progress.


	55. Chapter 55

It had been a really long time since Jo had last seen Dean.

Like... a _really_ long time.

As in, facing-down-one-of-the-four-Horsemen-of-the-Apocalypse long time. 

Since their time in that town fighting guerrilla warfare against the townsfolk under the illusion that they were demons, Jo and her mom had managed to avoid any serious Apocalyptic events. Jo was pretty sure it was because her mom - ever overprotective - was orchestrating it that way. Which was why Jo was so excited when she got the call from Dean to hall her ass down to South Dakota so they could go hunting another Horseman.

Well... one of the reasons.

There had always been _something_ going on between Jo and Dean. Playful flirting but strictly look but don't touch - mostly because Jo's mother put the fear of God into Dean, so he wouldn't dare cross the line from cocky-older-brother-she-never-had into something more. 

But it _was_ kind of the end of the world, and things like that kind of put things into perspective. If now wasn't the time to explore what could be with Dean, then it never was going to be.

Jo was trying to not be to obvious, as she glanced sidelong at herself in the small mirror on the wall in Bobby's lounge, when she heard the familiar purr of an engine from outside.

 _Okay, Jo. Keep it cool_ , she coached herself. _It's just Dean. Remember, he drools all over you, not the other way around._

Any attempt at Jo keeping it cool ended when Dean walked through the door with a screaming baby in his arms.

"Dean," some strange man wearing a trench coat said, waving a bottle at him. "Try giving Nova the bottle again. She might be hungry."

"You've been trying to do that for the last damned hour and a half," Dean said, bouncing from foot to foot as he shushed at the squalling babe. "If she wanted the bottle, she would have taken it by now. I think she's just sick of being stuck in the car with your brother."

"I don't think her social skills have really developed enough at this stage to make those kinds of opinions..."

"Yeah? Well, maybe she's just picking up on the fact that _I'm_ sick of your brother. Seriously - now I know why the Big Guy gave you the ability to teleport. _Nobody_ deserves to be stuck in an enclosed space for that long with Gabriel," Dean said, continuing to do his weird baby dance.

"Jo!" Dean announced, a smile alighting his face when his eyes finally fell on her. "Hey, look. I'm sorry about the baby. Sadly, they don't come with an off button."

Jo's mouth just opened and shut like a fish, as Bobby and Ellen entered the room.

"Is that... a baby?" she asked, fully aware how stupid that sounded coming out of her mouth.

"I sure hope so," Dean said. "Otherwise I'll have to figure out where I left mine. Hey, Ellen! Bobby!"

"Thought I heard someone complaining," Bobby grumbled. "And Nova, crying, too."

"Oh, har har," Dean said. "Trust me, if I could get her to stop, I would."

"Give her to me," Ellen said, holding her arms out as Dean gratefully passed Nova to her. "Bobby told me you'd managed to go and make a baby. Would have been thought you would have been used to this by now."

"Wait - it's _your_ baby?" Jo said, disbelieving. "With who?"

"With me," the trench coated man said, watching his child with eerily blue eyes as she rapidly settled with Ellen's expert touch.

"You must be Castiel," Ellen said, holding out a hand for Castiel to shake now that Nova had settled down. "I'm Ellen. Bobby's told me so much about you."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Castiel said, gravely.

"Wait - you knew about this?" Jo demanded.

"Well, yeah, sweetie," Ellen said, looking at her daughter much like she had when Jo had said something stupid as a child. "It's what happens when you talk to people, instead of staring at yourself in a mirror."

"I was not!" Jo said, trying to hide her flush.

Castiel tilted his head to the side, as he turned to look at Jo.

"Joanna Beth - learn some manners and introduce yourself," Ellen said, rolling her eyes at her daughter. "Castiel, this is my daughter - Joanna Beth Harvelle. She prefers to go by Jo."

"Hello, Jo," he said, extending a hand. "My name is Castiel."

"Yeah, I got that," Jo said, folding her arms across her chest and ignoring Dean's outstretched hand. "And who are you, when you're not a glorified milk dispenser?"

"Jo!"

"I take it you refer to my attempt at provisioning Nova with milk," Castiel said, not sounding offended in the slightest. "But if you're asking what I am, I am an Angel of the Lord."

"...You're shitting me," Jo said, eyes widening.

"Nope," Dean said, proudly placing a hand on the shorter man's shoulder. "I've got myself my very own guardian angel."

"Is that why he's helping you raise a baby?" Jo asked, hoping to make sense of the situation.

"That, and because I'm her mother," Castiel said.

Dean sighed.

"Cas, we talked about the whole calling yourself the M-word," Dean muttered.

"But I am Nova's mother," Castiel insisted. "I birthed her. That is the correct term."

"How can you be her mother?" Jo demanded. "You're a dude!"

"Manners!" Ellen snapped.

Castiel didn't look offended, however. He just shook his head.

"Angels do not actually possess genders," Castiel explained. "I just happen to inhabit a male vessel at this point in time."

"Yeah, but that male vessel still has a dick, right?" Jo insisted. "So how did you get knocked up."

"Nova's conception was unconventional," Castiel explained. "She was created when Dean sacrificed a part of his soul to save my life, as opposed to any sort of biological combination of ova and spermatazoa."

"Basically she's a soul/Grace baby," Dean added, although that description did not make it any easier for Jo to understand.

"Wow," Jo said, dumbstruck. "Just... wow."

"I can discuss the process in more detail, if you'd like," Castiel offered. "Although the exact mechanism of such an event is not entirely well understood."

"Hey, Cas. I don't think explaining it any more is actually gonna help. I get confused by the whole thing, and I'm half of it," Dean said, slapping a hand back on Cas' shoulder and squeezing. Jo felt her stomach squeeze just that little bit when Dean proceeded to wrap his arms around the other man's waist. "So how about you go grab Sleeping Beauty from Ellen so we can put her to bed, and we can try to get a bit of shut-eye before dinner?"

Cas hummed, placing a gentle hand over Dean's where it was wrapped around his waist.

"I'm fine, Dean. I don't actually need to rest... Oh."

Cas' eyes widened as he turned to look at Dean for a moment. Jo wasn't sure what unspoken communication had happened between the pair had happened just then, but if the slightly shocked expression on the angel's face and the lascivious elevation of a brow from Dean was anything to go by, she had an idea of the message.

"Yes. I think you're right," Cas said, gravely. "I think it is _definitely_ time for Nova to go to bed. And us, too."

Ellen just chuckled, gently handing over the now sleeping babe to her 'mother'. The group watched the new family make their way upstairs.

Bobby just shook his head.

"Newlyweds."

"I hope you have good insulation in these walls, Bobby," Ellen said.

"Gross, Ma!"

"No need," Bobby said. "Having an irritable baby in the room does the job of keeping those boys quiet for me."

"Where's Sam?" Jo demanded, desperate to change the topic.

"Probably outside unpacking the car," Bobby said.

Jo just shook her head, folding her arms across her chest, as she stormed outside to see what was taking Sam so long. Ellen sighed, as she watched her irritable daughter leave.

"Children," Ellen said. "I don't know what goes through their heads, half the time."

"I don't think it's her head being noisy, this time," Bobby said, placing a hand on Ellen's arm. "Come on. Let's go see what Sam's up to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay - I'm apologising in advance for how Jo is gonna act in the future. I know her character doesn't deserve it, but I kinda need it for the story.


	56. Chapter 56

"Dean, no."

"What? You're the one who forced me to read all those baby-rearing books," Dean said. "It says that when a baby starts to show an interest in food, you should let them try it."

"Dean - you are not going to try and feed our four-month-old daughter pie," Castiel said gravely.

Dean grinned, as he shifted Nova in his lap, from where she was trying to reach towards his plate, and winked.

"Hey - she's my daughter after all. You have to have figured she'd have good taste," Dean said.

Castiel didn't say anything. He just reached out and retrieved his daughter from the other man's lap, yet he try to corrupt her more with his taste in desserts.

Jo watched this exchange from where she sat on her side of the table, her fork hovering half-way towards her mouth. She glanced around the table at the others, who all had facial expressions some equivalent of 'aww' on their faces, and couldn't help but feel like this all was madness.

This was Dean _freaking_ Winchester, for God's sake! He was once the very epitome of what a man's man was - Hell, Jo had even seen him shave with a damned Bowie knife once. How could it be possible that he had suddenly become the type of man to start reading baby books - baby books that were suggested by his _male lover_.

Seriously - if there was ever going to be any evidence that the world was coming to an end, it was this.

Jo just sighed and stabbed her fork into her slice of apple pie.

"Come on, Cas. Just try it," Dean said, waving a pie-laden fork at the angel.

"For what purpose?" Cas asked, shifting the baby away from where she was reaching out towards the proffered fork. "Dean, you know everything I eat tastes of molecules, and I do not require the nutrition."

"To see that I'm not trying to poison our daughter," he said, waving the fork at him again.

"You are _not_ feeding pie to Nova," Cas insisted. "Besides, even if it _were_ poisoned, my angelic form would protect this vessel from..."

Cas was cut off suddenly by the press of Dean's lips against his own. His eyes widened in shock briefly, before parting his lips slightly to allow Dean access. Cas was just starting to relax into the kiss when Dean pulled away just as abruptly, smiling.

"Cas, what did that taste like?" Dean asked seriously.

Cas looked momentarily confused by the question, before he replied.

"It tasted wonderful."

"Well, I taste like pie," Dean said. "See how good pie tastes?"

"Oh my God! Seriously?" Jo snapped. "It's bad enough knowing you two bump uglies in private. You don't have to rub it in our faces."

Jo watches as all the heads at the table swivelled to face her - some decidedly less impressed than others.

"Excuse me?" Dean demanded, raising an unimpressed eyebrow.

"You heard me," Jo said. "I don't wanna see that, okay? So just quit it."

"What's the matter, Jo?" Dean asked. "Didn't think you'd be the type of person to be bothered by a little PDA."

"Normally, I wouldn't be," Jo said, folding her arms across her chest. "But that's disgusting."

"And just what is that meant to mean?" Dean demanded, pushing himself up from the table with his hands.

"Dean..." Sam warned, reaching out to place a hand on his brother's arm. 

Dean shrugged him off.

"No, no, Sam. I want to hear this," Dean said, voice almost too calm. "Why are PDAs normally not a bad thing, but when I do it with my boyfriend, it is?"

"You're kidding me, right?" Jo said. "Look - I never picked you for a fudge-packer, okay? So while I think it's great that you're sodomising an angel behind closed doors, I don't want to be reminded of it over dinner."

"Actually... normally it's Dean who..."

Dean silences Cas with a hand on his shoulder - an action that seems remarkably calm seeming the fury that was currently radiating from the Hunter.

"Do you have a problem with the fact that I'm having a relationship with a dude?" Dean asked.

"It's my vessel that is a 'dude'. Strictly, I don't..."

"Not important, Cas," Dean said. "Jo - do you have something against the fact that I'm in a relationship with a man?"

It didn't escape Cas' attention that Dean was quivering. He could feel the motion in the hand that still rested on his shoulder, squeezing gently. Dean's face itself was oddly devoid of emotion. It was almost like he was trying to suppress his feelings, until he had more conclusive evidence that those feelings were justified.

"Well... Yeah," Jo said, ignoring the voice in her head that sounded surprisingly like her mother telling her to shut up. 

Dean scoffed.

"Wow, Jo. Never took you for a bigot."

"I'm not a bigot," she insisted. "It's just hard to believe that the person who is supposedly meant to save the world is a fag who enjoys getting ridden like a rodeo bull every night."

"Hate to tell you, Jo, but that sounds pretty damned bigoted to me," Dean said. "Look - I really don't give a shit what you think about me. After all these years of friendship - after all the times I've _saved your life_ , you think I'm a pansy just because I fell in love with a _person_ rather than a body, then it's your loss. Hell, I don't want you here, if that kind of hatred is hiding in side of you. Get out."

"...What?"

"You heard me - get out," Dean said, actually pointing at the door. "Congratulations, Jo. You've just earned yourself a benchwarmer's seat to the Apocalypse. I don't want you or your hate anywhere near me or my family, so you can just watch how this 'fag' saves the world from a distance."

"You can't do that," Jo insisted, standing. "You're the one that asked me here. You need me. Mom..."

Ellen just shook her head.

"Joanna Beth, just go," she said, her voice quiet but direct. She could hear the disappointment in her voice.

Jo looked around the table, at the disgusted faces that were looking back at her, and felt her stomach twist. 

"Fine," Jo said.

She lifted her chin, trying to reclaim some of her dignity as she stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

Ellen sighed.

"Dean..."

"It's fine," Dean interrupted, not waiting for Ellen's apology. "Jo's a big girl. I don't blame you for her opinions."

"I honestly raised her better than that," Ellen said. "I don't know what's gotten into her."

"I know," Dean said.

Dean shook his head, before turning and leaving the room. He sighed and slumped against the corridor wall, forehead resting on the slightly abrasive wallpaper. Dean felt a hand start to rub comforting circles between his shoulder blades. He turned his head, and found Cas standing there (without Nova, he noticed) and smiled.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that, Cas," Dean said.

"It's fine," Cas said. "I know certain humans take issue with members of the same sex engaging in carnal relations - even if it's only the perceived genders of the parties involved. I do not care about their opinions, and I do not care about Joanna's. I hardly know her enough for her opinion to matter to me. However, you do. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Dean said, standing up to face Cas properly, as he rubbed a tired hand across his face. "I always knew that if you and I actually got our shit together, that some people would have an issue with it. I just never expected it to be Jo. She was always like a little sister to me."

"Don't judge her too harshly," Cas said, reaching up to place a hand on Dean's shoulder. "I have found in my short time on Earth, that humans tend to have very fixed views on the world around them. When something comes along to challenge that view, they tend to lash out. I cannot tell if the views Joanna expressed tonight are truly her feelings or not, but at least give her a chance to calm down and think things through. You might find her opinion about such things is not quite so harsh when she's had time to process."

"She shouldn't need time to process," Dean said. "She shouldn't be having feelings about this at all."

"Maybe it's the fact that she has feelings for you at all that is the issue," Cas said. "I remember the irrational hatred I felt whenever I saw you pick up a woman for intercourse in the bar. I didn't know at the time why I felt those things, but I do now. You might find that Jo's reaction to our relationship could be for a similar reason."

"Cas - I never knew you were the jealous type," Dean said, teasingly, trying to lighten the mood. "Besides, Jo was never in love with me."

"I would hope not," Cas said. "But there are emotions other than love that are far less threatening that would lead someone to feel possessive."

"Look - I don't care," Dean said, trying to end the conversation. "Can we just... go back and pretend like tonight never happened?"

"Of course," Cas said. "Although that would mean that you would need to explain to me again why feeding our daughter pie would not be a bad thing."

Dean smiled. He reached up a hand to grab Cas by the nape of his neck, before pulling him in to kiss him.

"It still tastes wonderful," Cas said, when he pulled away.

Dean chuckled.

"You know I love you, right?" Dean said, hand still on the back of Cas' neck.

"I love you, too, Dean Winchester," Cas said. "Always and forever."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? I told you I was going to be mean to Jo.
> 
> I actually found it really difficult to write something that was homophobic, and couldn't find the words to express that kind of bigotry. I guess I'm lucky I've never really seen anyone experience that type of discrimination in real life before, although I'm fully aware that it happens.
> 
> If you're wondering, no, I do not think that Jo is canonically homophobic. I don't think she even really is here. I think she's just upset that Dean's found someone else, and she is sublimating her feelings in to the idea that it's Cas' gender that's the issue, not just because she's jealous. I'm pretty sure she'll come good with time and learn what we all know - that love is love is love is love.
> 
> Also - this fic is now more than 70k words! Wowsers! Never thought it was going to end up with big when I started. I really need to start wrapping things up...
> 
> Next stop, Pestilence.


	57. Chapter 57

Dean hated saying goodbye to Cas.

He always had. Even before they had become a couple - which was why they normally hadn't.

It had always been that one minute, Cas was there, the next he wasn't. And that always suited Dean down to the ground. Back when he was having trouble understanding exactly what Cas meant to him, he didn't want to let Cas know just how much he would miss him when he wasn't there. He didn't want to acknowledge that little fear that sat in the back of his head that that might be the last time he would ever see his angel - because back then, he wasn't _his_ angel. He hadn't felt like he had the right to miss him.

But times had changed dramatically since then, and looking back on it, it seemed like Dean's refusal to say goodbye made it seem like he took Cas for granted. Dean never wanted for Cas to feel like he was taken for granted. There were so few people in the world that Dean could truly say that he loved. He never wanted another day to go by without letting Cas know just how much he loved him - because, let's face it. When you're facing down one of the four Horsemen in the middle of the Apocalypse, every day just _might_ be your last day.

The boot of the Impala gave a comforting thud when it closed, Dean pressing down lightly on it to make sure the latch caught. Dean turned to face Cas, who remained a couple feet away, arms hanging listlessly by his sides as he'd watched Dean finish packing the last of their supplies.

Dean was surprised when Cas strode forward, wrapping his arms around Dean's shoulders and hugging him tight. Dean grunted slightly as Cas squeezed, being reminded once again of his angelic strength. 

"Cas," Dean grunted, patting him on the back. "Cas... It's okay."

Cas pulled away abruptly, holding Dean at arm's length. Dean noticed that Cas' eyes glinted with unshed tears.

"I could go with you," Cas said, voice cracking on the words.

"No, Cas," Dean said, raising a hand to rest it where Cas' remained on his shoulder.

"I can't let you go face a Horseman on your own," Cas said. "It's not safe. You could get hurt."

"Yeah, I could get hurt," Dean acknowledged. There was no point denying it, after all. "But, Cas, I need you to stay here. I know it's hard, but Nova needs you. I _need_ you to look after her for me, cause I sure as Hell know that I wouldn't be able to focus if I didn't know that she was safe. And then I'd be much more likely to get hurt."

Cas just nodded.

"Hey - look at me," Dean said, resting a hand on Cas' jaw and lifting his face to meet his eyes. "I love you - you know that, right?"

Cas smiled ruefully.

"I know."

Dean frowned.

"Did you just Han Solo me?" he asked, incredulously.

"Dean, you know I don't understand that..."

Cas' protests about his limited knowledge of pop culture was silence by the press of Dean's lips to his own. Dean could taste the saltiness of the tears that had managed to escape. He cupped Cas' face in his hands, and traced them back to their source, until he had kissed away each and every one.

"I love you," he repeated, his forehead pressed against Cas'. "Always and forever."

"I love you, too," Cas replied. "Always and forever."

Dean smiled, and pulled away.

"I will be back," he promised. "After all, what's the worst Pestilence can do? Kill me? Been there, done that."

Cas frowned.

"Please don't joke about your demise, Dean," Cas said seriously. "You should not allow your previous resurrections to allow you to become complacent about the finality of death."

"I know, Cas," Dean said. "It was a joke - about how not even death could keep me away from you."

"As romantic as that notion is, I would appreciate it if you did not put it to the test," Cas said.

Dean couldn't help his chuckle.

"It really is a lot of effort resurrecting you," Cas continued. "Especially with my now-limited access to Heaven, and I had the assistance of an entire garrison of angels when I raised you from Perdition..."

Dean kissed Cas again, just to shut him up.

"I promise, Cas," Dean said. "No dying, unless I can't avoid it. Now, I really do need to get going..."

"Goodbye, Dean," Cas said, taking a step back. "I will see you when you get back."

"Bye, Cas."

Dean gave him one last warm smile, before he went and hopped into the Impala. He sighed, and turned around to look at his travelling companions.

"Oh, no," Dean said. "No. Nup. Not a chance."

"What?" Gabriel asked innocently, from where he was wedged in between Bobby and Ellen.

"No way in Hell am I spending another eight hours in the car with _you_ , when you're perfectly capable of flying there," Dean said. "Nope. Not a chance in Hell."

Gabriel put on his puppy dog eyes. They weren't nearly as effective as Sam's. 

"I'm not buying it, Trickster," Dean said, twisting around and pointing a finger at the archangel. "Out. You can go ahead and scout, or something."

Gabriel gave an exaggerated sigh.

"Fine. But I'm taking the moose with me," he said, reaching out to grab Sam by the shoulder and both disappearing.

Dean shook his head, and sighed.

"Sorry, Sammy," he said to the wind, before starting the engine. "Your sacrifice will not be forgotten."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are SO CLOSE to 300 kudos! I can't believe it! Serious, guys. Thanks so much for the support you've given this fic so far. Especially given that I've been so haphazard with it, in terms of updating and content. It wouldn't be half the fic it is if it weren't for you guys.
> 
> And keep those comments coming! It's good motivation!


	58. Chapter 58

Dean had made some stupid decisions in his life, but it turned out that trying to face down Pestilence with only Bobby and Ellen as back up was turning out to be one of his worst. 

Dean had known that he should have stuck to the plan. He should have waited for Gabriel and Sam to make an appearance before raiding the old folk's home that the Horseman was currently playing in. But once again, he had allowed impatience to rule when his brother and their resident screw-up of an archangel had failed to make an appearance, and had gone storming in anyway. And now, he was probably going to die. Even worse - Bobby and Ellen were probably going to, as well. And he had no one to blame for it, but himself.

 _Where the Hell are they?_ Dean wondered, struggling to lift his head as his groggy eyes looked around the room, unable to focus.

Sam and Gabriel were meant to be here. Hell, they were meant to be here first, given that they were travelling by Angel Air. When the Impala had arrived first - after nearly eight hours on the road - it had been pretty obvious they just weren't coming. Although what could have possibly been more important than facing down a Horseman, Dean had no clue.

It had better be something of Earth-shattering importance, or else Dean was going to have to kick both their arses when he got out of this. If he got out of this.

Dean coughed, watching as splatters of red painted the floor in front of him.

"Hmm... you don't look well," Pestilence said, pulling himself languorously from the bed and walking over to where they lay on the floor. "It could be the scarlet fever, or, the... the meningitis. Oh - or the syphilis."

"Oh, we're just peachy," Bobby snarked, ever defiant in spite of the blood that currently coated his lower lip.

The corner of Pestilence's mouth twitched for a moment, as he leaned over and pulled Bobby's head up by his hair.

"However you feel right now," he said, leaning close enough that Bobby could feel his cold breath on the back of his neck, "it's going to get so very, very much worse."

"Disease gets a bad rap, don't you think?" Pestilence pontificated, standing. "For being filthy... chaotic... But really, that just describes people who get sick. Disease itself is very... pure. Single-minded. Bacteria have one purpose - divide and conquer. That's why in the end, it always wins."

"Not this time, asshole."

Dean's hazy eyes open wide with shock, as he hears a voice he didn't expect. His head swings around, but he's too out of it to focus on the blur that's jumped on to the Horseman's back. He hears a shout, before something comes to land immediately in front of his face - a finger with a ring attached.

And just like that, Dean was better. No headache, no nausea, no blood to cough up. He was just... better.

Dean pulled himself up into a sitting position, a hand reaching out to grab Pestilence's finger and the ring attached to it.

"Bobby... Ellen..." he calls out, watching as his Hunting partners righted themselves.

"Yeah, we're good," Bobby confirms.

Ellen pays Dean no mind.

"...Jo?"

"Hey, mom." 

Jo squats down beside her mom to place a hand on Ellen's shoulder. Ellen is less restrained, when she wraps her arms around Jo and pulls her into a tight hug.

"What the Hell do you think you are doing here?" she demands.

"Saving _you_ ," Jo points out, pulling back from her mom's grasp. "You're welcome, by the way."

Jo only smiles, when her mom slaps her shoulder, looking around the room to check on the others. She has the good sense to look away sheepishly, when she makes eye contact with Dean.

"We good?" she asks, looking at Bobby.

"Yeah, we're good," Bobby says again, like he hadn't just said that same sentence a couple minutes ago. "Thanks for saving our bacon, Jo."

"No problem," Jo said, standing up and brushing the dust from her shins. She looks at Dean for a moment, but seems to change her mind and look away again. "So, I don't know about you guys, but I'd like to get out of here, like, yesterday."

The others can't seem to disagree with that sentiment, and get up to leave. Jo stands by the door, as Ellen and Bobby leave the room, Bobby quickly patting Jo on the shoulder as he makes his way through the frame. Dean however, stops when he reaches Jo, and looks her straight in the eye.

"Dean... look..."

"Don't," Dean said. "You should know me well enough to know that I don't do being in someone else's debt. People do good things because it's the right thing to do, not because they think they can get a favour out of me later. So thank you, Jo. You might have just helped to save the world, but I don't owe you anything. This doesn't change or cancel out anything that's come before, and it will get you no favours from me in the future. We clear?"

Jo nodded solemnly.

"I didn't do this so you'd feel you owed me, Dean," Jo said, unable to cover the hurt in her voice. "I know what I said is unforgivable - and even though I _really_ didn't mean it the way it came out, I did say it and you're completely justified in hating me. Dean, I could never judge you based on who you love, and I'm horrified that I made it seem like I do. I really am happy for you and Castiel, and had I been more concerned about you than on my ego being hurt, I would have told you that rather than trying to make excuses for my jealousy.

"I don't want thanks for what I did tonight. I don't deserve it for doing what's right to do. And I fully understand that this changes nothing between us, and as soon as I get my mom out of here and make sure she's safe, I'll get out of your way," she promised.

Jo was surprised when strong arms pulled her into a hug. She scrunched her eyes shut, worried that if she opened them, that whatever illusion she was under might break.

She nearly cried when she felt Dean's chuckle vibrate through her body.

"Come on, Jo," Dean said, slinging an arm around her shoulder. "Let's get out of this Hell hole."

\--------------------------------------------------

It's a long drive back to Bobby's. 

What had taken nearly eight hours on the way there only took slightly more than six to get back, Dean's foot weighted by a sense of urgency to get back to his family, and irritation at his still-absent brother and archangel, to be bothered sticking to speed limits.

Sunrise is barely kissing the horizon when they get back. Dean doesn't even wait for the others to get out of the Impala, before heading indoors.

"Cas..." he calls, not caring if he wakes Nova. Hell, he'd be happy to hear her cry. Settling her would give him a reason to hold her in her arms. It had been too long.

"Cas," he calls again, when he gets no response.

Dean crosses into the lounge, and spots a shape lying on the couch. It's dressed in a tan trench coat, and decorated in blood.

"Cas!"

Dean throws himself down by the couch, reaching out to cup the unconscious angel's face with his hand.

"Cas - wake up. Wake up!"

"Easy, there, Dean," a voice comes from behind him.

Dean's head spins, to find Gabriel standing there in the door frame.

"What the Hell happened to Cas?" Dean demanded, heart racing.

"He's just sleeping," Gabriel said.

"Angels don't sleep," Dean pointed out.

"They do when I make them," Gabriel said, calmly. Too calmly.

"Why the Hell would you make Cas sleep?" Dean demanded. "And why is he covered in blood?"

Suddenly, realisation hit him.

"Gabriel, where's Nova?" Dean asks, his voice shaking slightly.

Gabriel sighed heavily, and shook his head.

"Gabriel, where the Hell is my daughter?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm back!
> 
> Sorry about the absence - again - but I had a good excuse this time. I was on holidays!
> 
> Actually, I was in Las Vegas, at the Supernatural convention. Yes, that's right, I got to see them all in person! Life achievement - completed.
> 
> But, yeah. I'm back now. I can't say I'm going to be any better at updating this, but at least I have one thing going for me - I know how it's going to finish!
> 
> Hooray!
> 
> Might be easier to finish, now that I have a plot to finish it with.
> 
> Anyway, if you're still following this, thanks for waiting for me. I know how annoying it is waiting for a fic to be updated. I hope it's worth the wait.


	59. Chapter 59

Cas didn't know how long he stood there, watching the Impala as it disappeared into a cloud of smoke. It couldn't have been that long - after all, he had left Nova alone inside - but at the same time, it already felt like an eternity since he had kissed Dean on the lips and told him goodbye.

Cas sighed, unfolding the arms he had held tightly to his chest, before turning and walking back inside the house. He never felt comfortable leaving his daughter for any prolonged period of time. There was always this odd sensation - a tugging, almost, like the last strings that held his Grace to her were being pulled too tight. Cas couldn't help wonder if every parent felt the same when they were separated from their offspring, or if it was due to how Nova was made. He guessed in the end, it didn't really matter. He did not begrudge the connection he had with her, and seeming the sensation was cured by simply keeping her close to him, it was hardly something that was too difficult to overcome.

Nova was awake, by the time Cas had reached her cot again. Blue eyes - so much like those he had borrowed from Jimmy - stared up at him, a toothless grin that was far more like her other father's alighting her face with recognition. Cas smiled in encouragement, chuckling when Nova squealed in response, as he bent down to take his child into his arms.

It was a strange thing to acknowledge, but really, Nova had three parents. Cas, Dean, and Jimmy. It was impossible to ignore that Nova had inherited a number of physical traits from his vessel, but try as he might, Cas had yet to notice any personality quirks she had inherited from her unplanned parent. Dean, he saw mountains of - in the way she smiled, in the way she loved to be held, in her apparent interest in poor food choices. He also saw elements of himself, in the way she held her focus on something, unblinking, or the way she stared at Dean like he was her sun and stars. It could have been because Dean and Cas had provided the basis for her spirit, whereas Jimmy's consciousness had long-since left by the time she borrowed his DNA for her creation. In a way, Cas was glad. He didn't really want to share Nova's parentage with Jimmy - although that thought made him feel guilty and selfish. He shouldn't begrudge Jimmy further genetic lineage, but he wanted Nova to belong to just him and Dean.

"Hello, Nova," Cas said, smiling as a small, chubby hand smacked him on the nose. "Are you hungry, yet?"

Cas made his way into the kitchen, depositing Nova in her recently acquired feeding chair that sat on the kitchen floor (neither Dean nor Cas had felt comfortable having it placed any higher, despite manufacturer's recommendations). She squealed again, kicking her feet so she could enjoy the bounce it gave her. Cas kept glancing back at her, as he made his way over to the fridge to get out the mashed pumpkin they had tried her on last night. He held the bowl in his hand, focusing slightly to raise the pumpkin to the right temperature as he came to sit on the floor in front of her, spoon in hand. Sure, he could have microwaved the pumpkin to have the same result, but Cas liked the specificity heating food with his Grace gave him. Still, he dipped his finger in it to make sure it was the appropriate temperature, using his memory of Dean's body heat as a guide.

"Okay, Nova. Would you like some pumpkin?" Cas asked, carefully scraping a small amount of the orange mush onto her baby spoon.

Cas knew Nova couldn't reply, and didn't really expect a response, but Dean seemed to think it was important to talk to her like she could understand. And, if the way she kicked her feet and squealed in response were anything to go by, maybe there was already a certain degree of understanding there.

"Open wide," Cas instructed, moving the spoon towards Nova's mouth. He chuckled as she gummed against the spoon, still unsure as to what to actually do with it while it was in her mouth. A chubby hand grabbed at the handle, trying to shove it further into her mouth. Cas just gently pried it back from her, looking at his pumpkin-covered offspring.

"I don't think this is very successful," Cas informed her, using his ever-present face washer to wipe down her face. "Pumpkin has no nutritional content, if you just rub it on your face. Shall we try again?"

A couple more attempts later, and Cas gave up on the spoon. Instead, he found himself dunking his finger in pumpkin, allowing Nova to shove it in her mouth and suck the pumpkin off. He couldn't help but smile as Nova tightened the grip on his finger, when he tried to remove it from her mouth.

"Nova, mommy needs his finger now," Cas said, free to use his preferred nomenclature given Dean's current absence. 

He pried his finger from Nova's grasp, earning an annoyed squeal from her, as he stood and headed towards the sink. The mess that had covered his hands and sleeves disappeared by the time he reached for her bottle - it turned out, having Grace proved very useful when you had an offspring whose greatest talent was creating a mess - and set about making a bottle of formula for her.

Nova had started to cry as soon as Cas had left her side - not an uncommon occurrence, especially not when she was hungry and tired. Cas could feel the pressure build in the air with her distress, and he hurried to complete his task so he could calm her down. 

"Nova, it's okay," Cas insisted, shaking the bottle as he mixed formula with water. "Mommy's coming. He's just getting you a bottle."

"Well, that might prove useful. I'm getting sick of the crying."

Cas spun around to face his unexpected guest, terror in his eyes. Because there, holding Nova, stood Lucifer. His vessel looked worse for wear - skin sallow and grey, pock-marked where it's flesh had started to degrade. The skin wrinkled where is sagged, having detached from the tissue underneath. It was obvious that the vessel had never been made to carry Lucifer for so long, and could not have had that much time left. Seeing his daughter held in those terrifying arms made his stomach twist in a way it hadn't since that one occasion where he had vomited, all those months ago.

"Lucifer."

Cas tried to keep his voice even, keep his face impassive, but it was hard when the embodiment of all that is evil is holding your child. It is even worse that Nova continued to scream. Every fibre in his being screamed out to rescue his daughter from the devil's grasp, but Cas knew he couldn't rush things. One wrong move could lead to disastrous outcomes.

By the way the corner of Lucifer's mouth twisted, Cas knew that he was aware of his inner struggle.

"Castiel," Lucifer said, bouncing Nova slightly on his hip in an attempt to settle her (though where he learned that from, Cas would never know). "Long time, no see. Why didn't you tell me I was an uncle? I would have sent a present."

"You are not her uncle. You are not my brother," Cas snapped.

"Oh, that hurts," Lucifer said, raising his free hand to rest on his heart. "I know I may not have been the _best_ big brother ever, but I am still your blood. Or Grace, or whatever the angelic equivalent is." He shook his head. "Daddy really didn't give us the proper lexicon to describe our relationship, now did he? But regardless, I am your brother. So it would seem, that I am an uncle."

Lucifer tilted his head to the side, as he regarded Nova.

"Interesting little thing, isn't she?" he said, with a degree of clinical detachment. "She's hardly your normal nephilim, now is she? Her Grace is too pure, and as for her soul... My, do my eyes deceive me, or is that the soul of the Righteous Man?"

Lucifer quirked his eyebrow, looking up at Cas.

"Castiel - I am impressed! Gabriel was not joking, huh? And here I was thinking that entire song and dance was an absolute farce to put me off this little one's trail," he said.

Cas' stomach twisted.

"You knew."

"Of course I knew," Lucifer said, starting to pace the kitchen. "Honestly, Gabriel did not throw half enough of a temper tantrum to cover up her aura. Oh, but I must say, I was impressed when I felt it. I haven't felt energy that intense since that last time Michael and I rumbled."

"Give her back," Cas grumbled, fear fraying his patience.

"Give her back?" Lucifer repeated. "Oh, my dear brother, I am not going to give your child back. Don't you see what a gift this child is for me?"

"She's just a baby," Cas begged, knowing it would do no good before he even tried.

"Just a baby?" Lucifer asked. "No. She's a _weapon_. All the power of Heaven channelled through the catalyst that is a human soul. She will have power no nephilim before her has ever approached. How could I give that up?"

"Give her back to me, or I will make you," Cas threatened.

Lucifer laughed.

"Oh, baby brother, I would _love_ to see you try."

The air began to hum as Cas began to pull his Grace back into himself, from the multidimensional wavelength spread out around him. Trying to contain the energy of all that was Cas inside his vessel, created a glow that cast shadows on the wall of his wings that were not visible in this plane of existence. The skin of Cas' vessel felt too tight, like he was an overfilled balloon that was waiting to pop. Or a bottle of soft drink that had been shaken too much. He felt like he was going to explode.

Lucifer, however, was not threatened in the slightest by Cas' display. He just sighed, before calmly placing Nova back in her feeding chair, rolling his shoulders before clapping his hands.

"Alright, big boy. Come and get me."

Cas gave a feral yell, as he threw himself at his brother, angel blade in hand. It was almost embarrassing how easily Lucifer deflected him, throwing Cas into the wall with a resounding thud. Cas barely had enough time to pull himself from the floor, before Lucifer was on him, fists impacting Cas' vessel over and over. Cas continued to try to fight, attempting to duck and weave and strike at his brother with his blade, but Lucifer was too much in all the areas that counted. He was too powerful, he was too fast, he was too cunning, and soon Cas was a crumpled, bleeding mess on the ground.

"Enough, Castiel," Lucifer said, standing over Cas. "I do not want to kill my own brother."

Cas spat blood on to the floor.

"If you want to take Nova, then you will have to kill me," he said, dragging himself up on to his elbow.

"No, I don't."

Lucifer's foot impacted Cas' face, knocking him onto his back once again. Cas struggled to make his vessel sit up again, but it had taken so much damage, it was hard for him to move. Cas was forced to watch in horror, as Lucifer walked over to Nova and collected her in his arms, and disappeared.

"Nova!" Cas shouted, arm reaching out to where until a second ago, his child had been. The panic overwhelmed him.

"Gabriel!" Cas shouted. "Gabriel! Help!"

Gabriel appeared as soon as he was called, naked except for a sheet wrapped hastily around his waste.

"...Cas?" he asked, throwing himself down to the ground, beside his badly beaten brother. "What the Hell happened?"

"He's got her," Cas babbled. "Gabriel, he has Nova."

"Who? Who has Nova?" Gabriel demanded, grabbing Cas by the arm to try to get him to focus.

"Lucifer."

Gabriel paled, pulling away to rest on his knees.

"Oh, Cas. I'm so sorry."

"We've got to save her," Cas insisted, trying to pull himself upright, but failing. "Gabriel, we have to go after them."

"And what? Get ourselves killed?" Gabriel insisted. "Besides, we have no idea where they went."

"I can't leave her with him!" Cas snapped. "She's my daughter, Gabriel! And he's... he's..."

"The devil. I know," Gabriel replied.

"We've got to go. We've got to go _now_..."

Cas suddenly went silent, as Gabriel reached out to touch his shoulder, his eyes rolling back in his head as he fell into an unnatural sleep. He stood up, careful to keep his sheet in place, and looked at the carnage of the room that surrounded him, before shutting his eyes, and beginning to pray.

_Father. I know it's been a long time since we last talked - and trust me, I am still pissed with you. But please, watch over Nova. Keep her safe until we can save her from Lucifer. You know I never ask you for anything, but I'm asking for this. Please, Father. For once in your existence, can you hear my prayer?_


	60. Chapter 60

"Gabriel, where the Hell is my daughter?"

Gabriel sighed, taking a step towards Dean, his arm outstretched.

"Dean, you better sit down..."

"Like Hell I'm sitting down," Dean snapped, pulling himself to his feet. "Not until you tell me what the Hell happened to Cas, and where Nova is."

By now, the others had joined Dean inside, arrested at the portal to the lounge. Jo looked like she might say something, but she was silenced by her mother's hand on her shoulder. The grim line of Bobby's mouth told the archangel that he had caught on to the situation far faster than Dean was allowing himself to.

"She's gone, Dean," Gabriel said carefully, continuing his slow progress towards the frightened Hunter. "Nova was taken."

Dean paled.

"Taken? By who?" he demanded. He pressed his lips together so tightly they went white.

"By Lucifer."

Gabriel heard a gasp, but he wasn't sure by whom. His eyes were too fixed on Dean, waiting to see what the Hunter's response was. He watched as Dean staggered back a step, paling.

"How?" Dean demanded. 

"I don't know," Gabriel replied, honestly.

"How did he know how to find my daughter?"

" _I don't know,_ " Gabriel repeated. "It was over before I got here."

By now Dean was panting, his face flushed and chest heaving like he had just run a mile. He ran a hand through his hair, his mouth moving but forming no words as he turned back towards Cas.

"Wake Cas up," Dean demanded, his voice flat.

"Dean... I don't think..."

" _Gabriel! Give him back to me!_ "

Gabriel snapped his fingers - more out of show than necessity - and Cas' eyes fluttered open.

There was no stupor of residual sleep, as Cas looked around, his eyes fluttering here and there with panic before the fell on Dean.

"...Dean..."

Dean collapsed to his knees with an audible thud that was not loud enough to mask the near-sob that broke from him as he wrapped his arms around Cas' neck and pulled him to himself.

"Dean," Cas moaned, trying to pull away. "Dean - I'm so sorry. Lucifer... he knew. He knew about Nova, and I was too weak to stop him..."

"Shh..." Dean comforted, placing a hand on the back of his angel's head, trying to pull it back to his shoulder. 

"Dean... He has our daughter," Cas sobbed, shoulders heaving. "It's all my fault."

"It's not your fault," Dean said, pushing Cas back to meet his sodden blue eyes. " _It is not your fault_. You did your best. You faced down the Goddamn Devil, Cas. Alone, and unprepared."

"But I should have been..."

"Cas!" Dean snapped. "Had it been me, I would have done worse."

"But Nova is gone," he said, sobbing. "She's gone..."

" _And we will get her back_ ," Dean insisted. "I swear, Cas. With every breath left in my body - we will get our daughter back. I don't care if he's the Devil or the Goddamned tooth fairy - no creature on Hell or Earth is going to keep Nova away from us. And Lucifer is going to be damned sorry he ever decided to tango with us. You hear me?"

Cas nodded, unable to form words through his tears. Dean pulled him back to his chest, rocking his sobbing angel back and forth.

It was a hard scene for Gabriel to witness, watching his brother cry like that. He didn't even know if his brother had ever cried before - it was hardly a trait that angels were known for, and prior to meeting Dean Winchester, Castiel was as staunchly angel as the rest of them. But it seemed that having his offspring abducted had hurt his brother in a way that broke him on some deep level. Even from this distance, Gabriel could hear Cas whisper, "I can still feel her. Here," clutching at his chest, over and over, while Dean replied with, "I know. It will be okay," like it was some sort of call and response.

Eventually Cas went silent, blue eyes hollow as Dean continued to rock him back and forth. Dean looked around the room, suddenly aware there was someone else there apart from him and his angel, until his eyes fell on Gabriel.

"Where were you?" Dean growled, as silently as he could, unwilling to disturb his angel.

"Dean, I didn't know," Gabriel said. "How was I meant to know this was going to happen..."

"I'm not talking about here," Dean said, unable to name it any further, given the shudder that ran through Castiel. "I'm talking about with Pestilence. Where were you?"

"...I..."

"He was engaging in intercourse with your brother," Cas said flatly, not moving from his position against Dean's chest.

"...What?!"

"Look, Dean..." Gabriel said, holding his hands out placatingly. 

"...You and Sam are sleeping together?" Dean demanded, finally letting go of Cas to stand up and face down the archangel. "What the Hell?"

"It's not what you think..."

" _It's my baby brother!_ " Dean snapped. "And you think it's more important to bang him than it is to do your part in _saving the world_?"

"It wasn't like that!" Gabriel insisted.

"Oh, so do tell me what it was like, then," Dean said sarcastically. "No - wait. Don't. Never tell me what it's like. Ever."

Dean sighed, rubbing a hand across his face.

"Where is Sam?" Dean asked eventually, his voice oddly calm. It was weird, Gabriel had expected him to yell at him more, or try to attack him with an angel blade or something.

"Paris," Gabriel supplied. "Now, look. Dean..."

"Stop," he said, holding a hand up towards Gabriel. "Look, I'm just going to say this once. You're going to bring my brother back here, _now_ , but beyond that, you're dead to me. I always knew you were a screw up, but I never knew you would be literally screwing things up by focusing on things as unimportant as getting your rocks off when we actually have a job to do. I know you don't know this, but we nearly died today. Pestilence damn near got us with his mojo, and it never would have happened if you and Sam were just where you were meant to be. And maybe if you weren't so distracted, maybe you would have noticed that Lucifer was paying a house call and we might have been able to do something to prevent him from taking Nova. Maybe not. But what I do know is you're a liability. If you can't keep your head in the game, we don't need you. In fact, it would be better off it you were gone, cause at least you won't distract anyone else that way."

"...Dean. You don't mean that," Gabriel stuttered.

Dean just folded his arms across his chest.

"...Castiel?" he asked, looking to his brother for support.

Cas just stared meekly at the floor, too broken to even meet his brother's gaze. Gabriel looked around the room - at Bobby and Ellen and Jo, all of whom had been doing their damnedest to pretend they weren't there up til that point. There was not a single sympathetic face in the room.

"Fine," Gabriel snapped, pulling himself up defensively. "Have it your way."

He made a show of snapping his fingers, depositing Sam in the place he once stood, as he flew away to places unknown.

"...Dean?" Sam asked, spinning in a slow circle as he tried to get his bearings. He frowned, as he took in everyone's sombre expressions. "What happened? Where's Nova?"

And with that, the room was filled with the sound of Castiel sobbing, once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter sixty! OMG, seriously? When am I going to hurry up and finish this fic?
> 
> And I'm sorry about all the feels. I'm building up to the big climax. Besides, it wouldn't be Supernatural without a whole boat-load of angst, now would it?
> 
> Keep the comments coming! I love hearing you guys thoughts.


	61. Chapter 61

Sam would be lying if he said he never imagined in his head what it would be like to have his "special relationship" with Gabriel found out. But in all the ways he imagined it happening, it turned out that the reality was that much worse.

Nova was gone - abducted by Lucifer and taken to places unknown, to become part of his plan to take over heaven and earth. And Sam... Sam had been screwing Gabriel when it happened. When his niece needed him the most, he had been busy getting his rocks off. And didn't that just make him feel like shit.

Dean wouldn't even look at him. When Sam had been abruptly returned, and pointed out the missing member of his family, Dean had just bundled his angel up in his arms and left. Not a word, not even a glance in Sam's direction. It had been left up to Bobby to explain that Nova had been taken, and that Dean knew that he had been doing the nasty with an archangel when it had happened.

Sam's first response had been to go and comfort his brother, but all he got out of Dean was a blunt, "Don't." 

The look in Dean's eyes when he briefly looked at Sam told him everything that word encapsulated - _I am going through way too much shit right now to deal with this. Please don't make me acknowledge that you betrayed me._

Sam hadn't known what to do, so he took a leaf out of Dean's book, and just left. He walked out of the house and into the salvage yard beyond, rubbing his eyes fiercely against the burn of the tears that were threatening him. Sam surprised himself, when he grabbed a discarded gear stick, and used it to smash the windscreen of the nearest car with a yell.

"Easy there, Sammy. What did that car ever do to you?"

"Gabriel?"

Sam spun around, and found the archangel by a nearby stack of cars. He was leaning against it, arms folded across his chest in an obvious attempt at nonchalance, but the way the tension radiated from his vessel completely destroyed that illusion. Sam just shook his head, his long legs carrying him across the salvage yard quickly, as he threw his arms around the archangel tightly, chest heaving as he buried his face into his shoulder. Sam was surprised that instead of teasing him about it, all the angel did was place a hand on the back of his head, and rock him gently back and forth.

"Hey, kiddo. It's okay," Gabriel muttered, once Sam's tears started to subside.

"How, Gabe? How is any of this okay?" Sam said, pulling away. "Nova's gone."

"Don't," Gabriel said.

"Don't, what?" Sam asked.

"Don't think that this is my fault, too," Gabriel said. "Damn it, we weren't even gone an hour."

Sam looked at the angel, at the unshed tears that caused his eyes to sparkle with something other than the mischief they normally did, and felt his stomach twist. He wasn't the only one here suffering.

"I know," Sam comforted, reaching out a hand to rub Gabriel's arm in an attempt at comfort. "I was there, remember?"

Sam remembered the moment clearly. One moment he was balls-deep in an angel, dangerously close to coming, the next he was falling forward, nearly braining himself on the wooden bed head. After he got over the initial shock of it, the first explanation that came to his mind was that Gabriel was playing a trick on him. He'd called, "Oh, ha ha. Very funny. We've had a good laugh. You can come back now," to the empty room, and had fully expected that the arch angel would reappear, and have a laugh at his expense. But as the minutes had ticked by, and it became more and more obvious that Gabriel wasn't coming back, he became worried. Worried something had happened to his angel - not to his brother, or his other family, but Gabriel.

For twelve hours, he had walked around the apartment where Gabriel had sequestered them, pleading to the air for Gabriel to come back, for him to tell him he was okay. When he finally had been transported back to Bobby's house, Sam had searched desperately for Gabriel - whether to punch him or kiss him, he couldn't say - only to find Dean, Cas and the others there instead.

"I'm not omniscient, you know," Gabriel said, running a hand through his hair in frustration, as be began to pace back and forth. "In spite of what your brother might think. I don't know what's happening everywhere at any given time. How was I supposed to know that Lucifer was making a house call? _No one called me_ "

Sam grimaced, his chest aching in an unfamiliar way, as he watched the angel. A not-so-small part of him wanted to reach out and comfort Gabriel, to hold him close like he had for him before, but Sam knew he shouldn't. The lines in their relationship had been drawn some time ago, and they definitely weren't in the type of relationship where they talked about their feelings.

"Genius military strategy from your brother, by the way. _Oh, my brother and the super-powered archangel for some reason hasn't turned up, even though they know we're meant to be confronting perilous danger. You know what, instead of waiting for them,_ or, I don't know, _trying to find out where they are, how about I go swanning in and fight a Horseman anyway_ ," Gabriel said, imitating Dean. "Just as well your brother has as much trouble staying dead as he does, because otherwise, hoo-boy."

"Yeah, well that's Dean for you. He never thinks. He just does," Sam said in way of explanation, rubbing his own arm as a surrogate for Gabriel's own. "Just give him time. I'm sure he's not even angry with you. He's just trying to redirect the anger he's feeling at himself, and you're an easy target."

"Well, maybe I'm sick of being an easy target," Gabriel said, folding his arms across his chest. 

"...And what's that meant to mean?" Sam asked.

"It means I'm sick of how I get treated in this family," Gabriel said. "How I'm only ever wanted when I'm useful to you. Hell, even you, Sam. All you ever do is fuck me and forget me, like I'm some dirty little secret."

"I do not!" Sam insisted, affronted.

"Oh, yeah. So how many times - before right now - have you ever sought me out just because you want to talk?" Gabriel challenged. "No, it's always _Gabe, come ride my cock like a cowboy_ and after you blow, it's just a quick wipe down and then I'm shown the door. Oh, wait - I'm not allowed to use the door, cause _somebody might see_."

"Well, it's not like you ever complained about it!" Sam snapped. "And I don't see you being all romantic and doing the whole pillow talk thing!"

"Did you ever ask?" Gabriel asked. "Did you ever _think_ that maybe I want something more than a little wham, bam, thank you, m'am? No! Cause I don't think you even really see me as anything beyond a tool - be it saving your ass or you riding mine."

"Seriously? That's how you think it is?" Sam asked.

"Isn't it?" Gabriel asked.

Sam sighed.

"I don't know!" Sam rubbed his face with a hand. "Shit, Gabe. I can't do this right now. You have really shit timing."

Gabriel raised an eyebrow.

"Let's face it, Sam. It's not about the timing," Gabriel said. "You just can't bring yourself to say what we both know."

Gabriel turned then, and took a few steps.

"Wait - where are you going?" Sam asked, clamouring after him.

When Gabriel turned to face Sam, there was done of the warmth in his golden eyes that he was used to seeing.

"I'm done," he said, shaking his head.

"What do you mean, you're done?" Sam demanded.

"It means I'm going," Gabriel explained.

"What? You can't," Sam insisted. "What about Nova?"

"What about Nova?" Gabriel said. "Lucifer's hidden her, and I can't find her. What point is it me hanging around here, just so you can all whine about how useless I am?"

"Fine!" Sam snapped, folding his arms across his chest. "You know what? Go. If you're going to be a whiny little bitch, then I don't want you here. We'll find Nova without your help."

"Fine," Gabriel said, giving a sad shake of his head, before he disappeared.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If Gabriel weren't an archangel, he may have found it difficult to see, when he appeared in St Mary's Convent. The sun had long since set, and given the abandoned state of the building, there wasn't even a single flickering light to help illuminate the room. Gabriel ran a frustrated hand over his face, as he started to walk around the large scorch mark in the centre of the floor. When he had done a full loop, he stopped, sighing as he lifted his face towards the ceiling as he collected himself.

"Okay, Lucie. I know you know I'm here by now, so how about you come show yourself," Gabriel announced to the thin air.

Gabriel took an unnecessary breath in, as a wave of power barrelled in to him. 

"Gabriel," Lucifer said, warmly, as he leaned casually against the alter. "As nice as it is to see you again, Brother, I am wondering just exactly why I have the pleasure?"

Gabriel sighed.

"Cause I've had it. I'm done," Gabriel said. "I'm sick of playing human. All they ever do is use you. They never see me for who I am. Let's face it, the only one who ever has, is you."

Gabriel looked up to meet his brother's gaze, and held it.

"So, what? You called me out here, so you can cry on my shoulder and I can comfort you about how horrible the bad humans have treated you?" Lucifer said sarcastically. "Brother, you know I don't do that."

"Good, cause I don't want that."

Lucifer cocked an eyebrow.

"So what do you want?" Lucifer asked.

"I want to join you," Gabriel said.

"Really?" he scoffed.

"Really," Gabriel repeated. "I've spent so much of my existence trying not to pick a side, and all it's ever done is come kick me in the ass. And whilst I don't agree with your plan _in the slightest_ , you are my brother and I love you. If the world's going to end, I'm gonna stand by the only person who's ever stood by me."

"And you're sure about this?" Lucifer asked, taking a step towards his brother. "Because, you know. Once you do this, there is no going back."

Gabriel nodded. A smile broke out across Lucifer's face, and he crossed the remaining space between them, to wrap his arms around Gabriel's neck.

"Then welcome home, little brother."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow... Melodramatic much?
> 
> Seriously, keep it coming with the comments. I love to hear your thoughts!


	62. Chapter 62

They don't do anything that first night. They just lie in bed, Dean's arms wrapped around Cas, as he stares numbly at the wall. It's gotten past the point where Cas could even cry anymore. He just felt empty, like his emotions had been ripped out along with his heart, when Lucifer had taken Nova away. So he just lay there, feeling the rhythmic puffs of Dean's breath against his neck, as he slept behind him.

Dean had tried to stay awake - he really had. Dean appreciated that being an angel, Cas couldn't sleep, so he did his damnedest to make sure his partner did not have to suffer alone. Dean had made it to about four am when he failed in his attempt, and had lapsed into unconsciousness. Cas tried to not begrudge him his rest, but under the numbness, there was a tinge of envy, that even if it was only for a few hours, Dean was able to escape from this nightmare, while he was not.

Cas scrunched his eyes tightly shut for a moment. It turned out, he was capable of crying some more, after all.

Cas opened his eyes, and noticed the first blush of dawn starting to creep into the room. Castiel gently peeled Dean's arm from his waist and got out of bed, intending to go and watch the sunrise. However, he gets distracted by the partition in their room, and find himself sneaking around the battered old Chinese screen, to where Nova's empty crib sits. It's there Dean finds Cas when he wakes the following morning, standing grasping the edge of the empty cot, with a white-knuckled hand.

"Hey, Cas," Dean said, wrapping his arms around Cas' waist and resting his head on his shoulder.

"Hello, Dean," he replied.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep," Dean said, rubbing his nose gently into Cas' shirt.

"It's fine," Cas insisted. "I can hardly hold you responsible for responding a physiological need. It would be just as nonsensical to blame you for needing to evacuate your bladder."

There was a huff of air against Cas' neck, as Dean chuckled.

"Yeah... About that," he teased, releasing Cas and taking a step back.

Cas feels a gentle hand on his shoulder, encouraging him to turn around. When he does so, Dean rests his other hand on his opposite shoulder, and looks Cas in the eyes.

"We are going to get her back, Cas," he insisted.

Cas felt his stomach twist.

"How?" he asked.

"We'll figure that out," Dean said. "Today - I swear. We'll have a little war meeting, and we'll work out how to get Nova back."

Cas felt the corner of his mouth pull tight, but remained silent. He did not want to get into an argument with Dean about how that was an unlikely prospect.

"But first," Dean continued, "I have to go attend to a few more physiological needs. Meet me down in the kitchen?"

Cas nodded stiffly.

"Of course, Dean."

Dean leaned in, and kissed Cas lightly on the cheek.

"I promise you, I'm going to get our daughter back," he insisted one last time, before leaving the room.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As promised, Dean found Cas sitting in the kitchen when he returned from his sojourn to the bathroom. He's not alone. Sam, Bobby and Jo all sit at the table, whilst Ellen stands by the stove, cooking breakfast.

"Ellen, you beautiful woman. That smells amazing," Dean says, as he enters the room.

Dean kisses Cas on the cheek again, as he takes his seat beside the angel. Cas can't help but notice how tactile Dean has been, since Nova's abduction. He knows the action is intended as a method of comfort, and to some degree it is, but Cas just can't find it within himself to reciprocate at the moment. He still just feels so numb.

"Yeah... well... don't come to expect it," Ellen said, coming over to scrape some bacon and scrambled eggs on to his plate. "I'm not going to cook you boys breakfast everyday. Just because I used to run the Roadhouse, doesn't mean I enjoy cooking."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Dean said, shovelling scrambled eggs into his mouth and groaning.

Dean waited until Ellen had returned to the table with her own plate of breakfast, before continuing.

"Right. So any ideas about how we go about tracking down Lucifer, so we can get Nova back?"

"I have some books I can check, that has some scrying in it," Bobby said. "Don't know how useful it would be in tracking an archangel, but it's worth a shot."

"It's not so much an issue finding Lucifer. It's more what we'll do when we find him," Cas said, staring solemnly at the table.

"We go kick his ass, of course," Dean said, nudging Cas with his elbow.

"That would be unlikely," Cas said. "Lucifer is an archangel. His Grace is many magnitudes of power more than my own. We would hardly be more than an annoyance in any type of showdown."

Cas frowned, remembering exactly how ineffective he had been when last confronted by his brother.

"Just because he's got more firepower, doesn't mean that he'll win," Dean insisted.

"No," Cas conceded. "It just makes if far more likely that he would. Besides, Lucifer used to lead the armies of Heaven. He is a great strategist. It is greatly unlikely that we would beat him in a battle of wits, either."

"So what are you saying, Cas?" Dean asked, slightly irritatedly. "We just have to leave Nova with that ass-clown?"

"No," Cas replied, lifting his eyes to look at Dean. "But we do have to have a better plan than just running in there half-cocked and getting ourselves killed. I can't fail our daughter again."

Dean reached out to place a hand on Cas' forearm, rubbing it back and forth gently.

"So we've agreed that we have no chance of defeating Lucifer in a showdown," Sam said. "How about we don't try to kill him? We trap him instead. We already have three of the Horseman's rings. We only need one more before we can lock him back in the Cage."

"It's all very well and good knowing how to open the Cage, but how are we going to get Lucifer in it?" Ellen asked.

"Actually, I have a thought about that, too," Sam said, rubbing his neck nervously.

"Well, come on, Sammy. Spit it out," Dean said, when his brother remained silent.

Sam sighed.

"Do you remember back when Bobby was possessed by Meg, and she tried to get him to kill you?" Sam asked.

"Yeah," Dean said. "He didn't, and ended up taking a gut shot himself. Ended up in a wheelchair."

"Thanks for reminding me," Bobby grumbled.

"But you're missing the point. Bobby was able to take back control," Sam said. "If I said Yes to Lucifer, I'm sure I could regain control long enough to get Lucifer back in the Cage."

"Are you out of your mind?" Dean snapped. "If you did that, you'd be stuck in the Cage with him, you idiot."

"I know that!" Sam insisted. "But wouldn't it be worth it, to get rid of Lucifer?"

"No."

"Dean..."

"I said no, Sam!" Dean said. "I won't allow it."

"It's not your decision!" Sam snapped.

"Like Hell, it's not!" Dean yelled. "You're my family. I've been looking after you since you were six months old. I'm not losing you, too. So, no. I'm not letting you kamikaze into Hell, while taking Lucifer for a ride."

"Dean," Bobby warned. "I know you don't want to hear it, but it's not actually a bad idea."

"Shut it," Dean said, pointing his finger at Bobby. "You don't get a say in this, Bobby. You're not family."

"But I am," Cas said, looking up at Dean solemnly. "Don't I get a say in this?"

Dean stared at Cas for a moment, betrayal in his eyes.

"You'd let Sammy sacrifice himself for this? For a plan that you don't even know would work?" Dean asked.

"Of course I don't want any harm to come to Sam, Dean," Cas insisted. "But Sam is as much Nova's family as we are. It should be up to him what sacrifices he's willing to make on her behalf."

Dean's chair scraped audibly as he pushed himself back from the table and stood. He rubbed a frustrated hand over his face, before turning and leaving the room. Cas followed him immediately.

"...Dean," he said, reaching out to grab Dean's arm. "Dean... talk to me."

"Why?" Dean snapped, turning on Cas. "It's not like you care about what I have to say, anyway."

"You know that's not true," Cas said.

"You said that Sam should be allowed to say Yes to Lucifer!" Dean said, eyes flaring. "For a plan that we have no idea would even work or not."

"But it might work," Cas said. "And we might get Nova back."

"Might. But we'd definitely lose Sam," Dean said. "If this doesn't go to plan, then we've just given the Devil his true vessel, and doomed the world. Even if it does all goes to plan, Sam is still throwing himself in the Pit, and he's gone forever."

Dean rubbed a hand across his face again, and looked at Cas with plaintive green eyes.

"Don't you understand, Cas? He's my baby brother. He's more than that," Dean said, trying to explain. "I have been responsible for him since I was four years old. I am meant to protect him - just as much as I'm meant to protect Nova. I can't sacrifice one to save the other. It's not fair."

"Dean, no one is asking you to sacrifice Sam," Cas said, rubbing Dean's arm. "And believe me - if there was any other choice, I would take it in an instant. But Sam is the one who has made this decision. You can't take that away from him, just to save your feelings."

"I just want to keep him safe," Dean said, shaking his head. "I just want to keep you all safe."

Cas placed a hand on Dean's cheek, as Dean leaned in to rest his forehead against Cas'.

"I know," he said. "And you do."

Dean snorted.

"Tell that to Nova," Dean said.

"You haven't failed Nova," Cas insisted. "Not yet. We will get her back."

"Yeah, we will," Dean said, pressing his lips to Cas' swiftly before pulling away.

"Dean... Where are you going?" Cas asked.

"To see my brother," Dean said. "I think I owe him an apology."

Cas smiled and made to follow Dean, only to have a hand arrest him.

"I think I gotta do this one on my own, okay, Cas?" Dean said.

Cas nodded.

"Okay, Dean. I'll meet you in our room," Cas said.

Dean smiled at him for a moment.

"You know I love you, right, Cas?" Dean asked.

Cas frowned.

"Of course, Dean. I love you, too," Cas said.

Dean looked like he was going to say something else, but just turned and left the room, each step he took away from Cas just increasing the desperate ache in his chest. He kept walking, past the study where Bobby, the Harvells and Sam were talking, and out of the house. He stopped briefly at the Impala, retrieving a small sack from her boot, before making his way across the scrap yard to where Bobby kept the cars that actually worked. 

It was the work of a couple seconds to hot wire a car, and drive it out of the yard. Tears burned his eyes, making his vision blur. He swiped at the tears, hoping to clear his vision. He refused to look in the rear view mirror, at everything he was leaving behind.

Because while Dean had acknowledged that Sam had the right to make his own decisions, Dean had the right to make sure he didn't need to. 

Sam wasn't the only one who could sacrifice himself to defeat the Devil. Dean had been willing to do it before, when it was just Cas' life on the line. Now that it was his brother and his daughter, you knew damn well that he was just as willing. He just hoped that Michael was desperate enough to accept the conditions that came with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is a bit bits-and-piece-y, but hopefully I've covered some ground to get things moving finally.
> 
> It's amazing - I've been reading over this fic to try to get the tone of it back on track, and I can't believe how it's evolved over time. It was just meant to be a fun, fast, humorous fic, and be done in 25k. It's now, what... 80k? and full of angst. So not my intention when I started, but hopefully it's better for it. And hopefully you've all enjoyed it so far!
> 
> Please let me know what you think! Knowing there's people out there enjoying this fic encourages me to keep writing it, even if I am getting all bogged down in the feels.


	63. Chapter 63

Dean sighed, as he finished the final touches on the warding circle he was drawing. He took a step back to admire his handiwork, glancing at the crumpled sheet of paper in his hand, that he'd been using as his reference. His stomach clenched tightly, as he looked at Cas' neat script again. There were no accents or flourishes to his handwriting, just the straight lines and crisp angles that spoke of duty rather than art - Cas to a tee. He glanced between the paper and the ward he'd drawn. Yeah, some of his lines were a little off, the spray paint he'd used to draw it smudged in some areas, but he hoped it'd be good enough. He'd hate it if he had come all this way and given up so much, only to have his eyes burnt out because he'd gotten a few of the lines wrong.

Dean just sighed again, rubbing a hand over his face. There was no point worrying about it. He had to get this show on the road. After all, Cas was going to notice he was gone at some point, and even with the runes on his ribs, Dean didn't doubt Cas' ability to find him.

Dean sliced his hand, grimacing only slightly as metal cut flesh, and began to chant.

" _Ol dooain adagita ila Michael, ta a coredazodizoda de baeouib od vaoan. Lap ol bolape zomdv napea ta ol bolape zombv noco od pugo ol_."

"Dean Winchester."

Dean spun around to find a man standing roughly six feet from where he was. He was young - maybe eighteen or nineteen - with ash blonde hair and ice blue eyes. Even though Dean had never seen him before, there was something familiar about his features. Probably because he was being worn by the archangel that destiny had linked with him.

"Michael," Dean said. "Wasn't expecting the meatsuit, what with me being your one-true-vessel, and all."

"Well, I did not have much of a choice," he said, walking over and brushing the edge of Dean's sigils with his foot. "Had I appeared before you as my true form, I would no doubt have incinerated you. Your calligraphy leaves something to be desired."

"Yeah... Well... I'm sorry, but I skipped Enochian at school," Dean said, watching the archangel pace around the circle. "But where did you find the meatsuit? I thought this whole mess we're in was because I'm the only vessel you can wear."

"You _are_ my true vessel," Michael confirmed, not bothering to face Dean as he spoke, "but there are others in your bloodline that can contain my form for brief periods."

"So, what... You decided to try on one of my long-lost cousins?" Dean asked.

"Your brother, actually," he said, lifting his eyes finally to meet Dean.

"Yeah, in case you haven't noticed, mate, that's not my brother. He's about a foot taller and would make a great stand-in on a Pantiene commercial," Dean teased.

Michael shook his head.

"Not Sam. This is your other brother - Adam."

"...I don't have..."

" _Half_ -brother," Michael interrupted, when Dean started to protest. "By-product of an affair your father had on a hunt. Makes no difference to me, given it's your father's blood that I require, but I know how you humans are sticklers for putting labels on relationships."

"So, what? You thought cause you needed to talk to me, that you'd just hijack my half-brother's body and fry his brain?" Dean asked, trying not to get bogged down by the knowledge that he had a half-brother he never knew about. "How did you think I would take that?"

"Poorly," Michael said flatly. "Which is why I have not fully taken control of this vessel. I have only instilled enough of my Grace to enable myself to be present enough to have this conversation with you."

"So basically, you're using him as a finger puppet," Dean said.

A brief smirk pulled at the corner of Michael's mouth, only to leave just as quickly.

"That would be an appropriate analogy," he concurred. "Now, as much as I am enjoying this conversation regarding my current attire, I was led to understand that there was something that you wished to talk about."

"Yeah. I came to discuss terms with you," Dean said, folding his arms across his chest defensively.

"...Terms?" Michael asked, raising a singular eyebrow. "What terms?"

"As in what you need to do for me to agree to be your meatsuit," Dean clarified.

"And is that something you would agree to?" Michael asked. "Zachariah had led me to believe that that prospect was as likely as our Father returning."

"For the right price," Dean replied, earning him an irritated glare from the archangel.

"I am an archangel, Dean Winchester," Michael said gravely. "I do not bargain."

"If you want this sweet ride, you will," Dean said, walking up to the archangel. "Your ass-hat of a brother has my daughter. I want you to rescue her, and return her to Cas."

Michael's brows furrowed.

"You have a daughter?" he asked, surprised. "And you want me to rescue her, and return her to Castiel, instead of her mother?"

"Cas is her mother," Dean explained, ignoring for once how much that term irked him. He figured if Cas wasn't bothered by it, his brother surely wouldn't be.

Michael gasped, eyes widening.

"Abomination," he whispered.

"Hey, that's my daughter you're talking about," Dean said, poking a finger at the archangel. "It's not her fault who her daddy's just happen to be. And if it weren't for your lackeys trying to kill Cas, we wouldn't have ended up with her in the first place, so don't you go judging."

"You are asking me to save an affront to Father's creation," Michael said.

"No, I'm asking you to save a child," Dean said. "And I want to ensure she and Cas remain safe. No going and smiting anyone as soon as you've fulfilled the bargain. Same goes for the rest of the God squad."

"And you are willing to give your life for this child?" Michael asked. "You do understand, that to confront my brother, I will need to instil the entirety of my grace within your form. There is no recovery after that. I am made from primordial creation, and I will burn everything that made you who you are - mind and soul alike - from your body. There will be no afterlife for you."

"Yeah, I got that," Dean said, folding his arms across his chest again. "I saw what was left of your brother, Raphael's vessel after he left him. I'm led to believe you'd be worse. So, what about it? You promise to save my daughter from the Devil and keep her and Cas safe, and I let you wear me to save the world."

Michael glared at Dean for a moment, as though considering his options, before nodding.

"I promise you that I will return your daughter from my brother's possession, and keep her and Castiel safe for as long as it's within my power," Michael said solemnly.

Dean nodded, his shoulders sagging slightly from relief.

"Then, yes."

As soon as he said the word, the energy started to build under his skin - like the pressure you feel in your ears when you go up in an airplane, but everywhere - and it just kept building. His ears themselves were ringing, in the same high-pitch squeal that he first heard in that fill-up joint, so many months ago. Brightness started to creep into the edges of his vision, and Dean knew it could not be much longer now. He shut his eyes tightly, and sent one final prayer out in to the ether.

_Cas, I love you. Goodbye._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah. In more judicious editing of canon, I decided to remove _Jump The Shark_ so I could introduce Adam here. At least this way, he and his mum weren't eaten by ghouls.
> 
> Once again, sorry about how long it's taken me to update this. Life is super busy at the moment. But feel free to leave a comment to badger me in to updating this more regularly.


	64. Chapter 64

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the dreaded chapter!
> 
> I have had the WORST writers block! Just... the worst. As soon as 12x23 happened, my brain just ground to a halt, and even stringing simple sentences together has become impossible.
> 
> So I am sorry for how long I've been gone for, and I'm sorry about how rubbish this chapter is, but I'm just trying to get past it and hope the block will wear off. I can't even tell you how many time I've started this chapter and been unable to finish over the past few months. Hopefully it'll get easier now, now that I've managed to get past this hump. We'll see. Cause, dammit, I _am_ going to finish this fic!

Dean Winchester is dead.

It had been over an hour now, and it was still hard for Castiel to believe, even though he had heard Dean's final invocation and had felt the last remnants of the Righteous Man's soul as they were burned from the scar in his Grace.

Dean Winchester is dead.

The pain of losing Dean was unbearable. Castiel's whole Grace ached with the loss; the knowledge that he would never see Dean again too much for him to bear. But worse than that was the anger accompanying it. Anger at his brother for his actions, anger at his Father, for his inaction, and anger at Dean, for leaving Castiel behind to suffer through this on his own. Right now, it didn't matter to Castiel that the world was surely about to end, because his whole world already had.

Dean Winchester is dead.

While the angel had shut down from the news of Dean's death, sadly, Sam didn't have that luxury. Michael taking his vessel had sped up the hands of the Doomsday clock, and they were rapidly approaching a minute to midnight. Sam knew if they didn't act now, it would be too late. So he was going to do what Dean always had, and put aside his feelings until he had time to do so. And in the meantime, he was going to save the world.

"So where are we on the whole plan to get the final Horseman's ring?" Sam asked, trying to redirect the conversation away from _We're all going to die._

"Don't you think that's just a bit moot now?" Bobby asked. "Michael's all dressed for the ball. The Apocalypse _is_ happening."

"Dean wouldn't want us to give up..."

"Dean already did give up," Jo pointed out. "He said Yes."

"He didn't say Yes just so we could all die," Sam insisted. "He did it cause he was desperate to save Nova. He'd expect us to try and come up with a Plan B and fix things before Michael breaks out the fire and brimstone."

"So what exactly is your plan, that can somehow subvert the Apocalypse before Michael finds Lucifer for the big showdown?" Bobby asked, raising an eyebrow as he folded his arms across his chest. "Cause we've been working on this problem for months now, and had no luck. I don't see that changing in the next few hours."

"Yeah, and we have a plan," Sam pointed out. "Let's finish collecting the Horseman's rings, and use it to lock Lucifer back in the Cage. All I have to do is say Yes, and keep control long enough to throw us into the Pit..."

"No!" Cas exclaimed, standing up from where he'd been hiding in the corner of Bobby's study, and walking over to confront Sam.

"And why not?" Sam demanded. "You thought it was a viable enough option a few hours ago."

"Because if you do that, you _will_ end the world," Cas said. 

"Sam, this plan of yours was always suicide - and we had accepted that. As tragic as your death would be, if we could save the world, then it was a worthwhile sacrifice. But Dean saying Yes to Michael changes things. When Michael took possession of Dean's vessel, he didn't just take control of Dean's body. He literally burned his soul from existence," Cas explained. "Just imagine, for a moment, what would happen when Lucifer possessed you. He is nearly as powerful as Michael. I would imagine that your soul would be equally as affected, thus making it impossible for you to attempt what you plan."

"Even if, by some miracle, your soul is not destroyed when Lucifer possesses you, the likelihood of you being able to exert any control over him whatsoever is extremely limited." Cas said.

"So what do you want us to do, Cas?" Sam demanded. "Sit around and do nothing?"

"That's exactly what I want you to do," Castiel said. "Michael is going to find Lucifer, and he is going to fight him. At least while he is in his true vessel, while Lucifer is not, the odds are in Michael's favour, and this battle may be over quickly. If you said Yes to Lucifer now, all you would be doing is evening the playing field and assuring Earth's destruction."

"I can't just do nothing, Cas," Sam insisted.

"Sometimes doing nothing is the hardest thing to do," Castiel said, looking up at Sam with sad eyes. "Please. Don't make Dean's death be in vain."

"I'm sorry, Cassie, but I don't think Sam here has much of a choice."

The group spun around, to see a familiar golden-haired form standing in the door frame.

"Hiya, guys," Gabriel said, a sad tinge to his voice. "I'm sorry, but I don't come bearing good news..."


	65. Chapter 65

Okay, Gabriel was going to say it. He hated Detroit.

Detroit! 

Honestly - what was his brother thinking, when he had decided on making _Detroit_ his base of operations? And not even the _nice_ end of Detroit (if there even was such a thing). No, he had them holed up in some dank building that had obviously been abandoned during one of their many recessions. Gabriel could only think it lucky that he was an archangel, or he would be genuinely concerned about getting some lung disease from the mould that was climbing up the drywall.

Gabriel kicked a piece of brick, that had obviously been thrown through the window at some point in the past. Honestly, what was the point of being an angel, if you didn't enjoy the perks that came with it? Gabriel could have made them a palace fit for a prince _like that_ , if Lucifer just allowed him. But, no. Lucifer _insisted_ that they had to remain on this plane of existence, and they _had_ to be in this building.

Honestly, maybe if Lucifer just tried to enjoy the perks of humanity a bit more, maybe he wouldn't be so Hell-bent on destroying it.

Just then, what remained of the window glass shattered, as a wave of energy that shook the very foundations of the Earth, swept past them. Gabriel's head swung into the direction the pressure wave had come from, just as his elder brother apparated beside him.

"Did you feel that?" Gabriel asked, as though it were possible to have missed it.

"Michael," Lucifer said. "Our brother has taken his true vessel."

Gabriel felt sick - whether from the celestial shake-up, or the knowledge of Dean Winchester's demise, he didn't know. He watched as his brother began to look increasingly agitated, ice starting to climb the walls that surrounded them.

"Hey, Lucie. You might want to calm down..."

"Calm down?" Lucifer snapped, rounding on his brother. "You want me to calm down? _Michael has taken his true vessel_. And I am still stuck wearing this pile of rotting flesh."

It was true, that 'rotting' was becoming an increasingly apt description for Lucifer's current vessel. Poor old Nick's body was not holding up well at all at this point. In fact, Gabriel was pretty sure that one of his ears was actually starting to fall off, and he was sure that Lucifer's current outburst was not going to help the situation.

"Don't look at me - I'm just as surprised as you are," Gabriel said, holding up his hands defensively. "Although you did kind of force ol' Deano's hand, what with you kidnapping his daughter and all..."

Lucifer's eyes bore down on him, willing his younger brother into silence.

"Just saying," Gabriel mumbled, wisely looking away.

"So you're saying it's my fault this happened?" Lucifer challenged in a way that very much said that Gabriel should _not_ agree with him.

"You took his daughter," Gabriel reiterated. "Parents get defensive about those kind of things. He was desperate."

"How did he think saying Yes would get him his daughter back?" Lucifer challenged. "The idiot has just died. He has just guaranteed that he will never see her again."

"I don't think Dean really cared about his survival with this one," Gabriel said. "Pretty sure he only cared about Nova's safety."

Lucifer glared at him.

"Are you saying that Nova is not safe with me?" Lucifer challenged.

"Well, no. But you can imagine how her parents might disagree," Gabriel said. "I mean, I'm not sure the Devil is high on anybody's list of preferred babysitters. And you did kind of steal her..."

" _I don't care!_ " Lucifer yelled, starting to pace back and forth. "I thought a source of power that vast might be of some use, but it is more trouble than it's worth! Maybe in a decade or so when we actually have a vessel capable of using that power, yes. But at this rate, we are not going to survive long enough for it to mature. Well, if the Winchesters want to try and force our hands with this, then they can consider them forced."

Lucifer stopped suddenly, and turned to face his brother.

"Gabriel, I need you to do something for me," Lucifer said, his voice disconcertingly calm. "I need you to track down Sam Winchester. I need you to tell him that he has to say Yes to me now."

Gabriel scoffed.

"And on what planet do you think he's going to agree to that?" Gabriel asked.

"He is going to agree," Lucifer said, walking towards his smaller brother, "because if he doesn't, I will kill the halfling. His brother's child will die, and it will be his fault."

Gabriel's stomach twisted.

"You can't mean that," he insisted.

"Oh, but I do, brother," he said, his eyes not leaving Gabriel's. "Yes, the child is powerful, but that power will do me no good if I'm dead. Better I destroy the child now, rather than risk her power falling into Michael's hands. So, yes. If Sam does not say yes to me in the next... twenty-four hours, then I will kill the halfling before she can be used against me."

"Killing a child... Your own flesh and blood. That's low, even for you," Gabriel said.

"Angels do not have flesh and blood, dear brother," Lucifer said. "And in case you hadn't noticed, killing my 'flesh and blood' is kind of the whole point of this Apocalypse. Twenty-four hours, Gabriel. And if I were you, I'd get a move on. I'm not quite sure where Sam Winchester is, but I'm fairly certain it's a long way from Detroit."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Another chapter. I'm so proud of me. Hope you guys haven't forgotten about me! Let me know how you think it's going.


	66. Chapter 66

"Hiya, guys. I'm sorry, but I don't come bearing good news."

"Gabriel?" Sam asked, standing from his chair without meaning to. "What are you doing here?"

"Nothing good, I'm afraid," Gabriel said, kicking at the floor absently as he tried to avoid Sam's gaze.

Sam feltan ache in his chest, as he took in the archangel standing contritely in the doorway. Or maybe that was just the knife Gabriel had stuck in his back. Sam couldn't forget where Gabriel had been all these days since Nova's abduction - having taken the easy way out and abandoned his family in their time of highest grief. And now with Dean... Sam swallowed hard, unsure if it was pain or anger that made his heart thump so loudly in his chest he could barely hear.

"And what exactly is that meant to mean?" Bobby asked, stepping in when Sam remained silent.

The archangel sighed, looking up at Bobby. Evidently he found it easier to meet the eyes of the old hunter than he did those of his former lover.

"I come bearing news about Nova," he said, his voice oddly stiff and formal.

"Nova?" Castiel asked, his voice almost breaking on her name. "What about Nova?"

Gabriel sighed, equally as reticent to meet his brother's eyes, as he had been to meet Sam's.

"Lucifer plans on killing her in twenty-four hours, unless Sam says Yes."

Gabriel looked up to meet Sam's eyes and held them, his mouth pulled into a tight line.

"Look, Sam. I'm..."

"How did you find this out, Gabriel?" Cas demanded, storming forward to meet his older brother.

"Cas..."

"How?" he demanded, his physical form able to tower over his brother in a way that his celestial form never could.

"...Don't make me say it," Gabriel begged, his voice nearly coming out as a whisper as he met Castiel's gaze. But Cas only remained silent.

"Because Lucifer told me," Gabriel admitted. "Where do you think I've been since I left?"

Castiel's fist connected with Gabriel's jaw, knocking him backwards onto his arse. Gabe let his. Had he wanted, he could have let Castiel break his vessel's fist on his jaw, but he felt that Cas deserved that punch.

"You coward!" Cas yelled, lights flickering as he approached his brother. "You weasley, good-for-nothing..."

"Cas... Cas!" Sam said, slamming a hand onto Cas' chest to slow his approach.

"If you let that bastard touch even one hair on her head, I swear to Father, I _will_ kill you!" Cas yelled. "I will tear you atom from atom and spread you across the galaxy, so you will _never_ be able to put yourself back together! I swear..."

"What?" Gabriel snapped, pulling himself up to lean on his elbows. "You'll what, Cassie? Cause last time I checked, I'm the archangel here, and if you had enough juice to take on one of us, Nova would still be here."

Gabriel pulled himself up, dusting himself off.

"You're the ones who have been on and on at me to pick a side. Well guess what? I picked one," Gabriel spat. "And yeah, it's a crappy side. But hate to be the one to tell you this, but they all are. At least Lucifer has never thrown me out because of something that _wasn't my fault_. And yes, he's an ass. And no, I'm not happy about what he's threatening to do to Nova. But that's why I'm here. I'm giving you the option to do something."

His eyes briefly flicked to Sam, but didn't stay there.

"I am sorry about Dean. He didn't deserve what happened to him," Gabriel said, addressing the floor more than anyone in particular. "But at least he had the guts to stand up and try something - as farfetched as it seems. I always told you guys the world was going to end bloody..."

A flap of his wings, and he was gone.

Sam only relaxed his hold on Cas, once he was sure Gabriel had left the building. Cas just stood there, panting for breath that he didn't need.

"Well, balls," Bobby said, breaking the silence as he walked over to where Sam and the angel stood, both staring at the empty door frame. "Okay, boys. Head in the game. What are we going to do?"

Cas blinked a couple times, before he was able to focus on Bobby. Bobby watched as the angel's eyes hardened.

"We're going to find Death and take his ring," Castiel said, pulling his shoulders back and turning to look at Sam. "And then you're going to say Yes and throw that bastard in the Cage."

A sad smile came to Sam, as he reached up and slapped the angel on the shoulder.

"Hell yeah, we are, Cas," Sam said. "We're going to get Nova back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long. Would love to have a great excuse for you guys, but I don't. I'm just lazy, and my life is busy. But I do seriously have intentions on finishing this fic. It's just... taking me awhile.
> 
> I hope I still have a few of you guys reading. The occasional trickle of kudos I get keeps reminding me I have to get back to this. Would love to get a few comments, now that we're getting into end game.
> 
> Anyway, hope you all had a merry christmas and a happy new year, and I'm looking forward to trying to finally get this finished.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know it's been awhile since I posted anything for my other fic, A Curse of Birth. Life has been a bit busy recently - what with GISHWHES, and now I have exams in a couple weeks (eep!), so I don't have the time to focus on a fic with an actual complicated plot. In fact, I had been trying to avoid writing at all, but unfortunately while reading other fics, I was struck by this story and it had to be written. I might be a bit haphazard in posting (I am meant to be studying :-( ) but hopefully it won't take that long to write.


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